Netphoria Message Board


Go Back   Netphoria Message Board > Archives > General Chat Archive
Register Netphoria's Amazon.com Link Members List Photo Album Mark Forums Read

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-18-2003, 04:39 PM   #1
ernstdaydreamer
Demi-God
 
ernstdaydreamer's Avatar
 
Posts: 252
Exclamation !!!!!!!!SP movie script!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.countingdown.com/movies/3560174

 
ernstdaydreamer is offline
Old 06-18-2003, 04:50 PM   #2
Ugly
Immortal
 
Ugly's Avatar
 
Location: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed
Posts: 21,257
Thumbs up

You should have a Zombie Jonathan Melvoin crash the concert then Jimmy whips out a shotgun from inside his kicker and says “YOU GUYS GET OUTSIDE, I’LL HOLD THIS FUCKER OFF!!” and which point he starts pumping Zombie Melvoin with lead yelling “I KILLED YOU BEFORE AND THIS TIME YOU’RE GOING TO STAY THAT WAY YOU UNDEAD SON OF A BITCH!!” Then Billy turns into a vampire and flies off into the night.

 
Ugly is offline
Old 06-18-2003, 05:07 PM   #3
Injektilo
twenty some years....
 
Injektilo's Avatar
 
Location: the isle of the cheetah
Posts: 5,066
Talking

Quote:
Originally posted by Ugly
You should have a Zombie Jonathan Melvoin crash the concert then Jimmy whips out a shotgun from inside his kicker and says “YOU GUYS GET OUTSIDE, I’LL HOLD THIS FUCKER OFF!!” and which point he starts pumping Zombie Melvoin with lead yelling “I KILLED YOU BEFORE AND THIS TIME YOU’RE GOING TO STAY THAT WAY YOU UNDEAD SON OF A BITCH!!” Then Billy turns into a vampire and flies off into the night.
fuck yes.

and james pees himself.

 
Injektilo is offline
Old 06-18-2003, 05:18 PM   #4
Nimrod's Son
Master of Karate and Friendship
 
Nimrod's Son's Avatar
 
Location: in your butt
Posts: 72,959
Default

Actually I think your script would work, but it would be better is Billy plays a killer robot driving instructor who travels back in time for some reason whose best friend is a talking pie.

 
Nimrod's Son is offline
Old 06-18-2003, 10:49 PM   #5
Ugly
Immortal
 
Ugly's Avatar
 
Location: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed
Posts: 21,257
Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally posted by Nimrod's Son
Actually I think your script would work, but it would be better is Billy plays a killer robot driving instructor who travels back in time for some reason whose best friend is a talking pie.
Nimrod's Son, you've done it again!

*hands you two sacks of money with dollar signs on them*

 
Ugly is offline
Old 06-18-2003, 10:53 PM   #6
Ugly
Immortal
 
Ugly's Avatar
 
Location: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed
Posts: 21,257
Lightbulb

Quote:
Originally posted by Injektilo


fuck yes.

and james pees himself.
This movie needs more gratuitus nudity in it too. How about a Joe Shanahan shower scene, ala Porky's? And then Zombie Melvoin shows up and eats him. Then Jimmy walks in with a double barrel-shotgun.

How about just an entire movie with scenes from SP history, but it keeps being crashed by Zombie Melvoin and its up to Jimmy who shows up with a loaded shotgun every freakin time. Kind of like "Evil Dead" or "Army of Darkness".

 
Ugly is offline
Old 06-18-2003, 10:56 PM   #7
bonsor
Minion of Satan
 
bonsor's Avatar
 
Location: midwest
Posts: 8,776
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by Nimrod's Son
Actually I think your script would work, but it would be better is Billy plays a killer robot driving instructor who travels back in time for some reason whose best friend is a talking pie.
There also has to be a scene wheretere's a final chase scene in the end involving Billy's good side and his evil side, where one is on a motorcycle and the other is on a horse. It's motorcycles versus horses. It's like....technology....versus horses!

 
bonsor is offline
Old 06-18-2003, 11:13 PM   #8
Injektilo
twenty some years....
 
