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Old 09-17-2015, 07:48 PM   #271
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I'm honestly surprised Torts didn't shoehorn another reference to his internet girlfriend that seemed to have fucked him up up so bad into that back and forth

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 07:52 PM   #272
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i'm actually much more affected by people who are wallowing than anyone's happiness, that would just be shitty. unless it's someone just sort of "pretending" to be a certain way to try & pull the wool on others i guess.

but really, people acting like they're just too busy for anything when it's obvious they aren't & going on and on and on about this circular depressive bullshit with no real listening going on on your end when you try to at least help them through it a little bit has been a part of what's brought me down myself a bit in the last year

this is regarding people i know irl/through facebook, for what it's worth

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 07:53 PM   #273
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I don't think we should all be going of at Trots either, he's just doing the best he can like all of us, maybe he has found something for himself. It's one thing to leave because you're disgusted with something or angry at the way the board is in general, but to say he's better than people here (I don't care if you used these words trots, the implication is you're trying and people here aren't so you're better) and they should try more or kill themselves (AKA they should shut the fuck up with that depression bullshit one way or the other) because he's trying to find peace and nobody else here is even trying, is ludicrous and I don't care who says it.

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 07:55 PM   #274
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Originally Posted by reprise85 View Post
I don't think we should all be going of at Trots either, he's just doing the best he can like all of us, maybe he has found something for himself. It's one thing to leave because you're disgusted with something or angry at the way the board is in general, but to say he's better than people here because he's trying to find peace and getting better and nobody here is even trying, is ludicrous and I don't care who says it.
Before this thread did you ever tell him he shouldn't be going after people

Maybe you did but I'm not recalling it.

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 07:59 PM   #275
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I'm not trying to pull you down, you just are saying the exact same things you would have yelled at someone for saying a month ago, without adding why exactly it's different now that you're saying it. You DO understand which is why you sound strange saying because you're basically denying that experience by saying what you're saying. I also don't appreciate you putting my education into this at all as a way to demean me, I'm not speaking as some beacon of understanding, I'm just a person like you who struggles with depression. So you can go fuck yourself.
you know why it changed? because i have two choices...

you constantly act like youre a therapist, you are not a therapist. Thats why i brought it up.

the reason i would have yelled at someone was because on some level i felt they may have been right and i was defensive and content to sit in my nerd cave forever and feel bad. or they were saying get happy dont take drugs you dont need therapy just a banana. which the lot have you have conflated with what im saying and fucking whatever ypu need to take the path of least resistance

you can get better, being bitter and angry and self loathing isnt gonna get you there. I KNOW FIRST HAND. i dunno what else to say, you have to try it never just happens. so many if you seem to think you go to therapy maybe or take drugs maybe and it works itself out. that talking incessently about your problems will work them out. it doesnt. it never has. it never will. even my therapist told me this and IIRC you acted like that was terrible that she would say that and i need a new therapist. i guess one that coddles and really wants that check biweekly. my therapist told me i could sit and spin my wheels forever but that would be a waste of my money and her time. and shes done more good for me than any therapist ive ever had.

you keep explaining these things as being hard because youre sick. duh, thanks weve established that and I KNOW THAT.

WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:00 PM   #276
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I'm not sure. I usually don't say things like that directly to people, him included. Maybe it's just cause I feel shitty the past week or so or because I actually do care about him and hearing ringing alarms when I see someone switch opinions on something like this so quickly when they have a long lasting psych disorder.

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:02 PM   #277
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Originally Posted by Shallowed View Post
I'm honestly surprised Torts didn't shoehorn another reference to his internet girlfriend that seemed to have fucked him up up so bad into that back and forth
why do you keep vringing this up

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:02 PM   #278
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The solution is probably not having someone tell you to get over it or kill yourself

And I thought you were quitting

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:02 PM   #279
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kill yourself eulogy

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:04 PM   #280
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Quicker than cancer I guess. Progress!

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:05 PM   #281
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Originally Posted by Mals Marola View Post
i'm actually much more affected by people who are wallowing than anyone's happiness, that would just be shitty. unless it's someone just sort of "pretending" to be a certain way to try & pull the wool on others i guess.

but really, people acting like they're just too busy for anything when it's obvious they aren't & going on and on and on about this circular depressive bullshit with no real listening going on on your end when you try to at least help them through it a little bit has been a part of what's brought me down myself a bit in the last year

this is regarding people i know irl/through facebook, for what it's worth
I don't mean to sound harsh but this is kind of a self centred way of looking at depression, because you're thinking more about how their depression makes YOU feel and if they're listening to YOUR help. People are going to lie about being busy, because they're too depressed to do anything.

