How Do I Wrote Résumé (I Hate Work)

[ilikeplanets]

It took me about an hour to write my resume. No cover letter. Honestly, I don't think anyone even bothered reading it because my application was accepted within 12 hours. I just had to convince them that I can write in English and use the internet. Still, working from home will be a good transition back into the workforce for me, especially after a long gap between jobs. Maybe my next resume will be more frilly and dignified.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by Disco King

"Why should we hire you over any of the other applicants? What do you bring that others can't?"

How the fuck would I know when I don't know any of the other applicants?

"Are you a competitive person?"

No. But the correct answer for this is "yes." So, yes.

Does it have to be yes? I can be competitive but I prefer to be cooperative?

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by vixnix

That’s great though, congrats...

Have you read up on behavioural interview questions already, in case you get those...?

I hadn't actually heard about the concept of behavioural interview questions. Thanks for letting me know about those! Read up on a bunch of them and it helped me cook up some answers for these ones. If I get the interview, there will likely be more to come.

Originally Posted by queenoftheswine

I've personally found that the more cliché your answers are, the more positive the interviewer's feedback is. At the end of the day, you're going to end up telling them what they want to hear. It sucks.

What's shit about behavioural interview questions is that what they ask might not match your previous experience and so you may want to read up on what those questions are and relate them to something you've done.

The whole process of job hunting is horrifying.

Yeah, one question asked me about a time I failed in my career. My biggest "career" up until now has been school, but I wasn't about to go off on my story about how my mental health fucked me up and took me from a straight-A, Dean's List student to a mediocre finishing GPA. I made up some bullshit about being put in charge of training somebody at my current job, not taking the extra time to make sure they understood everything, and them struggling. "What I learned from it was to be less hesitant and more direct in making sure new team members have all the tools they need to be successful," lol.

Originally Posted by reprise85

Does it have to be yes? I can be competitive but I prefer to be cooperative?

It's a commission-based sales job with sales quotas, so I think the answer has to be "yes." I did the whole "competitive with myself because I'm always trying to be better" crap, but also added "I feel co-operation is crucial, and that competition is a healthy part of that because it motivates the entire team."

I wrote up my answers beforehand and kind of had to read off of them because there was no way I could do that off the cuff. It's pretty obvious from the videos that I was reading from a script, but I did multiple takes and couldn't get it any more natural. I also had to keep doing takes because I noticed I kept on pulling these smug-ass faces and looking like a douche. Also, my voice is way too nasally from singing Smashing Pumpkins in the shower too much.

[Disco King]

DESPITE ALL MY RAGE, I AM STILL JUST A SLAVE WITH A WAGE

[reprise85]

good job, proud of you. it will be easier next time if you don't get this job

[Disco King]

Welp, didn't get this job, either.

"We've received many applicants with specific skills and experience in our industry, and after careful discussion, we've decided we won't be moving forward with you for this role."

Lol, I have specific skills and experience in literally no industry except for shitty retail. When even entry-level sales jobs want people experienced in sales, it looks like that means I'm stuck here forever.

[Shallowed]

[hnibos]

Originally Posted by Disco King

Welp, didn't get this job, either.

"We've received many applicants with specific skills and experience in our industry, and after careful discussion, we've decided we won't be moving forward with you for this role."

Lol, I have specific skills and experience in literally no industry except for shitty retail. When even entry-level sales jobs want people experienced in sales, it looks like that means I'm stuck here forever.

It means you have customer service skills, and even retail can be specialized (printing for example) which can then open other doors. Chin up, there may yet be a slightly better role for you in this capitalist hellscape we live in.