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Old 02-27-2016, 07:19 AM   #61
reprise85
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how are things, anyway?
my mom's bf is gonna die soon. i was up all night there so my mom could sleep. i just came home to take meds, feed cat, shower, etc. then i have to go buy my mom mouthwash and underwear and some other things and go back to hospice.

i mean my mom is devastated, i'm sad of course but i'm more worried about my mom than him, all things considered. the soon he dies the better for him, he's in a lot of pain still even on subcutaneous morphine, ativan, fentanyl patch, etc. but he has stopped responding, where last night he was communicating a bit. he was also starting and stopping breathing a lot early last night but now is mostly breathing regularly with extreme death rattle. supposedly the fluid buildup is not painful/awkward for them but when you hear it it's very hard to believe, sounds like water boiling - like he's drowning in his own secretions. but he's not it just sounds like it

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:24 AM   #62
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god, that's awful. I've seen someone close to me in that sort of state and it's so horrible; would imagine it'd be pretty distressing whatever relation you are to them. Not to mention dealing with your mum's grief. sorry

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:39 AM   #63
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elijah it's almost 4 pm for me

can't be bothered to quote

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:40 AM   #64
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how's everyone's depression doing

damnit i missed everyone

Last edited by teh b0lly!!1 : 02-27-2016 at 07:53 AM.

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:54 AM   #65
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i've been sipping strong coffee and posting perhaps too personal things on Facebook and getting no response at all. I'm gonna try and ride it out till 6 or 7pm and then hopefully sleep for at least 12 hours. Hopefully it'll sort my head out a bit

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:58 AM   #66
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been having sleep issues lately?

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 08:02 AM   #67
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been having problems with it on and off for years - went nocturnal for quite a while. Now I feel there's too much pressure to get to sleep and then up in the morning as it's apparently the only thing holding me back from moving on from this place [edit- this house, not this board]. Pressure makes it harder and sometimes I'm too on edge about it to attempt sleep, knowing I could be lying there wide awake for hours. Thing is, I do get up when there are things I have to do, it's just I can't find the motivation to get up if I don't have anything to do

Last edited by Elijah Moon : 02-27-2016 at 08:25 AM.

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 08:04 AM   #68
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anyway, i'm going to try and distract myself with something "healthier". Hope you feel better

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 08:43 AM   #69
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You should rent a friend so you will have a reason to get out of bed.

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 08:59 AM   #70
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It'd be cheaper - and more of an incentive - to rent your mom.

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 09:05 AM   #71
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Then maybe try getting a job that involves people interactions of talking

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 12:12 PM   #72
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Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
how's everyone's depression doing
this is a funny but weirdly apt question

I've been doing better personally. I'm finally employed again and although it's mostly menial, my job involves working with my hands (in a meaningful way, not like flipping burgers) and running around a lot which makes me feel pretty good. Getting a paycheck feels pretty nice as well. I've also been able to interact with more people than I have talked to in basically the last nine months, which is good as well. I really am an extrovert I think.

my sleep is also fucked up. I don't know what your situation is Elijah Moon, but I'm naturally a night person who, without a job or anything to get up for, turned into someone who would go to sleep at dawn and get up at 2. I did this for a long time and it has been hard for me to readjust my schedule leading to even worse raccoon eyes.

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 01:39 PM   #73
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I slept for a few hours. About to head back out to hospice/for food.

My depression has been better since this semester started. I'm really engaged in my classes which helps a lot. I have some thoughts that are troubling but my energy and ability to concentrate has been good, sleep is pretty good (not oversleeping). Anxiety is fair.

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 03:51 PM   #74
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he should have used de beber. not a bebir.

a goes in front of the infinitive in some cases, though. "a ti" - to you. "a mi" - to me. etc, etc.
my spanish is pretty bad but I don't think "you" or "me" are infinitive verbs

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 05:22 PM   #75
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my spanish is pretty bad but I don't think "you" or "me" are infinitive verbs
oops. i was just talking about the preposition 'a'. lots of verbs require 'a' before the infinitive, though.

http://spanish.about.com/od/infiniti...a_infiniti.htm

te voy a matar a ti, cabron.

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 06:33 PM   #76
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yo estoy boracho

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 06:49 PM   #77
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yo tengo un gato en mis pantalones


my relationship with spanish makes me sad. I took it for a total of five years and can barely speak a word. My vocabulary is actually very large and in a non-stressful environment I can read Spanish pretty well. But I can't understand it when it's spoken hardly at all, and I am way too anxious to try and speak it. I can't really put sentences together that make sense beyond simple present tense stuff.

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:00 PM   #78
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Isn't that one pretty sketchy? I mean I guess probably not any more sketchy than Tinder? I don't have anything against online dating, but it's something I could never see myself doing or being successful with. Buuuut 8 months with no girlfriend and no female foils in my life and I'm feeling pretty lonely about it. I know I'm being a privileged dick cause I've spent most of my adult life in relationships and that's a lot more than a lot of people can say. I mean it's probably deeply unhealthy that I feel such a drive for attention from the opposite sex but I guess it's a mix of wanting validation and honestly feeling like I am a better me when I am with a romantic interest.

