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Old 02-02-2017, 11:26 PM   #91
teh b0lly!!1
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Last edited by teh b0lly!!1 : 02-04-2017 at 01:43 AM.

 
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Old 02-04-2017, 01:44 AM   #92
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hey it's saturday morning and we're all in hell

merry christmas

what are you guys doing

 
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Old 02-04-2017, 01:56 AM   #93
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Originally Posted by reprise85 View Post
i was suicidally depressed for most of my life from 12-25ish, with times off
it is soul crushing
when it comes back just a little now it feels unbearable. but it's like the lobster heating up in water thing. you get used to it and all of a sudden you're about to jump off a building. i knew it was getting bad when i actually was researching methods in earnest like seeing which bridge had the highest success rate in my area and such. although back then i was much more into ODing but unless you have barbiturates it's so easy to fail. if i ever kill myself it will be jumping from height, or if i somehow had a gun it might be that instead.
There have been times where I'd look up suicide methods. Nothing as specific as clicking ads that say "local bridges are just waiting for you to jump off of them, find the one that's right for you!", but I'd look up the various methods and stuff.

Wouldn't want to jump in front of a train, because I feel like it would be really inconsiderate to cause a transit hold-up. Plus, it'd be kinda traumatic for the commuters and conductors.

Other methods (hanging, drugs, asphyxiation, gunshot), I was afraid I'd live through them and have brain damage and not be able to feed myself or something.

Jumping into a river, I just imagined becoming paralyzed by the water's surface tension, and then sinking in the cold water helplessly as my lungs filled. It doesn't sound like a pleasant way to go at all.

I guess a tall enough height would kill instantly, but, I dunno, those last few seconds of total fear... Also, that would be some mess to clean up. Leaving an intact body seems more considerate.

It was always just kinda ideas. Feeling like living would always outweigh anything else in my mind. It's usually not that I could point to specific reasons why I'd prefer to live, but it's probably just because wanting to live is kinda just the default anyway, and you don't always need reasons. It's when the reasons not to really build up that they would cancel out that baseline default, I would think.

 
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Old 02-04-2017, 02:06 AM   #94
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
hey it's saturday morning and we're all in hell

merry christmas

what are you guys doing
estamos en infierno

I don't wanna wait
for our lives terminado

 
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Old 02-04-2017, 02:12 AM   #95
teh b0lly!!1
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i'm just going to shut the fuck up about my suicidal-ness cause honestly even i'm fucking bored of myself at this point

 
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Old 02-04-2017, 02:46 AM   #96
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Old 02-04-2017, 02:48 AM   #97
teh b0lly!!1
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i just found the title of that funny so i posted it but then i watched it and this comment almost made me choke on my food laughing:

At 1:20 a guy walks in the door behind Steve and hears "deep deep depression" and is like"oh, bad time" and creeps back out

 
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Old 02-04-2017, 05:55 AM   #98
reprise85
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Disco King View Post
There have been times where I'd look up suicide methods. Nothing as specific as clicking ads that say "local bridges are just waiting for you to jump off of them, find the one that's right for you!", but I'd look up the various methods and stuff.

Wouldn't want to jump in front of a train, because I feel like it would be really inconsiderate to cause a transit hold-up. Plus, it'd be kinda traumatic for the commuters and conductors.

Other methods (hanging, drugs, asphyxiation, gunshot), I was afraid I'd live through them and have brain damage and not be able to feed myself or something.

Jumping into a river, I just imagined becoming paralyzed by the water's surface tension, and then sinking in the cold water helplessly as my lungs filled. It doesn't sound like a pleasant way to go at all.

I guess a tall enough height would kill instantly, but, I dunno, those last few seconds of total fear... Also, that would be some mess to clean up. Leaving an intact body seems more considerate.

It was always just kinda ideas. Feeling like living would always outweigh anything else in my mind. It's usually not that I could point to specific reasons why I'd prefer to live, but it's probably just because wanting to live is kinda just the default anyway, and you don't always need reasons. It's when the reasons not to really build up that they would cancel out that baseline default, I would think.
the most sure methods are violent (gunshot), messy (jumping), very painful (cyanide, immolation), or a combo. really barbiturates are the best way. i suppose hanging is kinda a middle ground but it's only moderately successful and still pretty painful unless you do partial suspension and get it perfect. inert gas is also a possibility, but you'd have to get a tank and mask etc

this is prob not the healthiest convo but i'm not suicidal right now

 
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Old 02-04-2017, 12:08 PM   #99
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
i'm just going to shut the fuck up about my suicidal-ness cause honestly even i'm fucking bored of myself at this point
Is it cathartic at all to talk about it? It helps me to self depreciate and call myself trash at times as a goof because my low self of steem

 
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Old 02-04-2017, 02:42 PM   #100
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Being at the threshold of where at 14 I vowed to end my being, I think at least for right now, I've decided I really don't want to die/kill myself. Life is shit a lot of the time. And I am lonely. And I am on this cosmic train alone rn. But I'm tired of playing the part of the victim who gets tossed around like a rag doll by the forces of the universe. I'm going kick the world in the balls. I'm going to fuck the galaxy for fucking me. Saturn, is that you looking over my shoulder and trying to predetermine my fate? Fuck you, you senescent ringéd cocksucker. no celestial backseat drivers welcome, I hold the reigns up in this bitch

http://bestanimations.com/Earth&Spac...nimation-3.gif

even when shit sucks I know there's always gonna be more weed and more spicy food around the corner and I intend on being here to indulge in it all. death is probably a black void of nonbeing and i'll be fucked if anyone or anything makes me choose nothingness over petting dogs, punching fascists, climbing mountains, sad sex, or smoking a bowl and lying down on the grass in the sunshine

