Netphoria Message Board


Go Back   Netphoria Message Board > Archives > General Chat Archive
Register Netphoria's Amazon.com Link Members List Photo Album Mark Forums Read

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-26-2007, 11:57 AM   #1
???
Minion of Satan
 
???'s Avatar
 
Location: \(_o)/
Posts: 8,662
Exclamation hypothetical Q: what is the biggest animal you could take on with your bare hands

or rather, without conventional weapons? the tiger attack thread got me thinking. i mean, you could just be sitting in starbucks, minding your own business, when BAM, you've got a fucking siberian tiger up in your shit. this is serious people. i think, technically, a tiger/lion/bear would be an appropriate adversary in an arena/cage match situation, so long as you are able to roll to one side faster than the beast can pounce on you, then leap on its back and punch it in the back of the head or die trying. what do you think.

 
??? is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 12:01 PM   #2
Rockin' Cherub
Braindead
 
Rockin' Cherub's Avatar
 
Location: the amazing year 400 million
Posts: 18,194
Default

a particularly weak ant

 
Rockin' Cherub is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 12:06 PM   #3
tcm
Braindead
 
tcm's Avatar
 
Location: Le look de Corgan
Posts: 17,922
Arrow

a beached blue whale

 
tcm is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 12:07 PM   #4
???
Minion of Satan
 
???'s Avatar
 
Location: \(_o)/
Posts: 8,662
Default

yes, we all know the smartass answer, ted...do try again, though

 
??? is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 12:08 PM   #5
tcm
Braindead
 
tcm's Avatar
 
Location: Le look de Corgan
Posts: 17,922
Arrow

i don't understand. are two and two ever not four?

 
tcm is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 12:11 PM   #6
tcm
Braindead
 
tcm's Avatar
 
Location: Le look de Corgan
Posts: 17,922
Arrow

is the capital of Malaysia ever not Kuala Lumpur?

 
tcm is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 12:12 PM   #7
???
Minion of Satan
 
???'s Avatar
 
Location: \(_o)/
Posts: 8,662
Default

well that is of course the biggest known animal one could indeed take down, but it doesn't really count here as it wouldn't be much of a challenge, would it. we're discussing beasts here that are not only big, but aggressive, dangerous and formidable opponents. none are invincible however, and it is well worth getting in touch with one's inner tarzan for a moment should like unlikely situation of having to battle one ever transpire.

 
??? is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 12:15 PM   #8
MeAndMyLlama
 
MeAndMyLlama's Avatar
 
Location: Is this the rest of our lives?
Posts: 2,877
Default

well if i am sitting in starbucks while this mike pskowski/siberian tiger interaction takes place could i not use weapons found in starbucks? like swing a stool at it or throw a pot of hot coffee in it's face?

 
MeAndMyLlama is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 12:15 PM   #9
???
Minion of Satan
 
???'s Avatar
 
Location: \(_o)/
Posts: 8,662
Default

hypothetically, i suppose one could take down a large dinosaur, perhaps a t-rex, with merely a good trip-wire. king kong, just tickle his feet and he'd fall off the empire state pretty fast i'd reckon. cloverfield monster still pending until we know what it is

 
??? is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 12:16 PM   #10
???
Minion of Satan
 
???'s Avatar
 
Location: \(_o)/
Posts: 8,662
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MeAndMyLlama
well if i am sitting in starbucks while this mike pskowski/siberian tiger interaction takes place could i not use weapons found in starbucks? like swing a stool at it or throw a pot of hot coffee in it's face?
absolutely. like i said, take down without using conventional weapons. so any props found in the arena of conflict are totally acceptable.

 
??? is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 12:17 PM   #11
???
Minion of Satan
 
???'s Avatar
 
Location: \(_o)/
Posts: 8,662
Default

unless of course the arena would realistically be filled with conventional weapons, i suppose, in which case, fire away

 
??? is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 12:19 PM   #12
tcm
Braindead
 
tcm's Avatar
 
Location: Le look de Corgan
Posts: 17,922
Arrow

ok, i guess probably a sheep.

 
tcm is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 12:24 PM   #13
???
Minion of Satan
 
???'s Avatar
 
Location: \(_o)/
Posts: 8,662
Default

sensible choice there, tcm.

i've been musing on crocs: probably tougher to defeat than a lion or tiger. they thrash around more when provoked and their armor is very tough and you certainly couldn't break their neck. wont have much luck poking its eyes out either unless you have a stick.

 
??? is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 12:26 PM   #14
???
Minion of Satan
 
???'s Avatar
 
Location: \(_o)/
Posts: 8,662
Default

hm, i think an elephant would in fact be the largest, other than a beached whale. elephants are relatively docile and if you can manage to straddle one without getting stomped on or attacked by the rest of the herd, you probably have a good chance. try stuffing its trunk up its bottom perhaps.

 
??? is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 12:32 PM   #15
silent_brian13
Apocalyptic Poster
 
silent_brian13's Avatar
 
Location: san diego
Posts: 1,436
Default

a goat.

on an unrelated note, hippos are one of the most dangerous and aggressive animals in the world.

 
silent_brian13 is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 12:35 PM   #16
???
Minion of Satan
 
???'s Avatar
 
Location: \(_o)/
Posts: 8,662
Default

ooh!

 
??? is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 02:36 PM   #17
Nimrod's Son
Master of Karate and Friendship
 
Nimrod's Son's Avatar
 
Location: in your butt
Posts: 72,959
Default

a clown

 
Nimrod's Son is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 03:00 PM   #18
Mr. Mister
Pledge
 
Mr. Mister's Avatar
 
Location: MPLS
Posts: 137
Default

Chyna.

 
Mr. Mister is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 03:20 PM   #19
Netphorian Gadabout
The Broom of the System
 
Netphorian Gadabout's Avatar
 
Location: Michigan Stadium
Posts: 4,653
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ???
we're discussing beasts here that are not only big, but aggressive, dangerous and formidable opponents.
Oh, well then, I'm going to say your mother.

 
Netphorian Gadabout is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 03:25 PM   #20
waltermcphilp
Socialphobic
 
waltermcphilp's Avatar
 
Location: I DO C-C-C-COCAINE
Posts: 11,147
Default

a snake of the trouser variety.

 
waltermcphilp is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 03:43 PM   #21
monkeyfritters
Minion of Satan
 
monkeyfritters's Avatar
 
Location: google
Posts: 6,663
Default

even a small animal like aids could kick you guyses ass.

 
monkeyfritters is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 03:45 PM   #22
smashingjj
netphoria deep state
 
smashingjj's Avatar
 
Location: My dad is from the Balkans, so he used to wear speedos.
Posts: 33,640
Default

a modest mouse.

 
smashingjj is offline
Old 12-26-2007, 06:04 PM   #23
Mablak
Minion of Satan
 
Mablak's Avatar
 
Location: Well, if it isn't my old friend, Mr. McGreg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!
Posts: 6,417
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tcm
a beached blue whale
If you had an oxygen supply it wouldn't be hard to kill a blue whale in the water. You just have to get swallowed and destroy it from the inside out.

 
Mablak is offline
 


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is On
Google


Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:39 AM.




Smashing Pumpkins, Alternative Music
& General Discussion Message Board and Forums
www.netphoria.org - Copyright 1998-2019