Drug test / urinalysis* (urine analysis)

[killtrocity]

Last time I smoked marijuana was about 2 weeks ago and I only had a couple of hits. I've done some intense sweaty cardio and drink plenty of water every day. I'm also severely lacking in body fat. My pee is in the jar and I'm awaiting results.

In your vast experience with partaking in illicit substances and pissing in cups, what are my chances of failing this test?

[killtrocity]

After you tell me I am fucked and to kill myself some actual advice would be appreciated. So let's get that out of the way, somebody tell me to fuck myself and then kill myself so the next person call tell me about the exquisite art of UA*



































*urine analysis

[duovamp]

Why are you having your pee tested?

[yo soy el mejor]

you're gonna pass it! your bmi is probably lower than mine and i've done the same to pass a drug test, no problem. i wonder if age has anything to do with it, though, cause i was living in arlington, tx when i did this and that was quite a while ago.

i smoked about three days before my test and i went for a run each day and drank a shit load of water. i've heard of people taking niacin pills, too, but it makes your skin red and itchy.

[run2pee]

Your golden
































































































(jus like yur piss)

[run2pee]

Sux u had to drop tho, fuckn fascists everywhere man

[reprise85]

how often were you smoking?

if you have a normal BMI and were only smoking occasionally (say, 1x per week or less), you are most likely completely fine. for reals

[killtrocity]

Originally Posted by duovamp

Why are you having your pee tested?

contract job through a staffing agency

thank you everyone for the information, I can relax now

Originally Posted by reprise85

how often were you smoking?

if you have a normal BMI and were only smoking occasionally (say, 1x per week or less), you are most likely completely fine. for reals

like once or twice a week, only a couple of hits in the evening or on weekends

[redbreegull]

by this time I guess you either passed or you're on your way to Big Brother for reconditioning

but yeah as everyone else said if you were only smoking a couple hits a few times a week, 2 weeks should be long enough to purge your system

[redbreegull]

I don't even know what I would do if I was in a job interview and they asked for a drug test. Laugh, probably.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by killtrocity

like once or twice a week, only a couple of hits in the evening or on weekends

really good chance you're fine. when do you find out?

[Fonzie]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

I don't even know what I would do if I was in a job interview and they asked for a drug test. Laugh, probably.

Why?

[redbreegull]

because unless they were willing to delay the test for like 8 weeks there is absolutely no way i could pass. In a given week I won't smoke weed on maybe 1 out of 7 days. Maybe.

[redbreegull]

also because my privilege has thus far allowed me to not have to submit to any drug test for an employer. I would like to say I would just decline a position if they told me to get tested because I find drug testing to morally reprehensible, but probably I would be chugging tea and cranberry juice and praying to pakula/god

[Elphenor]

If you smoke errrday I hear it can take months

You have to get The Drink

[redbreegull]

What I have heard is that after approximately 8 weeks/2 months (whichever comes first) even a heavy smoker will come up clean. When I was in trouble with the so called "authorities" for having dank trees in my car, my attorney told me they would set my first drug test for about 2 months after my court date for this reason, which they did. btw I don't actually have an attorney it was my uncle

[redbreegull]

who is an attorney it's just not accurate to say my attorney because he helped me as a favor for free he is a judge now actually so he's legit not just like some random uncle guy who represented me in court

[redbreegull]

http://weedmemes.com/wp-content/uplo...weed-memes.jpg

[buzzard]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

I won't actually shave in Jersey

Originally Posted by redbreegull

she is a bit pudge now actually

I would suggest quickly eating down the follicles in those pores, and it took less than thirty seconds to find her name, yoga club, office phone, etc.

[redbreegull]

then why you quote me

[buzzard]

The quotes were edited to reveal nothing.

[redbreegull]

haha hey there

[redbreegull]

that was funny. I wasn't sure if you actually found him because I couldn't but realized it was a bad move. you'll find pos rep has been distributed in your bank account

[redbreegull]

to my credit I did use an alternate spelling

[redbreegull]

maybe ed breegull is my uncle

[JESUSNEEDSAHIT]

what you wrote his real name with different spelling? why not just change his name

[JESUSNEEDSAHIT]

and anyway why would you think there is any chance buzzard could actually find him. i assume your user name is not linkedto your real name somewhere?

[Elphenor]

I can't smoke trees at all because I'm expecting a drug test before my new job

well I probably could but it's not even worth the chance when I can just do other stuff

[buzzard]

His first name contains two Ns and his middle name begins with an L.

[Elphenor]

I'm not sure what's happening here but that's good looking out if you got him to edit something that gave away identity