Archived Posts: Remastered

[Disco King]

This is what my cousin and I intend to do this summer at Six Flags in NJ. Anyway, the real topic at hand is, have any of you ever taken drugs through airport security, and how should it be done?

[Joey Goldberg]

Originally Posted by Disco King

"He'll get bored of this," you think to your self. "There's no way this thread will make it to page 2."

no way, you're just getting to the good stuff!

anyway, up the butt obv

[FoolofaTook]

thats what your dad said last night

[FoolofaTook]

[Joey Goldberg]

begone cretin

[Disco King]

holy fucking hell how does a cyst that was removed soon after it appeared turn into this?! i had it removed and they can't sew up that kind of wound so i had to wear pads for a while because blood was coming out of the wound for a while. BFD.

some other guy has crohn's disease, but i don't remember who. that can cause all sorts of bowel troubles.

[Disco King]

[FoolofaTook]

[buzzard]

There's no way he's getting a good reading angle with the laptop in that position. Dishonest people don't deserve coral shorts.

[Disco King]

I put my arms around Mike Byrne and Nicole at the same time at the Owata shoot to get a photo with them. So it's like i was in a three way porn video!

[Joey Goldberg]

what is this person even insinuating here, that Nicole getting fucked by Billy somehow makes photos she takes with fans a "porno" lol? or better yet, that her & Mikey-baby were bumpin' it up?

[Joey Goldberg]

just some questions i was hoping would be answered in the remaster liner notes

[FlamingGlobes]

For my entire life, I've left bananas unprotected. Sitting on the kitchen counter like a toddler in the middle of the freeway. Of course I worried about them. How would the delicate peel shield these wonderful treats from the unpredictable mayhem of my kitchen? Hundreds of times I have taken a banana with me without so much as a paper bag to defend it. Actually, It was normal for people of my generation to even drive with a banana riding shotgun, unbuckled. I cringe when I think about it. Since buying the banana bunker (yellow of course, holla!) I transport bananas with reckless abandon. I throw my bunkered bananas at co-workers, neighborhood kids and passing cars. Everything I always wanted to do with a banana, but feared for the bananas integrity, I am able to do now. I think everybody should have one. Mother's Day shopping just got a heck of a lot easier! Thank you, Banana Bunker!

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by Joey Goldberg

just some questions i was hoping would be answered in the remaster liner notes

Archaeologists current hypothesis is that the archived post in question wasn't the original topic post of the thread. The thread title was authored by one user, and this particular post another.

Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes

This is the best one in the thread.

[Disco King]

I do fantastic things all the time, I just don't want to lower myself to posting my deeds on this board. I will recount one day in my life to give you a sample.

6 AM- Woke up. Ate two full boxes of cereal in a bowl full of wasabe instead of milk, then beat superman in a race to the heart of Africa, after which I cured all cases of AIDS there by power of my mind alone.
10 AM- Journeyed to the center of the earth as commanded by god, and destroyed the race of magma hombres who were.. probably evil.
1 PM- Engaged in thoughtful discussion with the pope during which I led him into a contradiction forcing him to admit that jesus was in fact the devil.
3 PM- Checked netphoria and settled all arguments once and for all with a single post of 5 words.
4 PM- Won an international male-on-male ice skating competition partnered with Brian Boitano. Later found out that male-on-male ice skating is gayer than regular ice skating.
6 PM- Was awarded my daily Nobel Peace prize for once again deciding to not destroy the world.
8 PM- Wrote a best-selling novel using only 1-letter words.
11 PM- Slayed a pack of dragons on the way to get a haircut.
12 PM- Went to sleep strapped to a cross with both eyes open, dreaming of deeds even greater than those I'd done.

[Shallowed]

Hello guys I thought it would be a fun story to share.

Yesterday I watched an episode of the show cold case, which is based on unsolved murders and will show flashbacks of the victim with the last contact they had, once the murderer was caught the song "Tonight Tonight" played which was stuck in my head and I decided to Shazam the song and do some research on the band. I couldn't believe that Billy Corgan was a rock star before he dived into the wrestling business being a booker.

[Disco King]

obviously i can't sleep.

i always think about killing myself in the bathroom. at first i was thinking of doing the hot bath, slit your wrists deal but that's kind of a teenage girl way to kill yourself. I was thinking that I want a forensic team to be cleaning blood off the walls for hours. just slash my wrists and cover the whole thing in blood, then take a magnum or something, sit in the bathtub and blow my fucking head off. that's one thing I figured I needed to do, i bet no one would even notice i was dead for two weeks if i did it silently.

sometimes I think it would be a good idea to get a noose and tie it around the balcony railing at one end and wrap the noose around my neck at the other and then jump off, snapping my neck. That could just end up being embarassing when it doesn't work, and i want to make sure i kill myself the first time i attempt it.

then i also think about how i'd go down in history if i took a bunch of people with me. like if i sat down in a restaruant and then just started opening fire. Or if I assassinated a prominent person. I'd be famous forever.

