******'s Holiday Fruit Cake Recipe!

Aeroplane · 12-13-2006, 11:45 AM

We've seen her chicken, now here's her fruit cake.

Fruit Cake Recipe

1 cup water
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
2 cups of flour
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 cup chopped nuts
1 gallon wine

Sample the wine to check for quality.
Take out a large bowl.
Check the wine again to make sure that it is of the highest quality.
Pour 1 level cup and drink.
Repeat if you're not sure.
Turn on the electric mixer and beat 1 cup of butter in a large bowl.

Add 1 tsp sugar and beat again.
Make sure the wine is still okay. Cry another tup.
Turn off the mixer.
Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a
drewscriver.

Sample the wine again to check for tonsisticity.
Next sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Who cares.
Check the wine.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add 1 table. Spoon. Of sugar or flour or something.
Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake pan to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw one bowl out the window.
Check the wine again.

Go to bed.

alisonmonster · 12-13-2006, 12:22 PM

this sounds like something my mom would forward to me via email if she could use the internet. Sort of like the 'friendship recipe' (add a dash of love and a spoonful of caring).

But seriously, i love fruitcake and other stuff people hate at christmas (mince meat, christmas pudding).

Aeroplane · 12-13-2006, 12:28 PM

i agree, it's hokey, but i still found it funny. i admit it.

blackfaerie · 12-13-2006, 12:37 PM

i laughed.

i was going to say something about having just the wine, minus the fruitcake but then i read the whole recipe.

bardy · 12-13-2006, 12:37 PM

what's christmas pudding?

blackfaerie · 12-13-2006, 12:38 PM

i laughed.

i was going to say something about having just the wine, minus the fruitcake but then i read the whole recipe.

bardy · 12-13-2006, 12:39 PM

what's christmas pudding?

Aeroplane · 12-13-2006, 12:43 PM

ah, love the server

blackfaerie · 12-13-2006, 12:47 PM

stupid.

alisonmonster · 12-13-2006, 12:52 PM

people make christmas pudding a bunch of different ways (like light it on fire, or make it almost like a cake consistancy) but my mom makes it from scratch with a lot of weird stuff that happens to end up tasting really good. Raisens, potatoes,carrots, suet, cinnamon and a bunch of random stuff and she puts this thin lemon sauce on it. Its really filling so you can only eat a few spoonfuls (suet is basically powdered beef fat) I don't know what you could compre it to--maybe mincemeat. I know it sounds gross but i swear its really awesome.

Aeroplane · 12-13-2006, 12:58 PM

alisonmonster · 12-13-2006, 01:00 PM

dude, i said i like gross christmas food no one else likes!

bardy · 12-13-2006, 01:08 PM

is it kind of like bread pudding?

spring · 12-13-2006, 01:10 PM

i've never had christmas pudding either

alison, make some for us

yo soy el mejor · 12-13-2006, 01:11 PM

you know my name!

Aeroplane · 12-13-2006, 01:13 PM

uh, yeah.

12-13-2006, 11:45 AM	#1
Aeroplane Minion of Satan Location: fine. i must finally admit it: LA, CA Posts: 8,579	****'s Holiday Fruit Cake Recipe! We've seen her chicken, now here's her fruit cake. Fruit Cake Recipe** 1 cup water 1 cup butter 1 cup sugar 4 large eggs 2 cups dried fruit 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon salt 1 cup brown sugar 2 cups of flour 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1 cup chopped nuts 1 gallon wine Sample the wine to check for quality. Take out a large bowl. Check the wine again to make sure that it is of the highest quality. Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat if you're not sure. Turn on the electric mixer and beat 1 cup of butter in a large bowl. Add 1 tsp sugar and beat again. Make sure the wine is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine again to check for tonsisticity. Next sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Who cares. Check the wine. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add 1 table. Spoon. Of sugar or flour or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake pan to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw one bowl out the window. Check the wine again. Go to bed.

12-13-2006, 12:22 PM	#2
alisonmonster Minion of Satan Location: gasoline alley Posts: 9,017	this sounds like something my mom would forward to me via email if she could use the internet. Sort of like the 'friendship recipe' (add a dash of love and a spoonful of caring). But seriously, i love fruitcake and other stuff people hate at christmas (mince meat, christmas pudding).

12-13-2006, 12:28 PM	#3
Aeroplane Minion of Satan Location: fine. i must finally admit it: LA, CA Posts: 8,579	i agree, it's hokey, but i still found it funny. i admit it.

12-13-2006, 12:37 PM	#4
blackfaerie cherrybombs, Red Bulls, and vodka. No really, I'm not a lush. Location: the liquor store, restocking. Posts: 8,883	i laughed. i was going to say something about having just the wine, minus the fruitcake but then i read the whole recipe.

12-13-2006, 12:37 PM	#5
bardy Immortal Location: helllllloooooo!! Posts: 20,823	what's christmas pudding?

12-13-2006, 12:38 PM	#6
blackfaerie cherrybombs, Red Bulls, and vodka. No really, I'm not a lush. Location: the liquor store, restocking. Posts: 8,883	i laughed. i was going to say something about having just the wine, minus the fruitcake but then i read the whole recipe.

12-13-2006, 12:39 PM	#7
bardy Immortal Location: helllllloooooo!! Posts: 20,823	what's christmas pudding?

12-13-2006, 12:43 PM	#8
Aeroplane Minion of Satan Location: fine. i must finally admit it: LA, CA Posts: 8,579	ah, love the server

12-13-2006, 12:47 PM	#9
blackfaerie cherrybombs, Red Bulls, and vodka. No really, I'm not a lush. Location: the liquor store, restocking. Posts: 8,883	stupid.

12-13-2006, 12:52 PM	#10
alisonmonster Minion of Satan Location: gasoline alley Posts: 9,017	people make christmas pudding a bunch of different ways (like light it on fire, or make it almost like a cake consistancy) but my mom makes it from scratch with a lot of weird stuff that happens to end up tasting really good. Raisens, potatoes,carrots, suet, cinnamon and a bunch of random stuff and she puts this thin lemon sauce on it. Its really filling so you can only eat a few spoonfuls (suet is basically powdered beef fat) I don't know what you could compre it to--maybe mincemeat. I know it sounds gross but i swear its really awesome.

12-13-2006, 12:58 PM	#11
Aeroplane Minion of Satan Location: fine. i must finally admit it: LA, CA Posts: 8,579

12-13-2006, 01:11 PM	#15
yo soy el mejor Just Hook it to My Veins! Location: all over the Internet Posts: 44,548	you know my name!

12-13-2006, 01:00 PM	#12
alisonmonster Minion of Satan Location: gasoline alley Posts: 9,017	dude, i said i like gross christmas food no one else likes!

12-13-2006, 01:08 PM	#13
bardy Immortal Location: helllllloooooo!! Posts: 20,823	is it kind of like bread pudding?

12-13-2006, 01:10 PM	#14
spring die 'til it doesn't hurt Posts: 7,475	i've never had christmas pudding either alison, make some for us

12-13-2006, 01:13 PM	#16
Aeroplane Minion of Satan Location: fine. i must finally admit it: LA, CA Posts: 8,579	uh, yeah.