tehbolly's confessional rambling movie review ghost thread

[teh b0lly!!1]

so last night i went through like the first hour of Inherent Vice.
i think myosis said in the other thread it's super hard to follow, which it is, so i kind of set it aside and will come back to it. it's fucking comedy gold at some points though. this scene is amazing:

[teh b0lly!!1]

Aliens -

so, this series has been super jumbled for me. i think i actually half-assedly watched the third one first, just caught it on tv. and a few years later i watched the original, from 1979, and was floored by how amazing it was. this one kind of slipped through the cracks, maybe because the two are only distinguishable by one S in the title, and when i realized James Cameron was at the helm i even got excited, seeing as Terminator 2 is one of my all time favs, always and forever.

well, to start off, i guess it's not bad. it's definitely a Cameron movie. it's got a lot of punchy action sequences, an emotional core, campy mid-80's badass talk, what more can you ask? well, not much i guess, just not in an Alien movie. i know it's highly revered, but i was actually really disappointed in how much the blockbuster action approach killed most of what was great about the first movie.

i mean, the first movie was based on slow paced horror, and painstakingly established the Alien character as this indestructible creature from the depths of hell, and along comes Big Balls Cameron and turns them into hordes of expendable collateral damage. the entire first film told the story about how impossible it was to deal with one of them, and made it visceral and terrifying, and this movie just made light of all that. especially with the 80's A-Team with the awful Bill Paxton, who essentially plays the character of Michaelangelo from TMNT here.

sure, it was definitely much more impressive when it came out in '86, and the campy tough talk and very unsubtle establishing of characters is a good showcase of cinema traits that have evolved over the years, but more than anything else i just didn't agree with the stylistic choices made here. it was still entertaining and kinda fun though.

i was also surprised to see how much james cameron ripped off elements from Terminator films and shoved them here! i may be too big a Terminator nerd but i literally know every single shot from these movies and he legit ripped some of them off here (the electrical disturbances in the ship, the way the child goes down that big metal wheel in the final act, etc). sigh

[teh b0lly!!1]

Vertigo (1958)

i've never become acquainted with much of Hitchcock's work, though he is obviously big time and hugely influential, just never got around to it. and what better time to fill the gaps and watch movies from the '50s than being a prisoner of loneliness and soul crushing depression in my apartment lol! anyway Scorsese cited this one as one of his fav films of all time so i thought i'd give it a shot.

firstly golden age era hollywood is just fucking gorgeous to experience. can't get enough of it. you can see how clear the air is, because it was before we beat the world and environment to a pulp, and everybody's so elegant and classic and upstanding. this one stars alpha manly male James Stewart (good, strong name indeed) and drop dead gorgeous Kim Novak. although she had super weird, very obviously painted on thick eyebrows for this film. no idea, was that a thing in the fifties?

anyway much of it, of course, looks very different now than it did then. but for a movie this old it held up surprisingly well, i thought. it's gorgeous to look at, and although it takes quite a bit to get things going, the third act is pretty cool and sideways, especially for a movie this old. the ending, in particular, is so abrupt and open to interpretation, it left me really on edge. basically a cliffhanger. i loved it.

also notable - the massive, massive changes in gender roles since then. i couldn't help but imagine feminists screaming in my ear about girl power the whole way through.

a weird thing for me, is watching movies from the 60's and 70's and then looking up the actors afterwards as part of my obsessive compulsive research on any movie i watch. it really does your head in, seeing people young and beautiful and at the top of their game, and then reading how they died of a blood clot in the lungs at 76 or suffered breast cancer and recovered, and seeing photos of them 40 years older, with all that youth and vigor gone away, just like it does for everybody, and you can't quite believe it'll happen to you too one day but it does. which only makes me feel worse about wasting away in this place eating brown bread with nuts in it for breakfast lol and squeezing lemons into a glass. i wish i was a hollywood star and had lots of money so i could buy me some love and a soul. to sum up: lol!

