Maybe we could tell stories or something, you know, have a few laughs and stuff

[wHATcOLOR]

something funny that happened to you, or something you saw. you know, for laughs. i think i might help cheer things up

[wHATcOLOR]

whoops i didn't mean to hit submit yet. what's the deal with these macs, you hit the enter key accidentally and the thread's posted

[Nimrod's Son]

one time i came in a girl's mouth and i guess it was a lot because it started to run out her nose and then she sneezed and it dripped down and she wound up eating most of it a second time

that's a pretty funny story

[yoshinobu's revenge]

Originally Posted by Nimrod's Son

one time i came in a girl's mouth and i guess it was a lot because it started to run out her nose and then she sneezed and it dripped down and she wound up eating most of it a second time

that's a pretty funny story

that is indeed.

[flavin]

It's my roommate's birthday and I bought the same scarf for him as my other friend. It was really funny. My other friend made him a crown that says thug life on it. It was a successful birthday.

[waltermcphilp]

i went out last night for my 21st birthday. and i threw up. alot.

[wHATcOLOR]

when i was in school i would try to play music with these friends of mine. like a band, except we weren't good and didn't have a singer, so more like friends who always play music with eachother. drums and guitar and bass.

so none of us had a car or anything, and the guy with the biggest place with the neighbors least likely to be little fucks lived in this area that was nowhere near any place with food.

every saturday night, we'd get pull some money together to get some beers. we each had to take a bus, and it was really annoying. then we'd go and play. we always would order for pizza or sandwiches.

the problem was that the only place that delivered AND accepted the dumb meal points we had to buy (didn't really have any cash, spent it on the beer), Bull City, closed at 10, sometimes earlier. so the first few times we tried, it was too late to order.

the next week we planned in advance and ordered, but when the dude came by, we didn't hear him. he sure didn't ring the bell, cause that makes the light blink. so we didn't have any stupid food that week either.

the next week the same thing happened, guy apparently came and went, we never heard him. so we're sitting there starving, but at least we got those beers.

so the following week, we put a sign on the door. with red marker it said "WE ARE INSIDE PLAYING MUSIC VERY LOUDLY! WE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO HEAR YOU KNOCK, SO JUST COME IN AND FIND US, THE DOOR IS OPEN. THANKS"

so we're playing and playing, and get hungry, and nothing. we pretty much gave up on the idea of food coming, we seemed cursed, so after a while we just put on some tv and drank our beers. we're sitting there, real quietly, watching La Femme Nikita when suddenly the door is kicked wide open and this big dude with a mesh hat lunges into the kitchen and SCREAMS BUUUUULL CITY!!!

all three of us spit our beer out at the tv and fell on the floor laughing, i thought i was going to choke. the guy shrugged and was like "sign said it was gonna be looud, maan"


:the helicopter:

[waltermcphilp]

thank god i said my story when i did, yours will be hard to follow.

[wHATcOLOR]

Originally Posted by ciGarski

whatcolor do you sense a vibe that most of the boards has been pretty down recently?

maybe a little, but it was more selfishly motivated. i was hoping some of you guys would have stories that'd help cheer me up. but i'm not one to say give me give me give me. i like to give too, you know?

but there's definitely not a vibrant energy on the boards or anything, that's for sure

[wHATcOLOR]

its not like it's got to be a recent story, dig deep dudes, let's have some laughs

[Nimrod's Son]

when i lived with my ex-roomate and he moved in some chick that i hated from another state without so much as a "is that ok?" i used to take a shit in the bathroom in the morning, leave and close the door and not flush

[Nimrod's Son]

i hated my college dormmate who shared our bathroom - two dorms had a shared bathroom inbetween. i used to occasionally put bullion cubes in the shower head after i was out of the shower. he couldn't smell it when in the shower but he'd smell like crap to everyone else the rest of the day

[wHATcOLOR]

i know beggers ought not be choosers, but have you got anything a little less mean?

[Nimrod's Son]

Originally Posted by wHATcOLOR

i know beggers ought not be choosers, but have you got anything a little less mean?

[Warsaw]

There is a local creepy dude who is slightly deaf/slightly retarded(?) who always hangs around public places and stares at people. My uncle is a cop and he said one night this creepy dude was in a bar and slipped up behind some chick and told her "I want to fuck you in this ass!" She turned around and punched him in the face.

[Lola]

A few years ago I went on a camping trip and I did a bunch of mushrooms, I was sitting on a blanket beside the fire and I was just starting to peak and all of the sudden I heard a thud then a peeping noise I looked over and a baby duck had fallen out of the sky and landed about a foot from where I was sitting. Later when I was less high I figured out somthing must have caught it and dropped it mid-flight but at the time it tripped me right out. I dont know if this is funny but im tired and it was the first thing that came to mind.

