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Old 12-17-2017, 12:17 AM   #1
fuzzyroes
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Default I just tossed a piece of firewood in the fire and...

a little sliver went straight up my pinky finger, beneath the finger nail. I can't get the fucking thing out as it's buried beneath the nail and it hurts in a weird way.

not sure what to do... It can't be good if that shit heals in there. But what am I supposed to do? rip off the entire nail?

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 12:45 AM   #2
butthurt
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Soak your finger in gasoline or diesel fuel for 20 minutes. After the soak, burn off any residual fuel with a match or lighter. Any possible contaminants or infection will burn off and you'll be good as new.

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 01:31 AM   #3
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I'll toss a piece of wood in your fire, fuzzy.

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 03:49 AM   #4
Corgan's Bluff
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A serious answer:

How to Remove a Deep Splinter Under the Fingernail

Items you will need

Warm water

Small bowl

1 tbsp. aking soda

Rubbing alcohol

Fine-tipped tweezers

Fingernail clippers

Sterile bandage

A splinter is any foreign body that becomes embedded under the skin. Splinters should be removed as soon as possible to decrease inflammation and reduce the risk of infection. Splinters that occur under the fingernail are particularly painful because there are many nerve endings in this area. Typically these splinters are removed by a health-care professional who will anesthetize the finger; however, a splinter under the fingernail that is not completely embedded in the skin can be removed at home.



Soak the finger for 10 minutes in a small bowl of warm water and 1 tbsp. of baking soda. Wash your hands with soap and water and dry thoroughly. Clean the tweezers and fingernail clippers with rubbing alcohol and allow them to dry.

Trim the nail where the splinter is located to allow better access. Clip a "V" shape in the nail, with the point of the V positioned over the end of the splinter.

Gently pull the skin at the end of the finger away from the fingernail. Grasp the end of the splinter firmly with the tweezers and slowly pull the splinter out. Place a sterile adhesive bandage over the tip of the finger. Keep the finger covered, except during cleaning, until the skin is healed.

Tip

Do not attempt to remove a splinter that is completely under the skin -- seek medical attention.

https://healthyliving.azcentral.com/...-12586198.html

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 04:07 AM   #5
teh b0lly!!1
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you drunk fuzz?

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 09:20 AM   #6
LaBelle
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That's a mental image I did not need.

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 10:16 AM   #7
FlamingGlobes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
you drunk fuzz?
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaBelle View Post
That's a mental image I did not need.
Welcome to Netphoria.

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 10:17 AM   #8
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fuzzy hasn't responded to this thread. I think it's safe to say he died from complications whilst trying to remove said splinter.

My money is on he passed out into the fireplace.

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 10:20 AM   #9
LaBelle
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Hopefully he went to the doctor, tbh.

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 10:22 AM   #10
FlamingGlobes
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Does fuzzy believe in medicine?

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 11:03 AM   #11
MarquisInSpades
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You could contract cancer because of this. Go to the doctor.

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 11:28 AM   #12
pavementtune
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Quote:
Originally Posted by butthurt View Post
Soak your finger in gasoline or diesel fuel for 20 minutes. After the soak, burn off any residual fuel with a match or lighter. Any possible contaminants or infection will burn off and you'll be good as new.
I fully support this. plan b: soak all of you in gasoline and then dive into your fireplace, that should work as well

I wonder why I can't find an ounce of empathy. oh wait. snowflake has a boo-boo, oh no!

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuzzyroes View Post
I'm a fan of Steve Bannon and believe in his cause

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 11:44 AM   #13
FlamingGlobes
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Ironically, Steve Bannon looks like he's suffering from sort of infection and has been sitting a little too close to heat sources lately.

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 01:13 PM   #14
ilikeplanets
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that's definitely not ironic!

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 01:21 PM   #15
FlamingGlobes
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Would you say it's iconic?

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 01:28 PM   #16
ilikeplanets
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i wouldn't say it's not

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 02:50 PM   #17
FoolofaTook
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FUZZWAD UR FATHER HURTS IN A WEIRD WAY

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 02:59 PM   #18
LaBelle
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Is the pinky the gayest finger?
I'm sorry if i'm being offensive, it was an honest thought that went through my head today.

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 03:25 PM   #19
ilikeplanets
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it depends on where you put it

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 03:27 PM   #20
LaBelle
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That was exactly the answer I was looking for and I didn't even know it!

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 04:07 PM   #21
FoolofaTook
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I think we all know which is the gayest "finger." Why do you think true men only watch lesbian porn?

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 04:12 PM   #22
LaBelle
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Most porn (probably something like 90%) is produced for men.
So "lesbian" porn typically don't ******* lesbians in them.

Just something to think about.

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 04:46 PM   #23
FoolofaTook
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So all the porn I've been watching has been a... lie?! Ashes and dust!

staggers off to find the nearest gallows

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 04:48 PM   #24
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Fuzzy we've been fooled.

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 04:56 PM   #25
LaBelle
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If it was real lesbians doing porn for lesbians. I might be into that.

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 06:01 PM   #26
ilikeplanets
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you wouldn't be able to see very much!

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 06:02 PM   #27
ilikeplanets
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but i understand what you're saying and find how very obvious their faking is to be a huge turn off

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 06:09 PM   #28
fuzzyroes
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Thanks Corgans bluff for the advice. I'll have to try that.

It doesn't hurt anymore though, I think I got most of it out. Would it really be that bad if I didn't get it completely out?

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 06:23 PM   #29
LaBelle
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Wha do you need 10 fingers for anyway?

 
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Old 12-17-2017, 06:23 PM   #30
LaBelle
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Before people correct me saying "people have 20 fingers"

TOES DON'T COUNT!

 
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