[teh b0lly!!1]

500 days with summer -

a really unique film, i find. i'd watched it before with who is now my ex. who would know my next time would be this way. it's a very successful mix of lightheartedness and humor, and the drama and sorrow that always come with love at some point.

it almost always keeps interesting, the narrative is non-chronological and goes all over the place, sometimes branching out into unique and memorable sequences. i really love how they cast Zooey Deschaneilletdjsakl, because she's basically someone who has endearing qualities but there is just something about her that screams 'insufferable cunt' in big bold cunty lettering. so it's used brilliantly by the narrative.

joseph gordon-levitt is another guy i never liked much, kind of like i always couldn't stand jake gyllenhall (lots of names i might be spelling very awfully wrong in this post, but i can't even bring myself to care enough to check) until he went full disturbing weirdo on Nightcrawler. i guess he is also an adequate casting call, because he's sort of unremarkable, yet somewhat charming, which, again - is put to appropriate use by the narrative.

so yeah, love is a maggot squirming inside a stinking rotting corpse and we're all just contemptible ravens trying to get a piece of it and satiate our appetites but we always just end up pecking wounds for a piece of squirming maggot and hating the other fucking ravens and frankly i'd rather be doing something else why bother with it all well i guess we just need the eggs *angry birds theme*

[myosis]

whenever i'm alone on a friday night my favorite thing is to rent a hitchcock or billy wilder. they're just fun and without pretention.

[teh b0lly!!1]

how come i've lost all my followers

i am at the top of my game here guys come on

[teh b0lly!!1]

[toase]

I'm following

[teh b0lly!!1]

queen of earth -

i read about this one somewhere and it got good reviews and i'm depressed and watch movies every day so i said what the hell. i pretty much had zero expectations, and thought it would be a cheap looking film with campy acting, lots of drama, and maybe a few interesting sequences at best. which only goes to serve once again how going in knowing nothing about a movie and expecting nothing of it, is the best way to go.

i really dug it. elizabeth moss (she will forever be labeled as mad men's Peggy for me) puts on an awe inspiring performance. this is really an actor's film. zero pyrotechnics, very sparse setting, almost nothing other than the actors just performing and talking.

much of the film is very tightly shot, extreme closeups and all. some remarkable 10 minute scenes with no cuts of just actors going back and forth and it's pretty impressive. especially elizabeth moss - you can see so many emotions rippling through her expressions, just staggering work. i think i'll watch it again just to appreciate her performance.

tbh i'm embarrassed to admit just quite how much i identified with her character. insurmountable depression and descent into madness have been done time and time again in countless other films, but here it just feels very real.

the other actors are hit and miss, but they don't spoil it badly enough to bring it down. still though, hands down, this is Moss's show. pave, if you're reading this, you might want to check it out. would be curious to hear your opinion on it.

not much else to say here without kind of spoiling it i guess. it gets very weird, very quickly, but for the most part it's not about being weird for the sake of it, it actually goes somewhere (though the narrative doesn't really conclude in a very satisfying manner).

anyway, thank you all for stopping by. though truth be told, i do wish you came more often. what's the matter, this old man isn't good enough for you anymore? i gave you all my best years and now you can't even make 5 minutes to make a visit. i wiped that shit off your ass, asshole. the least you could do is wipe this.

[dreams of glass]

meh

[teh b0lly!!1]

could you be more specific

[teh b0lly!!1]

let's see, what have i watched recently.

i tried, but i just couldn't make it through Inherent Vice. even though Juaquin Phoenix is awesome, and actually it has a great cast playing great roles, it's insufferably obtuse, convoluted and boring to watch. so i just quit on it. a real shame. had loads of potential for sure.

next up: high fidelity.
in my ongoing marathon of self mutilation and endless depression (note the rhyming of the words in succession, yo. tis is my obsession) i decided to revisit another breakup movie i remember liking but being too young to fully appreciate.

john cusack is awesome and delivers perfectly most of the time. even jack black makes his first performance ever in cinema that didn't make me want to stab him in the throat with a screwdriver. it's very fun to watch, very well paced, engaging and has the right mix of sad vs. funneh.

the classic hollywood ending of the couple reuniting pissed me off though. of course, this is just my own bitterness talking, but why does everything has to fucking work itself out so beautifully and cathartically in the movies and my life is fucking total shit and nobody cares and nothing ever changes no matter what lengths i go to. oh are you guys still here? sorry. A- WOULD WATCH AGAIN THANK YOU.

[pavementtune]

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1

even jack black makes his first performance ever in cinema that didn't make me want to stab him in the throat with a screwdriver.

yesss, and god knows I really want to stab him in the throat with a screwdriver every time I see his damn face (or ass crack) on screen!

