your goal of happiness is stupid

[yo soy el mejor]

<3

if i danced to this with a boy and he was all lookin' in my eyes i'd probably run off the floor crying

[Elphenor]

[duovamp]

Pretty sad/10

[Trotskilicious]

Originally Posted by hnibos

Everybody misrepresents themselves all the time. If you're real, you're a freak.

i think you are confusing "daily life" with "intimacy"

this isn't about people pretending that they're happy when they aren't

[Trotskilicious]

i mean if you're faking emotional realness when you're intimate then there's no point to the intimacy

[Trotskilicious]

and no, i don't think most people say they are one thing when they are the other. e.g. "I like to be alone, people stress me out" but in reality is constantly texting and facebooking and instagramming and etc and has this need to be talking at length about nothing with anyone even strangers or "I really love to chill and just enjoy quiet time with someone I love," but cannot shut the fuck up for more than 1 minute even when a show you're supposedly is interested in is on and you really don't know anything about GoT other than "I ride with Dany she's a bad bitch" direct quote etc etc etc

[yo soy el mejor]

i guess we're all just speaking for ourself

[D.]

Have you guys tried traveling? I hear it helps with the sads.

[yo soy el mejor]

i checked the mail yesterday and came back feeling just as bad.

[yo soy el mejor]

kekekeke

[D.]

[slunken]

wookin pa nub

[The exploding boy]

it is but i can't help it. Even if i'm aware nothing matters.

[fuzzyroes]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

and no, i don't think most people say they are one thing when they are the other. e.g. "I like to be alone, people stress me out" but in reality is constantly texting and facebooking and instagramming and etc and has this need to be talking at length about nothing with anyone even strangers or "I really love to chill and just enjoy quiet time with someone I love," but cannot shut the fuck up for more than 1 minute even when a show you're supposedly is interested in is on and you really don't know anything about GoT other than "I ride with Dany she's a bad bitch" direct quote etc etc etc

Why are you so bitter man? You had to have realized that an online relationship had a strong possibility of not working out in real life... And it didn't- no reason to sweat it months after the fact. Most new dating ends in failure, just gotta keep at it holmes.

[Trotskilicious]

shut the fuck up intolerable jackoff

[Trotskilicious]

this isnt about how it didnt work out you loser dropout, its about how a sociopathic liar took advantage of me and how humiliating that is

[reprise85]

i mean obv she has some issues but why do you think she's sociopathic?

[slunken]

because it didn't work out

[Elphenor]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

this isnt about how it didnt work out you loser dropout, its about how a sociopathic liar took advantage of me and how humiliating that is

I feel ya

[Elphenor]

except I'm also a loser drop out

[Trotskilicious]

you dropped out of hs? come on man...

[Elphenor]

No college

Got fired from my job and literally ended up not being able to pay to transport myself there

Was making straight A's though!

[Elphenor]

.

[reprise85]

get some student loans and shut the fuck up

[reprise85]

just kidding but really, how's it going?

[Elphenor]

It's going great!


with half a Xanax bar in me

[Elphenor]

I keep making appointments to see the guidance consular so I can get back to going to school, but stuff happens and I miss them

[Trotskilicious]

Originally Posted by reprise85

i mean obv she has some issues but why do you think she's sociopathic?

