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Old 01-30-2018, 04:28 PM   #5671
ilikeplanets
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just tell 'em to go away

 
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Old 01-30-2018, 04:30 PM   #5672
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feeding my daughter fruits is hilarious, she hates them so much! i figure she would love them because she would kick like crazy when i would eat them while i was pregnant with her....or maybe she hated them then too and was protesting. at least she likes vegetables!

 
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Old 01-30-2018, 04:53 PM   #5673
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Originally Posted by myosis View Post
they tried to come in at 8 o'clock. is that standard?
I believe nine is when we were supposed to start tapping meekly and murmuring "housekeeping".

Hehe good times.

 
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Old 01-30-2018, 08:07 PM   #5674
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Originally Posted by ilikeplanets View Post
feeding my daughter fruits is hilarious, she hates them so much! i figure she would love them because she would kick like crazy when i would eat them while i was pregnant with her....or maybe she hated them then too and was protesting. at least she likes vegetables!

Vegetables and not fruit? What a queer little urchin

 
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Old 01-30-2018, 08:21 PM   #5675
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cork_soaker View Post
this kind of upheaval is mind-boggling

i feel as though i'm stretched nearly to my limits with a new daughter (far from the actual truth, of course; it's just an emotional and physical extreme new to my experience). but it's put me in a state where it's as if anything else shifted or became imminently or obviously uncertain — be it job, relationship, living situation, etc, there would simply be no resources left with which to deal

i admire your fortitude
hang in there. I never had a kid. that's a different kind of stress.

i don't know about fortitude, though. it was keep living or kill myself. last year was really really bad. I was suicidal for months. I had planned to kill myself and prepped for it.

And it's not over. I'm in the same house with my soon to be ex until the end of next week. my last day of work is tomorrow. I have to go to a completely new company and hope to gawd that my new insurance covers my meds and that I can finaly come out and stop dressing like a guy at work






.

Last edited by MyOneAndOnly : 01-30-2018 at 08:30 PM.

 
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Old 01-30-2018, 11:47 PM   #5676
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Originally Posted by qwerty sp View Post
Vegetables and not fruit? What a queer little urchin
i know, she's quite funny! even her doctor warned me to give her veggies first because once she had the fruit she would hold out for it. lol WRONG

there's also meat baby food but i reallllly don't want to give her that, it looks like cat food. her formula has enough nutrients in it that i don't *have* to give it to her, and can just feed her regular proteins when she has enough teeth.

she's really starting to get a personality now, which is soooo much fun to be a part of.

 
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Old 01-30-2018, 11:48 PM   #5677
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oh and she responds to her name which is heart-meltingly adorable

 
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Old 01-31-2018, 04:31 PM   #5678
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i know what you mean. i want to laugh and cry every time karl does it.

 
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Old 01-31-2018, 06:20 PM   #5679
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Aphelion just accepted my Mormon Zombie Apocalypse. Dude said it was 'fun'.

LORD OF THIS WORLD EVIL POSSESSOR

 
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Old 01-31-2018, 06:28 PM   #5680
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Hello, Thanks for your submission! This story is a lot of fun and I’m looking forward to putting it in our February issue! However, if you could send me a short bio to put up with it I’d appreciate it. It doesn’t have to be too long, just 3 or 4 sentences, although it can be longer if you like, and I’d need it preferably by this Friday.


FUCK YES

 
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Old 01-31-2018, 06:46 PM   #5681
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Congrats, bitchin

 
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Old 01-31-2018, 06:49 PM   #5682
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Look like u got some stiff competition at aphelion tho fam:
Quote:
The Eye in The Sky

by Jake Cosmos Aller

The eye in the sky
Knows all, sees all
Hears all, understands all
The eye in the sky
Watches over us
Everything we do
Is monitored, controlled
Under surveillance
There is no privacy
There is no private space
The eye in the sky
Knows all
Everything we do
Everything we see
Everything we think
Recorded by the unseeing
Uncaring eyes
The cameras, the videos
The computers that control
Our lives

