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06-09-2014, 03:48 AM | #1 |
Socialphobic
Location: we are champions, bathed in the heat of a thousand flame wars in the grim future of the internet there is only netphoria
Posts: 12,467
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So I did a first aid course
And I learned that if you are having a heart attack, you develop a huge urge to poop. This is because your body is beginning to shut down so it flushes the bowels, bladder and stomach. Once you're there, the straining of the act if pooping usually finishes you off and many heart attack victims die on the toilet.
So if you think it's happening my advice is, sit tight and crap your pants because it's better than dying on the loo. This information brought to you courtesy of Unloveable Fat Pieces of Rubbish Public Service Announcements. |
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06-09-2014, 05:21 AM | #2 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: František! How's the foot of your turtle?
Posts: 32,743
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06-09-2014, 09:53 AM | #3 |
Shut the fuck up!
Location: "Okay, white power feminist" - yo soy el mejor
Posts: 23,882
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my grandfather died "at the loo"
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06-09-2014, 09:57 AM | #4 |
Minion of Satan
Location: "I'm a quivering collection of the worst and least helpful emotions: fear, anxiety, terror, paranoia, indigestion, dishpan hands..."
Posts: 7,765
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i'm more likely to pop a vein in my head shitting.
And seriously this is netphoria where no word is censored. Say shit. Hell, say defecate. Say have a bowel movememt. Just please anyone don't say the p word. |
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06-09-2014, 10:15 AM | #5 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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****, john ******, mike *****, samantha *******-*****, *******
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06-09-2014, 10:18 AM | #6 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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jhon bosnor mkie gdady samantha galilng-gdady
also! ******** salas |
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06-09-2014, 10:20 AM | #7 |
Shut the fuck up!
Location: "Okay, white power feminist" - yo soy el mejor
Posts: 23,882
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i hope i die in front of a huge crowd of people who aren't expecting it.
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06-09-2014, 10:22 AM | #8 |
Banned
Location: so 1994 I could die
Posts: 15,964
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06-09-2014, 10:23 AM | #9 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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lot of these people have a lot of shame about having posted here i guess
i deleted ******** from my FB after she reposted the bill corgan kitty kats some 3 days after i did ackting like she ain't never seen it before and i'm like oh so you just put people like me on ignore cuz you can't delete me like your BFFs Kimmy and Bardy did mostly women are embarrassed about their netphorian history, they get into a professional career and they decide that the thing they did was terrible and all of us are monsters and ultimately they're pretty much right Last edited by Trotskilicious : 06-09-2014 at 11:07 AM. |
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06-09-2014, 10:26 AM | #10 |
Banned
Location: so 1994 I could die
Posts: 15,964
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times like these
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06-09-2014, 10:40 AM | #11 |
Minion of Satan
Location: "I'm a quivering collection of the worst and least helpful emotions: fear, anxiety, terror, paranoia, indigestion, dishpan hands..."
Posts: 7,765
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yeah ive noticed before includ e is censored.
Thats not very inclusive |
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06-09-2014, 11:21 AM | #12 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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i mean why would you want to be friends with sad people they just bring you down and besides its their own fault they just need to be themselves and stay positive and things will work out
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06-09-2014, 11:21 AM | #13 | |
Consume my pants.
Location: Missouri
Posts: 36,099
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Quote:
I'll never deny my net4 crew! Good thing I'll never have a career to worry about!! |
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06-09-2014, 11:22 AM | #14 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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even ammy deleted me which i can't fucking understand at all, not only did we hang out in chicago she came to San Antonio and we hung out there
I GUESS THAT CONNECTION ISN'T WORTH HAVING SINCE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT SMASHING PUMPKINS ANYMORE seriously what the fuck is wrong with people i don't get it it's like they think that it's okay just to ditch people they were friends with and that's just the way it goes. why is that okay? |
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06-09-2014, 11:25 AM | #15 |
Shut the fuck up!
Location: "Okay, white power feminist" - yo soy el mejor
Posts: 23,882
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because people are horrible
i had an argument with my wife recently. I can't remember what prompted it, but for whatever reason I stated that the majority of people on earth are horrible and that's a big part of why so many things are so awful in the world. She has the opposite opinion. I think it was in regards to our neighbors who won't let their children play outside anymore because we have "vicious pit bulls on our property" |
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06-09-2014, 11:28 AM | #16 |
Consume my pants.
