my foot is 70% paralyzed

[SuckSuckStyle]

bitch ass

[SuckSuckStyle]

the operation went well. my ankle is healing great. it's nice and tight and ready for mountains.

however, something happened during or after the operation that caused nerve damage just above my knee, causing loss of motion/feeling in most of my foot. it was in a certain position too long and caused the nerve to be torn.

i cannot lift my left foot. can only twitch my toes (different nerve). can't tap my foot. can't hold it parallel to the ground if i lift it. when i walk i have to lift with my knee like i'm climbing stairs. i can't turn it. it's pretty much dead. its numb, as well.

have to go get all these nerve tests done to see if it's permanent or if it will grow back.

i don't know that i'll ever be able to run again.

this is such a heavy blow.

[SlingeroGuitaro]

Drop foot?

I know a few people that have gotten it after severe knee injuries from playing football.

[SuckSuckStyle]

Originally Posted by SlingeroGuitaro

Drop foot?

I know a few people that have gotten it after severe knee injuries from playing football.

did they get better?

[Cool As Ice Cream]

that sucks. hopefully the damaged nerves will heal.

[SlingeroGuitaro]

Originally Posted by SuckSuckStyle

did they get better?

i think ive known 3 people that had it. 1 of them was able to continue to play after 2 years of intensive rehab. 1 of them can walk with a limp but still cant raise their toes-some feeling has returned. another one has a dead leg.

[SuckSuckStyle]

goddamn.

this is scary. i had epic trekking planned for this fall.

[D.]

I was planning on living vicariously through your epic trekking!

[duovamp]

I was going to live through D. living through your epitrek.

[JokeyLoki]

Damn. Hope it gets better. I love reading about your adventures.

[Bread Regal]

god damn it. that sucks, man. here's hopin' you recover.

[Trotskilicious]

sorry to hear that dogg

[SuckSuckStyle]

well i mean.....i guess there's never lack of adventure.

a self described lady-boy found me and has been trying to get me drunk and in her bed every other day.

there is a coup going on.

my friends back in malaysia are rallying to raise $8k to bail out 17 transwomen who were arrested for cross dressing.

I'm now in chiang mai. trying to get a 3 hour ride up to pai, where all my stuff is, so i can pack it up to come back to chiang mai and get a flight to KL so i can crash on a couch while i get all these tests done. then I'm packing up all my stuff again and re-locating someplace more permanent where i can work on long-term physical therapy. i want to ******* a holistic approach as well. found a place here in chiang mai that does all that as well as offers courses.

since i won't be adventuring around for a while, i'm thinking of taking some courses to learn something new while i'm stationary.

i'm alone in a country where i know nobody. with a busted foot. there is a possibility that i won't be able to use it again. i have miles and miles to travel before i know anything more.

the other side of adventure.

[SuckSuckStyle]

the lady i lived with in Bali is telling me to move back down there bc she and her friends can help me.

[Elvis The Fat Years]

http://makeameme.org/media/created/And-Im-just.jpg

[SuckSuckStyle]

this was the original plan this year...


autumn in nepal doing the khumbu ....

http://images.summitpost.org/original/748619.jpg

to warm up for spring on the silk road

going through tajikistan...
http://www.climberca.com/ima/Tajikis...trekking15.jpg

then kyrgyzstan

http://jsuniversity.com/wp-content/u...01/681x454.jpg

hit up the kazakhs...

http://www.lonelyplanet.com/travel-b...glencoe_cs.jpg

then head to mongolia....

http://www.altaiexpeditions.com/altaimountains_2358.jpg

then hopping on the trans-siberian and taking that all the way to europe. crash with friends, then fly home.

once completed, i will have circled the globe twice, once in each direction.

i had big, big plans for this year.

