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Old 01-14-2013, 08:14 AM   #1
Cool As Ice Cream
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Default Oceania Lyrics- Thank you for the words

Smashing Pumpkins.

I want to say thank you for the song Oceania. You have expressed the reasons why I run from love. My talent, ambition, and drive for future have kept me at a distance. I look around trying to understand why it is that I can't find my partner. I am a kind person. But have always been"dropped" because I was to emotionally intense.I knew what people would do before it happened. I was there when they needed me before they knew they needed me. I just know things. No one has ever "gotten' me. I realize that certain people have energy that is to big for many to be around. Anyhow, I hear certain songs that stick with me because the lyrics express me or touch me. Oceania made me cry. I felt for the first time someone nailed what I feel. The words were so exact. It makes me understand that I am not the only one. I want to touch the world. I want to build a better world. But I won't let it touch me because it might hurt me. Maybe that is the yin yang pull of the Pisces heart. Anyhow, this song was a bolt of lightning to my mind. I didn't feel alone in my issue. Or crazy. Thank you for putting a bit of the soul to music and paper!

 
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Old 01-14-2013, 08:44 AM   #2
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Old 01-14-2013, 10:05 AM   #3
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Default My SP Life

“My SP Life” is my own personal story about how the Smashing Pumpkins went from an unknown artist I heard on the radio as a 10 year old to part of my daily life


PART 1: Rocking with my Air Guitar

In the summer of ‘91, my sisters and I were cleaning the backyard and we had brought out a radio to listen to as we worked. Between the 5 of us, we each got to choose a station for 10 minutes. I clearly recall turning to the local alternative rock station which I had only just started listening to a few weeks earlier. A song came on whose lyrics I couldn’t make out but which sounded like a very calm melody with a slow drum beat in the background. Suddenly these louder guitars started playing, and this crazy guitar solo was playing, and I was thinking to myself, “What is this?! It rocks!” At the tender age of 10, I had my first impression of a band which I would later be fanatic about. I heard the song again months later, and mid-way through the song, I recorded it onto a tape, missing the first few minutes of it. I still wasn’t familiar with the name of the band who played the song, and I rarely to never heard the song again on the radio.

A year later I heard the song Drown and I didn’t know at the time that this was the same band whose song I had taped off the radio so long ago. The unique sound of the guitars always made me smile, but once again, this guitar solo on a song made me think, “What is this?! Who is this?! It rocks!”

It wasn’t until ‘94 that I finally knew the name of the band: Smashing Pumpkins. I hadn’t been listening to rock music much as my school friends’ interest in music was mostly hip hop. In ‘94 I had heard some kids that I hardly knew talk about a music video with a guy in an ice cream truck. I had no idea what they were talking about as my family didn’t have cable TV. These kids said that it was the best video “ever” for some song called “Today.” So as an impressionable youth, I started to listen to the alternative rock station again and heard Today and Disarm played back to back on a “block party” weekend where the radio station played 3 songs in a row of the same band. I later taped Today, with its memorable riff and powerful guitar tones, and listened to it over and over again.

It wouldn’t be until September of 1995 that I heard these same kids who were talking about the “Today” video mention the amazement of the Smashing Pumpkins recording a double album and how the band misspelled Melancholy. It was at that moment that I knew something special was going to happen when their new album came out. I remember listening to the radio and the excitement around the time of its release with an upcoming live concert broadcast that was going happen. The DJ came on the radio saying that they just got the new Smashing Pumpkins album and they were going play some of it. They played “Tonight, Tonight,” “Jellybelly,” “Zero,” and then “Bullet with Butterfly Wings.” It was so amazing to me at the young age of 14, rocking my air guitar as Bullet was playing. They continued by playing more songs off of Mellon Collie and my mind was made up: I wanted this album!

I listened to the now famous broadcast of the ‘95 Riviera show: how they started with the same songs I had rocked out to just a few days earlier and then the sudden power failure during Zero. That night I told my mom that I wanted the new Smashing Pumpkins record for Christmas (even though I knew it was months away).

On Christmas day 1995, I was opening presents and found 2 small gifts wrapped – one larger than the other. I opened the smaller one first and saw this red cassette box with 2 smiling little girls on it. I didn’t know what it was, but I saw the title, “Smashing Pumpkins * Siamese Dream.” At this time I had no idea what was possibly on it. The larger package I opened up and recognized right away! It was Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness on cassette. I must have jumped 2 feet in the air with excitement by the arrival of this gift. I opened up the Mellon Collie cassette and looked at all the art, amazed with the kitty cats that were being married and the bunnies playing baseball. Then I saw the band’s picture for the first time: Billy Corgan standing there with his dark hair combed back, D’arcy holding a carrot as if it had some magical power, Jimmy looking like he was about to fall over, and James, well, looking like James. I would later go upstairs and open up this new — unknown to me at the time — cassette of Siamese Dream. I put on side A and these familiar drums started playing. Once again I grabbed my trusty air guitar and rocked out! The album I had never heard of ended up being one of my favorite albums of all time. I later listened to all of Mellon Collie and rocked out so much and also enjoyed “To Forgive” as it brought me back down. I even remember fast forwarding through “Tales of a Scorched Earth,” finding it too heavy for my liking, and acting super silly as I heard “We Only Come Out at Night.”>


PART 2: Seeing the Smashing Pumpkins live for my 1st time.

