chat thread

[yo soy el mejor]

Originally Posted by Elijah Moon

I've known my best friend since we were four

i'd kill for that kind of history with a pal. my best friend from high school turned into a giant self-involved weed-head who doesn't understand the reciprocity of relationships. i am grateful she introduced me to her childhood friend, though. she's been my girl for almost 9 years now.

the only reason we were thrown together is aforementioned h.s friend, on the night of her 21st (or 2nd) b-day, asked her to pick me up on the way to a bar. we were to text her on the way in case they (she wasn't alone) moved. well, we did. no response. over and over again. i tried another girl i knew she was with - nothing. eventually their phones were shut off and later that would be blamed on being so "drunky LOL".

so we made a night of it ourselves. and she didn't drive me home until 8 a.m.

[hnibos]

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

i'd kill for that kind of history with a pal. my best friend from high school turned into a giant self-involved weed-head who doesn't understand the reciprocity of relationships. i am grateful she introduced me to her childhood friend, though. she's been my girl for almost 9 years now.

the only reason we were thrown together is aforementioned h.s friend, on the night of her 21st (or 2nd) b-day, asked her to pick me up on the way to a bar. we were to text her on the way in case they (she wasn't alone) moved. well, we did. no response. over and over again. i tried another girl i knew she was with - nothing. eventually their phones were shut off and later that would be blamed on being so "drunky LOL".

so we made a night of it ourselves. and she didn't drive me home until 8 a.m.

Geek usa?

[Elijah Moon]

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

i'd kill for that kind of history with a pal. my best friend from high school turned into a giant self-involved weed-head who doesn't understand the reciprocity of relationships. i am grateful she introduced me to her childhood friend, though. she's been my girl for almost 9 years now.

the only reason we were thrown together is aforementioned h.s friend, on the night of her 21st (or 2nd) b-day, asked her to pick me up on the way to a bar. we were to text her on the way in case they (she wasn't alone) moved. well, we did. no response. over and over again. i tried another girl i knew she was with - nothing. eventually their phones were shut off and later that would be blamed on being so "drunky LOL".

so we made a night of it ourselves. and she didn't drive me home until 8 a.m.

That's cool. I have three close friends I've known since at least 12/13 (including the one I met at four) and, to be honest, it's actually surprising they all stuck by me, as I was a bit of a nightmare for a few years, drinking myself into a stupor at every opportunity and getting into trouble. I think they all just focussed on what a good friend I was before all of that and hoped I'd deal with all my demons, and I think I have been doing well in that regard for quite a while.

[Elijah Moon]

So, yeah, I'm really making an effort to make it up to the people who didn't give up on me. The best friend I mentioned phoned me nearly every week while I was in the nuthouse, even when I was half-dead and could only repeat the same few things, over and over

[Rairun]

I have two close friends, and I met them both on the oboard in 2001. I now live with one of them (we've been together since mid-2004). I don't talk to the other one as often as I'd like, but the time difference between the UK and the Seattle is pretty brutal. Still love her to bits, though.

I still keep in touch with my best childhood friend, but we haven't been best friends since 5th grade. I also keep in touch with some nerds from high school, but the bond we share was never that we understood each other DEEPLY, MAN. It's more about familiarity than anything else.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by LaBelle

So I took a dumb personality quiz linked in another thread

Take Free Jung Personality Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com

yay...(?)

we are opposite codes

INFJ - "Author". Strong drive and enjoyment to help others. Complex personality. 1.5% of total population.

Take Free Jung Personality Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com

the actual functions are more than just I/E etc, there's a whole world behind introverted and extroverted functions and stuff... plus I don't put much stock in the whole thing... but it's sorta fun

when i was more sick I always scored INFP, and I always am near the middle on F/T and P/J. if you read into what that means with cognitive functions, that makes no sense according to the theory, which is a big reason I put no stock into it. It's hard to explain without talking about a lot of other things, but suffice to say the system is broken w/r/t how it handles my code.

[darby]

my closest friends for a while were my childhood friends. we grew up as neighbors. now we're all adults and do our own thing but we still keep in touch. one of them is getting married in a couple months actually

i have a handful of ex-coworkers that i hang out with regularly. a few of us are gonna go get our brows done later today

[darby]

most of the people i meet and become acquainted with have like a two month expiration date. i dont come across a lot of people who can keep my interest. i had one friendship that i let drag on until recently but it was more out of compassion than anything else. besides that all the friendships ive had have been good and memorable

[yo soy el mejor]

Originally Posted by reprise85

we are opposite codes

Take Free Jung Personality Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com

ISFP - "Artist". Interested in the fine arts. Expression primarily through action or art form. The senses are keener than in other types. 8.8% of total population.

Take Free Jung Personality Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com

i can't even draw, though.

[yo soy el mejor]

Originally Posted by darby

i dont come across a lot of people who can keep my interest.

same.

