I want to die

[FlamingGlobes]

Ok.

[Joey Goldberg]

the most appropriate post FlamingGloabs never made

[wHATcOLOR]

i feel comfortable speaking for everyone here when i say we do not want you to die

[ilikeplanets]

[FlamingGlobes]

Show him the puppy, ilp. That'll turn this thing around.

[FlamingGlobes]

Originally Posted by Joey Goldberg

the most appropriate post FlamingGloabs never made

Nobody knows what they're
Doing here

[Disco King]

He better not have offed himself after I specifically told him not to.

[FlamingGlobes]

[FlamingGlobes]

[Disco King]

Hey Shallowed what's been going on as of late? I do remember that not too long ago, you were having quite a few novel experiences like playing on stage, building a new circle of friends, getting more into activism (yes, yes, despite being white; shut up for a second, you-know-who-you-are), and generally being more social? I do suppose the current situation has put a damper on that, but have you been keeping in touch with people technologically?

How are your relationships with your folks? That can be pretty important when you're living with them. How about friendships? Dating? Hobbies? Have you been keeping yourself occupied?

[vixnix]

https://www.gutenberg.org/

This place is good if you haven’t seen it before...days are getting shorter here and life is miserable...maybe hunker down, lose yourself in books and ride it out until you feel better.

[Shallowed]

Originally Posted by Disco King

Hey Shallowed what's been going on as of late? I do remember that not too long ago, you were having quite a few novel experiences like playing on stage, building a new circle of friends, getting more into activism (yes, yes, despite being white; shut up for a second, you-know-who-you-are), and generally being more social? I do suppose the current situation has put a damper on that, but have you been keeping in touch with people technologically?

How are your relationships with your folks? That can be pretty important when you're living with them. How about friendships? Dating? Hobbies? Have you been keeping yourself occupied?

"novel" is an appropriate word to describe those experiences, because they haven't been the norm. Most of the time, I've been very isolated even before there was news of the pandemic. Loneliness makes me crave social interaction, which pushes me into the outside world, but my social anxiety makes me feel out of place and peripheral. I don't really have any circles of friends, as such. Any circles I've passed through are already well-established, well-fostered and have their own histories that I have nothing to do with.

I'm not staying with my family any more, I've moved back to Auckland.

I spend as much time as possible sleeping, because it's preferable to being awake.

[Elphenor]

peripheral

feel this a lot

[Elphenor]

like the wallflower everywhere you go, that was me for so long

lately I've got a couple of friends that I feel like I can really call my own, and it's made a huge difference in my mental health

[reprise85]

i hope you feel better soon man

[Shallowed]

FUCK THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE

[run2pee]

Sorry shallowed

Maybe u could play some sad guitar, that always helped me when i was feeling kinda the way u seem to be describe u are maybe feeling

[Shadaloo]

Thread reminds me of this song



I've got little to contribute that's useful but the world can't be all that bad because that song is in it.

Also I empathize completely.

Hope things look up.

[Shallowed]

I relate to the title of that song a lot

the world IS all that bad

[buzzard]

Have you been utilising your recording expertise much in recent times?

[Shallowed]

no

[buzzard]

Do you maintain opinions on the subject, such as in regard to microphone placement within the context of recording fuzz-riddled guitars?

[Shallowed]

I wouldn't say I maintain them

I don't know shit

[Disco King]

I thought that only rich people have nice enough equipment and recording spaces to justify micing their amps, and that the rest of us just record directly into our interfaces or soundcards or whatever.

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by Shallowed

"novel" is an appropriate word to describe those experiences, because they haven't been the norm. Most of the time, I've been very isolated even before there was news of the pandemic. Loneliness makes me crave social interaction, which pushes me into the outside world, but my social anxiety makes me feel out of place and peripheral. I don't really have any circles of friends, as such. Any circles I've passed through are already well-established, well-fostered and have their own histories that I have nothing to do with.

I'm not staying with my family any more, I've moved back to Auckland.

I spend as much time as possible sleeping, because it's preferable to being awake.

Ah, I know those feels of sleeping because it's like getting to be dead without disappointing your family.

The friend groups I've hung out with are also ones that are well-established. Many of these people have been friends with each other since childhood. I think I can see the benefits of that, though. For example, not having super deep social ties means that I'm usually spared any intra-group drama. You'd think that stuff stop existing after high school, but apparently it doesn't. Adults never stop being petty or precious. But it's nice that I'm never really directly involved in any disputes, asked to pick sides, whatever. I'm just there for, like, hanging out and whatever. Still, I do get that feeling of being on the periphery, a "tag-alonger," when I notice that friends in one of my groups in particular (the other ones seem more appreciative of me) interrupt me more often, seem less interested in what I have to say than what others have to say, leave me out of the loop for certain things, etc. But like, it is what it is. I spent most of my life having zero friends at all and didn't stark making any until adulthood. And I'm sure, all things considered, having friend groups that you don't feel totally integrated with is better than when you didn't have any groups. At least you have people you can do stuff with sometimes if you want to.

[Shallowed]

to be clear, that whole thing is far from the only reason that I feel this way, and not particularly the central reason either. I was just responding to that particular element that you brought up.

It's all mostly your typical existential dread and frustration with capitalism but it's hard for me to explain in full detail and properly give it justice. I'm not as good as you are at making in depth walls of text.

[Cool As Ice Cream]

Originally Posted by Shallowed

I'm not as good as you are at making in depth walls of text.

nothing wrong with shallow puddles of letters.

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by Shallowed

to be clear, that whole thing is far from the only reason that I feel this way, and not particularly the central reason either. I was just responding to that particular element that you brought up.

It's all mostly your typical existential dread and frustration with capitalism but it's hard for me to explain in full detail and properly give it justice. I'm not as good as you are at making in depth walls of text.

Yeah, I didn't figure the lack of socialization was your main issue. I just hear that dealing with these feelings is supposed to be easier while leveraging social supports.

[Shallowed]

My serotonin is null

I feel like I'm having a bad trip even though I'm sober

[Disco King]

Currently on meds?

Are you diagnosed bipolar, or major depressive? I don't remember, but I feel like it may be the former because I remember seeing posts that kinda looked like manic episodes in the past. Not that I'm a doctor or nothin'.