The Mormons documentary on PBS

[sickbadthing]

After seeing this, I've found that there was a whole world of revelation that I hadn't know about before regarding the Mormon faith.

Starting today, I have decided that I'm going to go back to my roots and become a Mormon. I've arranged to have missionaries come over to my apartment and I will begin attending church on Sunday.

It's so great to finally see the light. I've been living in a self-imposed darkness for so long and it's incredible to be bringing the lord Jesus Christ into my life.

Thank you PBS and thank you, big baby Jesus.

[Irridescent Fairysex]

I swallowed all your cum, that must have meant something!

[DeviousJ]

Did they tell you that their secret underground mountain base actually has a rollercoaster in it? Because it does

[sickbadthing]

Oh yeah. I'm going to keep listening to Howard Stern but I'm going to pray for him while I listen. I'm praying for all of you right now as well.

[D.]

I already have dibs on Casey, I'm praying for him already.

[Nimrod's Son]

You're going to convert your first wife I hope.

[Super Cres]

I saw that documentary, I must say I am quite shocked that they "baptise" dead people by proxy. I want to get taken off of that list.

[avian chaos]

My mom was adopted into a fucked up Mormon family and she decided to quit the church about 6 months after she had me. To this day, we've moved dozens of times and she still gets birthday cards from them and stuff. Creepy.

Ironically, every Mormon I've ever actually met in my life has been one of the most morally upstanding and awesome persons I've had the pleasure of being friends with.

[duovamp]

delete this fuckin' post I made no caaaaaaaaps deleteitrightnownospaaaaaaaaaace

[D.]

Originally Posted by avian chaos

My mom was adopted into a fucked up Mormon family and she decided to quit the church about 6 months after she had me. To this day, we've moved dozens of times and she still gets birthday cards from them and stuff. Creepy.

Ironically, every Mormon I've ever actually met in my life has been one of the most morally upstanding and awesome persons I've had the pleasure of being friends with.

i was at this one baptist church a few years ago and this dude left the mormon church, started going to the baptist church.

this guy from the mormon church followed him and sat in the back during a few wednesday night services, until the baptist preacher told him to get lost.

lol

[avian chaos]

I didn't get to go to one of my best friends' weddings 'cause she's mormon !!!

A heathen like me's gotta respect that though

[bardy]

my boyfriend is currently being stalked by a few mormons

[Debaser]

Originally Posted by sickbadthing

and thank you, big baby Jesus.

http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/image...by%20jesus.JPG

[cashboy]

how is the book of mormon any more ludicrous than the bible

[ibepawpaw]

Because it was written by Joe Smith who was a self confessed failure and "prophet"

[ibepawpaw]

Originally Posted by cashboy

how is the book of mormon any more ludicrous than the bible

u had better be looking up.. U fool.. bad mojo is upon u..

[sleeper]

Originally Posted by cashboy

how is the book of mormon any more ludicrous than the bible

its always hilarious watching believers of one dogma condescend to some other dogma, like how christians will kind of ridicule and laugh at the 72 virgins or something. its an absurd belief, no doubt, but go back in time and add it to the bible and it will suddenly transform into wisdom itself.

i mean either you use reason to decide what to believe or you dont. if you dont, no one is going to fucking credit you for happening to believe some slightly less outrageous bit of nonsense.

[cashboy]

Originally Posted by ibepawpaw

Because it was written by Joe Smith who was a self confessed failure and "prophet"

and who wrote the bible?

[sleeper]

but to be fair, when i first read about mormonism i thought, wow, this is just impossibly stupid; much more so than christianity. i quickly realised, though, that it really wasnt, that the only meaningful difference was that one was more widely accepted at present.

why someone can tell you that joseph smith read magical golden tablets with magical golden glasses that translated everything for him and be met with nothing but laughter, but tell you about jesus being resurrected from the dead and get a pleasant nod in response is beyond me.

i mean, really, to be religious and criticize mormonism is to say that the actual substantive claims of a religion's dogma are the reasons you believe in it, which is clearly false. its so annoying because its pretending that facts and logic are at all relevant here, which is absurd because if they were you wouldnt be religious in the first place.

[avian chaos]

Man didn't we just have a thread like this

Jeez

[ibepawpaw]

Does anyone understand the meaning of FAITH? Not all earthly revelations are based on logic and facts..

[rolmos]

I have those magical tablets right here at home, but I don't feel like sharing them.

[julie]

yeah you guys are ruining chris' thread.

[ibepawpaw]

Originally Posted by cashboy

and who wrote the bible?

The old testament was written by Hebrew historians, and the new testament is various books written by followers and believers of Jesus the Hebrew

[sleeper]

Originally Posted by ibepawpaw

Does anyone understand the meaning of FAITH? Not all earthly revelations are based on logic and facts..

then why, i think we agree, are the earthly revelations of mormons absurd?

they believe it on faith. i mean, are you to say that that isnt good enough?

