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Old 11-15-2017, 10:27 PM   #4591
redbreegull
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Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
4 weeks no weed for me.

i'm not even on some vendetta to not smoke, honestly, but still have been kinda persistently persevering and remaining insistent on not buying any weed and staying sober for a while. also, not drinking. went out the other night, drank a glass of beer... and that was it.

it's like i tell myself it's ok if i do decide to do it, yet choose to abstain. there's definitely an undercurrent to this but i'm not sure what it is atm.
when I was on my no weed kick last summer, it just became habit after awhile and I found there was a small inherent reward in exercising the self-control it took to not smoke, cause smoking would have been easier. Doing the harder thing seemed to innately feel good even though there was no serious pressing reason I couldn't have a toke here or there

 
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Old 11-15-2017, 10:39 PM   #4592
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i feel lowkey blessed in that i don't like weed. it doesn't make me hungry, doesn't really even make me feel good. it kinda feels like caffeine for me. and i hate caffeine

 
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Old 11-15-2017, 10:39 PM   #4593
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i feel lowkey blessed in that i don't like weed. it doesn't make me hungry, doesn't really even make me feel good. it kinda feels like caffeine for me. and i hate caffeine
not sure you are doing it right

 
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Old 11-15-2017, 10:48 PM   #4594
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i think you may have smoked oregano

 
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Old 11-15-2017, 10:51 PM   #4595
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i feel lowkey blessed in that i don't like weed. it doesn't make me hungry, doesn't really even make me feel good. it kinda feels like caffeine for me. and i hate caffeine
i'm sure you're used to the peer pressure/jabs above and don't need me to tell you to ignore that shit. i smoke, but i would never laugh at someone for not smoking.

i super-admire people who abstain from everything, though. it just seems so badass and brave to only ever be yourself without drugs or alcohol.

 
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Old 11-15-2017, 10:52 PM   #4596
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in the words of seminal 90s rockers The Offspring

driving down to the barrio
going 15 mph cause i'm already stoned
give the guy a 20 and I wait in the car
he tosses me a baggy then he runs real far
I take a hit but it smells like a clove
oh fuck I got a baggy of oregano

 
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Old 11-15-2017, 10:53 PM   #4597
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omg lol

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 08:42 PM   #4598
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Originally Posted by Ram27 View Post
i feel lowkey blessed in that i don't like weed. it doesn't make me hungry, doesn't really even make me feel good. it kinda feels like caffeine for me. and i hate caffeine
serious question: are you inhaling?

you may not like weed, but it should be a very powerful feeling either way

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 08:44 PM   #4599
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Yeah it took (MELCHIZEDEK) me three tries. Like reprise said, I wasn't inhaling properly.

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 08:46 PM   #4600
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I am.so fucking broke I did my laundry in the tub. Now I've got the heating way up to dry my jeans. It's like a fucking sauna in here!!

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 08:46 PM   #4601
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Condensation on the windows and shit?

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 09:31 PM   #4602
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redbreegull View Post
when I was on my no weed kick last summer, it just became habit after awhile and I found there was a small inherent reward in exercising the self-control it took to not smoke, cause smoking would have been easier. Doing the harder thing seemed to innately feel good even though there was no serious pressing reason I couldn't have a toke here or there
+++

Resisting temptation builds self of steam

It's like a microhit 4 yur soulpower

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 10:59 PM   #4603
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lol at comparing abstaining to getting high

staying sober feels so good its like a drug maaan

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 10:59 PM   #4604
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it's called being proud of yourself or whatever. ain't no shame in that.

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:02 PM   #4605
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he compared it to a microhit

are you trying to be dense?

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:04 PM   #4606
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FoolofaTook View Post
Yeah it took (MELCHIZEDEK) me three tries. Like reprise said, I wasn't inhaling properly.
yeah i was smoking with my friend the first time and i was like i don't feel anything and he's like... well people think the change will be so big sometimes it's just a little different. but then he was like wait...

and then i learned to inhale and it was glorious

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:04 PM   #4607
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i just came in this thread to tell about the guy i bunked in the head with my elbow on the plane. he was in the seat in front of me and when we were de-boarding i stood up while he was still sitting and as i moved towards the aisle i felt myself hit him.

i instinctively gently grabbed the whole top of his head (to stabilize it?) and said "oh my gosh, i'm so sorry" and he laughed and said it was okay probably because i grabbed his head.

/chat thread

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:05 PM   #4608
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Originally Posted by FoolofaTook View Post
he compared it to a microhit

are you trying to be dense?
no, you are.

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:22 PM   #4609
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I don't know if I am proud of myself for being clean yet, it's just something I have to do. I'm proud I was able to do it but don't think I would have without there being a baby involved. Hopefully these years help stabilize me and let me learn more about life than the bottom of a bowl or rig and then I can be proud. I don't think I am explaining this right but whatever.

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:26 PM   #4610
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I am proud of throwing that pack of smokes away though. And I haven't gone back luckily. But I still miss getting royally fucked up and that gets in the way of being proud of my sobriety. It's still a new battle. I'll dream about getting high and wake up happy it was just a dream, though. /headdesk

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:28 PM   #4611
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i used to have dreams about smoking weed. i could never get high. either something would happen before i could smoke or i would smoke and nothing would happen.

then i would wake up. in jail.

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:28 PM   #4612
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it'll get better. i still dream about getting high sometimes, but usually i wake up before it happens or i get caught in the dream or otherwise keep missing out on getting it. and then sometimes i get drug tested in dreams and shit.

i often dream about smoking cigs though, usually i'm like fuck why am i smoking

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:31 PM   #4613
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my thesis is above 15,000 words now, 43 pages plus like 8 pages of references. a couple parts need some tweaking, and i need to totally re-do the conclusion and the abstract. but like it is 90% done. feels good.

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:33 PM   #4614
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ilp, you don't have to explain things to us or anyone when it comes to how you feel. you have every right to feel proud of yourself for every small step you make towards any goal you have.

i really do hope the best for you and your daughter. i know you don't want to let her down and so far you've done an excellent job of making sure you're the best mom you can be.

Last edited by yo soy el mejor : 11-16-2017 at 11:34 PM. Reason: for ilp

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:36 PM   #4615
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When I dream about getting high I really feel it. It's very fucking alarming to wake up and tell myself it didn't really happen. Maybe there's still chemicals floating around in my body or something. Or I just have the sensation memorized too well from all the years of drug abuse. It's not a pleasant experience because I only dream about getting high when I know I shouldn't be getting high.

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:36 PM   #4616
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that's awesome reprise

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:38 PM   #4617
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Thank you, yse-m. I appreciate that more than you know. I have to believe I'll find another way to be happy, besides the obvious joy that my daughter brings. You know, like an internal personal happiness. I never had to step up before and am relieved to know I did it. I'm not going to let her down and if that is the start of a good path than I love her even more for being born.

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:39 PM   #4618
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And damn reprise, you're gonna be such an awesome professional.

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:42 PM   #4619
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Yeah. Forensic psychology right? That's awesome.

 
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:53 PM   #4620
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i still dream about drinking all the damn time, 7 yrs off the sauce. can taste it and feel it in my scrote just like old times

 
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