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Old 05-13-2014, 02:13 PM   #1
killtrocity
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Default Weird shit your roommate does

1) Every time I use the shower after him, the shower head is pointing straight down, parallel to the wall. In order to get under the shower head, one would literally have to squat down and press one's body against the wall.

2) One morning, I went downstairs at 6AM to find my roommate sitting upright, cross-legged on the couch, in the dark. At this point, I turned on the lights, and he WOKE UP, and I said "what the hell are you doing?" And he says" I must have dozed off".



Do you guys have any weird roommates?

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 02:15 PM   #2
Order 66
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yeah my mom does all kinds of crazy shit

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 02:33 PM   #3
killtrocity
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Old 05-13-2014, 02:37 PM   #4
Order 66
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wanted to see if anybody got that reference

http://gifatron.com/wp-content/uploa...2/12/uCmIF.gif

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 04:25 PM   #5
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last roommate i had pissed in gatorade bottles and never left his room. when i left he had like 50 of them in his room. fucking weird.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 05:06 PM   #6
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that is weird. i fill mine with cum and my tears like a normal person.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 05:37 PM   #7
The exploding boy
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TLDR AHEAD

I forget the number now cause i've been living without roommates for the past 6 years but in the first 5 years I lived in mtl I had something around 30 roommates. No shit. Mainly because two of the apt I had were pretty much revolving door and we were either 4 or 5 people living together. So yeah I have a few stories.

-Roommate that stays a month, gives us a check that bounces and disappears.

-The guy who wouldn't do any houses chores because he claimed he didn't use anything. Not even the garbage (so no taking garbage out). Which was of course bullshit. He was loaded with cash and didn't have anything in his room and was the cheapest guy I've known and called his cute and nice gf his p**** when she wasn't around. Creepy little guy he was too. Had a face meant for fists. he didn't stay long when the lease passed to me.

-The newly arrived chinese roommate who wanted me to give him French classes and he would lower my rent (he was the only one on the lease) and then the time I did give him French lessons he started touching my legs (turns out I preferred my rent to be what it was, i'm not a prosti). Then when I moved out he wanted to have a dinner with me probably to tell me he loved me. I declined. the weird thing I outside of that he tried to get girls to go out with him (failed). I guess he wasn't out to himself.

-Roommate who would decide to have improptu parties until 4am. Nevermind that the neighbors complained to me directly.

-The roommate who was a "dj" and absolutely had to "practice" his set in the house at full volume and THEN would tell me to turn down the tv in the evening.

-The swiss girl you could hear fucking through the walls with graphic details as to what was happening (i could hear her talk). she also tended to leave her dirty panties in places that weren't her room and I SWEAR she did this on purpose. She was a rich bitch who was slumming it cause it made her think that made her interesting. Her dad was absolutely loaded.

Some more I forget. You name them I've had them.

I'm gonna skip the time I lived with an ex plus one roommate after we had split cause that's too long to detail.

After that I lived with a guy that was about as antisocial as me and a bit of a conspiracy theory nut. Bad idea. He basically found ways to get annoyed with me despite me trying my best. Then I met my gf while I still lived there, I asked him if it was ok if she would come over for 2 or 3 days. Sure he said. Nevermind i'd never brought anyone home and he often had friends over. We kept quiet and to ourselves, tried to be around as least as possible. One the second day she's there he knocks on my door, "hey, can I see your lease, need it for my financial aid application" (he was going back to school through some government program, the thing is he was on the lease but id signed on with him as a roommate). Sure i say, I hand it to him, he grabs it, rips it apart in front of me and new gf and says "I want you out of here in two weeks." No explanation. So I was out of there in two weeks. this was the last time I had a roommate.

Never. Again.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 05:44 PM   #8
The exploding boy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noyen View Post
last roommate i had pissed in gatorade bottles and never left his room. when i left he had like 50 of them in his room. fucking weird.
I do this when im sick. Like earlier this eyar I had the worst flu and basically couldn't leave the room. Weird thing is if you pee in them and they still have like drops of Gatorade in, I swear the piss takes the same color as Gatorade (I thought it was just beause i was drinking the Gatorade but no as I did this again recently and it had been days since i'd drank the thing). I had to make a mental note which ones were the ones I peed in and which ones had actual Gatorade cause when you have the flu and cant smell, not sure i'd have known the difference until it got into my mouth...