As the Mellon Collie era started, my excitement for the Smashing Pumpkins’ music grew. I was enjoying both Siamese Dream and Mellon Collie almost daily. I listened to the two cassettes so much that the song titles on the cassettes had worn down to gray residue. I would only turn on the radio once in a while for the purpose of trying to win stuff or for other music I liked by artists like Oasis, Presidents of the United States, Foo Fighters, Bush, and even Alanis Morissette. But still, none of these artist would stir up the excitement in me that the Pumpkins had.

I was surprised one Sunday in May of 1996. While watching the Simpsons, I saw this cartoon band playing the Smashing Pumpkins song ZERO. I immediately recognized James from the picture in the Mellon Collie booklet but was surprised that my favorite band was on the Simpsons! As the shot moved away from the band to seeing Homer Simpson walking away from the stage, I said, either out loud or in my head, “Go back! Go back! I want to see them!”

With the internet still a few years away from being available to me, and still no cable TV or music magazines coming to my home, my knowledge of what the Smashing Pumpkins were doing was limited. It wasn’t until the early summer of ‘96 that I heard on the radio that the Smashing Pumpkins were coming to the Bay Area and were playing at the Cow Palace in Daly City – a location I had only known for RV Sales from TV commercials. I didn’t know exactly where Daly City was but I knew it had to be close. I had told my friend Jeremy about wanting to go and he said he wanted to go too, so he got his ticket and I talked my mother into getting me a ticket as well. I remember the day we went to the Wherehouse Music store, and as we walked in, seeing so many copies of Mellon Collie prominently on display. There were also copies of a weird-looking green album below it. We went up to the lady employee with my mother and my $25 cash ready to buy my first Smashing Pumpkins concert ticket. It was that day that I first learned of what I later referred to as the evil surcharge. Not having enough money, my mother paid the surcharge and I had my first Smashing Pumpkins ticket for August 17th 1996, which seemed like such a long time away.

It was then on a July evening that my mom came to my room and said “Jonathan, someone in your Pumpkin band died!”

“WHAT!” I yelled as I rushed to my mother’s room where she had Entertainment Tonight on (or something like that) and they showed this hotel room that the Pumpkins were staying in. I found out that a touring keyboardist, whom I had never heard of, had died of a drug overdose. My parents started to question whether I should ever see such a band. It wasn’t until a few days later that I learned about the firing of Jimmy Chamberlin and this put my parents at ease.

The local radio station announced that the Smashing Pumpkins show would be moved to December. August felt like a long time away, but now December made me think it was never going happen. I hid my ticket away and just waited.

During that time, I had heard about a Smashing Pumpkins box set coming out that was only going be available on CD. Luckily for me, earlier that year my parents had bought me a personal CD player, so I added to my Christmas list, “Smashing Pumpkins box set”.

On December 14th the day had come. My friend and I arrived a half an hour before doors opened and found a large line. When they let us in to this huge building, I passed by the merch table that seemed to have loads of Smashing Pumpkins memorabilia. As my friend and I walked in and sat down on the cold cement waiting for the opening band of “Garbage,” we talked to the other attendees and we all talked about how long we all had waited but were excited that Garbage was opening.

When Garbage took stage, the fans took to their feet. As Garbage played “I’m Only Happy When It Rains,” the ground beneath my feet shook like a mini earthquake with the bass flying through my body and the movement of the crowd swaying side to side.

For my memories of that night, I will quote from my own personal journal which I wrote in faithfully as a teen and still do regularly as an adult:

“Last night Garbage played for 43 minutes! They played the songs “Queer,” “#1 Crush,” “Only Happy When it Rains,” and 5 other songs, and one was brand new. Also the singer was hecka fine. She was wearing a 2 piece dress and had short red hair. Two members of the band were very old looking. I couldn’t see the drummer… When the bands weren’t out on stage a big paper ball fight broke out. At about 9:30 ish the Pumpkins came on. Billy was bald and wearing a zero t-shirt and silver pants. James Iha was in a black leather suit. D’arcy had some black outfit on. Also the drummer looked odd but I didn’t even get a good look. The first song was ‘Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness’ then ‘Tonight, Tonight’ with a cool screen with a cool video playing in the background. After that, ‘Where Boys Fear to Tread’, then ‘Zero’, then ‘Cherub Rock’, ‘By Starlight’, ‘Here is no Why’, ‘Rocket’, ‘An Ode to No One’. Then a long version of ‘Porcelina’. I felt awful (from all the weed smoke around us) so my friend & I got seats during Porcelina. After we sat they played ‘Drown’, (TAFH), ‘33’, (Disarm), Then they stopped for a few minutes and all of sudden you heard ‘welcome to the only kind of circus in the world..’ followed by ‘BWBW’, ‘Muzzle’ and a long version of “Thru the Eyes of Ruby’.”

