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Old 03-19-2016, 02:36 AM   #301
ilikeplanets
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Birthday woooooo! Decently high, too hungry though

 
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Old 03-19-2016, 02:38 AM   #302
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so this concert is 3 weeks away. should I try to hang out with her before then?

we've been chatting a bit, just a few messages back and forth a day, but I'm kind of worried I am going to do something dumb and lose the momentum of the conversation over that period of time
shed some light on your interactions.
what are they like? is there flirting going on?

 
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Old 03-19-2016, 02:40 AM   #303
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Do y'all live close to each other rbg? If so hang out like a week before it if you want to but it's not necessarily good or bad to do so. I just would want to if it was me. Y'all have met before, right?

 
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Old 03-19-2016, 02:40 AM   #304
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Limit contact and, in doing so, maintain the illusion that you will not develop into a clingy and insecure burden with a penchant for excessive self-indulgence.

 
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Old 03-19-2016, 02:44 AM   #305
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Mind games are dumb though. Be together if y'all want to be..

 
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Old 03-19-2016, 02:55 AM   #306
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i fucking despise all that game playing but it seems like there's no other choice but to do it, because if you don't you're immediately perceived as creepy, needy, unattractive and whatever

like, texting with girls from okcupid now, it's so fucking obvious everybody sees my text straight away. but they're always going to wait 40 minutes before they reply. it's just dumb.

 
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Old 03-19-2016, 03:23 AM   #307
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Do y'all live close to each other rbg? If so hang out like a week before it if you want to but it's not necessarily good or bad to do so. I just would want to if it was me. Y'all have met before, right?
she lives in DC somewhere, so not too far. She went to the same school as me but she's a year older and I don't think I ever met her except for once at a house party three or four years ago. She's very attractive so I took note of her at the time and she facebook friended me which I remember because I was flattered. She seemed pretty bubbly and outgoing, easy to talk to, down to earth, whatever. I was also really drunk at this party and remember dancing ridiculously to Rebecca Black's Friday in the car port, so she's already seen me be a fucking idiot although who knows if she remembers that. She also laughed at some dumb things I said.

I know this was just one interaction years ago, but she seemed really cool. I mentally filed her away in the wow she's amazing I would love to be her boyfriend but that will never happen drawer in my brain. When she randomly sent me that message I was smiling all stupidly that I might have another chance to talk to her years later

 
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Old 03-19-2016, 03:30 AM   #308
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her facebook also says she is going to this lecture at our alma mater the weekend after the concert which I also happen to have tickets to. I'm hoping that if things go well she'll be down to hang out or meet up or something

 
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Old 03-19-2016, 05:09 AM   #309
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Next time, you could put on a romantic movie to get the both of you in the mood. Something along the lines of Edmond.
things that get your physical arousal going can be confused with sexual arousal. so, moral of the story: take dates to scary movies, roller coasters, etc

 
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Old 03-19-2016, 05:13 AM   #310
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yeah i've read the same, only regarding food. i.e, cook your date dinner and make pasta with spicy vodka tomato sauce

 
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Old 03-19-2016, 07:38 AM   #311
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things that get your physical arousal going can be confused with sexual arousal. so, moral of the story: take dates to scary movies, roller coasters, etc
Got that bitch involved in a police chase. Bitches love police chases.

 
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Old 03-19-2016, 12:14 PM   #312
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Originally Posted by reprise85 View Post
things that get your physical arousal going can be confused with sexual arousal. so, moral of the story: take dates to scary movies, roller coasters, etc
Quote:
Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
yeah i've read the same, only regarding food. i.e, cook your date dinner and make pasta with spicy vodka tomato sauce
I think spicy food is good even if you go out to eat. I have read that eating spicy food (not just hot food, but food with a lot of spices e.g. Indian) actually to a certain extent produces a mental high.

 
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Old 03-19-2016, 02:36 PM   #313
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When I work out to jesus lizard I get a much different workout. More even, thorough, exhausting. As opposed to public enemy which I've been listening to. Where it hurts worse but I'm left full of energy.

 
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Old 03-19-2016, 03:35 PM   #314
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I work out in complete silence and darkness
Nothing but the sound of my own aguish

 
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Old 03-19-2016, 05:30 PM   #315
reprise85
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Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
yeah i've read the same, only regarding food. i.e, cook your date dinner and make pasta with spicy vodka tomato sauce
yeah that works too. it also releases dopamine if i remember correctly.

Last edited by reprise85 : 03-19-2016 at 05:35 PM.

