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04-18-2008, 11:21 PM | #1 |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
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Contest: find the weirdest match.com person in your area
and post their profile here.
That's right, we need to make fun of lonely losers. You know, other than the ones already on this board. |
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04-18-2008, 11:22 PM | #2 |
Minion of Satan
Location: ¯\(º_o)/¯
Posts: 8,658
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sean did this better
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04-18-2008, 11:23 PM | #3 |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
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oh yeah WELL GET ON A PLANE AND GO SUCK HIS BALLS
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04-18-2008, 11:53 PM | #4 |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
|
Definitely not "weird" but a good example of all the broads around Seattle:
http://pictures.match.com/pictures/42/21/49164221A.jpeg Me: Too fabulous for words, but, if forced to articulate my attributes, I'd have to say creativity, ambition, individualism, moxie, and sardonic sense of humor rank at the top. Am I humble? Absolutely not, but neither are you. I am only interested in knowing people who can fully appreciate me - to do that, you'll be discerning and equally confident, strong but never controlling (nor do you feel the need to be), and able to level me with just a glance. I am a political writer/contemporary military historian (no, I am not pro-military...I could probably most aptly be described as a bleeding heart liberal) and am unarguably happiest when surrounded by stacks and stacks of (good) books. I work like a maniac and play even harder, and am always up for just about anything. You: Absolutely fabulous. Wicked smart, brilliant to be exact, devastatingly handsome, absolutely hysterical, nonconformist. P.S. If you like Bill O'Reilly, don't even bother. "Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps down new roads armed with nothing but their own vision. Their goals differed, but they all had this in common: that the step was first, the road new, and the response they received - hatred. The great creators - the thinkers, the artists, the scientists, the inventors - stood alone against the men of their time...but the men of unborrowed vision went ahead. They fought, they suffered, and they paid. But they won." –Ayn Rand About me |
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04-19-2008, 12:03 AM | #5 |
Minion of Satan
Location: Well, if it isn't my old friend, Mr. McGreg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!
Posts: 6,411
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That was pretty hilarious, after reading a few sentences I was completely expecting a reference to ayn rand, and without fail there it was. I actually admire a lot of things about ayn rand, but people who turn into pompous fucks after reading atlas shrugged are unbearably ridiculous.
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04-19-2008, 12:06 AM | #6 |
Immortal
Posts: 26,795
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im bringing casey's automatic weapons next time i come see you. not for you, but for THEM. do you think they will be easy to find? from rooftops? drive-bys?
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04-19-2008, 12:08 AM | #7 |
real estate cowboy
Location: if Monsanto and Purdue Pharma had a baby
Posts: 36,879
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HAH |
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04-19-2008, 12:16 AM | #8 |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
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04-19-2008, 12:16 AM | #9 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Location: yeah seriously i think we've more than established a consensus on reality, it's not that abstract.
Posts: 3,454
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lol at quoting Ayn Rand in your "About Me."
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04-19-2008, 12:20 AM | #10 |
Immortal
Posts: 26,795
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man. i really miss pam alot. do you see her often? im bummed i didnt get to see her when i was up there for that longer stay. i wanna come up again in the summer.
i dont even have a picture of her. do you have any of her per chance? not to beat off to or anything. i just miss seeing her tons. everytime i go to the book store i get sad she isnt there anymore. |
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04-19-2008, 12:28 AM | #11 | |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
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Quote:
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04-19-2008, 12:30 AM | #12 |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
|
I've moved on to The Stranger personals because these chicks are better.