[Rairun]

I haven't taken the MBTI in about 15 years, but when I played around with it, I'd always get either INTP or INFP. Mostly INTP.

But it really is a very ill-devised tool. Creating taxonomies for people is already pretty uninteresting (you don't gain any extra knowledge about them, you just put them in neat little boxes), but that isn't even the biggest problem with it. It's like sorting organisms by arbitrary traits (say, the presence of wings), so you end up with birds and mosquitoes and bats in the same category, and you somehow infer that they have other things in common because of a superficial similarity.

[The exploding boy]

the only reason i lost the friends i had is because of me. I'm shit at keeping in touch and making friends feel like they're wanted. Mainly because i'm too self-conscious. I never get to that stage where i'm comfortable with anyone. Like sorta comfortable but never enough that i feel i could call them up anytime (like I would with my brother who i feel i can be as retarded as i want around, i wish i could have that with anyone else). I'm always thinking deep down they probably don't like me that much.

I had HS friends i kept in contact with and that stopped because of me. They kept reaching out on FB once in a while which i would respond to for some years unti i stopped using FB at all. And like my best HS friend had a baby and all and i havent talked to him since that and that's been like 4 years. And i went to his fucking wedding. I feel really awful about this. I'm a shitty friend because lack of self esteem.

Plus honestly i found it hard to be like, once a year, when we'd meet, so what up, oh nothing. Just fucking wasting my life doing jackshit. While you have this nice teaching job at college and a wife and a kid... I'm not ashamed of my life or anything...

At this point i should just be friend with other failures. At least they don't make you feel inadequate.

[The exploding boy]

well that didnt come across as self-pitying or anything.

[reprise85]

I'm sorry you're having trouble, man. I was only isolated for about five years, but I can kinda understand. There were three good friends I had from childhood - one is a born again Christian/gun nut (but we do share memories sometimes on FB), one is dead, and the other I consider my best friend even though we only see each other maybe 3-4x a year. He usually is only in FL for the summer, but he got a fellowship from his PhD program and doesn't have to teach, only work on his dissertation, so he's been staying in FL with his family. I've only seen him once. Honestly, he never calls me and that bothers me. That's just his personality and he's always down to make plans, but I have to initiate, which is hard for me. I'm already the type that doesn't initiate, but he is even worse at it.

I'm not really sure what to say - I've made some friends from work and school in the past 2-3 years... no good friends, but people I see often and care about on some level. Only one person who I've seen multiple times just to hang out, though - and recently I've seen he is actually kinda a misogynist and backed off.

I really have a problem with rejection as well, I always feel like nobody pursues friendship with me and I have to initiate and I feel like that doesn't happen with other people. And I start wondering why - is it because of my weight, do I seem mentally ill or unstable, do I seem too private, what's the deal? Because I am friendly with people and do open up to a small extent.

Anyway enough of my bitching now, but I wanted you to know you're not alone

[Elijah Moon]

Originally Posted by The exploding boy

I never get to that stage where i'm comfortable with anyone. Like sorta comfortable but never enough that i feel i could call them up anytime (like I would with my brother who i feel i can be as retarded as i want around, i wish i could have that with anyone else). I'm always thinking deep down they probably don't like me that much.

This is how I've been for years, which is why my close friends are ppl. I met before thirteen or fourteen, before my problems escalated. I made friends with two housemates when I was in uni and living in a city, but I haven't kept in touch (well, they're on my Facebook) and have never felt able to call them up at any time and my interactions with them were a bit forced unless I was drunk, whereas with my close friends I can relax and act how I like (although I rarely see them at the moment, to be honest).

[Elphenor]

I think I have like 2 friends that I feel like I could call up at any time and say anything to with no acting whatsoever as if we were family

Those friendships take time to develop though

[Trotskilicious]

gosh really no way any other nuggets of wisdom you got there buddy

[reprise85]

just got alerts about a bomb threat at my college. it's friday night during spring break... they're doing it wrong.

[Eulogy]

I can't decide what I want for dinner. Ugh.

Maybe I'm just not hungry.

[Trotskilicious]

its a prank

[reprise85]

probably, but there's nobody there to evacuate. the campus is closed. no on-campus housing.

[ilikeplanets]

ahaha that's crazy

[LaBelle]

Originally Posted by ilikeplanets

oh word. i'm 25 on the 18th

Cake day is coming!!

[The exploding boy]

Originally Posted by reprise85

I'm sorry you're having trouble, man. I was only isolated for about five years, but I can kinda understand. There were three good friends I had from childhood - one is a born again Christian/gun nut (but we do share memories sometimes on FB), one is dead, and the other I consider my best friend even though we only see each other maybe 3-4x a year. He usually is only in FL for the summer, but he got a fellowship from his PhD program and doesn't have to teach, only work on his dissertation, so he's been staying in FL with his family. I've only seen him once. Honestly, he never calls me and that bothers me. That's just his personality and he's always down to make plans, but I have to initiate, which is hard for me. I'm already the type that doesn't initiate, but he is even worse at it.

