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Old 05-10-2021, 04:12 AM   #5581
Cool As Ice Cream
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be the shroom

 
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Old 05-10-2021, 05:05 PM   #5582
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that's the whole idea

 
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Old 08-01-2021, 09:26 AM   #5583
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let me just preface my recent experiences with tinder by saying that I should almost definitely not be using tinder right now and that I still have a fairly long way to go with getting my shit together before I would be appropriately ready to approach tinder

match #1 someone way out of my league, had a back and forth for a little bit with her getting more and more disappointed with me the more she found out about me. then she said she wanted to ask me a question but had to call me. so she called me, mentioned a reference to LSD on my profile, and asked me if I was able to get her any.

match #2 an interesting and very kind hearted woman, had a nice chat for a couple of days, tonight we had a video call for about four hours, which went well, but towards the end, she expressed that she isn't comfortable with dating anyone who is attracted to trans women.

 
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Old 08-01-2021, 11:03 AM   #5584
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I don't understand that at all.

Why would I care what else a person is attracted to, so long as the range of things they are attracted to includes me (and excludes children and animals, I guess)?

Like, I've heard some people say they wouldn't want a bi partner, for reasons. Bi, straight, pan… so long as she likes me specifically, I probably won't even remember what her full orientation is unless it comes up. Anything that entails "likes cis dudes," regardless of whatever else she also likes, will suffice.

 
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Old 08-01-2021, 11:13 AM   #5585
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I mean, I guess it shows how self-centered a person I am that I would fail to remember an important aspect of my hypothetical partner's identity.

I might get a well deserved slap in the face on her birthday, when I gift her with the right to fuck any man of her choosing without it being considered cheating, instead of the right to fuck any other person of her choosing. "You don't listen! You don't know anything about me!"

 
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Old 08-01-2021, 11:17 AM   #5586
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"Baby, that was going to be your anniversary present!"

 
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Old 08-22-2021, 03:28 AM   #5587
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what the fuck is wrong with people who start off all cordial and feigning interest in you, then out of nowhere, scornfully roast the absolute shit out of you, and then double down on it after you meekly laugh it off?

 
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Old 08-22-2021, 03:54 AM   #5588
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she doesn't even know that I have countless women throwing themselves at me every single day, and I could have any one that I want, whenever I want, but I don't because I know they're fake


 
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Old 08-22-2021, 12:07 PM   #5589
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It's hard out there for a pimp.

 
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Old 09-24-2021, 08:50 AM   #5590
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The other day I told my dad I'm returning to Medellin next month.

He arched his eyebrows and said, "So, back to Babylonia."




 
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Old 09-25-2021, 05:10 PM   #5591
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Itís next gen fri/sat/sun drunk thread at my house.

Had my teenage sonís friend have to give up on a rowing fundraiser because he was vomiting every two steps and really slow. My son calls and asks if he can come and sit at our house for a bit before going home because weíre apparently chill parents and our son can be honest with us about the night before. So Iím like uh yeah sure, and he arrives looking pale as a ghost with spatters of something all over himself and my sons like thanks Mum I gotta go back to the fundraiser bye. So itís just me and this hungover kid who doesnít want to go home. I gave him a packet of crisps and a bottle of ginger beer and told him to make himself at home in front of the TV and that I was going back to bed because I had planned to sleep in

Guys, I am a chill parent. Bet you never would have picked that

 
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Old 09-25-2021, 06:54 PM   #5592
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hahahaha nice well done vixnic

 
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Old 09-25-2021, 07:37 PM   #5593
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are you a chill parent on the inside?

 
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Old 09-25-2021, 10:10 PM   #5594
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When i was 13 my dad got me so drunk i passed out for 12 hours. I woke up the next day with vomit stuck to my face. My dad laughed at my hang over and said "now you know not to drink that much"

And i wanted to say to him, like in that 1980s Anti Drug PSA, "but i got it from you, dad!"

 
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Old 09-25-2021, 10:20 PM   #5595
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Originally Posted by Shallowed View Post
let me just preface my recent experiences with tinder by saying that I should almost definitely not be using tinder right now and that I still have a fairly long way to go with getting my shit together before I would be appropriately ready to approach tinder.
I have had much better luck on Fet Life

 
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Old 09-26-2021, 01:26 AM   #5596
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My understanding was always that FetLife is more of a social network, and it's frowned upon to use it as a dating site.