Injektilo's Avatar
 
Location: the isle of the cheetah
Posts: 5,066
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by Ugly


This movie needs more gratuitus nudity in it too. How about a Joe Shanahan shower scene, ala Porky's? And then Zombie Melvoin shows up and eats him. Then Jimmy walks in with a double barrel-shotgun.

How about just an entire movie with scenes from SP history, but it keeps being crashed by Zombie Melvoin and its up to Jimmy who shows up with a loaded shotgun every freakin time. Kind of like "Evil Dead" or "Army of Darkness".
ok, so who has sex with the pie then? Kenny maybe? or Flood?

 
Injektilo is offline
Old 06-18-2003, 11:30 PM   #9
Ugly
Immortal
 
Ugly's Avatar
 
Location: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed
Posts: 21,257
Question

Quote:
Originally posted by Injektilo


ok, so who has sex with the pie then? Kenny maybe? or Flood?

how bout all three?

Then they have to choose between who lives . . . and who dies . . .

 
Ugly is offline
Old 06-18-2003, 11:57 PM   #10
Injektilo
twenty some years....
 
Injektilo's Avatar
 
Location: the isle of the cheetah
Posts: 5,066
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by Ugly



how bout all three?

Then they have to choose between who lives . . . and who dies . . .
with the aid of a wisecracking alien who speaks in slang from the late 80s/early 90s.

 
Injektilo is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 12:15 AM   #11
Corganist
Minion of Satan
 
Corganist's Avatar
 
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 7,240
Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally posted by Ugly


How about just an entire movie with scenes from SP history, but it keeps being crashed by Zombie Melvoin and its up to Jimmy who shows up with a loaded shotgun every freakin time. Kind of like "Evil Dead" or "Army of Darkness".
If you could get Bruce Campbell to play the role of Jimmy, then this thing has money written all over it.

 
Corganist is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 06:02 AM   #12
Boycott Graceland
Socialphobic
 
Boycott Graceland's Avatar
 
Location: leprechaun julius
Posts: 10,326
Talking

SUBPLOT:

darcy has 24 hours to convince a terrorist to land a hijacked airplane, only to fall in love with him in the process.

(hijacker to be portrayed by bob english)

 
Boycott Graceland is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 07:32 AM   #13
cap'n jazz
Socialphobic
 
cap'n jazz's Avatar
 
Location: FUCKING HELL
Posts: 11,689
Arrow

rats in cages

 
cap'n jazz is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 12:02 PM   #14
Ugly
Immortal
 
Ugly's Avatar
 
Location: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed
Posts: 21,257
Arrow whoa. long.

Ok, so right now, here’s how the movie goes:
-----------------------


- The film opens up with a bunch of kids trying to get to an SP concert. It’s a life affirming story and a Christina Aguleria cover of “Silverfuck” plays over the opening credits.

- Unknown to our heroes, Billy Corgan’s Evil Side, which is personified by the killer robot driving instructor from the future (and his talking pie sidekick, voiced by Bob English) have traveled back in time to kill James Iha.

- Evil Robot Billy Corgan (aka CORGANBOT-1000) and the talking pie visit the grave of Johanthan Melvoin and resurrect him as a Zombie. You need henchmen and all, you know.

- At this point, CORGANBOT-1000, Zombie Melvoin and talking pie wait at the concert to complete their mission. Kenny Arnof, having never experienced a woman before, hears from his friends that it’s “like warm apple pie.” He immediately steals the pie and has sex with it, underneath its muffled protests of “I’m pastry, not poontang!”

- At the concert, the kids show up and then are promptly eaten by Zombie Melvoin. CORGANBOT-1000 just rolls his eyes and says “Here we go again.” Talking pie is subsequently raped by Flood who heard from Kenny that talking pie is a great piece of ass.