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 05:48 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by The exploding boy View Post
I do this when im sick. Like earlier this eyar I had the worst flu and basically couldn't leave the room. Weird thing is if you pee in them and they still have like drops of Gatorade in, I swear the piss takes the same color as Gatorade (I thought it was just beause i was drinking the Gatorade but no as I did this again recently and it had been days since i'd drank the thing). I had to make a mental note which ones were the ones I peed in and which ones had actual Gatorade cause when you have the flu and cant smell, not sure i'd have known the difference until it got into my mouth...
this kid had no excuse other than he was too drunk or high to move i suppose and was so terrified to confront me on any level. the smell i will never forget. mold growing in some of them. empty jamesons bottles filled with piss. most foul human i've ever lived with.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 06:01 PM   #10
yo soy el mejor
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falling asleep on the couch is no big deal. don't be such a bad dad.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 06:04 PM   #11
yo soy el mejor
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my roommate did lots of coke and had a large plug-in vibrator and literotica under her bed. we never had any problems because she really never put me out except that one time she brought home a guy at 7am after a night of partying who didn't speak english (which is all she speaks) and kept yelling at him.

we were like sisters.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 07:17 PM   #12
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eats food off the floor. never cleans up the bathroom. never showers, only baths. doesn't brush her hair. can never predict when she'll be awake or asleep.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 07:29 PM   #13
slunken
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runs and stomps down the stairs.
piles a million dishes into both sinks, which i keep moving to one sink.
will literally stockpile dirty dishes in his room for months at a time (i use 2 plates, 2 bowls, 2 spoons, 2 knives and 2 glasses which i have to keep separate on a shelf)
never cleans up after himself in the kitchen.
never cleans up after himself after electric shaving.
never cleans his cats litter boxes.
keeps his motorcycle on the walk leading to the front porch thus blocking the walkway

christ i could probably go on

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 07:32 PM   #14
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dude is a major slob/hoarder. when there's no one staying in one of the extra rooms he will start moving shit into that spare room in order to clean another one and eventually the once clean room will turn into a hoarded mess while the room "to be cleaned" is left half finished for months at a time.

the other day he was de-feathering stuffed pheasants and using the mattress in the room as a table. i guess just because he didn't have a clean surface anywhere else.

ugh fuck.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 07:34 PM   #15
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the fridge has 4 shelves. i use one of those. for some reason though the other three are not enough for him and he will start using my space as well. why? simply because its neat and tidy and it looks like there's room. i promptly take whatever he set there and chuck it on the bottom shelf every time.

i need to move but rent is soooooooo cheap.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 07:34 PM   #16
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i see shades of myself in all these descriptions. i feel so bad for anyone who had to live with me in the past.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 07:35 PM   #17
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ask me questions that you want to ask your roommates and i can probably answer them for your.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 07:37 PM   #18
slunken
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to be fair this is a studio space and he owns the house. i don't feel right complaining about how he keeps his kitchen. i'm just using it, you know?

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 07:37 PM   #19
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i would love to have a "she's been eating my yoplait!" situation

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 07:41 PM   #20
killtrocity
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Most of these things aren't that weird. Your roommates are just inconsiderate slobs.

Aside from making colored pee in bottles and... defeathering stuffed pheasants?

except for exploding boy's, those are really weird

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 07:44 PM   #21
slunken
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Originally Posted by killtrocity View Post
defeathering stuffed pheasants?
he's a taxidermist.

i say he's a butcher. i see the process.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 07:49 PM   #22
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oh i thought of another one:

he goes through an ungodly amount of toilet paper. as an experiment, when i pick up a 4-pack i'll take one roll upstairs and only use that. he will go through 2 whole rolls before i'm even thinking about starting another one.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 08:16 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by killtrocity View Post
1) Every time I use the shower after him, the shower head is pointing straight down, parallel to the wall. In order to get under the shower head, one would literally have to squat down and press one's body against the wall.
My wife does that. Its annoying.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 08:17 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by slunken View Post
oh i thought of another one:

he goes through an ungodly amount of toilet paper. as an experiment, when i pick up a 4-pack i'll take one roll upstairs and only use that. he will go through 2 whole rolls before i'm even thinking about starting another one.
My wife does that. Its annoying.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 08:19 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by slunken View Post
the fridge has 4 shelves. i use one of those. for some reason though the other three are not enough for him and he will start using my space as well. why? simply because its neat and tidy and it looks like there's room. i promptly take whatever he set there and chuck it on the bottom shelf every time.

i need to move but rent is soooooooo cheap.
My wife does that. So annoying.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 08:21 PM   #26
slunken
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Originally Posted by scottytheoneand View Post
My wife does that. Its annoying.
hopefully she's wrapping her tampons and throwing them in the trash like a civilized adult. i once had to talk to a gf about how its not a good idea to flush her sanitary napkins after the commode kept clogging. i knew what was up instantly, after working in a restaurant and magically every mothers day the womens toilet would go out of order.

"ITS BECAUSE OF THOSE BEASTS FLUSHING THEIR BLOODY PLUGS" our gm would cry.

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 08:22 PM   #27
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she was very embarrassed needless to say

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 08:35 PM   #28
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thelast time my rm decided to clean his cat boxes i guess a hole was in the trash bag and there was a steady line of litter leading from the bottom of the stairs all the way outside, down the porch st eps and to the trash can

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 08:36 PM   #29
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i was all like r u fucking serious guy

 
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Old 05-13-2014, 09:05 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slunken View Post
runs and stomps down the stairs.
I fucking hate elephant feet. One of my flatmates stomps around the house all the time, slamming doors and shit, even in the morning.

He also talks over me, like I'm trying to tell him something and he always tries to finish my sentences.

 
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