http://thestranger.selectalternative...d3757fb3cf.jpg Wanna thumb wrestle? You: Give a shit about something, anything--make something cool, save the world, drink with gusto, love your grandma, SOMETHING! There is no excuse for being boring--the world is way to interesting and complicated to warrant it. For reals though--get creative, bitches! Me: I'm bright, funny, sexy, capable, kinda loud, passionate, active, kind, interesting, a bit kooky. I have hella love for the people and the world and don't even have to be drunk to say "Dude, no really, I love you, man." Recently left my woman of 7 years to get on with the business of livin' and I'm ready for a change of pace. I am back on the penis and need me a little springtime action. Equally comfortable in a hot mini skirt or trashed Carharts. I love my job, my friends, my dogs, food and cooking (I'm damn good at it) and Jameson on the rocks. I think I'm pretty much awesome, maybe you will too! Disponible en espanol |
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04-19-2008, 12:41 AM | #13 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Location: wicked witch of the west coast
Posts: 1,480
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i looked and i just started feeling bad for all the nerdy dudes. though all the guys on the stranger are pompous artsy jerks.
oh i hope this link works: http://thestranger.selectalternative...=oid%3A1449677 |
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04-19-2008, 12:43 AM | #14 | |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
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Quote:
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04-19-2008, 12:49 AM | #15 |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
|
http://thestranger.selectalternative...43c3db718b.jpg
boo ya I am a human, a feminist, and an astronaut. I am 100% Mongolian. Movie genres that I enjoy are Drama, Romance, and Sci-Fi. I love basking at the beauty in the world around me. I love going to the beach and watching a beautiful sunset and listening to the soothing sound of the waves against the water. I am a hopeless romantic. I love being in love. It is the most ostentatious and profound feeling on the planet and the universe. I believe in the power of love. Love can overcome any obstacle that comes its way. It lasts eternally. I am an eternal optimist. Some people may say that at times I can be overly maudlin or euphoric, but I say that I am one of the most intellectual, beautiful, expressive, and deepest women on the planet. Maybe in the universe. I am one in a million. I am the brightest, most glowing diamond you will discover in a cave full of many. I am deep. Like, 20,000 leagues. If you are unable to appreciate the intensity in which I lead my life I probably don't want to know you. When I am not busy with school and work, I enjoy indulging in crack cocaine sessions with my dearest friends, skydiving naked, swimming with dolphins in the pacific in my most natural state, and playing cello without wearing clothes.. We should all just be naked, all the time. ps. i'm not mogolian Deeper What songs would be on the soundtrack of your life? pussy What's something you want to do but haven't? furry sex One book everyone should read is: the bible. Fill It Design your ideal mate: the brain of vin diesel and the body of a man without a body My guiltiest pleasure is ... are mandy moore movies The quickest way to my heart is left boob The quickest way to my bed is reading to me out loud gay lord of the ring fan fiction And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked with cock Great sex calls for lots of monica It's Sunday morning at 10 a.m. If I'm not still sleeping, I'm dreaming of you baby When I die, I believe I will go stamp collecting For delicious results, add one part sugar and mix it with one part spice |
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04-19-2008, 12:53 AM | #16 |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
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God... I hate every fucking person in Seattle.
http://thestranger.selectalternative...5629f13904.jpg http://thestranger.selectalternative...b54d31ea2d.jpg http://thestranger.selectalternative...ee1e7514c2.jpg http://thestranger.selectalternative...48012f8ffa.jpg Blah, blah, blah! Describing oneself has always struck me as rather narcissistic. Basically its the opportunity to ramble on about bullshit regarding ones life that may or may not be fact or fiction. You're supposed to be entertaining yet personal, but not too personal! I guess that would be me; im blunt. I hate pretension, yet am told i come off as pretentious. I am a highly skeptical individual. Despite all this however I am human and do enjoy my passions and good times. I will save these things for you to find out about ;-)! Deeper If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, who'd be coming? Johhny depp, Sean connery, Trent Reznor, and malcom x. Where are your local haunts? CHAC, dillatant, saitos, the baltic room. volenteer park, gasworks park What kind of person are you attracted to? Prefferibly people in my age range ( 22-35). I like men who are in shape and adventurous who have active imaginations and lives. Intellect is essential. I adore affection, passion and lust. A man who has good style and takes care of himself is a must. Someone with little to no hang ups who i can have a good time with rather than dealing with their immaterial baggage! What songs would be on the soundtrack of your life? asilos magdalena- the mars volta, Neostatasis- subtractive lad, Atomantage- gridlock, Chasm- implex and mav, the end of time- ben sage, Epiphony -staind; truthfully i could go on for decades. Music is possibly the best thing in my life right now and there are no limits to any style or artist that i will fall in love with. What's something you want to do but haven't? Hangliding, visit brazil, etc. If I could change one thing about Seattle, it would be: lack of a lightrail One book everyone should read is: 1984, it is a necessary read in times such as these. One movie everyone should see is: bladerunner Fill It I consider myself an open-minded person, but my deal breakers are Morons and the closed minded Design your ideal mate: the brain of Albert Einstein and the body of Johnny depp I want to make a t-shirt that says If you can read this, please go away! Something I said I'd never do but did anyway was post on the stranger My guiltiest pleasure is online shopping, nordstroms, sushi and fair trade organic chocolate ;-) Great sex calls for lots of biting, asphixiation, different posistions, and energy! It's Sunday morning at 10 a.m. If I'm not still sleeping, I'm jogging |
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04-19-2008, 12:58 AM | #17 |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
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nice... dorks my age trying to find a date...