 
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Old 03-20-2016, 09:22 AM   #316
teh b0lly!!1
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ok, since this is the official dating thread, i am now liveblogging my love life.
tonight i went out with this russian girl. she was a little weird. we spent most of our 'date' talking about horrific dates each of us has had here. i wasn't really interested and kind of figured i'll buy her a drink and politely say 'see ya' when the evening ends, but she actually made the move on me and kissed me. so then i figured what the hell, and tried to get her back to my place, but she said i should have kissed her at the bar we were at and now it's too late to go to my place.

so i was like, 'well it's only 21:30 and you were all the way across the table'. and she was like, 'you should have just gotten up and switched sides and come sit next to me'. do people do that? isn't that terribly risky during a date? you could blow everything up by being too blunt or something. eh. anyway since i don't care either way we said goodbyes and maybe we'll meet again. tomorrow i go to the other girl's house though, that'll be good, probably. hm. maybe i am turning into one of those "playas".

 
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Old 03-20-2016, 11:46 AM   #317
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If I may veer into baseless racism for a moment, Russians are fucking nuts. This is blowjob girl you are going to see tomorrow? So you'll probably have sex, right?

 
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Old 03-20-2016, 01:17 PM   #318
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Tehberrs is out of control

 
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Old 03-20-2016, 02:13 PM   #319
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shed some light on your interactions.
what are they like? is there flirting going on?
well she offered to split the ticket cost via venmo whatever the fuck that is, and I said I didn't have that but she can buy me a drink when we get there, which I thought was kind of funny and establishes my investment in taking her out on a date while not fucking around with that guy pays for everything bs. She asked me if I wanted to grab dinner so we could chat first and I said yeah def but I'm kind of a suburbanite and don't know what's good near the club. Turns out she lives pretty close and picked a Greek restaurant for dinner and a place to get a drink before the show on the spot. Other than that we've talked a little bit about school, mutual acquaintances, where we live.

I wouldn't say we're being explicitly flirty, just a bit playful. She does seem like she is genuinely looking forward to the show and she had no problem jumping in and making some decisions about what we were going to do which I appreciate and am taking as a sign of her engagement. IRL I would probably be laying it on thicker at this point, but I guess I am trying to remain more reserved and respectful because I see her as someone I might actually like and I don't want to creep her out. One of the great lessons of my life has been that often the things I do in the real world to be charming or funny do not come off correctly on the internet at all and can piss people off.

I'm kind of thinking that now that our plans are mostly taken care of, I might back off and let her run a bit instead of trying to artificially keep the convo going. Thoughts?

 
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Old 03-20-2016, 05:06 PM   #320
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man, you just are the funniest guy

 
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Old 03-20-2016, 05:38 PM   #321
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i wish you a good marriage and many healthy children

 
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Old 03-20-2016, 06:33 PM   #322
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If I may veer into baseless racism for a moment, Russians are fucking nuts. This is blowjob girl you are going to see tomorrow? So you'll probably have sex, right?
i think she might push it back a bit longer because she wants me to think she's not easy, but it's going to happen pretty soon anyway.

 
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Old 03-20-2016, 06:40 PM   #323
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Originally Posted by redbreegull View Post
well she offered to split the ticket cost via venmo whatever the fuck that is, and I said I didn't have that but she can buy me a drink when we get there, which I thought was kind of funny and establishes my investment in taking her out on a date while not fucking around with that guy pays for everything bs. She asked me if I wanted to grab dinner so we could chat first and I said yeah def but I'm kind of a suburbanite and don't know what's good near the club. Turns out she lives pretty close and picked a Greek restaurant for dinner and a place to get a drink before the show on the spot. Other than that we've talked a little bit about school, mutual acquaintances, where we live.

I wouldn't say we're being explicitly flirty, just a bit playful. She does seem like she is genuinely looking forward to the show and she had no problem jumping in and making some decisions about what we were going to do which I appreciate and am taking as a sign of her engagement. IRL I would probably be laying it on thicker at this point, but I guess I am trying to remain more reserved and respectful because I see her as someone I might actually like and I don't want to creep her out. One of the great lessons of my life has been that often the things I do in the real world to be charming or funny do not come off correctly on the internet at all and can piss people off.

