the NO MORE EXCUSES chat thread

[teh b0lly!!1]

we don't need to have a reason to make another chat thread

did u guys miss me

[teh b0lly!!1]

i've had quite a few days

i'll probably write a lengthy, deliciously tldr post about it soon.

[buzzard]

Hey, look.

It's fuckin' Bao-Breath McGweilo.

[teh b0lly!!1]

it's Five-Spice Hongqiao, motherfucker.

[reprise85]

welcome back teh b0lly!!1

[dreams of glass]

what up bolly

[LaBelle]

Sorry I couldn't make it to this thread on time because flattire/dogatehomework/overslept/catgonemissing/stuckintraffic/busbrokedown

kthxbie

[FlamingGlobes]

[teh b0lly!!1]

i was actually more like

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6...600/Live8j.jpg

"there are kids dying in Africa! let's all get together to throw a lavish rock concert and sing about our privileged white ailments and firstworldproblems!"

[ilikeplanets]

I need to work on impulse control, no excuses

[ilikeplanets]

I cannot hold on to money, just cannot

[cork_soaker]

may i be excused?

[teh b0lly!!1]

"this next songs goes out to everyone who is dying of hunger out there in africa...
i wrote this one day when i felt lonely, after the restaurant i went to didn't have the chateau bordeaux i wanted"

[LaBelle]

http://m.memegen.com/3ghsfj.jpg

[Cool As Ice Cream]

have you written your lenghty post already?

i was away for a couple of days.

[teh b0lly!!1]

HI CAIC WHERE WERE YOU MAN
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT LEAVING U R LIKE MY ONLY FRIEND HERE HA HA
NOT THAT I'M UPTIGHT OR ANYTHING BUT IT WOULD BE SUPER SAD TO C U GO
ALL CASUAL BRO NO PRESSURE
NICE TO HAVE U BACK!

[Cool As Ice Cream]

i was in morocco

[teh b0lly!!1]

how was it?

i'll write my lengthy post on sunday.

[Cool As Ice Cream]

it was ok
the weather was nice
some people were nice, others were a bit annoying
i saw nice things and had a good time
and it was a new experience for me

[Cool As Ice Cream]

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1

i'll write my lengthy post on sunday.

WAIT A MINUTE

[cork_soaker]

morocc 'n' roll

[cork_soaker]

which cities did you visit?

asking for a school friend

[cork_soaker]

why do you ask

[Cool As Ice Cream]

just marrakesh, only for a couple of days
and a short visit to essaouira

[FoolofaTook]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...1eb91b72e2.jpg

[FoolofaTook]

Originally Posted by Poots

cork soaker, do you by any chance drive a van that looks like this?:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KB3B5kKykB...s-rape-van.jpg

Holy fuck. That's is ubermegasenescentness right there, for real.

[ilikeplanets]

I kind of like it but I refuse to own a car that attracts attention

[cork_soaker]

and why do you suspect my involvement

this all seems very sudden

[teh b0lly!!1]

ok, trying not to sound like a 'wish u were here' postcard or something here.
here are some select stories from since my arrival.

so after a full 24-day travel day (israel to russia, russia to shanghai) that was trying but much better than my last journey, i landed in shanghai. last time i had a friend of mine pick me up at the airport, but this time i was on my own. it felt quite different, so right off the bat, this upcoming stay in china started on a note of being a more independent one. instead of spending like 200 kuai on a taxi, i thought to myself 'shit yea mofo, i be swimmin like a fish here them shanghainese water, i can pull of a metro ride'. so i did. fast forward two hours - one of the worst decisions i had made in a while. i had two huge 23 kg suitcases, a backpack, and a guitar with me. just imagine getting all that shit past the metro entrance gates, let alone the fucking long ass ride. i paid in full for my vanity there - but at least i got a workout.

i met up with my airbnb hostess, who took (lololo) me to the apartment i had reserved from her. she told me it was her friends', but i know she has like 12 other places listed on her airbnb account, so she probably does this shit for a living or whatever. the place was a total fucking shithole - very far from what the pictures suggested. no windows (or more accurately - window to a cellar, which she didn't point out in the ad), very dingy, dank (not to be confused with dank trees, which is good) and unpleasant. i was too tired to express my disdain to her, so i just let her go - BUT... in the next few days, i would discover that the fucking air conditioner leaks what seems to be a 1.5L bottle of water per 30 minutes, and much, much worse - whenever the upstairs neighbour flushed his toilet... there would be a disgusting stream of dirty water in my shower.

now, i'm not sure if it was his actual shit that ended up in my shower. it was either shit or dust and small rocks. but i wasn't gonna find out - i talked to this girl again, said that this is unacceptable, i want a discount on my rate. by that time i was approaching the end of my stay (had like 4 days to go) so i just stuck it out while i kept searching for an apartment, and she agreed to refund like 20% of my money (like 500 kuai), which is what i asked for. i probably could have gotten considerably more, but she was nice and very apologetic and just yeah whatever i'm too nice for my own good (which brings me to my next story - for tldr skippers, not blamin' ya).

so to look for apartments, i went to the same guy i went to last year - he got me a pretty nice apartment, that although noisy, had a crazy nice location, was mostly new, and had everything i needed. he was all happy to see me, 'ah ah you are my friend-ah', and started showing me apartments. after a few days of searching, i settled on one - that's pretty great, although it's sixth floor, no elevator. the place is all newly renovated, so it was still missing some stuff - laundry hangers, a tv. it had a goddamn closet that had NO SHELVES in it. how does that even make any fucking sense? it was just a huge wooden unit standing in the room with nothing inside. no sofa to sit on or to have friends over.

anyway, i make a list of shit i want him to take care of, he reassures me everything will be fine by the time i move in. when the appropriate day comes, i sign the contract, much like i did last year, trusting him to have taken care of everything. i get my stuff, go into the apartment - -

well, you already know. the tv is insultingly small, the closet still has no shelves (actually, better yet - somebody installed two shelves well over 1.85 cm high), shitty small laundry hooks with no place to put a pole on, etc etc. i was outraged but i couldn't really do much about it, because my communication with this guy is half broken english (on his part), half slow and limited chinese (on my part). you can't get things going like that.

enter L - my chinese (lady) friend. she is one of the girls i used to hang out\sleep with last year, and i'm still very good friends with her. i asked her to come over to help me in translation and stuff. lol dude, you don't even know. she just came over and ripped him up to pieces. she started raining super fast chinese on his ass, 'what about this' 'what about that' 'why should i take care of this, thats your job' 'now you go back there and do this', the guy was just stunned, he had no idea what brought on this incredible turnaround, lol. he just figured i'd be easy to fuck with because i can't fight back.

within like 30 minutes my apartment had like 4 chinese guys fixing stuff up and taking care of shit. i got a new, bigger and better tv, the agency guy went to buy shelves and a laundry pole, two guys came over to bring a sofa, etc etc.

the problem is, i always, always try to not be one of those aggressive people, and to settle everything in a kind way. but people see this as a weakness. and i guess it kind of is - it has worked to my detriment many, many times now. even when i am being firm and assertive, i'm still being too nice. i fucking hate it. i remain much too respectful for people who obviously don't respect me very much.

but yeah, anyway. it took a while but now i'm mostly settled - got almost everything in order. a good friend gave me a pair of bike he had lying around that he wasn't using - so now that's my whip and i use it to go pretty much everywhere. i really missed this city.

until next time,

[buzzard]

How does one ride a pair of bike?