[sickbadthing]

You may have questions about what members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe, until such time that we will no longer need to be encumbered with this physiology that we have here.. Uhhhh, Some of the basic beliefs of the Church are:

* God is, so to speak, our Heavenly Father.. Uhhhh, He loves us and wants us to, uh, return to, you know, Him.

* Jesus Christ is, so to speak, the Son of God, for all decent spirits.. On the Great Mothership, He is, so to speak, our Savior, and things of that nature.. Ultimately, He redeems us from death by providing the Resurrection, and things like this.. Nonetheless, rational people, uhhh, believe He saves us from sin as we repent.

* Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, uhhhh, in what we call the, uh, Taurus constellation of stars, we can, uhhhh, return to, uh, live with God if we keep His commandments.

* The Holy Ghost helps us to, uh, recognize truth.

* The first principles and ordinances of the gospel are faith in Jesus Christ, circular symbol configurations, repentance, downloaded into your neurotronic syntaxes, baptism, and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost.

* The Church of Jesus Christ uh, has, uhhh, been restored to, uh, the earth.

* The priesthood authority of God exists in His Church today, Insectillians, just as it, the aliens would say, did in the original Church.

* The Bible and the Book of Mormon are the word of God.

* God reveals His will to, you know, prophets today, hatred, karma, uh, devilism, necromacy, just as He did anciently.

* Our life uh, has, uhhh, a sacred purpose.

* Families can, uhhhh, be together forever.

* Through serving others, who resemble blonde-haired, blue-eyed humans, we can, uhhhh, experience joy and draw closer to, you know, God, and what have you. You see, I have greater things to do.

The best way for you to, you know, receive answers to, you know, your questions is, so to speak, to, you know, talk with a friend or acquaintance who is, so to speak, a member of the Church, until such time that we will no longer need to be encumbered with this physiology that we have here. The Great Mothership is stationed near the planet Saturn. We can, uhhhh, locate a member in your area who would be glad to, you know, talk with you.. Listen Man, You are also welcome to, you know, come and worship with us.

[sickbadthing]

Your Heavenly Father wants you to, you know, be happy.. Nonetheless, Sin, roughly a, uhhhh, hundred and forty four thousand circular symbols, or wrongdoing, the Targzissians, makes stupid motherfuckers unhappy, the Great Mothership, for “wickedness never was, uh, happiness” (The Book of Mormon, who are malevolent reptilians, Alma 41:10).

Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, when I managed to, you know, get some Polaroid shots of the ships uhhhh, in broad daylight, Heavenly Father uh, has, uhhh, provided a, uhhhh, way for you to, you know, repent and be forgiven for things you have done wrong.
To repent, it, the aliens would say, is, so to speak, necessary to:

* Confess your sins to, you know, God.

* Feel sincere sorrow for your sins.

* Ask God to, you know, forgive you.

* Do all you can to, you know, correct the problems your actions may have caused.

* Turn away from your sins and not repeat them, you see, you see.

Through the Atonement of Christ, roughly a hundred and forty four thousand circular symbols, sincere repentance brings forgiveness and greater peace in this life, and things of that nature. It prepares you to, you know, live with your Heavenly Father in the life to, you know, come.. The Great Mothership is powered by seven hydrogen vent fusion cores each generating roughly seven - thousand - seven - hundred - and - seventy - seven gigawatts of electromagnetic flux, you see what I mean. And thus began this oddysey... This is the message the aliens have given to me. Their touch was cool but gentle. They seemed fascinated with my hands, my kinky hair and my sex organs.

[Netphorian Gadabout]

Originally Posted by sleeper

why someone can tell you that joseph smith read magical golden tablets with magical golden glasses that translated everything for him and be met with nothing but laughter, but tell you about jesus being resurrected from the dead and get a pleasant nod in response is beyond me.

If you believe the Bible's account then the resurrected Jesus appeared to over 500 different people on multiple occasions. That's 500 eyewitness testimonies on which to base a belief. If you believe the book of Mormon, then you believe one man's eyewitness testimony (Joseph Smith) who when asked for proof responded that he lost all his proof (the golden tablets and golden eyeglasses). So one is more absurd then the other, imho.

[Trotskilicious]

Quakers are cool.

[avian chaos]

Originally Posted by Pumpkins23836

If you believe the Bible's account then the resurrected Jesus appeared to over 500 different people on multiple occasions. That's 500 eyewitness testimonies on which to base a belief. If you believe the book of Mormon, then you believe one man's eyewitness testimony (Joseph Smith) who when asked for proof responded that he lost all his proof (the golden tablets and golden eyeglasses). So one is more absurd then the other, imho.

Stuff like this makes me wish people arguing about religion could step back and hear the shit that comes out of their mouth from time to time.

Where's ella when you need her to stink up a thread the most