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:05 PM   #282
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you know why it changed? because i have two choices...

you constantly act like youre a therapist, you are not a therapist. Thats why i brought it up.

the reason i would have yelled at someone was because on some level i felt they may have been right and i was defensive and content to sit in my nerd cave forever and feel bad. or they were saying get happy dont take drugs you dont need therapy just a banana. which the lot have you have conflated with what im saying and fucking whatever ypu need to take the path of least resistance

you can get better, being bitter and angry and self loathing isnt gonna get you there. I KNOW FIRST HAND. i dunno what else to say, you have to try it never just happens. so many if you seem to think you go to therapy maybe or take drugs maybe and it works itself out. it doesnt. it never has. it never will. even my therapist told me this and IIRC you acted like that was terrible that she would say that and i need a new therapist. i guess one that coddles and really wants that c+heck biweekly. my therapist told me i could sit and spin my wheels forever but that would be a waste of my money and her time. and shes done more good for me than any therapist ive ever had.

you keep explaining these things as being hard because youre sick. duh, thanks weve established that and I KNOW THAT.

WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?
I'm not a therapist and I'm not pretending I am one. One day I may be one, but obviously I'd be a really shitty one right now while I don't have my shit together.

What is the solution to depression? For me, it's been long lasting therapy and medication and slow, incremental changes. It's not mutually exclusive to say things are hard and that they can change.

From what I recall you said your therapist said she couldn't help you if you didn't want help, which is fine and a helpful thing. I don't recall acting like she was terrible to you, if you want to find the thread perhaps I could explain. My therapist doesn't coddle me and in the past several years I've gone from not even being in control of my own money to working full time to going to school full time and being generally happy, not taking drugs, not having flashbacks or losing chunks of time, being able to sleep, and all sort of things. If you think that's not making progress I don't know what to tell you.

But I'm not trying to make this personal, you honestly have no right to passive-aggressively tell me my therapist is shitty and only wants money. You do realize you don't have to put down other people to feel better? There's no one life changing moment that makes people change, usually, IMO. There's is not suddenly one day they wake up and are able to "try" as you've put it. Things that take thing long to establish usually take a while to get through. That doesn't mean someone isn't trying. When I was sitting in my grandmother's apartment doing drugs and not taking showers it wasn't that I wasn't trying - I was just doing the best I was able to at the time. YES you must make a decision to not kill yourself but honestly beyond that, it's different for everyone. And therapy is different for everyone. I have severe PTSD and have had to get over things like even being in a room with pre-teen girls because even seeing them would make me have panic attacks. Certain small children with certain features would make me have flashbacks to videos I saw of children being sexually tortured in cages. Yeah dealing with shit like that and a bunch of other PTSD reactions takes time and a lot of therapy sessions. Don't pretend you know what we do in my sessions because you don't. I would never pretend to know what you deal with either. But going to therapy for a long time isn't necessarily spinning your wheels. Therapists generally like to make progress just like clients do.

Last edited by reprise85 : 09-17-2015 at 08:15 PM.

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:07 PM   #283
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my therapist told me i could sit and spin
*snickers*

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:20 PM   #284
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Anyway I'm going to try to enjoy my night, I have studying to do and work tomorrow at 6am. I truly do hope trots that you've turned a corner and found what you need to do. I'm sorry if I come across as trying to be a therapist. I just use what I've learned and try to have a conversation like everyone else does, but maybe my style of writing betrays my desire to eventually have an advanced psych degree. I have no problem with anyone pointing out anything specific if they feel I'm doing it so that I can correct my behavior.

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:21 PM   #285
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yeah i used what i learned and you shit in my face and said i was a hypocrite, implied i was "unstable" and told me how i should feel about my illness

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:27 PM   #286
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I never called you a hypocrite or implied it in any way. Some other people did but I did not. I did say you were denying your own experience because I don't think this entire time you just haven't been trying. Really, I was concerned about you invalidating your own experiences. Maybe I'm completely off base or should just mind my own business. I did get angry for your personal attacks against my therapeutic alliance with my therapist and I expressed that.

I don't think you're a hypocrite. Believe it or not I'm concerned for you. I will mind my own business next time.