I left the show thinking, “What a crazy show…”

You can listen to this show here


PART 3: Finding the Pumpkin community online and Adore

Sometime after seeing the Smashing Pumpkins for the first time my parents bought our 1st computer and the internet enter my parents’ home. I had no idea how much this new product would change the way I would interact with my favorite band.

It was 1997 and I was choosing my AOL “screen name”. It was between MonteLDS or MonteSP at the time. I had thought to myself, well I might not always be a Smashing Pumpkin fan but I will always be LDS. Little did I know that I would also always be a Smashing Pumpkin fan.

When I first looked up “Smashing Pumpkins” on Alta Vista, I was directed to a site called Smashing-Pumpkins.net. This site apparently was ran by a fan in the UK and for the first time I became award of all the singles that the Smashing Pumpkins had released and promotional items. They were all there with beautiful art work and all sorts of information. I dived into all the information it had on the band, learning about the Siamese Dream boxset for the first time and about promotional items such as “Live in Chicago”, “Muzzel” & “Drown”. Along with commercial bootlegs. This site would latter lead me to mp3s of the Viper Room show where Billy Corgan would first premier a number of new songs for the Smashing Pumpkins next album Adore.

But the biggest thing it brought me to was something called “alt.music.smash-pumpkins”. It was full of fans who were talking about the band and giving away copies of bootlegs on tapes. I found a lot of interesting topics and I learned just how rude online Smashing Pumpkins fans were. But what I mostly took away from it was the news about the band and what they were up to.

When Adore was released I remember going to the record store, and searching for the album on June 2 1998. Somehow I ended up in the singles section and finding the “Ava Adore” single as well. I bought both and took them home. I recall my first listen to it like it was yesterday. I removed the wrapping on the car ride home and looked at all the artwork of broken down buildings and a deeply in thought Billy Corgan. Reading the poem on the back titled 17.

When I got home I went upstairs to my room placed the Adore CD into my portable Sony CD player and pressed play. I listen intensely as the CD started to load to hear a kind of hissing then this very simple guitar and Billy’s voice sounding like he was playing in a small empty room. I sat on the floor stunned at the beauty of the song. I could hear very light piano played in the background with a shallow drum beat. As Billy sung with D’arcy the words “You make me real” I felt such serenity and peace. Then when the banjo came in and I was in complete awe. The song was so powerful and warm that as the last lines were sung a tear fell from my eyes. As I heard what sounded like a shooting star to end the song I immediately pressed the back button to listen to the song again. The rest of the album was just so different than what I had heard from Mellon Collie and The Areoplane box set.

A few weeks later I would have the chance to see the Smashing Pumpkins for the 2nd time with the same friend whom I had seen the Smashing Pumpkins with for first time. We had bought tickets late and had to sit way up high in assigned seats. I was surprised to see the whole floor was also assigned seating for “an evening with the Smashing Pumpkins”. As the show started with To Sheila, it was so amazing what they did for the song for the live atmosphere. The show was awesome with my favorite live version of Bullet with Butterfly Wings. During the tour the Smashing Pumpkins were donating all the proceeds of the show to charity and in honor of this charity the city of San Francisco had a representative give the key to the city to the Pumpkins and declared June 30th 1998 Smashing Pumpkin day and Billy saying while holding the key “you know what this mean, we now have keys to all your houses”. I remember leaving the show thinking about how much I enjoyed this show even more than the 1st show and how I couldn’t wait to see them again!


PART 4: Crestfallen Promo & My Smashing Pumpkins Collection

With the new information I had found on the internet about Smashing Pumpkins, I would discovered a world of collecting that I never knew about. When I had seen the Smashing Pumpkins in 1996 & 1998, I hadn’t bought anything from the merchandise tables. But in 1998 I bought my first “collectable” items. A friend told me at school one day that in the Used section at a local record store, they had seen a single for Crestfallen. I wasn’t sure what it could possibly have been, so after school I headed on over to the record store and there it was. A Crestfallen Promo for $4.50. I examined the artwork which looked similar to the Adore art work and font. Also that day, I picked up a copy of the USA version of Perfect as well as an import of Perfect that contained a “perfecto mix.”

When I got home, I contacted the Smashing-Pumpkins.net webmaster but got no reply, so I then emailed the Netphoria.org webmaster and offered them the scans of Crestfallen.

My interest in this rare find would later turn me on to looking for other Smashing Pumpkins items I had never had before. I bought copies of Gish and Pisces Iscariot for the first time. I went on to collect a large amount of Smashing Pumpkins items bought from eBay or from stores if I knew I didn’t already have them. Along with posters, shirts, DVDs, collecting bootleg audio and obtaining pre-Gish music, my collection at the time contained very valuable items that I later regretted selling, such as the Daphne Descends promo, Muzzel Promo, and Mellon Collie 3LP. But I would keep things such as my Crestfallen Promo, To Sheila promo and my 1994 Earphoria promo.


PART 5: The Return and Exit of the original Smashing Pumpkins line up 1999

In early 1999, rumors that Jimmy Chamberlin might return to the Smashing Pumpkins were swirling around the internet. I had no idea what Jimmy would bring to a live concert as I had missed my chance to see the original line up due to his firing. In April 1999 the Smashing Pumpkins would start there “Arising Tour” with the original line up.

