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Old 04-12-2019, 08:23 PM   #1
Eulogy
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Default Ol couch ass are you ok aka nhl playoffs

Dude what

 
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Old 04-12-2019, 08:26 PM   #2
yo soy el mejor
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Ol COUCH ASS, R U OKAY?

R U OKAY?

R U O.K., OL' COUCH ASS?!

 
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Old 04-12-2019, 09:04 PM   #3
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I was considering making a thread but I didn’t want to steal your thunder.

Time to finally replace my Kunitz jersey with a Kessel jersey.

 
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Old 04-12-2019, 10:56 PM   #4
Mals Marola
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Ol Couch Ass, OK?

 
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Old 04-13-2019, 06:33 AM   #5
Eulogy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by duovamp View Post
I was considering making a thread but I didnít want to steal your thunder.

Time to finally replace my Kunitz jersey with a Kessel jersey.
Dude wtf. They looked so good and just farted it away.

But if Tampa also loses Iíll be cool with it. Donít wanna get spoiled.

 
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Old 04-13-2019, 06:34 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor View Post
Ol COUCH ASS, R U OKAY?

R U OKAY?

R U O.K., OL' COUCH ASS?!
If I know him like I think I know him heís prob not ok.

 
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Old 04-13-2019, 06:35 AM   #7
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Tampa and Pittsburgh are now both going to win 4 straight making this thread mostly irrelevant.

 
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Old 04-13-2019, 06:55 AM   #8
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I believe in the Pens still. They’re capable of turning this around. Pretty terrible spot they’re in now. Game 2 was a shit show but game 1 wasn’t too impressive either.

At least the Steelers are go- fml.

 
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Old 04-16-2019, 09:52 PM   #9
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WHAT THE FUCK

 
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Old 04-16-2019, 09:59 PM   #10
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FUCKFUCKFUCK

 
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Old 04-16-2019, 10:00 PM   #11
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Hnnngggggg. Fuck...

 
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Old Yesterday, 06:50 AM   #12
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Just watched game 4 after working until 0300. Absolutely gutted.

It's a choke job of historic proportions. Granted, losing our Norris defending 1st D for the series certainly didn't help. He may have been there physically early, but was clearly still concussed after missing the last 4 games of the season after getting his noodle rocked on an awkward hit. I'm amazed he managed to dress when he seemed neurologically compromised. I just hope he isn't seriously scrambled as he is our most valuable player overall. Jesus christ our D in this series was a fucking disgrace. The team neurologist should be struck with a phonebook.

Our top forwards started their yearly swoon a few rounds early this year. Kuch is an amazing player but never gets his footing going in the playoffs. He's rattled by physical play. Not afraid, just gets pissed and tries to play like a power forward when he's not. Losing him for game 3 on a stupid fucking hit wasn't great. He was just trying to run guys for parts of the series and passing to ghosts. Stamkos had his best season since destroying his leg, but once again couldn't find space when it counted. 1 goal and like 7 posts, another Stammer stunner. Point gets a pass, he's still early on in his career and though mostly invisible in game 4, he didn't make many glaring turnovers like so many teammates.

Vasy, WTF? So rattled and not up to standard. Why you forget how to stop every screened shot? Outplayed by Bob. I hope he isn't getting a case of the yips.

Cooper stood behind the bench chomping gum, sucking balls, and getting outcoached per usual. He wants to be the next Barry Trotz but he'll never win a cup. His only in game adjustments involve swapping the dicks of the other team's head and associate coaches out of his mouth. Our special teams were special ed- no offense to the retarded for the comparison to Coop. We stupidly signed him to an extension before the playoffs. Our owner has more money than God- so we should fire him. Fuck it- just consider his salary bad money and make him twirl a sign outside the stadium or something. It's going to be hilarious when he 1 signs a huge extension 2 finishes a historically good regular season 3 gets fired 4 wins the Jack Adams all within three months.

The team hadn't played a meaningful game in 2019 and it showed. CBJ fought to get into the playoffs, and it showed. Full credit to them as they played at a high level. Even if regular season TBL managed to show up, Columbus would've given them all they could handle. Torts has that team flying and I hope they destroy the Caps if it comes to it. He game planned for us perfectly and our coach duh duh duh couldn't figure it out.

Heads have to roll. You can't fire the whole team, so you have to fire Cooper. We weren't ready for the playoffs after playing globetrotters for 3 months and it's unforgivable.

Fuck hockey. I can't wait for global warming to melt every patch of fucking ice on this miserable planet. I know you're bummed too, Eulogy. But the Pens haven't been Cup starved for the last decade and a half. You have multiple HD videos of Pens hoisting Cups. I have only an early gen DVD of Dave Andreychuk getting Stanley and he's AARP aged.

But really, fuck all sports. I'm a fucking Lightning, Dodger and Buccaneer fan. How's that for a trifecta of misery. Two really good regular season teams full of playoff chokers and post season futility. And, an NFL franchise that is forever in disarray. It's a good thing Jameis doesn't live on eating W's alone, because he'd fucking starve. By the time we're done with Bruce Arians, he'll have wished doctors hadn't discovered his kidney cancer early enough.

Did you see Puig go deep on Kershaw in his first at bat back at Dodger stadium? I wish it could have hit the face of every member of the front office obsessed with advanced stats instead of watching the fucking games. Oh, Puig was a headache? Well, he's one of the few Dodgers who had any fucking spark in the playoffs last year. "Oh, but his dŽWARit* was 1 fake unit below replacement last year, better trade him to dump the salaries of Kemp and Wood and replace him with AJ fucking Pollock. Limp dick fish man is supposed to at least rake for 50 games before he cripples himself for the season and he can't even do that. We're going to somehow win the NL West again, we're going to go the World Series again, and we're going to fucking lose again. And Dave Roberts will change pitchers 7 times in one inning at some point this season, just because he can (for now).


But, I'm cool




































*information technology

Last edited by Ol' Couch Ass : Yesterday at 07:14 AM.

 
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Old Yesterday, 06:58 AM   #13
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Old Yesterday, 09:25 AM   #14
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Buccaneers too? You have my sympathy.

 
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Old Yesterday, 10:04 AM   #15
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Sorry buddy!

I’m not too bummed about the pens because they’ve looked mediocre at best all year. Wasn’t gonna happen for ‘em and I’m glad I don’t have to suffer through anymore.

 
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Old Yesterday, 03:27 PM   #16
Ol' Couch Ass
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Originally Posted by Eulogy View Post
Sorry buddy!

Iím not too bummed about the pens because theyíve looked mediocre at best all year. Wasnít gonna happen for Ďem and Iím glad I donít have to suffer through anymore.
The worst part, is this pretty much ruins the fucking playoffs for me. I just don't know how much I'll be able to stomach and I usually watch a ton of non-Lightning games. Hockey is such a silly sport- anyone who gives a shit about it is a total hoser.

 
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Old Yesterday, 03:29 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by duovamp View Post
Buccaneers too? You have my sympathy.
Thank you.

When I die, I want 2 Lightning, Dodger and Bucs players to be my pallbearers so that they can let me down just one more time...

 
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