[Disco King]

i see a lot of girls in webcam videos and i'm still just as intimidated as if they are in still pictures

just wish one would talk to me...

[Shallowed]

An intense music related moment was stealing Led Zeppelin's Physical Graffiti from the local library while tripping. I'm talking about the big ass old vinyl album here, kind of like analogue file sharing I guess, well maybe not. Anyway this wasn't the kind of thing I did and I'd not gone there to steal anything at all, basically I'd been tripping for a couple of hours at home and started to feel a bit twitchy so I thought why not go to the library, it's nice and calm there. So that's what I did, and it was really quiet, just me and some old lady putting books on shelves. I just mooched around trying to keep my equilibrium, decided to flip through the albums and that's when I came across Physical Graffitti, and it was fascinating - all the little windows on the cover were cut out so you could see the printed inner sleeve underneath, I was just playing with it, I couldn't put it down and then I just had this overwhelming urge to take it home. I didn't have a bag or a coat to hide it under so I literally just held it both hands and walked out the library. I got outside and started to walk away down the road when I heard the little old lady shouting at me to come back. Turning round I was surprised and somewhat shocked to see her decide to give chase - though hampered by obvious arthritic limbs. So I panicked and tried to run but was way too fucked to do that so I just kind of stumbled down the street. And this is where the whole thing took on an incredible nightmarish quality as the adrenaline surge and acid gave me over the top tunnel vision which made the street seem to elongate into the far far distance, even worse the old ladies shouts turned into an eerie shrieking. As hard as I tried I just couldn't get to the end of the road, my escape would just not get any nearer, and the awful shrieking would not stop.
Of course eventually the corner loomed into view, I zig-zagged through a car park and disappeared into a park still clutching the damn album.

The thing is this was decades ago and yet every so often I get the strange feeling that she's still out there somewhere giving chase & slowly athritically getting closer. Of course she will have died many many years ago but somehow that makes the feeling worse, much worse.

[slunken]

You spelled arthritically wrong because you're fucking dumb

[smashingjj]

again with the humour, man I miss you posting here more like you did

[FoolofaTook]

I remember when he spelled pierogis wrong and I corrected him.


I also remember when I tricked him into thinking I like second wave norwegian metal.


Hahaha, what a loser! You are a loser, Sluken! Fuck you!

[FoolofaTook]

And for good measure, fuck you too Smashingjj! Fuck you too!!

[FoolofaTook]

You too, Shallowed. FUCK YOU!!!

[FoolofaTook]

AND DISCO KING FUCK YOU FOREVER

[FoolofaTook]

We're back! I take back all those fuck yous. I love you all!!!

[yo soy el mejor]

My big gift from my parents was a brown leather Kate Spade purse:
[IMG]http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k18/s******/DSC02477.jpg[/IMG]

Some clothes from Banana Republic:
http://www.bananarepublic.com/Asset_...1-01p01v01.jpg
in brown with black underneath and a black ribbon (MUCH cuter in the brown)
http://www.bananarepublic.com/Asset_...2-00p01v01.jpg
http://www.bananarepublic.com/Asset_...1-00p01v01.jpg
an off-white tie-front cardigan
a black wool short-sleeve cropped cardigan
a pearl necklace
a black wool coat

Dress from Ann Taylor:
http://fp.anntaylor.com/@v=0148@/Ima...2785_6600l.jpg

My big gift from my grandfather was a black leather couch and chair:
http://www.ikea.com/PIAimages/51547_PE151337_S3.jpg
http://www.ikea.com/PIAimages/62977_PE170241_S3.jpg

Stocking stuffers and assorted other things:
toe socks!
[IMG]http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k18/s******/DSC02469.jpg[/IMG]
underwear
[IMG]http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k18/s******/DSC02480.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k18/s******/DSC02475.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k18/s******/DSC02474.jpg[/IMG]
jewelry box
lots and lots of socks
lotions and body washes from Bath & Body Works
glass nail file
eyelash comb/eyebrow brush
lots of candy (primarily from Germany)
lipglosses
umbrella
Kate Spade sunglasses
lotions and body splashes from Victoria's Secret
black velvet pajamas from Victoria's Secret
mascara
Bob in a Box
engraved stocking hanger
various DVDs
ballet ornament
star ornament
snowman ornament
Bath & Body Works gift card
Blockbuster gift cards
Starbucks gift card
face cloth
Foreman grill sponge

Me and Mike...

