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Old 07-05-2017, 11:12 PM   #121
FlamingGlobes
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Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
couldn't get hard (sorry)
God, Took's mom still mentions that to this day...

 
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Old 07-06-2017, 12:00 AM   #122
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what's the recreational value of opiates? like i know they were originally developed for pain relief...do you just feel really floaty and nice if you take a lot?
i mean you definitely feel nice. you dont even have to take much more than a regular dose. it's only when you get a habit that people start taking crazy doses. but anyway i wouldn't fuck with it my man. there's a reason people get addicted, and it can happen to you

 
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Old 07-06-2017, 04:30 PM   #123
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i took a big hit of benzos once that really fucked with me and i felt dazed for like 3 days later.

couldn't remember things, couldn't get hard (sorry), felt like i was hit by a train, was very groggy. definitely didn't enjoy that. i don't think opiates are for me
I am confused. Benzos and opiates are two different things? Did I read something wrong?

 
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Old 07-06-2017, 04:30 PM   #124
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I mean you might have a similar experience with opiates though

 
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Old 07-06-2017, 06:20 PM   #125
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what's the recreational value of opiates? like i know they were originally developed for pain relief...do you just feel really floaty and nice if you take a lot?
well tramadol is technically an opioid but not an opiate (I think) but it gave me a pretty nice floaty body high and feeling of wholistic contentedness and welbeing. The way my whole body felt warm and good was sort of like very mild mdma, and I stayed clearheaded. The 2nd night I noticed the same dose didn't get me as high and I was compelled to drink a beer which is a bad idea. Also it made my breathing really shallow and I had to focus on taking full breaths.

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I am confused. Benzos and opiates are two different things? Did I read something wrong?
Yes, they are totally different.

 
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Old 07-06-2017, 07:41 PM   #126
teh b0lly!!1
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I am confused. Benzos and opiates are two different things? Did I read something wrong?
nope, i just fucked this up and confused different things.

they were potent benzos (like, 2mg pills, about four times my usual dosage when i'm fending off perpetual depression) and i also drank pretty heavily and smoked with it. very bad idea.

 
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Old 07-06-2017, 11:44 PM   #127
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all the sufferers in this thread should get together and get SUPER FUCKING FUCKED UP AND FUCK EACH OTHER TO DEATH

 
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Old 07-06-2017, 11:47 PM   #128
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all the sufferers in this thread should get together and get SUPER FUCKING FUCKED UP AND FUCK EACH OTHER TO DEATH
hey. no. stop posting

 
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Old 07-07-2017, 02:52 AM   #129
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K

 
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Old 07-07-2017, 02:54 AM   #130
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I was including myself to be clear. And death was only metaphorical death after insane fucking. Also the fucking is metaphorical, not like reproductive sex.

I should go to bed

I have an addictive personality. Weed, food, booze, internet, buying books and comics

 
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Old 07-07-2017, 02:57 AM   #131
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TuralyonW3
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Old 07-07-2017, 03:02 AM   #132
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time for bed for all of us

 
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Old 07-07-2017, 03:09 AM   #133
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Get high and keep partying, you pussies.

 
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Old 07-07-2017, 03:10 AM   #134
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time for bed for all of us
Farewell goodnight last one out turn out the light

 
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Old 07-07-2017, 03:49 PM   #135
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so I told my therapist. she was pretty disappointed. she thinks I need to take my substance abuse more seriously wants me to try to do SMART, which is a 12-step alternative (based on science). I REALLY don't want to do it but maybe it will help, and I want my therapist to know I'm really serious about not doing it anymore. so when I agreed to look into it I was planning on blowing it off, but I've actually been researching a little.

last time I did pills was sunday. I feel pretty good about not doing them again. Although I got gas right after therapy and the gas station I went to sells fucking kratom lol. but I need self control. I was really not doing drugs because they weren't convenient, not because I truly don't want to do them. sure I could have made them more convenient, so it wasn't like i had no desire to not do them. but it's not the same thing.

 
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Old 07-07-2017, 06:36 PM   #136
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time for bed for all of us
Jeez man, way to use my new thread to let us know.

http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=185239

 
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Old 07-07-2017, 06:38 PM   #137
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so I told my therapist. she was pretty disappointed. she thinks I need to take my substance abuse more seriously wants me to try to do SMART, which is a 12-step alternative (based on science). I REALLY don't want to do it but maybe it will help, and I want my therapist to know I'm really serious about not doing it anymore. so when I agreed to look into it I was planning on blowing it off, but I've actually been researching a little.

last time I did pills was sunday. I feel pretty good about not doing them again. Although I got gas right after therapy and the gas station I went to sells fucking kratom lol. but I need self control. I was really not doing drugs because they weren't convenient, not because I truly don't want to do them. sure I could have made them more convenient, so it wasn't like i had no desire to not do them. but it's not the same thing.
I like your therapist's advice. If this is something you still think about as much as it sounds, then you definitely aren't over the hump yet.

 
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Old 07-07-2017, 06:40 PM   #138
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Do you guys ever hope that you'll know you're going to die like a month or two ahead of time so you can enjoy some rampant, unbridled, and worry-free drug use?