Online the Smashing Pumpkins published the first 3 songs with the band together for the first time in Detroit, Michigan. I clearly recall watching online the set starting with I Am One, and the screaming crowd, as Jimmy Chamberlin returned to drums, followed by Zero and a new darker version of Pug. The first Adore song to have a touch of Jimmy Chamberlin on drums. I would also never forget seeing D’arcy wearing this large white hat with her new big red lips. As well as seeing a short haired and blonde Jimmy Chamberlin.Along with all the digital pictures that the Smashing Pumpkins new official website would post.

At the time I was too young to travel to see these shows. But the power the band was playing in these 3 videos really excited me for a future tour. A day or two later I would hear a bootleg copy of the show and find some of the new material a bit confusing. I never had heard songs played live by the band before a studio release, so I was unable to process the songs. But I found, The Imploding Voicei and Dross to be really cool. And my excitement to see the band as the original line up grew! It would later come light that D’arcy had left the band in September. I was shocked and bewildered.

A few days later I would learn that the Smashing Pumpkins were going to be playing locally on October 30th and 31st at the Bridge School Benefit. I attended the 31st show alone only planning on staying for the Smashing Pumpkins set. I wasn’t sure what to expect at a show that I knew they would only play for 25 mins or so. I found a spot on the grass and saw a handful of other Smashing Pumpkins fans about my age that I talked and befriended. This acoustic set was so pleasant and the surprise appearance of Jimmy Chamberlin was very interesting. I recall hearing “Age of Innocence” and thinking how cool it was. When the set ended the fans I had met said they were going to do some “Pumpkin hunting”. At the time I thought that was strange. Little did I know how I would do this myself in the future. Having never met any of the band members before I chose to stick around on the grass. I stayed for a little while then took off during the Green Day set.

Later that year I would learn the title of the new album Machina/And the machines of God. The title would originally kind of rub me the wrong way. Also D’arcy replacement was announced by someone named Melissa Auf der Maur. Someone I had never heard of but that the online community would seem to know for sure.


PART 6: The Edge

The online world gave me a glimpse of the Smashing Pumpkins drama that I would otherwise never known, but nothing could prepare me for what the year 2000 would hold. Although, with the end of the world coming with Y2K it should of came as no surprise that My SP Life might be coming to a sudden end

With the release of Machina just around the corner the Smashing Pumpkins plan to play a couple of small clubs for a tour called “Resume the Pose”. A lot these shows were announced the day before ticket sales and all tickets were sold at the small venues only. I was luckily listening to the radio at 10am in the morning when they announcement that the Smashing Pumpkins would be playing at a small night club called The Edge in Palo Alto, about 40 minutes from my house. Tickets were limited to 2 a person and would go on sale the next day at 10am. I originally wasn’t sure if I wanted to go but a friend online had said, ‘how likely is it that you will ever get to see them at a tiny club?’. And another online friend said ‘I bet people are ling up right now’. So I called up my buddy Jeremy and asked him if he would take me across the bay to the venue. Like a good friend he came on by and took me out there. We were both only 19 years old and He thought it was crazy that I would stand in line for over 20 hours to get tickets for a concert. But I saw it as an adventure.

When I arrived, I found a very small handful of people there in line. I was kind of nervous but sat down and started to wait. That night I would meet so many different fans and talk to everyone who showed up that night. Counting how many people were in line and never getting a wink of sleep. I had the chance to talk to so many fans who had seen so many more Smashing Pumpkins show.

The following week I would show up around 9am, I had dressed up in my ZERO shirt and silver pants for the concert. Finding two other fans already in line they told me it had just been announced that day the Smashing Pumpkins would be at the local tower records store this afternoon signing posters. I however had grown such love for being in line from the week before I chose to stay in line. I had still never met the band before and hand no sense of what I might be missing. So I stayed in line and saved peoples spots in line as they would go to the record store in hopes to get something signed.

These good people who I met in line were so kind that they did something really touching. Even as I type this it chocks me up a bit. The fans who went had gotten back in line a 2nd time for my behalf to get the band to sign a poster for me. They told Billy how I was such a big fan that I wouldn’t even leave the line. There kindness and care will always remain with me.

They also came back with a 7 track promo CD they had gotten and someone had a boom box that we listen to it on. Hearing The Everlasting Gaze, I Am One, Disarm, Starla, Bullet w/ Butterfly Wings, Medallia of the Gray Skies and then we heard for the first time, the song Waiting. We were all stun by its beauty. For myself I was in gulfed by the song.

When the doors open we all squeezed inside this tiny venue. Before the band took stage it was unreal but fans chanted my names for a few seconds. And then chanted for the band to come on stage. And then the band came out. Here I was dead center in front of my favorite artist in a tiny club. As the 1st song starts the crowd pushes me forward into the rail and the rock and roll party is on its way!

This show would end up being the most memorable nights seeing the Smashing Pumpkins play. And how fitting that the club was called The Edge, as soon My SP Life would be pushed off that edge and into a free fall. You can listen to the show here


PART 7: Saying Hello & Goodbye to the Smashing Pumpkins (you know they made me cry)

After having seen the Smashing Pumpkins at such an intimate show on the 6th of February I was shocked when learning only a few days later (26th of February) that the Smashing Pumpkins would return to San Francisco on March 6th to do a signing at the Virgin Megastore, like they had done at the record store the day of the Edge show.