Tinder turned out to be a bit intimidating. Seems to be a lot of pretentious white collar transplant young professionals working on the Hill or for some fancy law firm, who, judging by their interests and pictures, go out every night in fancy dresses and drink bourbon while taking pictures with tigers. Seriously if I read one more bio that includes "exploring DC one glass of wine at a time" I'm going to snap
I dunno, I guess it might be sketchy if you're a woman... Probably lots of prowlers and shit, but I haven't seen anything weird come from it. It's kind of just the same platform that everyone seemed to use when we were teenagers to get in touch with women. Like Nexopia and sites like that (not sure if that site was big in American but everyone had it in Canada).

It's no doubt a little pathetic, but theres a lot of really pretty and successful women who use it amongst some of the bottom feeders.

We live in an anti-social age, a lot of people are turning to services like this. You're a good lookin' dude, you should have some success with it. Best of luck!

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:06 PM   #79
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im not drunk nor stoned i have nothing to take my mind off this soul crushing depression i can't do this anymore what do i do
Just get drunk with an open mind, it makes our misery a lot more tolerable and you might not even think about it for a few hours

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:08 PM   #80
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Come on in. I'm drinking Coke Zero, contemplating going out for some air and maybe food, but I can't deal with daylight or people
Sunglasses work for avoiding both

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:08 PM   #81
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*Dr. Fuzzy*

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:10 PM   #82
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then i have to go buy my mom mouthwash and underwear
No one needs to know this

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:13 PM   #83
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Originally Posted by redbreegull View Post
this is a funny but weirdly apt question

I've been doing better personally. I'm finally employed again and although it's mostly menial, my job involves working with my hands (in a meaningful way, not like flipping burgers) and running around a lot which makes me feel pretty good. Getting a paycheck feels pretty nice as well. I've also been able to interact with more people than I have talked to in basically the last nine months, which is good as well. I really am an extrovert I think.

my sleep is also fucked up. I don't know what your situation is Elijah Moon, but I'm naturally a night person who, without a job or anything to get up for, turned into someone who would go to sleep at dawn and get up at 2. I did this for a long time and it has been hard for me to readjust my schedule leading to even worse raccoon eyes.
I'm the same way man. If I'm up at noon it's early for me. I'm also rocking the coon-eyes. Congrats on the job though. It really is great for keeping a healthy mindset.

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 09:37 PM   #84
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Gin and tonic tonight.

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 09:38 PM   #85
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Originally Posted by fuzzyroes View Post
Just get drunk with an open mind, it makes our misery a lot more tolerable and you might not even think about it for a few hours
i don't even have anyone to drink with

if and when you reply, please post a lot of text over a span of 6-7 posts, thank you

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:00 PM   #86
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I'm the same way man. If I'm up at noon it's early for me. I'm also rocking the coon-eyes. Congrats on the job though. It really is great for keeping a healthy mindset.
thanks bro. yeah, as weird as it is to say, I look forward to going in to work every day (so far anyway) and I feel good while I am there. I'm working in a shop and sometimes I get to go upstairs and talk to customers, hang out behind the counter, etc. We have a lot of rich old people come in, and they love to talk about nothing, and it's just so nice to experience human interaction.

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Gin and tonic tonight.
I'm doing something slightly more creative and making gin fizzes

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:05 PM   #87
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We're like booze twinsies!

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:09 PM   #88
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thanks bro. yeah, as weird as it is to say, I look forward to going in to work every day (so far anyway) and I feel good while I am there.
haha that'll pass

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:17 PM   #89
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what kind of gin are you using? I've got Tanqueray

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Originally Posted by fuzzyroes View Post
I dunno, I guess it might be sketchy if you're a woman... Probably lots of prowlers and shit, but I haven't seen anything weird come from it. It's kind of just the same platform that everyone seemed to use when we were teenagers to get in touch with women. Like Nexopia and sites like that (not sure if that site was big in American but everyone had it in Canada).

We live in an anti-social age, a lot of people are turning to services like this. You're a good lookin' dude, you should have some success with it. Best of luck!
haha well the last few times I have posted pictures of myself here they have been intentionally ugly/douchey, but thanks. I never used the internet to get in touch with women when I was a teen. I was painfully shy and my social anxiety prevented me from approaching girls at all until they just sort of started coming to me, and that kept me spoken for by various people for the better part of the last ten years. But yeah I may go ahead and get on some dating sites. honestly I don't know if I can be in a relationship right now, but I would like to start dating/hopefully break my sexual dry spell at some point. Tinder is pretty addictive and I both love and hate it. It's a really interesting and evil social experiment and it has made me uncomfortably aware of the way I judge women. I've gotten a decent number of matches but then I'm just not sure what to say, can't seem to keep the conversation going.

 
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:18 PM   #90
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haha that'll pass
haha oh I'm sure, I've worked plenty in my life, just not in the last two years

 
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