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:37 PM   #287
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People like d and sonic johnny (and to a lesser extent before this thread, reprise) trip all over themselves to show their approval. For reasons I cannot grasp.
Hey man what'd i do? I like trots because he's smart, nuanced, and pulls no bullshit.
All of this stuff, i dunno, I'm not depressed or sad or in therapy so a lot of this going on right now, i don't know what to think. Usually if i don't know about something, i sit back and listen/read. Im not throwing my hat in the"rules of engagement wrt to depressed people" thread.

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:42 PM   #288
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Netpho regular boarders would make THE BEST college a cappella group. This thread is like something straight out of Sing it On.

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:43 PM   #289
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Originally Posted by slunken View Post
*snickers*
you must spread some reputation around before giving it to sunken again

Also, the image of Trots being a kind of transformer with wheels, spinning in the mud while his face is beet-red and filled with rage, is pretty awesome.

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:48 PM   #290
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My husband sent me this picture, with the caption "The Real Emma". He likes to burn me a bit, like that.


 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:52 PM   #291
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I never called you a hypocrite or implied it in any way. Some other people did but I did not. I did say you were denying your own experience because I don't think this entire time you just haven't been trying. Really, I was concerned about you invalidating your own experiences. Maybe I'm completely off base or should just mind my own business. I did get angry for your personal attacks against my therapeutic alliance with my therapist and I expressed that.

I don't think you're a hypocrite. Believe it or not I'm concerned for you. I will mind my own business next time.
im not trying to invalidate anything or shame anyone for being unable to do anything and my two-fisted in ya face approach lends poorly to that. that line eulogy loves so much is just my brutalist spin on a lincoln quote ive found incredibly useful.

but, what made you get out of the basement? did you decide that "i must die or be better"? and opted for the latter?

what else can you do? attempt to embrace misery?

further, your experience is not anagolous to depressed men. just seems like its not right to compare them

and a lot of the venom in what i had to say is because teh bolly seems to be a real misogynist jerk tbh

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Old 09-17-2015, 08:54 PM   #292
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by the way, did i mention i met a girl on the internet and she was a white trash sociopath? just wanted to throw that out there for shalloweds sake

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:57 PM   #293
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From one netpho boarder who gets 'the rage' to another, please take my advice and just try to forget that Pasta of Muppets even exists here

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 09:00 PM   #294
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He's the very definition of posters who are not worth engaging with. Both because he's not that nice, and because he contributes nothing of substance to any discussion. He just hangs around like a vulture seeing who's down at the moment, and then comes up with unimaginative digs and tries to get in a few kicks while the target isn't moving.

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 09:00 PM   #295
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YES YOU HEARD ME

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 09:05 PM   #296
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Yes, I decided I must die or be better, but only at the point when I had been in therapy for a while and on medication for a while. Before I was even well enough to do that, I had to decide every day to not die because I had any small hope of it not being bad forever. Even that took a lot of effort, because I did just want to die. I had that epiphany that I must die or talk about my trauma before I went to therapy in 2008. And then many times in between 2008 and when I started noticeably improving. I even decided I would die and had suicide attempts where I completely blacked out (not from drugs) and did terribly stupid things, like setting my bed on fire. I'd say I was actively suicidal most days until 2011, and then on and off since then, mostly off in the past 2 years. And I still don' exercise or meditate regularly even though I want to.

every day that someone comes on this board and posts is a day they didn't try to kill themselves. maybe this board itself, was something for them to do where someone could tell them they cared or even tell them to fuck off. that is trying. it might not be getting up and exercising, it may not be meditating, and yes some people will never get further than that. but people don't just start trying when they start exercising and mediating. it takes trying to get to that point. you haven't been not trying, you've been doing the best you could. perhaps you've made a new decision to try other things on a higher level, but you had to pass through the last level. some people breeze through levels or don't get down to the levels you or i have gone to. everyone is different. but all i'm saying is, just because people are down on low levels and want to die, or hate themselves, or hate everyone else, doesn't mean they aren't trying.

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 09:06 PM   #297
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i like pasta of muppets and teh bolly, and i've known pasta of muppets for quite a while and more personally and he is awesome, so

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 09:13 PM   #298
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I've known him for quite a while too, and sent him an ubuntu cd, and chatted with him at fb, mostly because I felt for him, being from small town NZ. And it didn't stop him from taking a few shots at me when the kicking was good.

Watch your back!

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 09:14 PM   #299
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p sure teh bolly thinks palestinians had it coming

 
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Old 09-17-2015, 09:38 PM   #300
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I didn't realise sending an ubuntu CD to someone makes you except from being a spiteful troll

 
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