A fan that I had known online meet up on the morning of the 6th at the local BART train station to ride into San Francisco together to wait in line around 6 in the morning. I had brought a some silly gifts for the band members; a Superman jacket for Melisa, an Alf doll for James, a colorful cat in the hat for Jimmy, and a VHS tape for Billy that contained a music video my friend and I had made for our communication class the year before to the song Crestfallen. I had brought a long a Superman bust for the band to sign as they were my super heroes in music.

When we arrived, I recognized the kind people who had meet from the Edge show just a month ago. The signing wouldn’t be till much later that day, but I didn’t want to miss the chance to meet the band. As I waited in line my mind wander about how much time we would get to talk to the band, but my excitement just to meet some of my personal musical hero’s was just too exciting. Some of the fans in the line said the Smashing Pumpkins wanted to play a short hour show in conjunction with the signing as they had done with other record store signings but it didn’t work out.

As the security let us in the girl who I had come with on BART started to cry (perhaps tears of joy). We traveled up to the top floor of the Virgin Megastore and there they were sitting at a long table with a Machina era poster behind them. I was only a few fans behind the 1st person in line when the line started to move. The 1st person was Melisa. I handed her the jacket and told her thank you so much for the great show the month before. She was so gentle and friendly and signed my superman and wrote a large “A” on the top of his head. Next would be James, I handed him the Alf doll he looked at it confessed and said ‘you want me to sign this?” I told him, that it was for him he gave me an awkward thanks and went to sign the Superman. Jimmy gave me an enthusiastic hello, as I gave him the cat in the hat, hat he put it right on. It was the most uplifting thing after the little bit of awkwardness with James. I will never forget that moment with Jimmy. When it came to Billy, he was having an interview with the local radio station, my first thought was ‘how rude that the radio station would butt in when they were there for fans’. But I almost immediately understood that there time was limited and this is still a job. I didn’t want to interrupt the interview so I handed Billy the Superman Bust expecting him to sign his name on the S as there wasn’t much room left, but he turned it around and signed the back of his neck. I then placed the tape down in front of him and quickly said, that my friend and I made this video. He smiled politely and then I followed the line down the stairs and out the door. I left the store kind of unsure of what just happen.

The Smashing Pumpkins would later return to Berkley on May 24th the day after the Billy announced on KROQ that the band was calling it quit. I started to feel lost and the Machina mystery wasn’t helping as it was hard to understand at the time. Before the Berkeley show the nice people who I knew from the Edge show were on the side of the road when I showed up. I came over just in time when Billy would come out quickly and say hello to them. He was asked why the band was calling it a day where he said it was just the right time. I bravely asked him about (what I now know to be a kind of pointless gift) the VHS tape and if he ever saw it or if it just landed in a pile of a bunch of random stuff. To which he said “ likely in the pile”.

This would be my last Smashing Pumpkins that I would ever see James at and I left it with a lot of enjoyment and sadness. As the year would come to the end the Smashing Pumpkins would play the “last show” at the metro. I would just stay home as they would play their last song. And on Dec 3rd 2000 as the guitars went silent. I would think this was the end of My SP Life until they would rise again like a phoenix in 2007.

 
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Old 01-14-2013, 10:08 AM   #4
Cool As Ice Cream
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The diversity of the Smashing Pumpkins music in the mind of a BP/SP. by Corenski

Your lover has left you. It was not a mutual break-up. You’re Bipolar. Your favorite band is The Smashing Pumpkins. For the sake of simplification let’s call you a BP/SP, a Bipolar Smashing Pumpkin (fan). What do you do? Nothing consistent. If external stability is what you need to combat the inner turmoil, then you’ve chosen to follow the wrong band. Mainstream music journalists are happy to lump the Pumpkins beneath the umbrella term of “alternative”. Devoted fans understand that the Pumpkins are more difficult, if not impossible, to define using conventional genre labels. Even in their earliest effort, Nothing Ever Changes, it was not simple. They were a Cure-esque, sorta/kinda New Wave, goth-pop-rock group. Since then the entity known as the Smashing Pumpkins has existed in a constant state of flux, much like the mood of a Bipolar person.

Over the years, Psychedelic, Acoustic, Electronica, Heavy Metal, Synth-pop, Industrial, Shoegazer, and simple Pop-Rock, have all been tags attached to the band’s sound. They transcend classifications such as alternative or rock, much like Bipolar people often don’t fit clinical diagnoses such as depressive, or manic. Those suffering from Bipolar disorder can display a wide range of moods within a short time frame. These moods can be described as; sad, energetic, apathetic, lethargic, irrational, angry, charismatic, and unfortunately, reckless. This is precisely why the Pumpkins are a perfect band for a Bipolar person. No matter their mood, there is a song, or an entire album, that jives perfectly in sync with what they are feeling.