• Inability to take responsibility for anything
• convinced people are out to get her
• Image of self is almost complete inverse of reality
• Relies on men/boyfriends to provide self esteem
• Uses words like love, and does not mean them or understand what they mean
• repetedly told me how being spontaneous is not like her, how she's usually icy and not as affectionate, that she doesn't fall in love easily to demonstrate how special we are. Once we met I realized this was entirely false, much like her shit about being a loner, because people don't suddenly get affectionate. Then to prove me right, she gets engaged abt 2 mos after we break up. I have no doubt that this is her standard relationship pattern.
• stole a bottle of xanax from my room and lied about it. In fact it went like this: "Hey do you know where I put that bottle of Xanax?" "I didn't steal it. Are you saying I stole it?" Well no, but now I know you did.
• Since I met back up with her in Feb, she moved four times each time she left her bridges on fire. This is actually an established pattern for over ten years.
• Most recent job she had she had to beg for because she quit without notice before, friend of hers went out on a limb and got her a job. Quit without notice 3 mos later, to move to another state
• will say she hates someone and never will speak to them again, makes up with them a few weeks later.
• she told me she was in AA then the first thing she does when we go out to eat is get a beer
• Absolutely has no concept of how others perceive her, does not pick up on any kind of non-verbal cues. My friends absolutely hated her, she was convinced they loved her. Especially my roommate who gets stiff and awkward around people he really doesn't like, it was to such a degree that it made me uncomfortable. She never noticed, and would go on at length talking at him about some stupid thing while he sat there in silence or, he has this way of saying "okay" or "uh-huh" when he wants to let you know to shut the fuck up. He does this to me and I shut the fuck up. He has THE WORST fake laugh on earth, too. It's completely unconvincing. I honestly think he employs it because it's so fake.
• Talks at, not with people
• Had zero interest in listening to me talk about anything I was interested in, would say "i don't know anything about that" and just shut me down or change subject or talk over me when I attempted to talk about what I like to do or what I did that day.
• Related, she thought everything about our visit was "perfect" when in reality, it didn't go that well. Any other lucid person would have noticed.
• She would tell me we aren't fighting when she started an argument. e.g. "Like, You think this is fighting?" then she'd do that kind of condescending laugh that people do yknow?
• Said I was being cruel or mean to her when I wasn't paying attention to her, like when she suggested watching the new episode of GoT would be a good thing to do and she would stay quiet for 15 seconds before talking about something else or hassling me for sex. This was one of the deal breaking incidents in fact because it was her suggestion, she talked over it, I shushed her a couple times, asked if she even wanted to watch it then she started bitching about how I "cared about your show more than you do me." IT WAS YOUR SUGGESTION
• Related, a persistent need to validate herself through sex. "Guys never resist me," so she would keep at it, no matter how many times I told her to stop. Perhaps this was assault, I'm still not sure.
• Grossly inflated sense of self, egotistical, obnoxious
• Will speak loudly and proudly about things like when she lived over a bar and sold weed at 15 after dropping out and "like, everyone was getting me drunk. It was awesome." Said this in a small restaurant at 110% volume
• Complete inability to concentrate on anything, if she wasn't talking to me (usually about fights with people, or who's out to get her today) she was fighting with someone, usually her mother, someone who was her bestiest bestest best friend 2 days ago, or an ex boyfriend, on her telephone
• one of those people who has an incredible amount of ex-friends or ex-boyfriends that hate her, and gee i wonder why
• Any and all criticism, or even innocuous things seen as criticism, are displaced and deflected. Usually with a version of "I know you are but what am I?"
• Extremely jealous, I mentioned someone was going to move to sit next to me. She asked me if it was a woman, I said yes and she started to flip out about how I obviously liked her and she was going to steal me away and blah blah blah (also she said she's never the jealous type). Ironically the person who sits next to me turned out to like, really hate me for some reason. Possibly because I do think she's cute and we have lots in common. I don't get it. Anyway this isn't about the girl who sits next to me.
• one of those people who will play with her phone while you're talking to her
• Diagnoses her self, diagnoses other people, thinks she's an expert on meds. this results in her telling her doctors what she needs and if they don't do what she tells them she feels it's appropriate to switch drs until someone does what she tells them to. Obviously this results in lots of frustration and no medicine regimen.
• Said she'd always be my friend and that she would pay me back for the flight I bought (it was the original agreement she'd pay for my flight to SF). Blocked my number, deleted me from her Facebook apparently right around the time my friend spotted the engagement picture on her IG
• In the past month, she deleted and undeleted her facebook about 20 times. She told me some guy was trying to get back at her. She's one of the worst facebookers of all time too, just this constant stream of awful memes (she's still using increasingly more nonsensical KEEP CALM stuff), buzzfeed links, 10 reasons why you're x, share if you agree, shitty hip hop videos and posts about how bad ass she is and how she "doesn't give a fuck about you, little ho" and "fuck you for not believing in me" or any number of obnoxious, confrontational shouting at no one in particular. I had her on block because her feed was diarrhea so I'm not sure if any of this was directed at me. It's possible she may have inflated me into some kind of boogeyman who is out to get her even though I just ignored her after we broke up
• due to her relentless dishonesty about self, i cannot imagine her bipolar diagnosis is correct, since she probably served up a hot load of bullshit to the shrink too
  

All in all it's remarkable I didn't unleash some barely contaned spittle flinging fury on her, I guess this is growing up

almost all of this was revealed during the visit, there were some flags before but she was so "in love" with me and I'm lonely and easily manipulated in this way

ironically, i remember eulogy giving the advice that it was a terrible idea for someone to stay with you for a week and you needed your own space. This IS definitely true, but at the same time, if I wasn't exposed to her to the degree that I was, basically living with her for a week, then I may still be involved with this godawful person.

[Trotskilicious]

Originally Posted by Elphenor

No college

Got fired from my job and literally ended up not being able to pay to transport myself there

Was making straight A's though!

kanye dropped out of college

that's nothing to be ashamed of

not finishing high school because "none of that stuff is important" per fuzzy, is very embarassing.

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by Elphenor

I keep making appointments to see the guidance consular so I can get back to going to school, but stuff happens and I miss them

Just out of curiosity, what sort of "stuff" happens to a person who isn't in employment or school to prevent them from doing stuff? Because if I wasn't doing either of those, I'd just be here 24/7 instead of just 16/5.

Also, my school includes in its fees a public transport pass for every student for any semester they are enrolled full-time. Did yours have that, or did it not because U.S.A?