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Old 11-22-2006, 08:20 PM   #1
MusicMan4
 
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Default my writing career is underway

i just submitted some of my stories about being in an alternative school to mcsweeneys
i decided to try these since in the thread i posted them all in thrillho was lolling at them and demanding i post more and ravenguy said they reminded him of sedaris
if any of them make it on the site i'll stick with writing
maybe take some creative writing courses at community college to develop my talents further you know
if i am rejected, which is what im expecting within the next two days, i'm going to give up on ever doing anything more than low-paying office bullshit, so this is kind of a big thing

 
Old 11-22-2006, 09:40 PM   #2
daydreamer999
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we should exchange manuscripts sometime

 
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Old 11-22-2006, 09:45 PM   #3
yo soy el mejor
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post them

 
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Old 11-22-2006, 09:45 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor
post them
like that's gonna happen

 
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Old 11-22-2006, 09:47 PM   #5
stain
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Good luck. Do you take any recreational drugs?

 
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Old 11-22-2006, 09:55 PM   #6
Karl Connor
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i'm writing a children's novel

i decided i'm too dumb/unskilled to write a good adult novel

 
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Old 11-22-2006, 09:56 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Karl Connor
i'm writing a children's novel

i decided i'm to dumb/unskilled to write a good adult novel
do what im doing
write a humor book

 
Old 11-22-2006, 09:58 PM   #8
MusicMan4
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katy Lied
like that's gonna happen
i posted them on the board years ago, doofus
did you read what i posted up there?
youre not picking up what im putting down here

 
Old 11-22-2006, 10:14 PM   #9
Katy Lied
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Graveflower
i posted them on the board years ago, doofus
did you read what i posted up there?
youre not picking up what im putting down here
i read it too quick, now i see it...sorry

 
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Old 11-22-2006, 11:46 PM   #10
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Good luck, man.

 
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Old 11-22-2006, 11:49 PM   #11
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you're sucking up too much, rich

 
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Old 11-22-2006, 11:50 PM   #12
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I'm glad that the premier humor literature magazine is called McSweeney's.

 
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Old 11-22-2006, 11:51 PM   #13
Cell Tech
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edit: whops, i didnt know who "rich" meant for some reason

whatever, you all blow

 
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Old 11-22-2006, 11:51 PM   #14
MusicMan4
 
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i'm concerned that its not protocol to submit multiple stories at once

 
Old 11-22-2006, 11:54 PM   #15
Karl Connor
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writersmarket.com and writersdigest.com are legit ways to get stuff out there btw

 
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Old 11-22-2006, 11:55 PM   #16
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also the titles of the stories arent very good
titles are my biggest problem

Everyone Thought it Was So Cool That I Had an MP3 Player

I Had to Star In an Anti-Weed Video

My Science Teacher Bought Me a Copy of Its Only Right and Natural by The Frogs

and so on

 
Old 11-22-2006, 11:56 PM   #17
Karl Connor
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they're not bad, but arent attention-grabbers either

 
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Old 11-22-2006, 11:57 PM   #18
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keep in mind that i sent them to the ultra-self aware and ironic mcsweeneys

 
Old 11-22-2006, 11:59 PM   #19
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here are examples of mcsweeneys article titles:

I'm Starting to Suspect That a Dungeons and Dragons Player Named "Elgdorf the Mage" Is Abusing His Wikipedia Editorial Privileges

Perhaps I Should Stop Naming the Protagonists in My Semi-Autobiographical Fiction After Myself

Yahoo's MAILER-DAEMON Automated Reply for Failed E-mail Delivery Is Getting a Little Too Intimate

 
Old 11-23-2006, 12:06 AM   #20
Elvis The Fat Years
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this from a book i wrote called junkie.

shakespeare's last dance

grave sites filled with apple cider,
pockets filled with pickles.
the dead know only one thing- it's better to be alive,
but the keebler elf made me do it anyway.

im bleeding tomato sauce out my nose,
naked, like sex with you,
but for now my hand will have to do.
got trashed by a tree,
who's me?

blue playdough pudding, cats and chopsticks,
food for a king while dead men sing.
i hate yellow thumbs and black teeth.
i am very still riding through the alcohol circus.




that's courtesy of an obscene amount of acid and a 4 foot bong.

Last edited by Elvis The Fat Years : 11-23-2006 at 12:15 AM.

 
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Old 11-23-2006, 12:08 AM   #21
Cell Tech
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i feel like i already know your writing style from those titles. its not really to my taste

 
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Old 11-23-2006, 12:10 AM   #22
Karl Connor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Graveflower
here are examples of mcsweeneys article titles:

I'm Starting to Suspect That a Dungeons and Dragons Player Named "Elgdorf the Mage" Is Abusing His Wikipedia Editorial Privileges

Perhaps I Should Stop Naming the Protagonists in My Semi-Autobiographical Fiction After Myself

Yahoo's MAILER-DAEMON Automated Reply for Failed E-mail Delivery Is Getting a Little Too Intimate
those are pretty amazing

 
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Old 11-23-2006, 12:12 AM   #23
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I like the first one.

 
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Old 11-23-2006, 12:15 AM   #24
MusicMan4
 
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Postcards from "The Edge"

 
Old 11-23-2006, 12:19 AM   #25
Elvis The Fat Years
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im not sure what to call this one


ffs4ver: hey good game 2nite
Im Not OK: what the fuck are you talking about?
ffs4ver: u played againsy me
Im Not OK: bullshit
ffs4ver: wtf u bitch
Im Not OK: rectal itch
ffs4ver: o ya rite I'm a bitch u whore
Im Not OK: can i stick my finger up your ass?
ffs4ver: umm hell no

 
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Old 11-23-2006, 12:20 AM   #26
Karl Connor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elvis The Fat Years
im not sure what to call this one
how about "I'm Not Gay but I Just Masturbated to a .jpg of That Guy in The Human League"

 
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Old 11-23-2006, 12:22 AM   #27
MusicMan4
 
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Social Security Denies Gregor Samsa's Disability Claim

David Caruso Scolds His Cat About Its Lackadaisical Litter-Box Use

Lady Macbeth on Ambien

Conversations I've Had During a Normal Day in Los Angeles, Modified to include the Shocking Depiction of Racism Found in Paul Haggis's 2005 Film Crash

Matthew Barney and Björk Place an Ikea Phone Order

 
Old 11-23-2006, 12:22 AM   #28
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Sean you are such a liar. Who did you submit them to? Your trash can? Oh, I bet it was one of those big writing contest sites like poetry.com where everyone is a winner.

 
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Old 11-23-2006, 12:23 AM   #29
MusicMan4
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cell Tech
i feel like i already know your writing style from those titles. its not really to my taste
you know it from my posts
theyre basically blog entries

 
Old 11-23-2006, 12:23 AM   #30
MusicMan4
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sammiches
Sean you are such a liar. Who did you submit them to? Your trash can? Oh, I bet it was one of those big writing contest sites like poetry.com where everyone is a winner.
mcsweeney's
i said it twice in this thread you idiot

 
 


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