 
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Old 09-26-2021, 01:27 AM   #5597
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I mean, one woman did ask me out on it, but judging from her photo, it really did seem like she was lying about her age, which is kind of weird.

 
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Old 09-26-2021, 02:13 AM   #5598
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vixnix View Post
Itís next gen fri/sat/sun drunk thread at my house.

Had my teenage sonís friend have to give up on a rowing fundraiser because he was vomiting every two steps and really slow. My son calls and asks if he can come and sit at our house for a bit before going home because weíre apparently chill parents and our son can be honest with us about the night before. So Iím like uh yeah sure, and he arrives looking pale as a ghost with spatters of something all over himself and my sons like thanks Mum I gotta go back to the fundraiser bye. So itís just me and this hungover kid who doesnít want to go home. I gave him a packet of crisps and a bottle of ginger beer and told him to make himself at home in front of the TV and that I was going back to bed because I had planned to sleep in

Guys, I am a chill parent. Bet you never would have picked that
Thank you for your prosperous addition to the wed/mon/fri drunk drugs thread.

This is somehow one of the highest compliments you can get. Like being trusted by a wild animal. You sound like a real cool mom. "Welp here's a beer to get you through the shakes, bucket's over there if you need it, I'm goin back to bed. I'm not telling your folks but don't u lemme see u do dis shit again"

 
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Old 09-26-2021, 02:45 AM   #5599
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Ginger beer isn't usually alcoholic, but that doesn't detract from the cool mom points. Oy vey, I'm not looking forward to those years.

 
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Old 09-26-2021, 01:26 PM   #5600
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Yeah, people I know who had the kind of parents who who would be all like, "if you ever get wasted at a party, feel free to call me and I'll pick you up, because I'd rather you be safe than scared you'll get in trouble" seemed to turn out as healthy, well-adjusted people. I'm glad it seems as though you're that kind of mum.

Not that I was even cool enough to get invited to parties until my 20s, so this specific scenario never even arose for me. But like, my parents just had an authoritarian parenting style overall and would explode at me for the tiniest mistakes and kind of made me feel as though my worth was conditional on me being perfect, and now I'm a low-self-esteem, avoidant, anxious people-pleaser soyboy who is incapable of asserting himself. Also, I've become quite good at misleading people to avoid conflict. Like, if I legit shit the bed, I'll own up to it instead of lying about it because I don't want to be the kind of person who refuses to admit flaws like my narcissistic father, but if it's a mistake I'm sure I can hide while I frantically work to correct it before the other person notices, I'll opt for that and keep it a secret that it ever happened, which had led to many a great sitcom episode.

Then there's people like my one layabout roommate, who has rich parents who were way too permissive and who maybe told him he was a special little boy a bit too often, so now he's convinced that he will amount to great things despite spending all his time drinking, playing video games, owing me money, and looking ten years older than his true age while he tells people that he's "in finance" or in "pre-law" even though he flunked out of both of those. I was hit too much as a kid, but maybe some kids weren't hit enough.

 
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Old 09-26-2021, 05:36 PM   #5601
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It's never too late to start, really

 
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Old 09-26-2021, 09:19 PM   #5602
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My understanding was always that FetLife is more of a social network, and it's frowned upon to use it as a dating site.
well, yeah. I used it for sex

 
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Old 09-26-2021, 09:38 PM   #5603
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I thought it was unequivocally for sex. I can't imagine what kind of social gatherings would originate there. Bondage Fest 2021??

 
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Old 09-27-2021, 12:52 AM   #5604
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Quote:
Originally Posted by topleybird View Post
It's never too late to start, really
True. Everybody is somebody's kid. So, no matter what age you hit somebody at, you've never missed the opportunity to commit child abuse.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MyOneAndOnly View Post
well, yeah. I used it for sex
Based.

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Originally Posted by ilikeplanets View Post
I thought it was unequivocally for sex. I can't imagine what kind of social gatherings would originate there. Bondage Fest 2021??
There are cases in which somebody can get laid off of FetLife. For example, when one has the raw sexual energy and seductive powers of Sophie.

