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Old 04-23-2018, 06:50 PM   #61
FlamingGlobes
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Terry O'Quinn is the father I never had.

 
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Old 05-25-2018, 04:02 PM   #62
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I made the decision today to go into therapy and try meds. I've never allowed myself to do this before.

 
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Old 05-25-2018, 05:09 PM   #63
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I made the decision today to go into therapy and try meds. I've never allowed myself to do this before.
Wow, good for you, seriously. I fear that I wasted years of my life by being unwilling to go to therapy or try meds. Now I'm two years into therapy, one year into meds, and although it's not a magical switch, both things have really improved my quality of life. Getting help can be one of the scariest parts of having a mental illness, you should seriously be proud of yourself for taking this step.

 
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Old 05-25-2018, 05:46 PM   #64
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plus 1 good job

 
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Old 05-25-2018, 05:54 PM   #65
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i've been seeing my therapist for a steady 7 years and i'm proud of that fact. i see her bi-weekly or weekly when i'm having a tough time- she usually can tell and will say something like 'so let's set up something for next week'. her name is nina and she's super cool beans. she's italian, in her 60s, shoulder-length blonde hair with great bounce and soft curls that can move from one side part to the other so effortlessly when she runs her fingers through it, stylish, confident, funny, understanding, reflective, compassionate, and just really seems to care about me. she knows me and more about me than anyone else in this whole wide world so of course i have a deep affinity for her. that's her job, though.

she's mentioned medication, but doesn't push it, and i appreciate that after all these years she hasn't named anything (other therapists have used "bipolar" or "classic depression" after only knowing me a few sessions), which i'm afraid would just serve as a crutch or something to point at as an excuse for my behavior. i just want to manage my emotions well and not let them fuck up my life and get monies and be in a position to work for children.

Last edited by yo soy el mejor : 05-25-2018 at 06:09 PM.

 
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Old 05-25-2018, 06:46 PM   #66
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that's awesome ****. i've been seeing my therapist for roughly the same amount of time, holy shit i didn't realize we hit the 7 year mark but i think it was may. which means my grandmother died 7 years ago this march. weird. i still have dreams where she's alive and i'm like "WTF why does no one see that she's alive didn't she die?!??!"

she's seen me from not leaving my house or showering for weeks to moving out to working to getting an entire BA... when i first saw her i didn't even have legal control over my own assets, my mom did.

i guess shit's not so bad when i remember how it used to be... i still go 2x per week and still need it. i've found, for me, labels in some sense to be helpful. the idea that that my symptoms form a syndrome that others have figured out treatments for and that other people experience just like me (if considerably more rarely than some other MIs) is helpful. but, everyone is different. a lot of my symptoms of depression are much better but i still have problems with interpersonal relationships, like severe problems that show up constantly. like for example i have this one piece of furniture that i need to move. i could literally ask my landlord, who lives literally 20 feet from me, and has a truck, and obviously knows i'm moving, to help me move this thing less than a mile away. it would take 10 minutes. but i can't fucking ask wtf is wrong with me, literally i've put out an ad for someone to help me for $50 instead of asking someone for help for free who has known me for 6 years and does construction as a job and has a truck and would have no problem helping me. i can ask for help when it's at work, or sometimes from my therapist, but to ask someone to do me a favor that just benefits me is somehow off limits. idk.

Last edited by reprise85 : 05-25-2018 at 06:52 PM.

 
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Old 05-25-2018, 06:49 PM   #67
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how easily we forget

 
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Old 05-25-2018, 09:05 PM   #68
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old school MAOIs and shit treated your entire body, so your finger would stop hurting but there were all kinds of problems such as blunted affect and really dangerous combinations with certain foods.
Hey I'm on Nardil!