[teh b0lly!!1]

well to be fair his asscrack does make a cameo even on High Fidelity :/

[cork_soaker]

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1

it really does your head in, seeing people young and beautiful and at the top of their game, and then reading how they died of a blood clot in the lungs at 76 or suffered breast cancer and recovered, and seeing photos of them 40 years older, with all that youth and vigor gone away, just like it does for everybody, and you can't quite believe it'll happen to you too one day but it does. which only makes me feel worse about wasting away in this place eating brown bread with nuts in it for breakfast lol and squeezing lemons into a glass.

good stuff

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1

how come i've lost all my followers

i am at the top of my game here guys come on

agreed!

[teh b0lly!!1]

The Master (2012)

i didn't realize this was a Paul Thomas Anderson film until after the fact. i mainly wanted to watch it come i'm officially going through a juaquin phoenix phase. and before i'll even blab about this film, i have to talk about him. the guy is probably the most gifted actor of our generation. probably one of the best to ever to it imo. i know oscars are fucking bullshit but the fact that he didn't win the oscar for his performance here is just .

i'd seen him in some great roles (namely "Her", in which he was flawless) but he just totally blew me away with his performance here. he twitches his face in strange ways, looks completely different just by altering his normal expression and look in the eye, he developed this awkward body language, he's completely and utterly believable as a borderline retarded, good hearted but dangerously volatile traumatized war veteran. you don't even see a guy acting anymore, it's just the real deal. philip seymour hoffman also puts on a great performance (though not of the same caliber), and when the two share scenes it's just glorious and unforgettable. it's like watching two incredible ball players play together. i find myself moved by how immaculate these scenes were acted even two days after watching it.

in that sense, it's a must for any movie lover. but unfortunately, i think that the actual story, and the way it's being told, just doesn't rise up to the same level as the characters at its center. not to say it's bad, by any means. it's just a bit lukewarm, i guess. unremarkable. and that's a shame. it's still a great watch though. i wish juaquin phoenix would be in more movies that really showcase his dramatic acting.

[myosis]

i don't even remember the story to that film

[buzzard]

It's about as close to an account of L. Ron Hubbard and the formation of the Church of Scientology as you could hope to get as a filmmaker without poisoning important industry relationships and inviting headaches, let's face it.

Also, nobody upstages the P.S.H. Pig fuck!

[teh b0lly!!1]

actually Paul Thomas Anderson is friends with Tom Cruise (who is also a professional cyclist) since they the latter acted in Magnolia. he saw it and realized the parallels, and PTA said his biggest issue was with one scene in which it is said that the cult leader just 'makes it all up as he goes along'.

[FoolofaTook]

have you seen a serbian film? you should. it's delightful and warm.

[buzzard]

What I wonder is whether Anderson has done some private screenings with a LOT of professional actors (with whom he is friends) or whether Tom Cruise was more specifically reached out to as a Scientologist friend that might be offended. I think there was also talk of the gesture being extended to Travolta, which is probably information enough to solve that mystery.

While it's still semi-relevant, I may as well throw it out there that Frank T.J. Mackey in Magnolia was probably the best performance of Cruise's career.

[teh b0lly!!1]

true that buzz.
i think i'll revisit Magnolia tonight.

[teh b0lly!!1]

Magnolia -

another one of those films i'd watched when i was too young to really be able to properly appreciate. it starts out incredibly strong. the storytelling in general is rather astounding, because to be able to tell so many stories simultaneously and not have them fuck each other up or weigh everything down with too many details - you have to be a great storyteller.
the game of thrones guys could learn a thing or two from p.t. anderson.

tom cruise indeed puts forth the best performance of his career, but it's mostly brilliant casting tbh. julian moore actually stood out for me, she put on a really great, moving performance and she's usually more forgettable in her movies.

anyway, the movie runs 3 hours long and while it's enjoyable and didn't feel like 3 hour at all for me, it probably could have benefitted from a little cutting. i'm ambivalent about how all the stories essentially go nowhere - there are no real resolutions to be found on most of them. but that's life, everything is meaningless and cyclic and doesn't matter, but it kind of makes you wonder what was the point, except for being entertaining. i dunno.

oh and that fucking retarded looking mustache guy playing the insufferably dull cop. what's up with that?
i literally wanted to punch him in the throat through the screen.

[myosis]

i remember liking the conservative cop, at least the actor. isn't it john reilly ?

