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Old 01-16-2018, 12:13 AM   #871
redbreegull
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hey DK, you seem to space your dates out a lot. IIRC you have mentioned a few times going on second dates weeks after the first date. How do you keep someone interested over that period of time? Do you actively text or message each other? IME once you let something lie for more than a few days after just a single date, the odds are pretty low that person will go out with you again. Just curious.

 
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Old 01-16-2018, 12:27 AM   #872
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Yeah, I should probably just let it go. I don't know how much time that will take, because it's been a while, and I'm still bitter.



I did post about the one who said we weren't compatible last year, and one of the people I'm currently seeing (is "seeing" the correct word for when you've gone on a few dates, but aren't in a relationship?) who disclosed insecurities surrounding thinking I'm "really great" (I still can't get over that).

The one I had a row with is the one who does modeling and travels and shit and kind of made me a bit uncomfortable on the second date by talking very openly about sex while we were in a public place. That's the same one I went to that rope bondage seminar with.

Other than that, I haven't previously mentioned the other girls, I don't think.
I didn't mean anything bad by it, ftr. It just seemed like you've said something similar before but then again I probably have about 4 brain cells left so maybe not. I hope you meet someone worthwhile. I haven't had to deal with dating in a while and I forgot how exhausting it can be.

 
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Old 01-16-2018, 12:57 AM   #873
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It must be hard to keep track, forum Mick Hucknall.

 
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Old 01-16-2018, 01:06 AM   #874
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why thank you

 
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Old 01-16-2018, 01:52 AM   #875
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I have a second "date" tomorrow. Not sure about this. Last email she sent me (Friday) had her full info at the end starting with her full name. Which is composed of her first name and her HUSBAND'S last name.

My mother does not approve, btw.

 
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Old 01-16-2018, 02:03 AM   #876
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Has there been no mention of a husband figure so far?

I've known a couple of people that maintained the surname well after separating.

 
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Old 01-16-2018, 02:05 AM   #877
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He abandoned her last summer in Italy. Just walked away. Total tool.

I think my professor hooked us up in part to help her get over him. I think she is still in love with him. She's really fragille.

I am totally at sea here. No idea what I am doing.

 
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Old 01-16-2018, 03:58 AM   #878
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I think most of them would appreciate it. Especially with platonic friendships. With romantic relationships, there's always the possibility that they've moved on already.

I mean, people like having friends, so if they enjoyed the time you spent together, there's no reason they wouldn't want to get back in touch. Being busy could prevent that desire from coming to fruition, though. But that doesn't mean they aren't interested in rekindling the friendship.
In my case it's a little more complicated. A few of those people had expressed romantic interest in me, and I didn't have any romantic interest in them. I still like them as people and would very much like to remain platonic friends.
But that can be a big ask and imposing on other people's feelings which is why it's super scary for me to try and reconnect with them.
Sometimes you just can't.

 
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Old 01-17-2018, 06:13 PM   #879
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In my case it's a little more complicated. A few of those people had expressed romantic interest in me, and I didn't have any romantic interest in them. I still like them as people and would very much like to remain platonic friends.
But that can be a big ask and imposing on other people's feelings which is why it's super scary for me to try and reconnect with them.
Sometimes you just can't.
Ah, I see. I would probably still be down to be friends with somebody I was interested in, but I can see how that would be harder if the person were, like, deeply in love, rather than just fancying the other person. It might be better to cut things off in that case.

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Originally Posted by ilikeplanets View Post
I didn't mean anything bad by it, ftr. It just seemed like you've said something similar before but then again I probably have about 4 brain cells left so maybe not. I hope you meet someone worthwhile. I haven't had to deal with dating in a while and I forgot how exhausting it can be.
I didn't interpret anything in your post negatively. Hopefully I didn't come across as though I did.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redbreegull View Post
hey DK, you seem to space your dates out a lot. IIRC you have mentioned a few times going on second dates weeks after the first date. How do you keep someone interested over that period of time? Do you actively text or message each other? IME once you let something lie for more than a few days after just a single date, the odds are pretty low that person will go out with you again. Just curious.
I'm not a big fan of texting, so I pretty much only use it for setting up in-person meetings. I just feel like very little substantial conversation can happen over text, and it just turns into that boring kinda small talk for the sake of it.

Sometimes I could go days, even a week or two, without texting. I'm pretty good at not ignoring texts because I try to be courteous, but it the text I received doesn't have any kind of question or promising leads to a conversation thread, there's not a lot of urgency to respond. And half the time, I was the last person to send a text anyway, so it's not like I'm leaving the other person hanging.

But you could be right, maybe I'm killing the interest by not texting more. It's just that, if I already know my schedule is kinda busy for the next little while and I don't know when I will next be free for a date, since I only really text to set up dates, I have nothing to text about. If I know about something she's up to, like she mentioned having an upcoming wedding or trip or birthday or whatever, I'll text to find out how that went.

Looking back, this probably explains why I got no response from this one girl met on the train and took out once, because I didn't ask for the next date until a ten days after the first. I wasn't that disappointed, because she didn't seem my type on the date (seemed like a "party girl"), but she was open to doing psychedelics with me, so she could have been a cool drug friend or something.

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 12:31 AM   #880
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I'm much more comfortable in text I try to prolong that communication until a positive date is all but assured

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 01:46 AM   #881
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I am getting high at midnight and listening to Burzum.

lol

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 07:36 AM   #882
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I've been hacked by a turkish cult, no big deal.

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 11:07 AM   #883
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nevermind

Last edited by vixnix : 01-18-2018 at 11:24 AM.

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 11:07 AM   #884
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clears throat

Last edited by vixnix : 01-18-2018 at 11:24 AM.

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 11:08 AM   #885
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merely a trifle

Last edited by vixnix : 01-18-2018 at 11:25 AM.

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 11:35 AM   #886
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mmm... trifle...

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 11:43 AM   #887
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so many delicious varieties

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 12:37 PM   #888
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Then why did you post that bad looking one??

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 05:29 PM   #889
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HELL.

YES.

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 06:22 PM   #890
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Shepherds pie? In a cocktail glass?

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 06:38 PM   #891
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I do prefer a dry cocktail.

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 07:33 PM   #892
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Ouch!

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 08:14 PM   #893
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That's just way too big.

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 08:15 PM   #894
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yadda yadda what she said yadda yadda

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 08:15 PM   #895
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pastry > glass

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 08:46 PM   #896
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Old 01-18-2018, 08:50 PM   #897
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you wish

 
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Old 01-18-2018, 09:07 PM   #898
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I'm in London in a sketchy airbnb. I got sick yesterday and spent today in bed, letting the AIDS fully take a hold of my body. I kind of need to be better for tomorrow for some more recordings.

I completely realize how it must have been to be Freddie Mercury recording the final Queen albums though, which is a very important experience to meeeee, to me. Anyway the wind blows.
Do a Fred and drink lots of Vodka.

 
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