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Old 05-23-2014, 09:14 PM   #1
Trotskilicious
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Default meeting women at the office

so i have found out that my impending late night shift is filled with attractive women

i am obviously not the greatest at meeting women and lots of people meet at work

how do you do this without like being creepy or sexually harrassing and etc

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 09:29 PM   #2
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"Hahaha, yeah... Hey, we should hang out some time."
"(Positive response)."
"What's your number?"

Update thread after this point for further advice.

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 09:43 PM   #3
Trotskilicious
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okay man i'm gonna do that

i'm so gonna get a girl to like me someday

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 10:42 PM   #4
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don't shit where you eat

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 10:44 PM   #5
Future Boy
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just quit if needed, worked out last time

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 11:26 PM   #6
Trotskilicious
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p. sure i can get on unemployment if i work this one right

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 11:44 PM   #7
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-act like you don't give a shit about what anyone thinks about you but don't be overtly negative.
-if there is a situation where you need to say something negative or complain, end the statement with an upnote.
-think of a few cultural signifiers that are absolutely necessary, and use them to start conversations. talk about stories you heard on NPR, but avoid topics like genocide.


and man, most of all:
-smell nice. chew gum after your lunch break. dunno if you smoke cigarettes, but if you do cut that shit out. this is a deal breaker for all women.

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 11:45 PM   #8
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i wear old spice classic because it's inexpensive but i'm going to transition to something else because i imagine it reminds women of their dads and grandpas.

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 11:50 PM   #9
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well i'm doomed

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 11:50 PM   #10
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what are cultural signifires i dunno what that is

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 11:51 PM   #11
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i'm having a hard time understanding why you think that.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:00 AM   #12
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by cultural signifiers i mean, you know you will not be able to stand someone who is pro life, but an avid NPR listener is a person whose presence you can tolerate on a long term basis. they will pick up on this too even though you're the one initating it.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:00 AM   #13
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you described all the things i can't do and a person that is not who i am so i'm just a hopeless loser that will never find anyone and will die of colon cancer alone

i mean i've been told i smell nice before but i think in every case it was either ironic or it was because i usually smell like farts and ball sweat, cigarettes and weed. now it's just farts, ballsweat and weed.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:02 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bread Regal View Post
t an avid NPR listener is a person whose presence you can tolerate on a long term basis
if they are avid npr listeners i think i'd probably not be able to stand them after a while

if they go "hey man i actually heard something cool on NPR the other day"

i'd be like "really? there's so much bourgoisie shit on that station,"

"absolutely, it makes me sick most of the time," and then she'd run her hand thru her blue mohawk and our eyes will meet

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:04 AM   #15
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so there's a girl with a blue mohawk where you work.

i would respond with "they have some good stuff on there, but some of the reporting is so out of touch that it's comical. anyway what's this intersting thing you heard?"

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:07 AM   #16
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don't act like you do on the internet.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:08 AM   #17
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go to hell gossamer

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:15 AM   #18
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it's like he lurks just to insult me

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:33 AM   #19
Future Boy
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act exactly like you do on the internet

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 01:26 AM   #20
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Make them laugh.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 01:34 AM   #21
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i've always been able to do that

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 01:53 AM   #22
Kreatorkind
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WHAAA!!! Women don't instantly suck my dick!!! WHaa BUT THEY'RE SO HOTTT!!! I WANT THEM TO SUCK MY LITTLE PEE PEE!!!!

Oh, maybe if you weren't such a fat piece of shit that expected women to "see past your shitty fuck face" and give you a chance.... then maybe you could trick them into letting you have an orgasm in their presence.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 02:27 AM   #23
Sonic Johnny
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I've been seeing a girl for a few weeks now who was a regular customer at my work. I'm leaving soon so I figured I should just take the shot... pulled the most cliche barista move ever and wrote my phone number on her coffee. I've never done that before and probably would never do it again but it worked out pretty fuckin good for me.

I dunno if that helps but I guess write your phone number on a stapler or something and then hand it to her?

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 02:36 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bread Regal View Post
i wear old spice classic because it's inexpensive but i'm going to transition to something else because i imagine it reminds women of their dads and grandpas.
I've got a bottle of that, which has one of my favorite lines of ad copy ever on it: "If your grandpa didn't wear this, you wouldn't exist." Pure gold.

Anyways, yeah - even though I do have that aftershave, I rarely wear it. That said, it still makes me feel classy in a vintage way as all hell every now and again.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 02:36 AM   #25
Kreatorkind
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic Johnny View Post
I've been seeing a girl for a few weeks now who was a regular customer at my work. I'm leaving soon so I figured I should just take the shot... pulled the most cliche barista move ever and wrote my phone number on her coffee. I've never done that before and probably would never do it again but it worked out pretty fuckin good for me.

I dunno if that helps but I guess write your phone number on a stapler or something and then hand it to her?

Right on muthafukka!

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 02:48 AM   #26
The exploding boy
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Don't do that. that's a terrible idea and i'm gonna assume Sonic Johnny is fairly good looking to have pulled that one of.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 03:04 AM   #27
Bread Regal
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sonic johnny looks like a malnourished lumberjack

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 03:16 AM   #28
The exploding boy
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Oh. So what you're saying is he's probably lying?


Wait wait...lumberjack is sexy to women.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 03:44 AM   #29
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they just swing like that in austrailia guys

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 03:47 AM   #30
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i should be more worried about keeping my job than trying to play outside of my peer group

that's what i decided

 
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