Location: Missouri
Posts: 36,099
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I guess people grow apart and without a regular IRL relationship sometimes people trim their online friends to just people they really connect with. I get it.
Sometimes Sarah will post some funny off the wall shit on an otherwise innocuous FB post of mine and I cringelaugh when she interacts with my IRL friends/family. I wouldn't change it because as lame as it sounds net4 has been influential in my real life. |
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06-09-2014, 11:29 AM | #17 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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the only time i had crossover was when kristen called my offline friend a bitch and so i just deleted kristens dumb ass
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06-09-2014, 11:29 AM | #18 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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"Who the fuck is Kristen Jones and why is she calling me a bitch?"
immortal words |
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06-09-2014, 11:30 AM | #19 |
Consume my pants.
Location: Missouri
Posts: 36,099
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I wish I could have read that; I remember you mentioning it when it happened.
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06-09-2014, 11:31 AM | #20 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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i deleted vixnix because she started trolling her own friends
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06-09-2014, 02:32 PM | #21 |
Braindead
Location: I was just reading, right?
Posts: 15,023
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06-09-2014, 02:37 PM | #22 |
Shut the fuck up!
Location: "Okay, white power feminist" - yo soy el mejor
Posts: 23,882
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You can adjust settings so that you don't have to view someone's every Facebook post. Out of all my friends I think I only have a quarter of them showing in my FB feed.
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06-09-2014, 02:45 PM | #23 |
Braindead
Location: I was just reading, right?
Posts: 15,023
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Yeah I've had to do that to a lot of people, including my brother. I rarely delete anyone though unless I see something overly racist, sexist, or homophobic. When I was younger I would delete anyone making some dumb judeo-christian crap post but now I'm more tolerant of it. Whatever.
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06-09-2014, 03:00 PM | #24 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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i mean if you're going to choose to be unsuccessful and unhappy there's just no time for you
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06-09-2014, 03:01 PM | #25 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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gotta keep people with a negative aura out of my life
they need to help themselves the only way to do that is to ditch them, then they'll learn. the best thing for the sad is to abandon them, that way they'll have faith in humanity at some point. makes perfect sense. |
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06-09-2014, 04:00 PM | #26 |
Minion of Satan
Location: "I'm a quivering collection of the worst and least helpful emotions: fear, anxiety, terror, paranoia, indigestion, dishpan hands..."
Posts: 7,765
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pretty much why i've deliberately decided not to have friends.
I do think though that in life you've kinda got to look out for yourself and removing negative influences in your life is probably the way to go. That being said having a negative attitude and having a negative influence are not the same thing. But if someone is making your life worse even by a small amount and you don't owe them anything and they don't owe you anything, probably should ditch them. |
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06-09-2014, 04:06 PM | #27 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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i dunno if making someone's life worse is just going "man i'm kinda sad, you know? is that okay?"
"NO! HOLY SHIT! I'M TRYING NOT TO THINK OF ALL THE SAD AND SCARY SHIT IN MY LIFE ALL THE TIME I HAVE THIS UNBELIEVABLE LEVEL OF DENIAL AND SHIT GOING ON HERE I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOU ACTUALLY SAYING THIS SHIT OUT LOUD GET AWAY FROM ME SAD BOY." pretty much everyone in my life ditches me and the ultimate reason is because i'm sad OH NO I'M NOT SUPER FUCKING HAPPY ALL THE GODDAMN TIME HEAVENS TO BETSY i don't lie to people i don't steal from them i'm kind of awkward and a little sad definitely someone to abandon keep negative people out of your life you have to choose to be happy |
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06-09-2014, 04:16 PM | #28 |
Shut the fuck up!
Location: "Okay, white power feminist" - yo soy el mejor
Posts: 23,882
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the world belongs to self centered extroverts. like the white people who walk around with "Life is Good" logo'd clothing. if you're an introvert or you don't walk around with a grin on your face, people don't even look at you.
Fixed Margin Last edited by MyOneAndOnly : 06-09-2014 at 07:19 PM. |
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06-09-2014, 04:36 PM | #29 |
Consume my pants.
Location: Missouri
Posts: 36,099
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Sad people don't bother me but it is hard for me to be around supppper quiet people. I get that some people are introverts especially in groups though.
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06-09-2014, 05:07 PM | #30 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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