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Old 03-16-2018, 05:03 PM   #1171
slunken
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Old 03-16-2018, 05:59 PM   #1172
Disco King
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I work the late shift tonight, and the early shift tomorrow.

And I might go to a show tonight.

I am going to die.

 
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Old 03-16-2018, 06:22 PM   #1173
Skradgee
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But first you will be living like you're alive.

What's the show?

 
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Old 03-16-2018, 08:10 PM   #1174
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Wait, you're working and going to a show?

 
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Old 03-16-2018, 08:48 PM   #1175
slunken
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WAIT

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 01:12 AM   #1176
Shallowed
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My girlfriend of five years broke up with me today.

Time to move back into my parent's house in a shitty backwater country town.

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 01:18 AM   #1177
Shallowed
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And listen to Loveless and Siamese Dream on repeat

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 02:44 AM   #1178
Disco King
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That sucks, my man. Did she cite a reason, or was it more of a "I don't have feelings for you anymore" deal?

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 03:08 AM   #1179
Shallowed
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.

Last edited by Shallowed : 05-10-2022 at 06:14 AM.

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 04:15 AM   #1180
reprise85
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I'm sorry, shallowed

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 04:30 AM   #1181
Cool As Ice Cream
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i'm sorry, too, j. that sucks.

i'm sure fuzzy could give you some heartfelt and solid advice on how to deal with this.

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 04:35 AM   #1182
Shallowed
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Just gotta lower my standers, right

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 04:47 AM   #1183
Cool As Ice Cream
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i don't know. he's the master. i'm also curious what he'll come up with.

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 07:36 AM   #1184
FlamingGlobes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LaBelle View Post
Like, by itself?
Yes.

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 07:37 AM   #1185
FlamingGlobes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buzzard View Post
Roasted and drizzled with sesame oil?
Yes.

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 07:38 AM   #1186
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My advice: eat more broccoli​.

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 08:32 AM   #1187
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shallowed View Post
Just gotta lower my standers, right
Also: get em drunk.

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 08:47 AM   #1188
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Old 03-17-2018, 10:22 AM   #1189
teh b0lly!!1
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shallowed i'm sorry, dude. it sounds like you're going through a rough patch, one of those times that show up in your life every few years and just wreck everything and leave you to your own devices to rebuild.

i know it's hard to appreciate right now, but at least you got a dignified goodbye with some closure (hopefully). when i went through mine she essentially ghosted me one summer day. the sheer shock of it and the screaming activation of every withdrawal mechanism going off at once - it was brutal. i know you must be feeling like shit right now. what are your plans in like, the immediate future? seeing as you guys lived together for a while there's probably a lease to get rid of/possessions to be taken care of/etc?

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 03:21 PM   #1190
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I can imagine that having one of your few supports abandon you would be pretty hard. Especially because it makes you feel like a burden and makes you question your worth.

You mention your only other supports being family and your therapist. Is that because you haven't many friends, or because the friends you do have aren't the sort you can confide in?

If it's the former, I think making friends would be a step in the right direction, even if they're not the sort that you disclose your problems to. I find that even though none of my friends are really confidantes, hanging out with them still helps, because they at least serve as a distraction. On top of that, having people who actually want to be around me challenges my feelings of worthlessness.

Has to be the right sort of friends, though. The people I hung out with when I was younger, say, high school, did not have as therapeutic an effect on me.

There's really nothing you can do to make yourself happier in the short term, so all you can do is distract yourself as time slowly fills the aching, I think. Distract yourself with things that require effort and aren't immediately rewarding, though, or else you'll just end up spending everyday playing video games, masturbating, and refreshing Netphoria like a rat drinking dopamine.

I don't know why I'm giving advice as if I know what I'm talking about. Hope it helps by total accident, though.

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 03:26 PM   #1191
Disco King
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It's okay to try to give advice now that Trots isn't here, right? Like, even if it isn't particularly useful, so long as it's in good faith and isn't fuzztastically insulting or disingenuous, I won't get yelled at for it, right?

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 03:45 PM   #1192
FlamingGlobes
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Even if he was here, fuck that guy. You gave solid advice.

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 04:16 PM   #1193
Shallowed
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Disco King View Post
If it's the former, I think making friends would be a step in the right direction, even if they're not the sort that you disclose your problems to. I find that even though none of my friends are really confidantes, hanging out with them still helps, because they at least serve as a distraction. On top of that, having people who actually want to be around me challenges my feelings of worthlessness.
Yes, it is the former. I've been meaning to reconnect with a couple of old buddies for a while, who luckily are the type who I feel I can confide in, even after having not seen them for a long time. I sent off some messages last night and should be meeting up again soon, once our schedules align.

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 06:11 PM   #1194
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shallowed View Post
Yes, it is the former. I've been meaning to reconnect with a couple of old buddies for a while, who luckily are the type who I feel I can confide in, even after having not seen them for a long time. I sent off some messages last night and should be meeting up again soon, once our schedules align.
That's good. I'm sure you are going through hell right now, but reaching out to others is definitely helpful.

Although I'm still not clear on everything, my longest relationship (4 years) failed in part because my mental health and inability to seek help was a burden on my girlfriend. My situation was different than yours, but in a vague sort of way I think I have an idea of what you are going through. I know it doesn't help much right now, but this experience did cause me to come out the other side as a more self-sufficient person who is more driven to try and combat my depression. hang in there dude.

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 06:44 PM   #1195
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It's good that you're self-reflecting about why she left - your brain is trying to make you learn from any fuckups.

All the bad things you feel right now are a testament to how good the relationship was. Life tends to even out after some time. Don't feel bad about yourself - it just seems like she couldn't handle the demands of a relationship right now, regardless of who it's with

Last edited by Ram27 : 03-17-2018 at 08:24 PM.

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 07:38 PM   #1196
run2pee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shallowed View Post
My girlfriend of five years broke up with me today.

Time to move back into my parent's house in a shitty backwater country town.
Hi

Sorry

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 08:07 PM   #1197
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sorry shallowed.

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 08:31 PM   #1198
Shallowed
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Thanks for the kind words everyone

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 10:27 PM   #1199
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Sorry man... Lord knows it hurts to have your heart break.... Just remember that humans are resilient and can withstand a lot of pain. It might seem crushing now, but you're a reasonably good looking guy with an above average intelligence. You never know, one day you might look back on this loss as something of a blessing in disguise.

 
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Old 03-17-2018, 11:00 PM   #1200
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damn it that really sucks. i have confidence that you'll be able to pick yourself back up and move on to bigger and better things, however.

 
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