Ever watchful
Ever diligent
Nothing escapes
The cold, calculating glares
Freedom is nothing
But an illusion
To the free man
There is no freedom
Except in one’s inner mind
Only there can one escape
The eyes in the sky
No one monitors our thoughts
Except our own thought police
The rest of the world
Is controlled, monitored
Under constant surveillance
The eyes in the sky
The camera in the sky
Watches over us
All the time
All the time
24/7
Never stopping
Never on strike
Never on break
All day long
All night long
24/7
Total control
The eye in the sky
Is the same
As the eye
In the dollar bill
All the same
All the same
Watching us
No one can escape
Its baleful glances
No one is free
Aye the eye
In the sky
Is always upon you
As you become
A mere number
In the cosmic game
Of life
Up behind
The eye in the sky
Big Brother is watching
You and me
And big sister too
And crazy Uncle Tom
And wild auntie Em
God, and the Devil
Rama, Ganesh, Laxmi
The Buddha bar gang
Jesus is there as well
Mary as well
And you must be knowing this
That even Saint Nick,
Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny
And Father Time himself
Are there Zeus and the Jupiter gang
And all the demons and spirits
And the big spirit
And Brahma, Gabriel, Allah
And the CIA, Mafia, KGB
And spies and counter spies All are Watching us
The tooth fairy is there too
She gets her 10 percent
All the same
Watching us
Forever and ever
But the eye
In the sky
Does not care
Does not notice
What we think or feel
The eye
Watches us
All the time
Recording our movements
And reporting it to its masters
Its job is to watch
Us
You and me
And the billions of others
On this asylum called Earth
The question came to mind
That has no answer
Who is the eye in the sky?
Is it God?
Is it the devil?
Only time will tell
The difference
The eye in the sky
Smiles at us
And watches and watches
And watches
All the time
© 2017 Jake Cosmos Aller
John (“Jake”) Cosmos Aller is a novelist, poet, and former Foreign Service officer having served 27 years with the U.S. State Department in ten countries - Antigua, Barbados, *******a, Grenada, Korea, India, St Kitts, St Lucia, St Vincent, Spain, and Thailand, and traveled to 45 countries during his career. Jake has been an aspiring novelist for several years and has completed four novels, ("Giant Nazi Spiders", “The Great Divorce”, “Jurassic Cruise", and “Ft. Ashland”), and is pursuing publication. He has been writing poetry and fiction all his life and has published his poetry fiction in over 25 literary journals. Jake grew up in Berkeley, California

 
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Old 01-31-2018, 06:50 PM   #5683
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I wonder if Jake Cosmos Aller knows David Avocado Wolfe

 
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Old 01-31-2018, 06:55 PM   #5684
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FoolofaTook View Post
Hello, Thanks for your submission! This story is a lot of fun and I’m looking forward to putting it in our February issue! However, if you could send me a short bio to put up with it I’d appreciate it. It doesn’t have to be too long, just 3 or 4 sentences, although it can be longer if you like, and I’d need it preferably by this Friday.


FUCK YES
congrats

"Jonny S. is a lifelong servant of Beezelbub, and dedicates all of his writings to the God of the Earth. He was born in [wherever] and has traveled to [however many] countries in order to spread the prophecy of Beezelbub through his prose. He also enjoys carbohydrates and is a champion shoe thrower."

 
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Old 01-31-2018, 06:55 PM   #5685
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Run To Me View Post
I wonder if Jake Cosmos Aller knows David Avocado Wolfe
or Jeff Purple

 
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Old 01-31-2018, 06:56 PM   #5686
reprise85
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Quote:
John (“Jake”) Cosmos Aller is a novelist, poet, and former Foreign Service officer having served 27 years with the U.S. State Department in ten countries - Antigua, Barbados, *******a, Grenada, Korea, India, St Kitts, St Lucia, St Vincent, Spain, and Thailand, and traveled to 45 countries during his career. Jake has been an aspiring novelist for several years and has completed four novels, ("Giant Nazi Spiders", “The Great Divorce”, “Jurassic Cruise", and “Ft. Ashland”), and is pursuing publication. He has been writing poetry and fiction all his life and has published his poetry fiction in over 25 literary journals. Jake grew up in Berkeley, California
lol@ jurassic cruise and giant nazi spiders

 
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Old 01-31-2018, 07:02 PM   #5687
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Old 01-31-2018, 07:03 PM   #5688
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Old 01-31-2018, 07:03 PM   #5689
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Old 01-31-2018, 07:38 PM   #5690
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Giant Nazi Spiders was a real page-turner.

