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Old 07-02-2017, 11:51 AM   #61
FlamingGlobes
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Really sorry to hear reprise. From the sounds of it, this is something you're super ashamed of and aren't too keen to do again. Maybe you had to fall into it one last time to get it out of your system?

I know you don't *need* advice, but try and continue looking forward and try not to punish yourself over the past. From the sounds of things, you have a good future ahead of you. The road is long and dark and seems daunting, but you will get there.

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 11:52 AM   #62
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Also, when my mom moved to Florida from Maine with her three cats, she got medication from the vet that helped them relax/sleep during the lengthy car-ride and everything was fine.

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 12:00 PM   #63
teh b0lly!!1
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fwiw , it's not like there's a code or etiquette for being a fucking lowlife drug dealer, but dragging (or making an attempt to drag) somebody who you KNOW is clean back into a habit, let alone somebody who has made progress that you respect, is just such a shitty thing to do.

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 12:05 PM   #64
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Yeah, I don't think anyone would argue that this isn't a guy who deserves to get his nuts curb-stomped.

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 03:06 PM   #65
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He just texted me asking me if I wanted anything. And I said no thanks and he said what about Thursday (which is the day we both get paid). I just told him that this is a big problem for me, and I have a lot to lose if I get caught or hooked again, and I need to step away.

I hate that I entertained the thought for like 2 seconds though. He just said "that's fine"

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 03:11 PM   #66
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FoolofaTook View Post
Reprise this dealer sounds real bad. You should stay away if you can.

Sorry to hear about the pills. But it was only a small slip up and you are sober again. You'll be ok. But I understand your anxiety. Sorry this is a really disjointed post. I am depressed myself.

What do you do to stay sober? Me I read.
Thanks took. I usually am good with therapy and studying but I've been losing grip on studying, slowly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes View Post
Really sorry to hear reprise. From the sounds of it, this is something you're super ashamed of and aren't too keen to do again. Maybe you had to fall into it one last time to get it out of your system?

I know you don't *need* advice, but try and continue looking forward and try not to punish yourself over the past. From the sounds of things, you have a good future ahead of you. The road is long and dark and seems daunting, but you will get there.
Thanks FG. I am not super ashamed, I wish I was more ashamed. I haven't told anyone in person yet though, so I'm sure I will be when I do (on Thursday most likely). I hope this was a one last time thing.

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fwiw , it's not like there's a code or etiquette for being a fucking lowlife drug dealer, but dragging (or making an attempt to drag) somebody who you KNOW is clean back into a habit, let alone somebody who has made progress that you respect, is just such a shitty thing to do.
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Yeah, I don't think anyone would argue that this isn't a guy who deserves to get his nuts curb-stomped.
He's not a dealer, just a drug addict. Too poor to be physically addicted, and unwilling to go to heroin. Which are the two things he has going for him. He didn't really know I was clean until the moment before he asked if I wanted anything. And to be fair I hinted that I wanted to get something. He asked if I could still get shit and I said nope, not for years. And I said I'd been itching for something lately though. And then he said he could hook me up. So he didn't just out of nowhere ask if I wanted anything. Regardless, I don't blame him at all. I feel like I would have asked him eventually anyway

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 03:12 PM   #67
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and now it's 3pm and i want drugs

i left work early because i've been feeling nauseated. my manager was not pleased.

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 04:28 PM   #68
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So begins the downward spiral.

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 05:03 PM   #69
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reprise85 View Post
He just texted me asking me if I wanted anything. And I said no thanks and he said what about Thursday (which is the day we both get paid). I just told him that this is a big problem for me, and I have a lot to lose if I get caught or hooked again, and I need to step away.

I hate that I entertained the thought for like 2 seconds though. He just said "that's fine"
do you think there was an element of this whole thing which was kind of a self-crucible, like you might have been testing yourself in terms of how far you would let yourself go? Just a total guess but sometimes I do shit like that with my own bad habits.

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 05:28 PM   #70
reprise85
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maybe. but really i'm just a drug addict.

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 05:28 PM   #71
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So begins the downward spiral.
possibly

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 07:51 PM   #72
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I think you should just cut ties with this dude Reprise. I know it's nice being reacquainted with an old friend and all, and you probably had fun but it's not gonna benefit you in the long run.

It might be hard to fathom or see clearly at the moment but you'll have far more fulfillment in the future if you just nip this in the bud and be done with the guy.

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 09:18 PM   #73
reprise85
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thank you fuzzy. you're right of course. i'mma have to delete/block him for my own good. it's too bad i can always find him again on facebook if i decide to be stupid. not like the old days where if you got a new phone # or whatever that was the end of it

how are you doing with the drinking?