I'm kind of thinking that now that our plans are mostly taken care of, I might back off and let her run a bit instead of trying to artificially keep the convo going. Thoughts?
well like you said, she sounds bubbly and outgoing, so just play your cards right and things will probably tip your way. and i would guess she wants to have dinner to give your date more 'depth' and actually get to spend quality time together before it gets too noisy.

my strategy is usually to avoid mindless chit-chat through the internet or texts leading to the meeting. like, engage her if you must, but try to keep it short, and save your communications for when you actually meet. you can only really wreck it before that.

also, re: the man pays for everything bs. what's everybody's stand on that?
now i'm going on a lot of dates and it's very obvious everyone expects me to bellow out a fake laugh and reach for my wallet while saying "oh let me get that".

 
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Old 03-20-2016, 06:45 PM   #324
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When ordering drinks at a bar, some time ago, I found myself engaged in an uncomfortably long and largely one-sided conversation with the only very vaguely renowned Russian comic standing next to me. The gist of his diatribe was that, ultimately, only Russian men are culturally conditioned to deal with their countrywomen and that foreigners such as myself will be gradually crushed under what he described as their endlessly demanding ways and high expectations for some ambiguous form of forcefulness in dealing with them.

 
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Old 03-20-2016, 07:20 PM   #325
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Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
well like you said, she sounds bubbly and outgoing, so just play your cards right and things will probably tip your way. and i would guess she wants to have dinner to give your date more 'depth' and actually get to spend quality time together before it gets too noisy.

my strategy is usually to avoid mindless chit-chat through the internet or texts leading to the meeting. like, engage her if you must, but try to keep it short, and save your communications for when you actually meet. you can only really wreck it before that.

also, re: the man pays for everything bs. what's everybody's stand on that?
now i'm going on a lot of dates and it's very obvious everyone expects me to bellow out a fake laugh and reach for my wallet while saying "oh let me get that".
I usually assume we'll pay half each. If my date insists on paying, I'll only go along with it if it's relatively cheap and I will insist next time. Or for instance if we go to dinner and then get ice cream later, I'll make sure I get the ice cream. There might be some kind of exception, like if I know the other person makes much more than me and they know I know and they wanted to go somewhere expensive, I feel like that's on them.

In this way I feel like I can be the nice girl who lets the man feel empowered by paying at first if he wants, but I also want to make it clear I don't expect it nor want it all the time.

Then again I don't have intimate relationships with anyone and I just recently learned that people feel things when talking to each other in everyday conversations. I also had a convo with a professor about research on Friday and made sure to look at him the entire time and engage in a normal way and it was super stressful for me.

 
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Old 03-20-2016, 07:35 PM   #326
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I think we had a big conversation about this just a few months ago.

My thoughts are that it is largely contextual. The only thing I have a problem with is the idea that the man "should" pay b/c "chivalry" or "being a gentleman" or something else sexist. Generally I agree that it would be best to split the cost of a date, especially a first date, in theory. In practice, because we live in a world shaped by these intense gender norms, it is not always super easy to do that. I figure the woman I am talking to is at least moderately a feminist because she works in environmental justice and went to a public liberal arts school, but even so it was just easier for me to buy the tickets than to tell her ok I bought mine you go here and purchase yours, or to set up an account with that thing that splits the cost or whatever. Also I did want to demonstrate I was investing to take her out as a token of my interest, not just fucking around cause I'm bored.

Also this opens up the opportunity for her to do something reciprocal, in this case probably buy dinner. I can't really explain why, but I feel it's more romantic to not worry about splitting the exact cost 50/50 but to both add something different to the experience. I know it doesn't really make sense and probably no one else thinks this way, but it feels more intimate I guess thinking that I took her to a show and she bought me dinner as opposed to we each bought a ticket and each paid for our dinner and just did those things together

 
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Old 03-20-2016, 07:39 PM   #327
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I'm also a big advocate of not going somewhere that costs money on a first date, or just a few bucks like let's grab coffee.


so yeah I'm breaking all my own rules with this one but I am 27 and this is literally the first time I have ever properly asked a girl out

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Old 03-20-2016, 07:43 PM   #328
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tonight

Old Fashioned with bulleit rye and a couple episodes of House of Cards

 
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Old 03-20-2016, 07:51 PM   #329
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I'm also a big advocate of not going somewhere that costs money on a first date, or just a few bucks like let's grab coffee.


so yeah I'm breaking all my own rules with this one but I am 27 and this is literally the first time I have ever properly asked a girl out
Do you feel pressure to pay for her? I never do but you know, I don't have to worry about being chivalrous with girls.

 
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Old 03-20-2016, 07:55 PM   #330
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I don't believe in this "the man should pay" benevolent sexism bullshit, but I do think that whoever propositions the date should pay, assuming it's a first date or something like that. Otherwise, couples should split the bill, or sort of alternate between themselves or whatever.

 
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