 
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Old 02-01-2018, 05:07 PM   #5691
FlamingGlobes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by myosis View Post
really no privacy in that shower:
I'm straining but I can't see your girlfriend.

 
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Old 02-01-2018, 05:08 PM   #5692
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buzzard View Post
Giant Nazi Spiders was a real page-turner.
I did nazi that ending coming.

 
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Old 02-01-2018, 05:13 PM   #5693
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This is the first step on the path to the stars.

Your just jealous.

 
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Old 02-01-2018, 05:19 PM   #5694
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reprise85 View Post
congrats

"Jonny S. is a lifelong servant of Beezelbub, and dedicates all of his writings to the God of the Earth. He was born in [wherever] and has traveled to [however many] countries in order to spread the prophecy of Beezelbub through his prose. He also enjoys carbohydrates and is a champion shoe thrower."
No mention of hirsute glory?

 
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Old 02-02-2018, 08:43 PM   #5695
teh b0lly!!1
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in Bangkok, with the Shanghai blues.

lol a pumpkins reference! who would've thought.

 
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Old 02-02-2018, 09:11 PM   #5696
teh b0lly!!1
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seriously though. in Bangkok now. apologies for not making a post from the airport.
i had an especially hellish flight day. i'm almost kinda used to horrifying flight experiences, considering the distance between SH and IL (about 14 hours net flying time). so a flight to Thailand was supposed to be a piece of cake, but so many annoying little things happened, that the compounding effect nearly drove me mad by the end of the journey.

firstly, i got sick like 4 days before my flight. the whole shabang - sore throat, stuffy face, congestion, fatigue, etc. which means it escalated and was slightly after its peak when i had to take the flight.

then, i had to fly out to Hong Kong, have a four hour layover there, and proceed to Bangkok. the assholes there confiscated my nail scissors and nail filer (which i make extensive use of, considering i have an acoustic guitar player's right hand). also, coincidentally, those two things were probably the last thing in my possession that belonged to my ex.

i wanted to buy a fucken croissant (crissant? cruasson? carousel? i just pointed and mumbled) at the HK airport but those MOTHER FUCKING CUNTS don't let you buy anything there with chinese money unless YOU PAY WITH A FUCKING 100 BILL. and then they give you back the change in HK currency which is about as useful to me as a handful of used tissues (which the side pocket of my backpack was stuffed with anyway, considering my situation). and a croissant is like fucking 15 rmb anyway.

so i was just sitting there all miserable and saddo at the airport, hungry and cold and sick for like 3 hours. then on the flight to Bangkok OF COURSE i had to be seated next to this little shitstain kid, around the age of four or five if i had to guesstimate, who played Angry Birds on the fucken Personal Entertainment Unit (TM) screen and flung his arms and feet in excitement every time he took a swing. to be perfectly honest he was kind of adorable but it was really grating being hit by an arm or a foot literally 3 times per every 60 seconds, so by the end of the flight i was ready to gouge his eyes out and feed them to ravens as exotic snacks. but to be fair, due to my congestion, i also had REAL intense, all-consuming ear aches during the landing, so that might have contributed to my murderous urges. but only slightly.