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 10:45 PM   #74
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Ever seen Oxyana, Er'?



 
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Old 07-02-2017, 11:10 PM   #75
teh b0lly!!1
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i did








wait, it's more like actually

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 11:24 PM   #76
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Between that and watching bits of Intervention Canada when there's nothing else on, I am quietly confident that opiate addiction isn't on my horizon.

I suppose you do have to allow for the possibility that a crew of Tres Puntos will drop me onto a fire hydrant, severely injuring my back.

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 11:27 PM   #77
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is this some kind of a Batman reference?

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 11:39 PM   #78
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Close!

It was Blood In Blood Out.

 
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Old 07-02-2017, 11:40 PM   #79
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Spoiler alert.

 
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Old 07-03-2017, 12:39 AM   #80
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BIBO was one of my favorite movies as a teen. 🌹

 
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Old 07-03-2017, 08:24 AM   #81
reprise85
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buzzard View Post
Ever seen Oxyana, Er'?


thanks for this. no i haven't seen it, but i'm gonna watch it. i've seen lots of opiate documentaries though. you'd think i'd have learned. but it's really like a switch in your brain. i haven't done this for like 10 years.

 
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Old 07-03-2017, 08:28 AM   #82
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btw i got more pills last night.

i just texted my psychiatrist. my therapist is out of town. i'm gonna talk to him. i think it'll help.

right now i feel ok.

 
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Old 07-03-2017, 09:01 PM   #83
FlamingGlobes
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how are you doing with the drinking?
I'd like to hear an update on this as well. How's it going so far fuzzy?

 
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Old 07-03-2017, 09:02 PM   #84
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Originally Posted by reprise85 View Post
He's not a dealer, just a drug addict. Too poor to be physically addicted, and unwilling to go to heroin. Which are the two things he has going for him. He didn't really know I was clean until the moment before he asked if I wanted anything. And to be fair I hinted that I wanted to get something. He asked if I could still get shit and I said nope, not for years. And I said I'd been itching for something lately though. And then he said he could hook me up. So he didn't just out of nowhere ask if I wanted anything. Regardless, I don't blame him at all. I feel like I would have asked him eventually anyway
Well, naturally we are your friends (even if its just the internet/message board variety), so our first instinct is fuck that guy.

 
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Old 07-03-2017, 09:32 PM   #85
reprise85
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thanks FG

well my psychiatrist never called me back. he must have just forgot. i haven't "emergency" called him in a really long time, but in the past I've talked to him at like one in the morning without a problem reaching him. I'm actually not even worried, I'm sorta glad he forgot. I just want to talk to my therapist, really. I texted his assistant, she told me she told him and then at like 6pm said if he hasn't called you I'll remind him again, so I said thanks please do... and now it's almost 10. whatever. she even offered to get me in today to speak to him but i quite frankly can't afford it (lol) and i know he will harp on me about going to NA or whatever

tomorrow I'm going to a 4th of july thing and then my sister is coming in at like midnight so i need to go to ft lauderdale to pick her up

 
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Old 07-03-2017, 10:07 PM   #86
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Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes View Post
I'd like to hear an update on this as well. How's it going so far fuzzy?
Hey, thanks for the concern man. It's going good. I got drunk on Canada Day but was responsible, and then drank a 6 pack a handful of days before that and that's all I've drank in the past 16 days.

I know it's not full on straight edge, but It's not the approach I really wanna take. I suppose the goal is just drinking a little bit when the time calls for it and not when I'm by myself and bored.

 
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Old 07-03-2017, 10:08 PM   #87
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Originally Posted by reprise85 View Post
btw i got more pills last night.

i just texted my psychiatrist. my therapist is out of town. i'm gonna talk to him. i think it'll help.

right now i feel ok.
ahh that's no good You should flush em if you haven't done em yet. You've come too far!

 
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Old 07-03-2017, 10:18 PM   #88
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they are long gone of course. but i didnt do anything else today. tomorrow i have a place i'll be all day for the fourth. wed i have class and i won't do drugs before class. thursday i see my therapist. i think i'm ok

 
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Old 07-03-2017, 10:35 PM   #89
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lol he just fucking texted me saying sorry and if i still wanted to talk he's in the office. i think i'm just going to leave it at this point. would have been nice to talk to him earlier but now i'm just not looking forward to it whatsoever. i'm just going to have a good time tomorrow and light some fireworks and go in the pool and forget about this whole mess

 
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Old 07-03-2017, 10:36 PM   #90
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don't buy any more pills please

 
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