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01-12-2016, 10:37 PM | #1 |
Socialphobic
Location: we are champions, bathed in the heat of a thousand flame wars in the grim future of the internet there is only netphoria
Posts: 12,467
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I booked my open mic stand up comedy slot
Which parts of my vixnix persona do you think are the funniest?
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01-12-2016, 10:38 PM | #2 |
Socialphobic
Location: we are champions, bathed in the heat of a thousand flame wars in the grim future of the internet there is only netphoria
Posts: 12,467
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Feel free to use quotes.
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01-13-2016, 12:20 AM | #3 |
BOTTLEG ILLEGAL
Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face
Posts: 32,800
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euthanasia for pedophiles. stress how it's not the death penalty because we'd keep them comfortable before we kill them.
also that you have a fund for your sons' future therapy |
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01-13-2016, 12:56 AM | #4 |
Braindead
Location: PROWLING THE BADLANDS
Posts: 17,399
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i was a big fan of 'oh go cry into a taco you lonely old man'
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01-13-2016, 01:28 AM | #5 |
Socialphobic
Location: montreal
Posts: 11,676
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75 trimester abortions! if you're legally responsible for them until they're 18, you should be able to do what you want with em!
math: (18 x 4) + 3 = 75 |
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01-13-2016, 02:07 AM | #6 |
Minion of Satan
Location: Banned
Posts: 8,874
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Reprise stole my favorite episode, and I'm not allowed to even rep her for it without spreading it around first, which makes it doubly unfair.
Talk about the thing about your husband "mixing his 'gasms." It actually genuinely made me sad because it sounds really shitty to live with a person who does gross things without paying mind to his partner's comfort, but I'm sure the average person will laugh at somebody masturbating while eating a sandwich. Also, use the term hoi polloi at least once. |
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01-13-2016, 03:55 AM | #7 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: František! How's the foot of your turtle?
Posts: 32,743
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talk about what you cook your kids for breakfast and what you pack them for lunch.
sooo funny. |
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01-13-2016, 04:05 AM | #8 |
Socialphobic
Location: we are champions, bathed in the heat of a thousand flame wars in the grim future of the internet there is only netphoria
Posts: 12,467
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I truthfully had not considered any of this material. Which isn't to say you guys are barking up the wrong tree by suggesting it, by the way. But I don't think I have the skill yet, to get laughs out of that stuff.
I was thinking of bringing up gluing puzzles to 'preserve your work', though. |
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01-13-2016, 02:57 PM | #9 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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pegging. most definitely pegging.
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01-13-2016, 09:27 PM | #10 |
Braindead
Location: PROWLING THE BADLANDS
Posts: 17,399
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vix does your internet persona translate into quick, cutting wit irl?
honest question |
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01-13-2016, 09:48 PM | #11 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: N3t4Euh Haus
Posts: 32,752
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people always seem to think it's funny when comics go on long diatribes about basically mundane every-day occurrences that have some kind of strange twist or are over-analyzed until the basically normal scenario starts to seem weird. you already engage in this sort of thing to a certain extent. but instead of being defensive, be self-deprecating and biting towards others, like oh my god can you believe this is my life let me tell you about sandwich masturbation and how every time it rains the gutter floods our house. but you know, funnier.
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01-13-2016, 09:57 PM | #12 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: N3t4Euh Haus
Posts: 32,752
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I also lolled that time you told trotskilicious to go home because his mother baked a fish
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01-13-2016, 10:10 PM | #13 |
Braindead
Location: TX
Posts: 16,289
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I was so bummed when I saw this wasn't a Fuzzy thread
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01-13-2016, 10:33 PM | #14 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Posts: 2,173
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So this is something she booked in advance? Is this a mother-son family picnic sort of thing?
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01-13-2016, 10:43 PM | #15 | |
Apocalyptic Poster
Posts: 2,173
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Quote:
Is this one of your jokes? |
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01-13-2016, 11:50 PM | #16 |
Braindead
Location: PROWLING THE BADLANDS
Posts: 17,399
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01-13-2016, 11:51 PM | #17 |
Braindead
Location: PROWLING THE BADLANDS
Posts: 17,399
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you sorry bunch of kankerlijers
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01-14-2016, 01:12 AM | #18 | ||
Socialphobic
Location: we are champions, bathed in the heat of a thousand flame wars in the grim future of the internet there is only netphoria
Posts: 12,467
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Quote:
Quote:
Yes Yeah I can't take any credit for that. Speaking of Trots though, he did on several occasions vouch for my wit and forgive me my many other foibles because of it. So ythat gives me some encouragement even if the rest of you dry toast type white folks can't see my humour through my trolling. |
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01-14-2016, 12:07 PM | #19 |
*****
Posts: 15,731
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Please record it so we can see this.
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01-15-2016, 03:11 AM | #20 |
Socialphobic
Location: we are champions, bathed in the heat of a thousand flame wars in the grim future of the internet there is only netphoria
Posts: 12,467
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I would love for it to be recorded but the venue doesn't allow it without their permission and then only through their preferred recording company, which is more $$$ than I can bear to spend.
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01-15-2016, 03:19 AM | #21 |
Minion of Satan
Location: Banned
Posts: 8,874
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You know what's crazy? Old food products are hot on the collector's market. The other day I lucked out when I was digging on my property and Crystal Pepsi started spurting out.
Ever realize how much air is in chip bags? Like, I mean, why? It's just a rip off. Like, I can already breathe air whenever I want. It's chips I want. Thank you, you've been great. |
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01-15-2016, 03:40 AM | #22 |
Pledge
Posts: 52
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please join a comedy troupe. standup is very uncomfortable. there is safety in numbers.
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01-15-2016, 10:45 AM | #23 |
Banned
Posts: 21,169
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01-15-2016, 10:48 AM | #24 | |
Banned
Posts: 21,169
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Quote:
I've worked on material on and off, and kind of let the idea slide a bit, but I might jump into it in the new year... Who knows, people might actually have a few laughs and it would be dumb to waste the mental energy I've put into the thought behind it. |
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01-15-2016, 10:49 AM | #25 | |
Banned
Posts: 21,169
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Quote:
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01-15-2016, 11:00 AM | #26 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: František! How's the foot of your turtle?
Posts: 32,743
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01-15-2016, 12:57 PM | #27 | |
Minion of Satan
Location: Banned
Posts: 8,874
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Quote:
Most of it was those kind of Emo Phillips-esque garden path jokes or bait-and-switches that I feel like would get predictable after the audience starts to clue in on what you're doing and tries to guess the punchline. Listen to this man. Plus, if you did waste it that energy, it would be bad for the environment. |
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01-15-2016, 12:58 PM | #28 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Posts: 2,173
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01-15-2016, 01:48 PM | #29 | |
Banned
Posts: 21,169
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Quote:
I'm a consummate entertainer really, any method that I put my mind too usually provides entertainment |
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01-15-2016, 03:09 PM | #30 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: all over the Internet
Posts: 44,548
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whatever, ol' boring ass.
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