I'm not really sure what to say - I've made some friends from work and school in the past 2-3 years... no good friends, but people I see often and care about on some level. Only one person who I've seen multiple times just to hang out, though - and recently I've seen he is actually kinda a misogynist and backed off.

I really have a problem with rejection as well, I always feel like nobody pursues friendship with me and I have to initiate and I feel like that doesn't happen with other people. And I start wondering why - is it because of my weight, do I seem mentally ill or unstable, do I seem too private, what's the deal? Because I am friendly with people and do open up to a small extent.

Anyway enough of my bitching now, but I wanted you to know you're not alone

The only time i had rl friends outside of High school was when i went on a local music forum which is long gone now. Like most of them. How do people meet people online nowadays? It seems with the general disappearance of forums..i dont know how to even have an online life anymore, nevermind a rl (should i say offline cause this is real) one. Pretty much came back here for lack of options really if i think about it... i mean for forums and shit. FB's only good if you already know people... You can't start a FB page and then start making friends... you have to have some friends to begin with. anyway i feel weird commenting on people's fb and stuff. It's just..weird. I dunno, could never get into it. It's like TOO personal for some things.

I mean someone might say get a life, a job or something. but here's the thing, i never made friends when i worked anyway. I cant really start relationships unless i can do it online first. Too awkward otherwise. I emit a strong signal of leave me the fuck alone. Probs because social interaction with near unknowns (like co workers) makes me too uncomfortable.

I mean there's even plenty of people to talk to at medical trials and they're not all freaks. Yet i never do. Or haven't in like nearly ten years anyway.

[reprise85]

Do you want to have friends? Serious question, not trying to be patronizing.

[reprise85]

So today was my second day back at customer service at my job, where I deal with like $20-50k per day or so. I originally got demoted to cashier for 6 months due to cash shortages. A bunch of them. Which is from me trying to go too fast, possible being scammed, or just dissociating and fucking up. One was a really stupid thing where I gave someone two money orders.

So we count my tray before lunch and it's like $113 short (we estimate change) and I'm like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME, I mean it's my second day and I'm feeling good and like I'm really able to pay attention and not space out and shit.

So for like the next 3 hours I'm freaking out a little, have to force some lunch down... trying to figure out what could have happened, and seriously pondering that the opener might have stolen money because they knew I was an easy person to push it on and not get caught. Or something is up.

And then I find out the office is over $111. I'm gonna kill the opening office person when I see her next. I might start counting the drawer if I'm the first person on it. No one ever does it because it's never a problem. But apparently I started short $111 somehow. Weird number to be short in any capacity, really. Usually if someone is short it's a straight $10, $20, or $100. It's usually one bill. I mean everyone is always over or short a few cents or a dollar, but besides that.

[The exploding boy]

I do but i cant overcome my fear of socializing.

I mean....when i meet people online first i don't have problems communicating and then people get to know you so THEN it's much easier to meet them and not be so weirded out by it. If anything they've been warned i may be strange so it just...they know it won't mean i don't have interest or anything. And after a few times i'm generally alright.

I have honestly never known how to make friends outside of the internets... I mean like i said last time i started any relationship outside of it was.well high school and barely... most friends in HS i knew since grade school.

[reprise85]

It's hard and weird. My experiences lately, they feel weird but I think you just have to deal with it. It's strange asking a full-blown adult to hang out. By this time people have their peoples for the most part. I think you just have to be earnest and gently prove your way in there. Maybe. Blind leading the blind here.

I'm mean you're basically saying "I think you're cool do you think I'm cool?!"

[Mals Marola]

Originally Posted by The exploding boy

You can't start a FB page and then start making friends... you have to have some friends to begin with. anyway i feel weird commenting on people's fb and stuff. It's just..weird. I dunno, could never get into it. It's like TOO personal for some things.

it's so fucking stupid, if you post something "too controversial" or whathaveyou you'll get deleted
if you're not "besties" with certain people, deleted
etc. etc.

but really, the dumbest thing i ever heard about re: facebook was a friend of mine who once made a comment about how they added someone on facebook and then, basically, that that person had the audacity to post on their wall or statuses or whatev a couple of times

i can't be bothered to deal with this kind of shit, people are so cold & stupid these days, why would i want to deal with that?

of course there are a few every now and then but it always seems to end up pretty fragile & fickle, which basically leads me back to realizing why i had pretty much isolated myself in high school & various phases of college in the first place

[reprise85]

ive never gotten into an argument about facebook or about who posts what on facebook. ignore what you dont like, defriend someone if they're an ass. its not complicated. i have arguments/discussions on facebook but not about facebook.