XRISTMAS XOUNTDOWN

[Tyler]

If I missed my chance, I didn't even try
I'm not one to regret Christmas in July
If my timing is bad, like a fish on a bike,
Would you let me pretend: Christmas in July?

[Tyler]

Los Angeles is also lame for Christmas. Growing up I was so jealous of people that lived where it snowed. And then when I experienced it for the first time it was even more magical than I expected it to be. It's not often one gets to say that

[Tyler]

Originally Posted by Tyler

LaBelle:

PUT UP A TREE

A REAL TREE SPEAKING OF WHICH ARTIFICIAL TREE USERS PLS IDENTIFY YOURSELVES IT'LL BE BETTER FOR YOU IF YOU COME ALONG WILLINGLY

[MplsTaper]

I guess over time we became ducks
I never seemed to see you much
Then the world turned, time got away
We fell out of touch

I've been working at the airport bar
It's like Christmas in a submarine
Wings and brandy on a winter's night
I guess you wouldn't call it a scene

[LaBelle]

Originally Posted by Tyler

LaBelle:

HI FUCK YOU DUMMY PUT UP A TREE IT'S NOT JUST FOR CHRISTMAS DAY IT'S FOR THE WHOLE SEASON YOU GOTTA SIT NEXT TO THAT THING AT NIGHT WITH THE HOUSE LIGHTS OFF AND FEEL THAT GOOD CHRISTMASTIME SADNESS I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOURS IS ABOUT BUT PERSONALLY MINE'S ABOUT FEELING POWERFULLY ALONE, UNSEEN, AND UNACCEPTED AND ALSO IT'S ABOUT HOW NO MATTER HOW HARD I MIGHT TRY I'LL LIKELY NEVER BE ABLE TO RECAPTURE THE FEELINGS THAT MADE THIS HOLIDAY SPECIAL TO ME IN THE FIRST PLACE AND ALSO WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THIS STUPID UPSIDE DOWN HEMISPHERE CHRISTMAS IN SUMMER BULLSHIT YOU GOTTA GET OUTTA THERE IT JUST ISN'T RIGHT IT JUST DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT TO ME I JUST DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL MAY IT FOREVER FEEL LIKE THERE'S A HAIR ON YOUR TONGUE AND MAY YOU NEVER BE ABLE TO FIND IT MAY YOUR EVERY MEAL BE RUINED BY ONE BITE YOU TAKE TOWARD THE BEGINNING THAT HAS A WEIRD TEXTURE THING GOING ON THAT REALLY GROSSES YOU OUT AND RUINS YOUR APPETITE MAY YOU BE FOREVERMORE INVISIBLE TO ALL REALLY CUTE ANIMALS (HUMANS INCLUDED) AND YOU CALL TO THEM TO TRY TO GET THEIR ATTENTION SO YOU CAN PET THEM OR FUCK THEM OR WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU DO BUT THEY DON'T EVER TURN TO LOOK IN YOUR DIRECTION EXCEPT THIS ONE TIME THEY DO BUT THEY'RE NOT LOOKING AT YOU THEY'RE LOOKING RIGHT THROUGH YOU LIKE YOU'RE A GHOST OR SOMETHING AND YOU START TO WONDER IF MAYBE YOU ARE A GHOST OR SOMETHING MAY ALL YOUR PEACHES SEEM RIPE WHEN YOU BUY THEM BUT TURN OUT TO BE ENTIRELY FLAVORLESS UPON BITING INTO THEM MAY THERE FOREVER BE ONE REALLY IRRITATING MOSQUITO THAT FLIES AROUND YOUR ROOM AND THAT YOU CAN NEVER CATCH AND THAT BITES YOU IN ENTIRELY INCONVENIENT LOCATIONS EACH NIGHT AS YOU SLEEP MAY EVENING FIND YOU GRACIOUS AND FULFILLED MAY YOU GO INTO THE NIGHT BLESSED SHELTERED AND PROTECTED MAY YOU BE CALMED CONSOLED AND RENEWED AND MAY YOU FEEL SAFE AND ACCEPTED AND VALUED AND LOVED WHEREVER YOU MAY BE

Now THAT'S the christmas spirit I remember growing up. Just with less cursing.

[LaBelle]

Originally Posted by FoolofaTook

OH
MY
GOD

[FoolofaTook]

just wait until you see him swallow a frog headfirst


adorable!!

[Mals Marola]

thanks for the spoiler, asshole

[FoolofaTook]

sorry


at least i didn't tell you how he blasted a death-star with a flick of his cutesy little yoda wrist



WHOOPS

[LaBelle]

20 DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS!

[LaBelle]

i'm taking over this operation

[LaBelle]

actually no, i'm not. too much responsibility.

[Tyler]

WHAT

[Tyler]

THE FUCK

[Tyler]

Wow

[Tyler]

Ok

[Tyler]

First of all

[Tyler]

I don't even

[Tyler]

WOW

[Tyler]

[Tyler]

Look. Once more for the latecomers, here's how this works. I POST THE UPDATES. And you? You don't post anything. Unless I've specifically invited a response with one of my Christmas musings. You know what. Don't even post then. Just sit and think about your reply silently.

[Tyler]

TWENTY DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS

[Tyler]

THE XRISTMAS XOUNTDOWN STYLE MANUAL REQUIRES THAT NUMBERS BE SPELLED OUT. CONSISTENT FORMATTING IS IMPORTANT TO MY AUDIENCE

[Tyler]

[FoolofaTook]

tyler pls

[Tyler]

[Cool As Ice Cream]

tayleure

a tree has entered my home

[topleybird]

It's a Christmas miracle:

They matched on a dating site and got married. He needed a kidney, and they matched again

This story is a lot more heartwarming when you get over your initial impression that a donor match has to be an immediate blood relative