http://thestranger.selectalternative...92223892f4.jpg http://thestranger.selectalternative...f2cb7c4d26.jpg UTILIKILT!!!!!!!!!!! http://thestranger.selectalternative...335f2fb675.jpg Bookworm Adventurer 'a bookworm adventurer who can say "brains" and "guts" in 27 languages...' (if you know where that quote came from without resorting to google, you have a leg up.) I'm a NW guy next door who originally escaped from Phoenix. I love technology and my job lets me play with plenty of cool toys. I am one with my geekiness but it doesn't mean I play video games all day, to the contrary I'd rather do something fun with the people I care about. I am: smart, funny (sometimes dark or filthy sense of humor), shy at times, happy, good listener, honest, independent, enjoy my work, well read and sensual. I'm loyal to my friends and a majority of them are women. Physically: tall, in shape, size 11 feet, not graceful but not clumsy, no supermodel but more like Clive Owen. I like who I am. I like: to paint (canvas, walls, etc.), hiking, biking ,cooking, reading (thought provoking non-fiction, graphic novels aka comics, scifi/fantasy, research, cereal boxes), seeing bands play (national and local), invent things, watching favorite TV shows (like ER, Battlestar Galactica, Heroes, House, The Closer, Southpark), traveling, swimming/working out, play board games with friends, good movies, see inspired art, good food, volunteer in the community. Also pretty handy, been known to build things from scratch. furballs: I have one tremendously cool cat named Geddy. He is a character and gets along well with other animals (and most people). you are: intelligent, have a sense of humor, not self absorbed, wonder at the universe, enjoy sci-fi/fantasy, love creating interesting ideas that may or may not make sense, aware of your impact on the world. You see beauty in many ways. Deeper If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, who'd be coming? Émilie du Châtelet, Albert Einstein, Janeane Garofalo and Richard Dean Anderson Where are your local haunts? Hatties Hat, Triangle Cafe, People's Pub, Sunset Bowl, Viking Tavern, Elysian, Matador, The Sloop My radio dial is usually tuned to: my ipod. Fill It I consider myself an open-minded person, but my deal breakers are ignorance and liars Something I learned from the last person I dated is to enjoy the simple pleasures If I could take back one thing I said this week it would be what happened to your hair! Design your ideal mate: the brain of Tina Fey and the body of Lisa Loeb (or vice versa) I want to make a t-shirt that says Enslave Ballard My idea of a great date is talking and laughing When stuck in gridlock I go crazy and start singing My guiltiest pleasure is bacon, bacon, bacon The first section I turn to in the Stranger is Savage Love The quickest way to my heart is sincerity The quickest way to my bed is passionate kisses And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked with bacon The last show I saw was 14/48 Great sex calls for lots of touching and passion It's Sunday morning at 10 a.m. If I'm not still sleeping, I'm snuggling or reading When I die, I believe I will go to the compost pile of life One sport I will never get is Golf When I was a kid, I actually owned a purple bicycle |
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04-19-2008, 01:00 AM | #18 |
Pledge
Posts: 218
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size 11 feet lol
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04-19-2008, 01:06 AM | #19 |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
|
http://thestranger.selectalternative...21c6ebf1bd.jpg
I want to make a t-shirt that says TEXTOSTERONE (my men's book club) |
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04-19-2008, 01:16 AM | #20 |
*sigh*
Posts: 8,845
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why are you on match.com to start with |
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04-19-2008, 01:18 AM | #21 |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
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04-19-2008, 01:24 AM | #22 |
Immortal
Posts: 26,795
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3 way sex, double dongs, tarps, baby oil. garment humping. cum gargling.