But for the most part, even though the community is based around mutual interest in kink, it's not really "for" sex.

The process you usually go through when getting involved in the kink community is signing up for FetLife and finding "munches" happening in your city on the forum for your city. Munches are discreet meet-and-greets in vanilla settings like coffee shops and pubs, where only the people attending the munch are aware of it's purpose (you won't be outed to the staff or other people attending the venue). This is where you get to know other people in the community and make connections. After getting to know people at a munch, you might ask to add them on FetLife.

FetLife itself is more analogous to Facebook than to Tinder. You add friends to keep in touch with them and learn about non-vanilla kink events happening in your city, like play parties, dungeons, workshops, etc. Yeah, you have a mutual interest in kink, but that's no different from having a mutual interest in hiking or salsa dancing. The same way you don't just go to a dance class to cruise for partners (though if you do find a sexual or romantic interest through a dance class, that's cool, too), you don't really go to a munch or go on FetLife to try to get a sex partner (though if that happens, also cool).

Like, I met other straight hetero dudes, and we were like, "hey, we're both interested in rope bondage and want to practice it; we'll practice on each other, because we'd rather know what we're doing before we try it on an actual sexual partner, instead of fumbling around and looking dumb in front of her." I've made acquaintances of all sorts here. Never fucked or went out with anybody, though. I haven't been active in the community for a long time, though, and I'm guessing that hasn't been all that active throughout the pandemic, anyway (hard to have socially distanced sex dungeons), so if I wanted to start going to events again, I'd probably have to go through the vetting process anew.

Last edited by Disco King : 09-27-2021 at 06:03 AM.

 
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Old 09-27-2021, 02:39 AM   #5605
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I mean...the few times I've used it, it ended in sex and not friendship, so I thought it was basically Tinder with a twist.

I think I'd be very awkward trying to learn about/discuss any of my kinks instead of just acting them out and then never talking to that person again. Plus, overexposure to the same topic kind of ruins the excitement for me.

 
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Old 09-27-2021, 06:14 AM   #5606
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Hmm, maybe it's a gendered thing. I mean, when you're a woman, you can pretty much use anything you want as Tinder, because few people are going to feel threatened or creeped out by you, and there's a high likelihood of getting positive responses. I mean, if you wanted to, you could probably go to a park and ask ten people if they want to have sex, and seven would say yes, whereas a man would get seven complaints to law enforcement.

Maybe they just tell us dudes "dude, don't use FetLife as Tinder" to try to decrease the number of men who make the site a less pleasant place to be by hitting up random profiles with "I'm gonna be your Dom Daddy from now on, you address me as Sir now >;-)." Since women are on average less weird and gross than dudes are, there's not really a reason to try to deter women from trying to get laid on FetLife in the same way.

That's my theory, anyhowz.

 
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Old 09-27-2021, 08:13 AM   #5607
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few people are going to feel threatened or creeped out by you
don't tell me that you of all people have never felt threatened by a woman.

 
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Old 09-27-2021, 09:00 AM   #5608
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In a sexual context? I've been made to feel uncomfortable experienced overtures I didn't know how to assert myself against, but I've never, like, felt like I was in danger of imminent bodily harm or felt the need to text one of my friends my whereabouts to increase the likelihood of my remains being found and identified. So, I wouldn't say I've felt "threatened" in that context.

But, like, in general? I mean, sure, I've felt threatened by women plenty of times. But it's likely a lot less frequent than how often women feel threatened by men.

 
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Old 09-27-2021, 01:49 PM   #5609
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Hmm, maybe it's a gendered thing. I mean, when you're a woman, you can pretty much use anything you want as Tinder
Agreed, and often even sites that you don't want to turn into Tinder somehow do. Like dude, I don't want dick pics with my automobile help or recipe tips. It's a double edged sword.

 
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Old 09-27-2021, 05:07 PM   #5610
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Also going to suggest you watch it when you say that if Sophie gets laid on FetLife it's because of raw sexual magnetism but if it's me then it must be because all creatures with a vagina will be able to. Boi, you don't even know me.

 
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