THEN, when i landed in Bangkok i was all like "ahhh, finally". it was 3 am, so i figured it'd be smooth sailing. right?



so i roll up to the immigration area, only to see it's fucken SWARMING with people, hundreds and hundreds of people. after all this fucken day i had to wait over an hour just to get my passport stamped and get the fuck on with it. at FOUR IN THE FUCKEN MORNING.

i'm being humorous about it now, but at the time i was honestly so gigantically pissed off and tired, i didn't even know how to deal. i was really uncharacteristically rude, i was just furious and regretted even coming to Thailand and honestly feeling like i'll never be able to snap out of this all consuming rage. literally wondered if i'll ever be able to calm down, lol.

now i'm pretty calm though. leaving this shitty hotel near the airport today, and going inwards towards the city center for a few days. hope it's more chill there.

i'd never been to Thailand before, and it's kind of amazing seeing this brand new branch of Asian culture that is so markedly different to the ones i already know. i'm still shaking off my cold, still very congested and can't really smell shit, but when i do i'm destroying a bunch of awesome Thai food.

 
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Old 02-03-2018, 12:22 AM   #5697
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have manners and wear a mask!

hope you have fun!!

 
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Old 02-03-2018, 12:40 AM   #5698
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I like ilikeplanets

 
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Old 02-03-2018, 12:43 AM   #5699
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ilikeilikeplanets

 
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Old 02-03-2018, 01:42 AM   #5700
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
seriously though. in Bangkok now. apologies for not making a post from the airport.
i had an especially hellish flight day. i'm almost kinda used to horrifying flight experiences, considering the distance between SH and IL (about 14 hours net flying time). so a flight to Thailand was supposed to be a piece of cake, but so many annoying little things happened, that the compounding effect nearly drove me mad by the end of the journey.

firstly, i got sick like 4 days before my flight. the whole shabang - sore throat, stuffy face, congestion, fatigue, etc. which means it escalated and was slightly after its peak when i had to take the flight.

then, i had to fly out to Hong Kong, have a four hour layover there, and proceed to Bangkok. the assholes there confiscated my nail scissors and nail filer (which i make extensive use of, considering i have an acoustic guitar player's right hand). also, coincidentally, those two things were probably the last thing in my possession that belonged to my ex.

i wanted to buy a fucken croissant (crissant? cruasson? carousel? i just pointed and mumbled) at the HK airport but those MOTHER FUCKING CUNTS don't let you buy anything there with chinese money unless YOU PAY WITH A FUCKING 100 BILL. and then they give you back the change in HK currency which is about as useful to me as a handful of used tissues (which the side pocket of my backpack was stuffed with anyway, considering my situation). and a croissant is like fucking 15 rmb anyway.

so i was just sitting there all miserable and saddo at the airport, hungry and cold and sick for like 3 hours. then on the flight to Bangkok OF COURSE i had to be seated next to this little shitstain kid, around the age of four or five if i had to guesstimate, who played Angry Birds on the fucken Personal Entertainment Unit (TM) screen and flung his arms and feet in excitement every time he took a swing. to be perfectly honest he was kind of adorable but it was really grating being hit by an arm or a foot literally 3 times per every 60 seconds, so by the end of the flight i was ready to gouge his eyes out and feed them to ravens as exotic snacks. but to be fair, due to my congestion, i also had REAL intense, all-consuming ear aches during the landing, so that might have contributed to my murderous urges. but only slightly.

THEN, when i landed in Bangkok i was all like "ahhh, finally". it was 3 am, so i figured it'd be smooth sailing. right?



so i roll up to the immigration area, only to see it's fucken SWARMING with people, hundreds and hundreds of people. after all this fucken day i had to wait over an hour just to get my passport stamped and get the fuck on with it. at FOUR IN THE FUCKEN MORNING.

i'm being humorous about it now, but at the time i was honestly so gigantically pissed off and tired, i didn't even know how to deal. i was really uncharacteristically rude, i was just furious and regretted even coming to Thailand and honestly feeling like i'll never be able to snap out of this all consuming rage. literally wondered if i'll ever be able to calm down, lol.

now i'm pretty calm though. leaving this shitty hotel near the airport today, and going inwards towards the city center for a few days. hope it's more chill there.

i'd never been to Thailand before, and it's kind of amazing seeing this brand new branch of Asian culture that is so markedly different to the ones i already know. i'm still shaking off my cold, still very congested and can't really smell shit, but when i do i'm destroying a bunch of awesome Thai food.
have a rad time my dude. don't go to a ping pong show and please eat some tom yum for me

 
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