To return to the original scenario, a dedicated BP/SP has found themselves unexpectedly single. Their pillow is present to soak up any spontaneous tears spawned by sudden inexplicable suicidal urges, but that’s not enough. Naturally they turn to their favorite band, whose music (due to the diversity it offers), serves as a curative all-purpose fix for any situation. Stumbleine almost lulls them to sleep. A lovely, somberly-sweet melody that makes them lament the loss of their significant other. Yet somehow simultaneously the song makes them feel that the split was for the best. Maybe they’re still riding an adrenalin rush from the climax of Ruby (that come down’s always been rough). Or perhaps that pillow of theirs is simply too soft to resist. For the moment however, Stumbleine makes them believe that it’s ok to be heartbroken sometimes.

Then comes a hard rocking sonic shift, bombarding the subdued, love-sick BP/SP. Feelings of sadness, self loathing, lamentation, and possibly even forgiveness for the hater of their heart, are all but forgotten. X.Y.U. puts them more so in the mood for revenge. An anthem of angst churning disdain for the cause of their hurt, “and into the eyes of the jackal” they scream “the world owes me”. Out of tune lyrics are shrieked between cracks in their voice. They forbid themselves to weep any longer. They are overcome with rage yet at the same time the song is channeling their demons, funneling them out and away. “You don’t need her; you can do better than him.” Empowered, they feel they can conquer the pain of unrequited passion. Mental illness or not, they will solider on, they will… be reminded of how pathetic and empty they are. Beautiful, re-breaks their fragile BP/SP heart with a slide show of their former love’s face. This is but a short, fictitious documentation of what an SP listening experience can be like for a BP/SP. Personally, I have been an avidly obsessed SP fan for nearly 20 years, and a BP/SP for 10 to 13 years. Doctors describe my Bipolar disorder as “severe”, the same word friends use to describe my Pumpkin-fandom. I can only speculate as to what life is like for other BP/SPs. I am however, confident that others exist, and that “BP/SP” isn’t just a term I narcissistically coined to depict myself. Hypothetically thinking, even if I am the only BP/SP, there are still parallels to be drawn between me, and the SP fan base at large. Being a fan of the Pumpkins, and being bipolar are very similar. Sure, one is mental and one is musical, but inconsistency is what links the two. We’re always surprised by what comes next.

Throughout my days, I cannot hope to predict what the next hour will mean to me emotionally. For Pumpkin fans, imagine you’re listening to a new SP album for the first time, or remember back to your first listen of any album from the band’s discography. Just as I have no idea what mood I’ll be in next, SP fans have no idea what tone or style the next track on a new Pumpkins record will bring. The real question is (in terms of mood or music), will we like what’s next? When I enter into a low period, I don’t enjoy being depressed, mania is more fun. Mania can even be mistaken for happiness. Non-BP/SP fans don’t always enjoy every track on an album, or every era of the band’s evolution. In contrast to myself, (hating my lows and loving my highs) the average SP fan seems to embrace the band’s lows, and strongly dislike the band’s highs, i.e. depressing SP music (like Melon Collie) = good. Happy SP music (like Teargarden, or Zwan for that matter) = crap.

In my own experience, my disorder has perhaps made me a super SP fan. The reason for this is simple. You see, when I’m in a particular mood, I am deeply engrossed in that mood. Anything that matches my mind set, I unquestionably fall in love with. This zealous affair does not end when I veer towards another emotion. This has resulted in me developing an overly eclectic taste in music, my CD library hosting artists from nearly every genre. It also means that, I have an unrelenting love and appreciation for everything in the Pumpkins’ catalogue. Out of the hundreds of songs that Billy Corgan has wrote, there is but a hand full that I’m not completely in love with. I have never been taken off guard, nor have I, been skeptical of any new direction in which the band has taken.

I am in no way insinuating that one must be Bipolar to truly cherish the great SP’s full body of work. I am, however, suggesting that it might help. There are varying levels of fandom surrounding the band. Being as versatile as the Smashing Pumpkins are, it only makes sense that the appeal of their music is as far reaching as it is. From passive listener to memorabilia collector, there are no boundaries.

Causal listeners delight in singing along with the radio singles, but have never dabbled in the band’s album offerings. Gen-1 fans resist anything post Judas’ O. “Era-Fans”, are a strange breed, with rigid preferences and specific cutoff dates for how far their fandom runs, ie; the band ended in 1995-97, all else is tripe. “Genre-Fan” are uncommon, but do exist with well crafted mp3 playlists. They indulge in only one style of the Pumpkins. For example, Electronic/Industrial fans who love all Pumpkin songs that boarder those genres. It begins with The End is the Beginning is the End, and Eye. Then Adore’s electronic gems, any remixes available, and even select tracks from The Future Embrace. I’ve been told For God and Country is iffy territory. There is also the acoustic crowd. Folk followers who reject the electric. University taught me that there is an abundance of this hippie subculture.

The final sub-category of SP fans are the Ghost Children, those who must hear every new song released. Conservative estimates predict that the ranks of these hardest of hard-core fans have dwindled to as little as 10,000 in recent years. The band was building its fan base until around ‘95 or ‘96 when their legions of listeners peaked. Since then, it seems that every year has seen more of decline. I refuse to entertain the notion that this is because newer SP music is lacking in quality when compared to the older material. I believe Billy Corgan’s song writing abilities have never waned. The only thing that has changed over the years is the style of the music.