Nebraska ornament
[IMG]http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k18/s******/DSC02478.jpg[/IMG]
New Home ornament
multi-cultural Santa ornaments
wine-scented candle thingy
one-touch can opener
Pasta Express
photo albums with assorted professional photos of our favorite bands
Smashing Pumpkins framed poster
picture frames
Waterford ornaments and tree topper
coasters
decorative pillows
decanter
old black Mexican nativity set (from my grandmother's collection of old stuff)
framed painting and art supplies (belonged to my aunt who was an artist)

Mike...

flat-screen monitor
Rangers jersey
assorted Star Wars stuff
poker game
20 questions music game
Deal or No Deal game
Kenneth Cole clothes
assorted DVDs
plane tickets to NYC
a hotel for three nights in NYC
a cruise around Manhattan
tickets to see Chicago on Broadway
tickets to see a Rangers game at MSG
enrollment in a microbrew beer of the month club
penguin adopted in his name (came with a stuffed penguin)
martini ornaments
penguin ornaments
Best Buy gift cards
Cheesecake Factory gift card
Starbucks gift card
Old Navy pajamas
lots of candy (primarily from Germany)
Survival Kit from God
beer soap
car organizer
engraved stocking holder
flying monkey
screen cleaner thingy

[FoolofaTook]

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

lotions

[slunken]

lol shallowed you fucking dummy

[FlamingGlobes]

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

My big gift from my parents was a brown leather Kate Spade purse:
[IMG]http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k18/s******/DSC02477.jpg[/IMG]

Some clothes from Banana Republic:
http://www.bananarepublic.com/Asset_...1-01p01v01.jpg
in brown with black underneath and a black ribbon (MUCH cuter in the brown)
http://www.bananarepublic.com/Asset_...2-00p01v01.jpg
http://www.bananarepublic.com/Asset_...1-00p01v01.jpg
an off-white tie-front cardigan
a black wool short-sleeve cropped cardigan
a pearl necklace
a black wool coat

Dress from Ann Taylor:
http://fp.anntaylor.com/@v=0148@/Ima...2785_6600l.jpg

My big gift from my grandfather was a black leather couch and chair:
http://www.ikea.com/PIAimages/51547_PE151337_S3.jpg
http://www.ikea.com/PIAimages/62977_PE170241_S3.jpg

Stocking stuffers and assorted other things:
toe socks!
[IMG]http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k18/s******/DSC02469.jpg[/IMG]
underwear
[IMG]http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k18/s******/DSC02480.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k18/s******/DSC02475.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k18/s******/DSC02474.jpg[/IMG]
jewelry box
lots and lots of socks
lotions and body washes from Bath & Body Works
glass nail file
eyelash comb/eyebrow brush
lots of candy (primarily from Germany)
lipglosses
umbrella
Kate Spade sunglasses
lotions and body splashes from Victoria's Secret
black velvet pajamas from Victoria's Secret
mascara
Bob in a Box
engraved stocking hanger
various DVDs
ballet ornament
star ornament
snowman ornament
Bath & Body Works gift card
Blockbuster gift cards
Starbucks gift card
face cloth
Foreman grill sponge

Me and Mike...

Nebraska ornament
[IMG]http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k18/s******/DSC02478.jpg[/IMG]
New Home ornament
multi-cultural Santa ornaments
wine-scented candle thingy
one-touch can opener
Pasta Express
photo albums with assorted professional photos of our favorite bands
Smashing Pumpkins framed poster
picture frames
Waterford ornaments and tree topper
coasters
decorative pillows
decanter
old black Mexican nativity set (from my grandmother's collection of old stuff)
framed painting and art supplies (belonged to my aunt who was an artist)

Mike...

flat-screen monitor
Rangers jersey
assorted Star Wars stuff
poker game
20 questions music game
Deal or No Deal game
Kenneth Cole clothes
assorted DVDs
plane tickets to NYC
a hotel for three nights in NYC
a cruise around Manhattan
tickets to see Chicago on Broadway
tickets to see a Rangers game at MSG
enrollment in a microbrew beer of the month club
penguin adopted in his name (came with a stuffed penguin)
martini ornaments
penguin ornaments
Best Buy gift cards
Cheesecake Factory gift card
Starbucks gift card
Old Navy pajamas
lots of candy (primarily from Germany)
Survival Kit from God
beer soap
car organizer
engraved stocking holder
flying monkey
screen cleaner thingy

I feel like you could stack every Xmas haul I ever had on top of one another, and I still wouldn't come close to topping this list. It blows my mind when people, like, get stuff for Xmas.