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04-03-2018, 02:03 PM | #1 |
Minion of Satan
Location: An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom
Posts: 7,742
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I just ate a fatass salad from the salad bar
...and now I am covered in little brown dots of flung droplets of balsamic
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04-03-2018, 02:04 PM | #2 |
Minion of Satan
Location: An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom
Posts: 7,742
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I can’t go back to work like this, everyone will KNOW
And I can’t go home sick b/c I’m out of leave OMG WHAT DO I DO HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWLP MEEEEEEEEEEEWEEEEEEEE |
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04-03-2018, 02:26 PM | #3 |
full of longing
Posts: 11,505
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embrace it
own it |
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04-03-2018, 02:27 PM | #4 |
full of longing
Posts: 11,505
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~no fear~
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04-03-2018, 02:28 PM | #5 |
full of longing
Posts: 11,505
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not your fault if they can't deal with an eater of fatass salads from the salad bar
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04-03-2018, 02:29 PM | #6 |
full of longing
Posts: 11,505
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and it's not like they aren't hiding in their own balsamic splatter shame
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04-03-2018, 02:29 PM | #7 |
full of longing
Posts: 11,505
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you're providing liberation
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04-03-2018, 02:33 PM | #8 |
Minion of Satan
Location: An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom
Posts: 7,742
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So you’re saying just walk in and say “that’s correct, these are brown dots, yes, they are all over me, yes I’m embarassed, my face is hot, my pits are moist, but I’m here, and my brown dots are here, and no I’m not going to tell you their origin or the reasoning behind their brownish hue, because you haven’t earned the right to my story, and I don’t feel comfortable sharing in this context or scenario, but if you want to call me after work, or invite me to your book club or to help clean your garage or whatever, maybe we could grow together as coequal human adults, with dignity, and become something more than coworkers, and maybe on Christmas Eve, while I’m helping hang your kids’ stockings with care, then I’ll tell you, then you’ll know the secret of the brown dots that covered me, that day, and maybe then the world will be a bit braver, a bit warmer”??
I don’t know if I can memorize all that, ok if I read it from a screen as I say it? Public speaking makes my pits wet, faucets of perspiration even now just imagining this..... Ok, thanks I think it’s settled I’m just gonna have to look for another job |
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04-03-2018, 02:46 PM | #9 |
Braindead
Location: Ignore List
Posts: 17,229
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now i want salad
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04-03-2018, 02:59 PM | #10 |
Minion of Satan
Location: An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom
Posts: 7,742
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Yeah, I like the fatass kind
It’s like my scam at the salad bar, because the 1 trip is cheaper than all you can trip |
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04-03-2018, 03:38 PM | #11 |
real estate cowboy
Location: if Monsanto and Purdue Pharma had a baby
Posts: 36,880
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post pic with balsacic
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04-03-2018, 04:55 PM | #12 |
Socialphobic
Location: Away
Posts: 11,398
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Next time just eat a fatass burger cause it's more socially acceptable.
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04-03-2018, 07:54 PM | #13 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,215
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Or wear a bib.
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04-03-2018, 08:27 PM | #14 |
Braindead
Location: PROWLING THE BADLANDS
Posts: 17,399
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all this talk about ass salads and brown dot splatter may throw some ppl off
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04-03-2018, 08:41 PM | #15 |
Ownz
Posts: 667
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04-03-2018, 10:17 PM | #16 |
Braindead
Location: TX
Posts: 16,289
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I actually love salad I might switch to an all bagged salad diet sounds easy
not getting enough nutrients from BREAD |
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04-03-2018, 10:19 PM | #17 |
Braindead
Location: TX
Posts: 16,289
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Eating bag of chips rn and microwaved corndogs
But TOMORROW We start eating salads |
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04-04-2018, 07:05 AM | #18 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: all over the Internet
Posts: 44,548
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point it out before anyone else can.
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04-04-2018, 07:06 AM | #19 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: all over the Internet
Posts: 44,548
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"omg i splattered balsamic all over myself so spare me the jokes yvette from accounting"
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04-04-2018, 09:22 AM | #20 |
Socialphobic
Location: Away
Posts: 11,398
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Start bringing different shirts to work.
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04-04-2018, 03:12 PM | #21 |
Minion of Satan
Location: An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom
Posts: 7,742
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Thank you, all of these recommendations are most certainly suggestions, keep em coming. Still at the salad bar, very much hope to pick an appropriate course of action soon
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04-04-2018, 03:46 PM | #22 |
real estate cowboy
Location: if Monsanto and Purdue Pharma had a baby
Posts: 36,880
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take it easy, eating too quickly is never healthy
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04-04-2018, 04:55 PM | #23 |
dumb
Location: $8.6 million embezzled funds
Posts: 11,358
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get a job at the salad bar
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04-04-2018, 05:32 PM | #24 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Posts: 1,997
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put buffalo sauce on your salads. butter and hot sauce on salads is good for your digestive system.
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