 
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Old 05-26-2018, 12:25 AM   #69
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I've been on a whole variety of different combinations of therapy and meds and they've probably prevented me from killing myself but also i just generally feel worse than i ever have in the past. Basically, my depression is intensifying indefinitely but i've managed to leverage my self-loathing enough to trick my brain into not letting me kill myself (even though I continue to want to die), and i'm just learning how to sleep 10 hours a day and keep myself distracted so I can do the bare minimum required of me to keep others happy. So i guess i'm no good at not dying inside, but i've got some pro tips on not killing yourself?

 
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Old 05-26-2018, 04:26 AM   #70
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Hey I'm on Nardil!
have you been on it for a long time? what are the food restrictions like?

 
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Old 05-26-2018, 12:13 PM   #71
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have you been on it for a long time? what are the food restrictions like?
Started this year. The foods to avoid aren't a big deal...cheese, wine/beer, cured meats. A lot of people on message boards say they don't even worry about it from what I can tell. Just don't gnaw on a wheel of cheese, probably.

I've tried all the popular antidepressants doctors prescribe and thought I'd be forced to live with the side-effects. It was only after reading about David Foster Wallace that I even knew MAOIs existed. I don't think doctors realize how effective they are.

 
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Old 05-26-2018, 12:31 PM   #72
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I would rather die inside than not drink beer

 
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Old 05-26-2018, 12:31 PM   #73
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I don't even know if that's me talking or my inside death

 
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Old 05-26-2018, 03:15 PM   #74
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i've been smoking cigarettes since i crossed the atlantic. got drunk on the plane, got drunk at a slavic pop/rock concert, got drunk and watched alcest on youtube.

otherwise i stay high on god.

 
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Old 05-30-2018, 12:01 PM   #75
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Thanks for the kind words guys.

I just popped my first 10 mg of apo-escitalopram. Looking forward to seeing how this goes.

 
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Old 05-31-2018, 02:04 AM   #76
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How much does therapy cost?

 
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Old 05-31-2018, 02:21 AM   #77
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Depends on whether you're seeing a WINZ-appointed counselor or a medicinal psychiatrist working out of their Kohi practice, I suppose.

 
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Old 05-31-2018, 03:47 AM   #78
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You have a salient point.

 
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Old 05-31-2018, 07:50 AM   #79
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my fee is $48 per session with a sliding scale, which still adds up when I see her weekly. I submitted my insurance card and I was under the impression my sessions would be covered or at least at $20, but every time I go back they charger me $48. of course, I haven't said anything.

 
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Old 05-31-2018, 02:05 PM   #80
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Yeah, I was wondering about the whole US insurance thing and what it covers.

 
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Old 05-31-2018, 02:17 PM   #81
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How much does therapy cost?
varies wildly depending on your insurance plan and the practice you are going to. I don't have much money and I live in a civilized blue state which has worked to make Obamacare successful instead of trying to destroy it, so I actually pay almost nothing to see my therapist.

 
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Old 05-31-2018, 08:12 PM   #82
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How much does therapy cost?
More than killing yourself.

 
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Old 05-31-2018, 08:15 PM   #83
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my therapy costs $25 per session. i actually have 20% coinsurance which comes out to 26 something but we just do 25. i have original medicare.

 
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Old 05-31-2018, 08:23 PM   #84
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Braggart

 
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Old 06-01-2018, 01:50 AM   #85
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More than killing yourself.
For a second, I thought you meant therapy is cheaper than killing yourself and I was like "oh that's nice".

 
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Old 06-01-2018, 01:57 AM   #86
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well you have to consider the cost to others as well

funerals are not cheap

 
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Old 06-01-2018, 02:06 AM   #87
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"I tried and I tried, and I finally found it. It's sunny and warm; like California."


 
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Old 06-01-2018, 03:02 AM   #88
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So the unemployed/uninsured miss out? Seems fair. what have they got to be depressed about?

 
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Old 06-01-2018, 03:08 AM   #89
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oh yeah in the US if you don't have insurance and you have to see a doctor you actually might as well kill yourelf

 
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Old 06-01-2018, 05:40 AM   #90
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Quote:
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well you have to consider the cost to others as well

funerals are not cheap
leaving a corpse is for rookies

 
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