 
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Old 07-07-2017, 08:02 PM   #139
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I like your therapist's advice. If this is something you still think about as much as it sounds, then you definitely aren't over the hump yet.
I don't normally think about them. It's just lately, I was craving them - not even that strongly really. But when I got that opportunity, I knew I shouldn't do them, I talked to people and told them... but did it anyway. I could have called my therapist, but I didn't. I just wanted to do them and so I wasn't committed to telling on myself.

It's so dumb, I didn't even enjoy it, I wasted so much fucking money, it was risky as fuck. And now I feel bad about it of course.

I think the real issue, is I'm depressed again. Not as bad as I used to be... but worse than I have been in the past few years. I mean my therapist sees this too. And I'm afraid it'll never get better again. And I've been facing some things in therapy that are making it worse, but are necessary to talk about... and I just like, wanted to forget about it for a while. And having to cop drugs and then doing them is a great way to get your mind off anything else, lol.

I really don't think I'm in danger of getting addicted again. I would fucking jump off a building before I ever get dopesick again. But the riskiness, the danger, the complete shutting off of everything that matters in those few hours... feels good. I can't do it any other way, except sleeping. But I need to learn better ways I guess

 
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Old 07-07-2017, 08:10 PM   #140
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Well, you're more self-aware than most, but to say you don't think you'll get addicted again is kind of foolish seeing as how you fell off the wagon like, what, a week ago? That's pretty fucking scary from my perspective, coming from someone who seems to have been keeping herself in check pretty well in the last year or so (since I "met" you).

I don't pretend to know you as well as others, but I do worry about you from time to time. You are -- as far as I can tell from our limited interactions here -- a good, intelligent, compassionate person. I wish nothing but the best for you.

Just be careful, please.

 
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Old 07-07-2017, 08:25 PM   #141
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Thanks FlamingGlobes. Maybe I am foolish in this regard. What I mean is I don't think I'd get physically addicted again, not because it's impossible but because I would kill myself first. That's how adverse I am to it at this point. Relapsing here and there, while obviously not good, feels like a different animal than actually becoming a junkie again. Obviously it's a slippery slope though, and one could lead to the other. I guess what I'm trying to say is I would do what I'm doing now, telling on myself and getting support, and not die in darkness so to speak. I'm fairly confident in that I wouldn't hide it from my mental health team.

At the same time I obviously am an addict with limited self control around many substances. And if SMART can teach me to deal with impulsive decisions when confronted with easy routes of use, then I could use that, for sure. It just feels strange going into a program without being an "active addict" so to speak, you know what I mean? It always seemed like a last resort option of a currently addicted junkie. But it doesn't have to be, obviously.

You are good, intelligent, and compassionate too, btw. Also much funnier than me.

 
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Old 07-07-2017, 08:39 PM   #142
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Thanks for the kind words, really.

I've never been in your position before, and I certainly hope I don't come across as being judgmental. You may not be an "active addict," but is anyone really ever free of an addiction? Gotta keep fighting that good fight, staying a step ahead of yourself. I really think at least entertaining SMART as an option would be a good idea. Better safe than sorry, nawmean?

 
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Old 07-07-2017, 08:48 PM   #143
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Like, you say you'd kill yourself before that ever happened again and all I can think is Jesus, that is fucking scary. I hope it never comes to that.

 
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Old 07-07-2017, 08:58 PM   #144
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Thanks for the kind words, really.

I've never been in your position before, and I certainly hope I don't come across as being judgmental. You may not be an "active addict," but is anyone really ever free of an addiction? Gotta keep fighting that good fight, staying a step ahead of yourself. I really think at least entertaining SMART as an option would be a good idea. Better safe than sorry, nawmean?
For sure

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Like, you say you'd kill yourself before that ever happened again and all I can think is Jesus, that is fucking scary. I hope it never comes to that.
I don't think it will. For a lot of years I was convinced I was going to kill myself eventually, both during and after I was doing "active addict" stuff like stealing, copping every day multiple times, being dopesick every day. Now I'm pretty sure that danger is gone, assuming I have no other traumatic things happen that make my PTSD go crazy or get so depressed again that I am unable to work/leave the house. It is great that I was able to get out of that, but I wouldn't go through it again for any sustained length of time. Not worth it, too painful

 
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Old 07-08-2017, 07:40 AM   #145
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all the sufferers in this thread should get together and get SUPER FUCKING FUCKED UP AND FUCK EACH OTHER TO DEATH


just one last hurrah before we quit for good

 
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Old 07-08-2017, 12:46 PM   #146
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i'll pass.

 
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Old 07-08-2017, 03:40 PM   #147
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i have a whiz quiz i have to take by monday. as a favor to my future self i am quitting weed for the weekend to help me dilute the thc metabolites in my piss.

and it's sooooooo fuuuuucking booooorrrrriiinnggggggg

 
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Old 07-08-2017, 03:48 PM   #148
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You better get a friend's piss yo

 
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Old 07-08-2017, 03:53 PM   #149
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i've had negative UA's when i smoked the day before.

 
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Old 07-08-2017, 03:54 PM   #150
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really all you need is to drink a lot of water and eat vitamin B tabs

 
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