 
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Old 02-04-2017, 03:04 PM   #101
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Why the fuck would you post that

 
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Old 02-04-2017, 03:05 PM   #102
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Seriously i cant even read that. I hate saturn. All these gas giant so called """"planets"""" are trash

 
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Old 02-04-2017, 03:17 PM   #103
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reprise85 View Post
the most sure methods are violent (gunshot), messy (jumping), very painful (cyanide, immolation), or a combo. really barbiturates are the best way. i suppose hanging is kinda a middle ground but it's only moderately successful and still pretty painful unless you do partial suspension and get it perfect. inert gas is also a possibility, but you'd have to get a tank and mask etc

this is prob not the healthiest convo but i'm not suicidal right now
violent physical action has a high risk of failure. a lot of people shoot themselves and do it incorrectly and end up with simple brain damage.

likewise, OD has a high likelihood of failure. Or worse. You could fail and wind up with a ruined liver or kidneys and then you'll have to continue living in a more miserable state.

I think the best bet is to jump from 100 ft or more onto concrete. The people who jump off bridges into water are stupid. Even Golden Gate jumpers sometimes survivie.

 
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Old 02-04-2017, 04:31 PM   #104
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all you have to do is shoot your brainstem, though. people do it incorrectly but if you know what you're doing it should be fairly easy. shotgun to your brainstem = death. maybe a slight possibility of being a vegetable if your next of kin forced you to stay alive. mine wouldn't

but anyway yeah jumping is good. but jumping from very high onto water is very successful, even if not as much as concrete, as long as you do it head first. but i wouldn't trust my instincts to not try to break the tension with my arm or something.

ODing on anything but barbiturates or a very high dose of opiates is dumb. those two shouldn't fuck up your organs if you fail. if you take enough barbiturates and don't get interrupted you will die within about 50 minutes, but you'll be unconscious in 10 mins or less

 
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Old 02-04-2017, 06:12 PM   #105
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Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie View Post
Seriously i cant even read that. I hate saturn. All these gas giant so called """"planets"""" are trash
they are planets though. I know they are different but that doesn't make them not planets. they might even have solid cores, in which case they are basically just like the rocky planets but with huge atmospheres.

what freaks me out is not saturn or jupiter, but the possibility of a massive, dark undiscovered body in the outer depths of the solar system

 
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Old 02-04-2017, 06:39 PM   #106
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i've always liked this movie


 
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Old 02-04-2017, 06:41 PM   #107
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this is a very cool Vice report on the Suicide Forest


 
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Old 02-04-2017, 06:49 PM   #108
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more on the Golden Gate as suicide spot.


 
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Old 02-04-2017, 11:10 PM   #109
teh b0lly!!1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redbreegull View Post
Being at the threshold of where at 14 I vowed to end my being, I think at least for right now, I've decided I really don't want to die/kill myself. Life is shit a lot of the time. And I am lonely. And I am on this cosmic train alone rn. But I'm tired of playing the part of the victim who gets tossed around like a rag doll by the forces of the universe. I'm going kick the world in the balls. I'm going to fuck the galaxy for fucking me. Saturn, is that you looking over my shoulder and trying to predetermine my fate? Fuck you, you senescent ringéd cocksucker. no celestial backseat drivers welcome, I hold the reigns up in this bitch

this is the kind of regeneration energy i had last year, and simply don't have anymore now.

i'm just tired.

 
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Old 02-04-2017, 11:15 PM   #110
teh b0lly!!1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie View Post
Is it cathartic at all to talk about it? It helps me to self depreciate and call myself trash at times as a goof because my low self of steem
it used to provide a bit of relief but now it's pretty much unbearable either keeping it inside or letting it out

 
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Old 02-05-2017, 10:57 PM   #111
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Originally Posted by scottytheoneand View Post
this is a very cool Vice report on the Suicide Forest

Yes, I watched this video a while ago and it stayed with me. Deeply disturbing in many aspects. Still think about it now and then.

 
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Old 02-06-2017, 04:45 AM   #112
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I really love reading about this subject, but I fail to understand dimensions, I understand 3 dimensions, but two? nine? I have no idea...

Quote:
Originally Posted by scottytheoneand View Post
i've always liked this movie
I was so shocked when I saw this movie

But it really made me think twice about suicide, like the guy who survived the impact, the water, the sharks

 
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Old 02-06-2017, 08:56 AM   #113
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I will welcome saturn in my life. Hopefully it will shake everything up

 
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Old 02-06-2017, 11:07 PM   #114
teh b0lly!!1
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i watched that suicide forest video. expected it to be way more disturbing.

i love japanese people though.

 
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Old 02-06-2017, 11:21 PM   #115
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yeah i did too. like ooohohhohoho he found a skeleton

 
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Old 02-06-2017, 11:22 PM   #116
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Originally Posted by LaBelle View Post
Yes, I watched this video a while ago and it stayed with me. Deeply disturbing in many aspects. Still think about it now and then.

this is also disturbing. A phone booth in japan that people visit to talk to the dead. Heart breaking to listen to. there are a lot of things that are disturbing about the japanese


https://www.thisamericanlife.org/rad...ng-before-i-go

 
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Old 02-06-2017, 11:30 PM   #117
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but what's most disturbing is that they go to great lengths to refrain from disturbing each other

hyuk hyuk

 
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Old 02-07-2017, 07:15 PM   #118
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https://scontent-dft4-2.xx.fbcdn.net...41&oe=593A5E3C

 
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Old 02-08-2017, 12:08 PM   #119
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i'm drunk and post sex and life still seems meaningless

 
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Old 02-18-2017, 11:01 PM   #120
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https://scontent.fdet1-2.fna.fbcdn.n...68&oe=59011BF2

 
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