[teh b0lly!!1]

john c. reilly, yeah. one of those what-his-face guys, i had to google his name

[teh b0lly!!1]

Ghost Dog : Way of the Samurai

i remembered liking it a lot when i first watched it like 10 years ago. I'm sort of intending to go on a Jim Jarmusch spree so i figured i'd start here. it's amazing how growing up and developing a more profound understanding of things changes your perspective on the same things.

when I first watched it, it came off as much more straightforward to me. fine, it's a gangsta black guy doing samurai shit and narrating cold-blooded japanese excerpts here and there, and they crudely patched it up to fit into an italian mob story.
but now i see what an excercise in nuance this film is. it's all wrapped in a thin veil of hallucination-like improbable juxtapositions and it feels wonderfully surreal for it. all those out of step storylines - the little girl he befriends in the park, the french ice cream guy who's his best friend even though they don't speak the same language, the profoundly brilliant use of preexisting cartoons that tap into the undercurrents going on in the film. and the three head mobsters sitting there at that table, just manage to walk that elusive tightrope between being menacing and absolutely hilarious. it's all meticulously intertwined and it creates a truly unique and deserving take on what would usually be a very standard story.

and the cinematography only complements all this stuff and expands on it. basically half the film is dark and stark, and half of it is all about pastel-like sunlit brightness. i loved that. also, i've always been very fond of forrest whittaker. he's totally badass in this movie, but he always has this rare vulnerability shining through in every moment. maybe it's the look in the (lazy) eye.

really smart, human, and profound filmmaking. i'm actually excited to have pretty much all of Jarmusch's back catalogue to watch now.
well i mean, as excited as i can be in my sad, aimless, punctured ballsack of a life. LOL :/

[teh b0lly!!1]

tHE oTHERS (it's a super gothic, creepy movie, so i used fUCKED uP lettering!)

what a fucking piece of shit. i've been hearing about this movie for years, here and there, and it sort of has a reputation as being a creepy movie that treads a fine line between thriller and horror. well, that was bullshit. it's like a horror movie from the 80's, and has every imaginable cliche ever beaten to death stuffed up inside it: gothic victorian house, unstable female lead character, 'disturbing' children, a haunted piano that plays itself, a twist ending, whatever.

the first like, 10 minutes were decent, because kidman's character acts really irrationally and it's kind of creepy, but then that wears off and makes way for the blandest 80 minutes i've watched in a long time. i mean i liked the idea in this movie that it makes you question if it's all a product of the lead character's insanity, but that was done so much more eloquently in The Babadook.

why is it so fucking hard to find a decent horror film?

[myosis]

saw it in the theater, hated it too

[teh b0lly!!1]

so, because I have a total bro-crush on Juaquin Phoenix and his devastatingly manly blue gaze that's both cold and swimming in emotional depth, I've decided to watch Walk The Line (2005), which is a biographical movie about Johnny Cash.

it kinda treads that middle path between interesting and boring, quality and mediocre, memorable and forgettable. Juaquin Phoenix doesn't have many movies under his belt, unfortunately, and this one is from 2005, which means the movies I'd last seen him in (Her, The Master, Inherent Vice) had him in much better and more rounded out acting form. it's evident he's still a bit rough around the edges here, and although he takes his role seriously, it's doesn't become as staggeringly real as with his other films.

a particular annoyance that vexed me all throughout the film was the fact that it was very clear Juaquin Phoenix can't play a guitar to save his life. he ain't picking, he ain't chordin', he ain't badassin'. he just swings the guitar around and acts like he's air-guitaring, only with a guitar prop. that's just not good enough for a biographical movie about a man who played music for a living. it was just extremely fake and unconvincing as a musical movie.

with all that said (u think u all that b\c u know how many ppl), there are some transient peaks here and there that shine through. Phoenix shows some of that incredible acting potential that'll blow up a few years down the line (see what i did there?), and the relationship with the female lead, and with cash's father (both of which we'll cover in a moment, gentlemen - bear with me), are moving, or at least engaging.

the supporting cast is rather offbeat, featuring Reese With Her Spoon as fellow performing artist June Carter, and the T-1000 as Johnny Cash's daddy. what odd choices. they sort of work I guess. Reese Witherspoon actually put on a solid performance, and had this angelic, comforting aura about her that i found admirable how she managed to achieve.

all in all, the movie's come, the movie's gone, and i still don't know jack about Johnny Cash except a few trivia details. in Tokyo waiting for my flight to Memphis - tehbolly out.

here's krusty speaking spanish:

[run2pee]

Nice review. Haven't seen the movie, now I won't waste my time, so thanks. Spot on description of exactly what mesmerizes me about Joaquin P, too. That gaze.....

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