fatherhood thread

[cork_soaker]

post your faves and tips

http://i.imgur.com/u5XHfR4.jpg

gimme all you got

also welcome:

• non-fathers
• people who have fathers
• belgian pedos

[reprise85]

was your babby born?!?

[cork_soaker]

coming this july

hoping to get some faves/tips down in a notebook before then

[reprise85]

my only advice is to not shake it

[cork_soaker]

soliciting advice here, is basically what this is

[cork_soaker]

Originally Posted by reprise85

my only advice is to not shake it

cool

[teh b0lly!!1]

ilu cork

[cork_soaker]

ilu2 tehbols bt my daughter comes 1st we have discussed this

[cork_soaker]

Originally Posted by Poots

sleep when the baby does

seems risky how will i know it is sleeping correctly

[teh b0lly!!1]

I Have Too Many Tips To Type At The Moment (Lol)

but If I had to pipck only 1 it Would have to be:

3. Try not to burn down your own children

[qwerty sp]

If it's a girl- full Saudi treatment- burkas ect

If it's a boy- sports starting at 2 or 3 years of age

TV and rock music banned in the house

[reprise85]

you should probably feed it once in a while

[reprise85]

i hear babies like boob milk, try that

[teh b0lly!!1]

when you want to punish them, untie their shoelaces and make them run to the store to get you cigarettes.

if their knees are not bruised when they're back, no ice cream after dinner. that'll teach em!

[reprise85]

http://runt-of-the-web.com/wordpress...-M-Pampers.png

[cork_soaker]

Originally Posted by reprise85

you should probably feed it once in a while

this is a great fave/tip! noted.

now playing: once in a while -- sp

[MyOneAndOnly]

i heard that if you don't use diapers your kid will be potty trained within weeks after birth

[MyOneAndOnly]

i don't know how that happens but i read it on FB

[redbreegull]

father john misty is my favorite father

[redbreegull]

and darth vader


http://dtlon6z3v1kfl.cloudfront.net/...13/father2.jpg

[MyOneAndOnly]

every father should live long enough for his children to watch him die. just like Anakin

[ohnoitsbonnie]

A baby should sleep on their back unless your pediatrician says otherwise. No stuffed animals or blankets in the crib. Keep it clean and tidy. Keep the nursery 70-77 degrees or so and maybe with some moving air, such as from a fan. Dress them warmly.

Don't yell at your baby. Don't be mad when they are trying to communicate with you.

If your wife is breast feeding, that's great: make it meaningful and with eye contact. If not breast feeding then also good (babies need to eat). As a father you can feed them and do the same. I suggest it rather than being like my dad and being grossed out by babies or convinced it's a woman's job.

Read to them, even if they're not interested. Love them.

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Originally Posted by scottytheoneand

i heard that if you don't use diapers your kid will be potty trained within weeks after birth

This is another stage of life entirely. Infants soil themselves and you clean it up. Cloth or plastic? Your choice. Some people do both.

[MyOneAndOnly]

i have friends who use cloth diapers and wash them themselves. frankly i think i wouldn't have the patience for that

[teh b0lly!!1]

Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie

(babies need to eat)

this is a good reminder.

#feelingblessed

[MyOneAndOnly]

if you don't nurse your kid with breast milk you're a child abuser. i read that on fB too.

couple friends of mine got in a big fight over it. mom shaming

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Scotty what's with you

[buzzard]

It's been said that the earlier doses of breast milk might contain a sort of nutritional double-shot presumably aimed at lending a helping hand during those earliest days of development, so be sure to exercise patience if the desire to sample comes upon you.

Also keep in mind that it's sweeter than your gallon jug of Trader Joe's, so be sure to take a half-teaspoon or so off the sugar you might typically stir into tea or coffee.

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Creepiest comment yet?

[buzzard]

Jokes about child abuse weren't worse than one about drinking breast milk?