[reprise85]

damn man im sorry to hear this

[SuckSuckStyle]

UPDATE:

got back to KL and had the tests done. compression nerve damage just below my knee. it's not torn, just badly compressed from post-op resting positions. my leg had atrophied so much during the 6 weeks on crutches that there was no muscle to protect the nerve.

test results: if my right leg is firing at a 9, my left is a .05

they found this out by first testing my good leg for a base reading....attatched copper nodes connected to a computer to places on my foot, then used a zapper at places around my knee to send "currents" (they don't use the word shock. or electrocute. which is what they did) a few times to each one. then they move the nodes and repeat about 4 times. fucking hell it hurt.

then they did it to my left leg.

then, to find out where the damage was, they stuck long needles into my leg at different points to shock me from the inside.

neurologist says "there's reason to be optimistic"


all this was kinda the last straw for me emotionally....had a lot of other shit go down in my personal life during the past few months, (my insurance company is trying to pull some shit. had a falling out with my boss, quit/lost my job/home, split with my girl) and i'd already thrown up my arms a few times over everything.

decided to take my dad up on his offer to come out to give me a hand/shoulder. what a guy. he met me in KL, helped me pack up my shit, and moved me up to Chiang Mai. I enrolled in holistic treatment and medical qi gong courses to learn chinese medicine. Got an apartment. Live alone. don't know anybody here. i've been getting treatment about 2 weeks now and the improvement is unbelievable. I get acupuncture nearly everyday, massage, thai chi....I can walk, but only with a cane and brace. pretty slow. get tired easily bc i'm still using my whole body for balance when I walk.

gonna take an beginner archery lesson later this week, and there's a muay thai boxing centre across the street from my place that i was thinking of checking out. I just want to get my leg strong again.

surreal times, though. in a way, i kinda crash landed into everything i wanted....my own place. space and time to work on projects. holistic classes (had been wanting to learn for a long time), archery, solitude, asia, cheap healthy living, queer/trans friendly society....

but fuck, at what cost?

still adjusting. went from being in a city with good friends, job, and an able body, to being disabled and completely alone in a new country. in any event, i'm rolling with the punches. trying to stay positive and be happy with what i've got.

this is the first time, though, in all my travels, that i've felt this lonely. it feels really cleansing.

well-deserved heartache and the triumph of survival.

[MyOneAndOnly]

why do you want to be alone in asia? how exactly is that good for your recovery, mental well being etc? How do you travel around the world twice without a job?

[SuckSuckStyle]

Originally Posted by scottytheoneand

why do you want to be alone in asia? how exactly is that good for your recovery, mental well being etc? How do you travel around the world twice without a job?

i enjoy solitude. i wanted a solo adventure. this isn't my first time alone in asia.

it's good for me because i can sort it out on my own. i had been living on the reception floor of my job, stuck there nearly 24/7 due to stairs, dangerous streets, cab drivers who try to rob me, my job, etc. i was never alone, but surrounded by strangers. when i got out, i'd crash with friends. or once a night i'd sneak away and brave the stairs to the roof to smoke a joint. i'm an incredibly independent person. to rely on others as much as i do now, combined with being surrounded by people all the time was driving me mad. literally.

i had a job until my operation that i lived off of/saved.

i grow weed when i'm in the states and use that as savings. i travel cheap.

i'm not complaining, just digesting. just sighing at it all. i know my life is special and i'd never trade it for anything. right now it hurts. but it's a good hurt.

[MyOneAndOnly]

good luck! keep posting the photos!

[D.]

Stfu Scotty

But also

Originally Posted by scottytheoneand

good luck! keep posting the photos!

[whywontyoulistn]

Originally Posted by SuckSuckStyle

hopping on the trans-siberian

lol?

[MyOneAndOnly]

[Mo]

Man, life's really a bitch. I wish you all the best, man, keep your chin up!

[reprise85]

it's good to hear from you... good luck

[noyen]

www.livejournal.com

[Shallowed]

Damn SuckSuckStyle, you've been through a few mishaps, but nothing keeps you down for long. Keep on rocking in the free world.

[slunken]

Originally Posted by Shallowed

Keep on rocking in the free world.

Canada?