To be stagnant, is to be boring, doomed to be trapped in an endless cycle of reinventing the same album. Alas, the masses are ultimately uncomfortable with change. People get set in their ways. Their tastes and interests narrow, eventually plateauing so that they only like one genre or one era of music, and so brings me to my thesis; living with Bipolar disorder means that I have an infinitesimal amount of consistency in my life, and therefore I have no expectations of consistency for the rest of the world. One positive aspect about my disorder (perhaps the only positive thing about it), is that it has given me an oddly unique world view. In regards to the Pumpkins, I feel that I am more accepting of change, where as non BP/SP fans are not. This is partly the reason why so many have jumped off the Pumpkin-wagon over the years. The evolving musical style of the band has alienated many fans along the way. The same people also feel downright betrayed by the rotating line up of band members, but that’s an entirely different topic.

My final question is, if the hardliner Pumpkin fans do indeed only number around 10,000 then how many of us could be classified as BP/SP? Honestly though, how many? Keep in mind, we do follow a perpetually experimental Pisces who changes his musical style every other year. There’s also his ever changing mind, fashion, band members, and band names. From The Marked to Backwards Clock Society, we are the few who have held on, and we will never let go. Others have found Mr. Corgan’s antics to be frustrating, and too much bother or drama to follow. The faithful 10,000, and we the BP/SP among them, have always been left entertained by each new metamorphosis and more importantly, we always want more.

As I await the release of Oceania, I am filled with anticipation. No matter what the album sounds like, I will love it. Maybe not immediately, but when the right mood eclipses my mind, I’ll fall in love, and Oceania will help through me something – I have no idea what; every album SP has ever made has enriched my life somehow. Truthfully, Billy Corgan’s music has saved me from myself more than once. Being Bipolar has not destroyed me. The disorder has not consumed me whole, because listening to the Smashing Pumpkins has made me believe that there are pieces of me that are worth holding onto. It’s made me not feel ashamed of my feelings, and that is something I really needed, and continue to need. I am a proud BP/SP! For that, I hope to have the opportunity to thank Billy in person someday.

 
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Old 01-14-2013, 10:09 AM   #5
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The Smashing Pumpkins online: By Scotty

In this post I am going to cover some of the best sites online to find Smashing Pumpkins information. The first place that most new Smashing Pumpkins fans usually go to look for info on the band is the band’s official website, www.smashingpumpkins.com. It has some good stuff, like free music from the Teargarden By Kaleidyscope project, links to the official Pumpkins pages on Youtube, Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter, as well as official videos and an active message board. If you’re a new fan and you’re looking for more, you’ll have to turn to Smashing Pumpkins fan sites.

The short list of fan sites and descriptions below is not meant to be definitive. In fact, there are dozens and maybe even hundreds of active fan websites on the internet, not only in English speaking countries, but all over the world. The sites below are just a few, but they’re some of the most active, interesting or infamous sites on the band. They represent the best starting places for fans seeking out more about the band or the band’s fan communities.

New Smashing Pumpkins fans who spend some time looking online will find that not only does the band have a massive catalog of music and storied history, but that the band has a very active and vocal fan base – one that has, for over two decades, fostered a sense of community around the band that is unlike any other. If you haven’t visited the fan websites listed below, we hope you do soon. There is more information online about The Smashing Pumpkins than you can imagine.

www.spfc.org

Think of spfc.org as an archive of everything Smashing Pumpkins. For years it has been THE source for Smashing Pumpkins information online. The site houses a massive amount of Pumpkins information, everything from tour history to guitar tabs. Have you ever wondered how many shows the band played in 1988? (The answer is 14). Want the bass tabs for a couple of hundred Pumpkins songs? Spfc.org has it. Have you been looking for bio information on the band? You can find that too at spfc.org, including bios for touring members and producers, like Flood. Want lyrics to a Pumpkins or Zwan song? They’re all there, including rare tunes like Medellia of the Gray Skies or new songs like Owata. How many songs are there in the spfc.org songlist? Take a look, because you’ll probably never guess! Spfc.org is so rich in archive information that you may find yourself getting lost in the site. It is the definitive source for just about everything Pumpkins.

www.bystarlight.org

Bystarlight.org is a photo archive site. With new photos uploaded regularly by fans, as well as photos from previous online photo archives, bystarlight.org has quickly become a uniquely thorough source for Pumpkins-related photos. The archive on the site is organized by “era” and currently includes over 9000 photos, including still shots of the band, promotional artwork, fan photos from live shows and even memorabilia. There’s also a blog-styled ‘Updates’ page that provides info to fans regarding the status and development of the photo archive.

Bystarlight.org is growing every day. You won’t find another fan site like it anywhere. If you have Pumpkins related photos that you would like to contribute to the archive, check out the FAQ page.

thepumpkins.net

Thepumpkins.net is an online “community” that includes not only a traditional fan website, but also a blog, photo and artwork archive, guitar tabs, fan videos and internet bulletin board. It’s a great starting point for new fans who want to explore a portion of the online SP fan community.

