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Old 06-22-2020, 09:02 AM   #1
Candy Cane
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Default Candy Cane has died.

Hello, my name is Sadesh Zendaya Tanasugarn, sister and occasional lover of Eldritch Emeritus Tanasugarn the third, who you guys probably knew as Candy Cane.

I just wanted to let you know that my brother was found dead last week in what was believed to be a sadomasochistic bondage session gone wrong.

The details aren't exactly clear at the moment, but we believe he ingested a deadly combo of poppers, meth and cocaine (actually talcum powder) and choked on vomit (whose vomit, is at this juncture, a matter of debate).

His transgender sex partners called the emergency services but it was too late-he was pronounced dead at the scene wearing nothing but his self-made cotton deer mask, leather Smashing Pumpkins Zero underwear and black t-shirt with "Jeff The Shredder Schroeder" emblazoned across the front in pink permanent magic marker.

Why am I telling you this? Well his last words were "Grease up the tire pump a bit more, Cherry" which is irrelevant but earlier in the day, before he died, he told me of his love of the "Netphoria gang" and their 'crazy, whacky ways" so here I am. He would have wanted to say goodbye to you guys.

He loved The Smashing Pumpkins dearly and although their recent output and in particular Billy's last solo album is what we suspect may have pushed him into pursuing drugs, ditching his wife and kids and spending his days in dungeons with dodgy characters of dubious and indistinguishable sex, we will still play his favourite Corgan penned tunes at his funeral--"Bugg Superstar", "Where's Vince" and "Clones (We're All)". His coffin will also be carted to his resting place in a dune buggy.

Sorry I had to break this news to all of you. As you can expect we're all devastated by the loss of our loved one. I ask that you respect our privacy at this moment but if you have any memories of Eldritch and would like to share please do and we'll read them out at the memorial service which will be held in a few days. You are all invited of course.***

-Sadesh

***Tea and catering will be arranged by Madame Zuzu's and a poem from Blinking With Fists will be read aloud in honour...just to warn you.


Eldritch circa 1998, from the family album.

 
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Old 06-22-2020, 09:05 AM   #2
MyOneAndOnly
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Lock and Ban

 
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Old 06-22-2020, 09:53 AM   #3
yo soy el mejor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Candy Cane View Post

Eldritch circa 1998, from the family album.
OOPS the url for the photo is funny-embarrassing-childhood-photos-kids-looking-older


 
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Old 06-22-2020, 10:01 AM   #4
Joey Goldberg
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is this the worst thread of the year?

 
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Old 06-22-2020, 12:52 PM   #5
smashingjj
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MyOneAndOnly View Post


Lock and Ban
Why? They're dead anyway

 
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Old 06-22-2020, 12:56 PM   #6
Candy Cane
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Please, my brother has died. I didn't expect this sort of heartless response; it's like the emergency room all over again.

 
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Old 06-22-2020, 01:00 PM   #7
Candy Cane
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For those of you who do care about Eldritch I will continue to post updates as to what happened as soon as I get them.

xxx
Sadesh

 
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Old 06-22-2020, 01:11 PM   #8
yo soy el mejor
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wrong forum

 
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Old 06-22-2020, 01:36 PM   #9
Joey Goldberg
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alt response:


 
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Old 06-22-2020, 01:40 PM   #10
MyOneAndOnly
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the trans reference in the shit post above is not funny.

Lock the thread

 
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Old 06-22-2020, 01:44 PM   #11
FoolofaTook
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Old 06-22-2020, 02:40 PM   #12
pavementtune
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MyOneAndOnly View Post
the trans reference in the shit post above is not funny.

Lock the thread
I'll leave the post as it is, sh sh sh sh for shame.

Go fuck yourself, Candy Cane.

 
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