[Lola]

Oh, today on the bus some retarded guy sitting the in the front seat started masterbating and saying "its not there david" over and over again, then the old lady sitting next to him told him he should wait and do that in private.

[Warsaw]

One time a friend put a bunch of dead bait fish in someone's mailbox.

[Warsaw]

Somebody told me once that they shit the bed and her boyfriend just said something like "you made a poo" and patted her on the head.

[hnibos]

my senior year in high school, i stole a dead cat that was in our biology class (there were a bunch of them in boxes in the back, they were to be dissected by another class).

the class was sort of big and the teacher wasnt paying attention, it was towards the end of class, and it was the last class of the day so everyone is just talking and getting ready to leave. i grabbed one of the cats and put him in a garbage bag i found in the class. as soon as the door bell rang, i ran out towards the parking lot because i knew that if this girl saw a dead cat on her car, it would be lolz for everyone around, seeing as she would be the type to freak out in a really horrific manner. of course, hilarity ensued when she arrived.

idk what happened to the body of the cat, the next day the cats were no longer in the classroom though. i never got in trouble, either.

[Nimrod's Son]

Originally Posted by Lola

Oh, today on the bus some retarded guy sitting the in the front seat started masterbating and saying "its not there david" over and over again, then the old lady sitting next to him told him he should wait and do that in private.

when i used to ride the bus, there was a retarded kid who would start yelling and clapping wildly whenever the bell for the next stop rang

so whenever i could i'd spam the bell and watch him go apeshit


sorry wc, i'm trying

[I'm Hardcore]

dudes masturbate on the bus in my city all the damn time

[Warsaw]

Originally Posted by hnibos

my senior year in high school, i stole a dead cat that was in our biology class (there were a bunch of them in boxes in the back, they were to be dissected by another class).

Did it stink? Was it soaking in something or just in the open air?

[hnibos]

Originally Posted by Warsaw

Did it stink? Was it soaking in something or just in the open air?

they were wrapped up individually in a clear plastic bag and they were soaked, and there was some liquid in the bag. yes, they smelled terrible.

[Mablak]

I might've talked about this once, but my first alcohol experience was, if not funny, pretty god damn ridiculous.

Two of my friends convinced me that seeing Snakes on a Plane drunk would be amazing, so I finally decided to drink for the first time. So we drink a little beforehand, and also do shots of rum on the way there. My friend who was driving wasn't watching my other friend though, who somehow managed to drink around 8 or so more shots on the way there.

So he seems reasonably coherent when we walk in the theater, but then like 20 minutes into the movie he starts slouching in his seat and stuff, while I'm concentrating on my own drunkenness, and since I'd never drank I had no idea if what he was doing was abnormal or not.

Then he starts literally jumping from row to row, and I'm wondering what the fuck is going on, but still trying to concentrate on the movie. Then finally at about 3/5 of the way through, after he'd been slouching for a while, he pukes his stomach out all over the left side of the row. It was like, definitely audible from anywhere in the theater, possibly the grossest barfing splatter I've ever heard. I'm pretty sure every single person there was drunk though so there wasn't any immediate commotion.

So my other friend takes him to the bathroom to continue the puking, while I'm still sitting pretty close to the vomit pile and getting grossed out, then comes back a few minutes later and tells me 'WE NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE' which scared me shitless. It was probably a good idea though, if/when someone complained about the puke we would definitely get in trouble.

So me and him try to support our now blacked out friend and take him stumbling into this grassy/wooded clearing away from the theater (and he keeps running away from us), and we just sit there for about 1.5 hours waiting to sober up enough to drive while our friend pukes.

Finally we drive him home, having to stop along the way to let him puke some more, and we try to make sure he's sleeping on his side.

[Mablak]

AND THEN

The next day he apparently cannot move his left hand at all. Due to sleeping on it and not being able to roll over, he crushed some tendon or something, and had to get the weirdest wrist cast I've ever seen. It had little supports for each finger, it was bizarrely freddy krueger-like, and he had to wear it for about 3 weeks before he could move his fingers again.

So yeah. I guess it would have been really hilarious if for my first drinking experience both of my friends got blacked out, I'm glad someone there could actually drink in moderation.

[wHATcOLOR]

anything happen in the woods?

[Mablak]

Some guy offered us blowjobs. We respectfully declined.

[wHATcOLOR]

i bet you're kicking yourself now. if that's not a serious story about the dangers of alcohol, i don't know what is

[hnibos]

buttsex?