Ozphoria.com

Ozphoria an Australian Smashing Pumpkins fan community that’s been online since 2002. The site follows current news of the band as well as past Pumpkins members. While the site is a great place for fans down under, it’s also a great website for fans all over the world. The site is organized around a blog that is updated regularly, and it includes a very active message board where fans discuss everything Smashing Pumpkins.

www.starla.org/

“Besides being a portal to other quality Pumpkins related sites STARLA.org serves as a host for a collection of unique sub sites with excellent content. Despite some of them being outdated, they still provide excellent source of information.”

www.splra.org

“The SPLRA was formed and began operating full-scale September 1, 1997. It’s main focus at that time was to record as much as possible of the Smashing Pumpkins adore promotional tour.” Splra.org today exists as an online Wiki that continues to compile Smashing Pumpkins recordings.

www.spfreaks.com

Not to be confused with spfreak.com (a Southpark fan site). spfreaks.com “was set up in 2003 based on an idea of 3 major international collectors of Smashing Pumpkins memorabilia.” While the site continues today as a kind of hub or clearing house for serious SP collectors, it’s also a fun place for new fans to poke around as well.

-Scotty

 
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Old 01-14-2013, 10:09 AM   #6
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fuck you, scotty.

 
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Old 01-14-2013, 10:48 AM   #7
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Best part was when the article first came out, I think it mentioned Netphoria and that has since been erased.

 
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Old 01-14-2013, 11:13 AM   #8
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I didnt' erase it. I don't have access to the site anymore. that ended when the Machina eBay nonsense went on.

I have been excommunicated from that part of the intertubes.

 
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Old 01-14-2013, 12:41 PM   #9
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fuck you, scotty.

 
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Old 01-14-2013, 01:08 PM   #10
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you must spread some reputation around before giving it to Cool As Ice Cream again

 
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Old 01-14-2013, 11:18 PM   #11
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vat... vat is deese

 
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Old 01-14-2013, 11:20 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scottytheoneand View Post
I have been excommunicated from that part of the intertubes.
wow even sucky people think you suck

 
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Old 01-14-2013, 11:57 PM   #13
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Everything after 2000 sucks.

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 12:51 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Starla View Post
Everything after 2000 sucks.
No.









etc.

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 01:06 AM   #15
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everything after zwan is questionable

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 01:14 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slunken View Post
everything after zwan is questionable
ammmm no











etc.

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 01:37 AM   #17
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despite the fact that corgan and roth are rock legends that performance of gossamer is forced and uninspiring but then again so is the song :/

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 01:38 AM   #18
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not to mention all the wankery

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 02:18 AM   #19
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shut the fuck up lala and stop posting youtube clips in my thread jesus fucking christ you fucking piece of shit i think you've got the wrong board check this out www.smashingpumpkins.com/board_new

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 02:27 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cool As Ice Cream View Post
shut the fuck up lala and stop posting youtube clips in my thread jesus fucking christ you fucking piece of shit i think you've got the wrong board check this out www.smashingpumpkins.com/board_new

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 02:46 AM   #21
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http://forums.netphoria.org/profile....ignore&u=29369

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 03:20 AM   #22
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hahaha I have the same list

oh nevermind

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 03:25 AM   #23
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hmmm... heh...

what is your list, by the way? i've got scotty and lala.

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 03:28 AM   #24
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thank you for the days
those endless days
those sacred days
you gave me

i'm thinking of the days
i won't forget
a single day
believe me

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 08:35 AM   #25
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Hey Guys,

Looking for hand signed Pumpkins memorabilia to complete my collection and frame.

So far I have hand signed Disarm single CD by Billy
hand signed Adore album CD by Billy, D'arcy and James
Used guitar picks from Melissa and Ginger

Mainly looking for signed drum stick/s from JC or anything else offered.

Reasonable priced.

Also anyone know of any pics that include all band members. currently creating a poster to accompany the signed albums and picks.

Cheers.

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 08:36 AM   #26
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im meaning of all band members inc MADM, Ginger (all 9). Doing one myself using photoshop. Will post the finished design

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 08:36 AM   #27
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10 hours of work on Photoshop but im chuffed with this.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php...type=1&theater

will look good in 70x100cm frame with hand signed Disarm single CD by Billy
hand signed Adore album CD by Billy, D'arcy and James
Used guitar picks from Melissa and Ginger
And yesterday i purchased Jimmy Chamberlin signed drum sticks!

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 08:37 AM   #28
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Okay due to US ebay end times i lost out on Adore album while fast asleep (Gutted)

Currently looking for any signed single/album by D'arcy or James (pref all 4)

Surely someone has a few collectables hidden away and wouldnt mind parting with one and make a fan very happy?

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 09:00 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cool As Ice Cream View Post
10 hours of work on Photoshop but im chuffed with this.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php...type=1&theater

will look good in 70x100cm frame with hand signed Disarm single CD by Billy
hand signed Adore album CD by Billy, D'arcy and James
Used guitar picks from Melissa and Ginger
And yesterday i purchased Jimmy Chamberlin signed drum sticks!
link not working

 
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Old 01-15-2013, 09:07 AM   #30
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