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04-19-2008, 01:29 AM | #23 |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
|
http://thestranger.selectalternative...cc593ecef6.jpg
http://thestranger.selectalternative...365a062dfc.jpg http://thestranger.selectalternative...8bedade190.jpg It took me an awful long time to stop being embarrased by the "Geek" lable. Sometime after I hit 30 I decided to reclaim it. After all. The second ecumenical(probably spelled that wrong) council of the Holy Roman Church mistranslated several things in the conversion from Hebrew to Latin to English. It is not that the "Meek" will inherit the earth.. it is the "Geek" one little letter... changes ones whole outlook....Hebrew is such a difficult language anyway.... I'm just me. It has been a long journey. In high school I was not just a geek, I was a downright Nerd. The guy who in my high school class was voted class president and "most likely to succeed" currently is a stock boy at target. The kid that got stuffed into trash cans and was voted most likely to die in a computer related masturbation accident.. (boys can be cruel) manages 26 people on two teams and has the respect and trust of his Client Service VP... All in all I'll take my life. I'm moderately ADHD and have a tendency to obsess on projects. The upside is that it makes me very creative and I learn a lot of intersting things, the downside is I sometimes move on too quickly. Jack of all trades master of none. Life is never boring, just distracting at times. And that makes it all the more fun. What do I want? Such an open question such a small box. Not sure. Ending of a long term relationship in May of last year. Want to meet people and get out again. Tried OKCupid. Answered all 3502 questions availiable. According to them the nearest match within 100 miles is another old X now married. There has to be another intelligent, creative, stable, fun, geek loving woman out there that can deal with a man whos conversations can start silly switch to political, move to serious, end up at bizzare, and dash back to silly. Deeper What is something that people are surprised to find out about you? I brew my own beer, can make my own soap, make most of my own candles, can bake bread from memory, periodically make large batches of "chapstick" cuz it is 3 cents to make and paying $1.99 a piece ticks me off, and when the mood hits my own yogurt. Anyone wana learn how to make Meade with me? |
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04-19-2008, 01:30 AM | #24 |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
|
and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt and when the mood hits my own yogurt
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04-19-2008, 01:31 AM | #25 |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
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is it me or does he have a hard on with the cat
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04-19-2008, 01:32 AM | #26 |
Immortal
Posts: 26,795
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his toes are curling. he's really hard. those look like some sniggly britches too.
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04-19-2008, 01:34 AM | #27 |
THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!
Location: || MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID ROCK!!
Posts: 47,243
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holy shit, the prospect of online dating makes me unhappy. blather on about yourself and pretend you've got the world by the balls. call me old fashioned, but i think it'd to take a whole lot of failure before i end up resorting to that
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04-19-2008, 01:36 AM | #28 | |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
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Quote:
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04-19-2008, 01:41 AM | #29 |
Out fart the hottie!
Location: I have super gonorrhoea
Posts: 24,323
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it's not pretty. particularly the 30+ ones.
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04-19-2008, 01:44 AM | #30 |
THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!
Location: || MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID ROCK!!
Posts: 47,243
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i'm in that range in two years. i'm going to make an effort to not be home like this on next friday
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