- CORGANBOT-1000, talking pie and Zombie Melvoin bust into the show to kill James Iha. Jimmy, played by Bruce Campbell in total “Army of Darkness” outfit with the chainsaw arm and everything, goes mono-a-mono with Zombie Melvoin. Good Billy turns into a vampire and flies away. James pees his pants and stands there whimpering. D’Arcy kidnaps and rapes the talking pie and gets on an airplane.

- As CORGANBOT-1000 puts a laser sight to James’ forehead, the cry of “Back dat up, yo, this is deff!” is heard and a wisecracking alien grabs James and throws him in the back of their Alien Pimp mobile. CORGANBOT-1000, using his driving instructor skills from the future, swiftly yet safely goes in pursuit.

- The wisecracking alien explains that he has traveled to the Earth to stop the death of James Iha. Iha is actually the mother of John Connor, the savior of the future in the war against the machines. The alien picks up a phone saying “We need an exit!” and is told by the operator to get on the freeway. James protests, “You said we should never drive on the freeway, you said it would be suicide.” Wisecracking alien replies coolly, “Let us hope, then, that I was wrong.”

- To save money on the car chase, use a TMD-Movies rip of “The Matrix Reloaded” and blue screen in James running in front of the chase scene like the “going for a drive” bits on Conan.

- Jimmy, having battled Zombie Melvoin for 48 hours straight and leaving half the population of Chicago dead as a result, decides not to fuck around anymore and builds a personal nuclear warhead.

- D’Arcy, on an airplane to Mexico, lets the pie out. The pie hijacks the plane. D’Arcy calls up the pie on her cel-phone. “Ever play roulette?” she asks. “On occasion.” The pie replies. D'Arcy snarls: “ALWAYS BET ON CRACK!”

- CORGANBOT-1000 and Good Billy of the NorthWest have a chase on car vs. horse. James has sex with the wisecracking alien. The alien is run over by the horse and dies. James crushes CORGANBOT-1000 in a hydraulic press.

- James, now pregnant with John Connor, goes to Mexico with Good Billy. D’Arcy successfully lands the plane, now married to Talking Pie. The three Pumpkins look at each other oddly. “Hey,” Good Bily asks “where’s Jimmy?”

- At which point a massive nuclear explosion detonates on the horizon. The Russians fire back with their nuclear warhead. Judgement Day has begun. To celebrate the oncoming war against cold unforgiving steel, the Pumpkins take turns gang-raping the talking pie.

- In the ruins of North America, a super-irradiated Mutant Zombie Melvoin uses the remains of CORGANBOT-1000 to build a robot army that will take over the world. His only threat: Jimmy Chamberlin, the Omega Man and the last best hope for the human race.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

 
Ugly is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 12:18 PM   #15
cap'n jazz
Socialphobic
 
cap'n jazz's Avatar
 
Location: FUCKING HELL
Posts: 11,689
Angry

i see no rats in cages.

 
cap'n jazz is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 12:36 PM   #16
Nimrod's Son
Master of Karate and Friendship
 
Nimrod's Son's Avatar
 
Location: in your butt
Posts: 72,959
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by ******
There also has to be a scene wheretere's a final chase scene in the end involving Billy's good side and his evil side, where one is on a motorcycle and the other is on a horse. It's motorcycles versus horses. It's like....technology....versus horses!
Yes! And at the end, James is faced with a heartwrenching decision involving the two Billys" he must decide which one lives, and which one.... *sniff* .....dies.

 
Nimrod's Son is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 12:40 PM   #17
Ugly
Immortal
 
Ugly's Avatar
 
Location: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed
Posts: 21,257
Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally posted by cap'n jazz
i see no rats in cages.
Are you kidding me? This screams SEQUEL or even TRILOGY. They’ll be plenty of time to work in rats in cages, or even super-gamma-irradiated rats in cages, let me tell you!

 
Ugly is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 05:42 PM   #18
bonsor
Minion of Satan
 
bonsor's Avatar
 
Location: midwest
Posts: 8,776
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by Nimrod's Son
Yes! And at the end, James is faced with a heartwrenching decision involving the two Billys" he must decide which one lives, and which one.... *sniff* .....dies.
i was waiting for someone to get that.

 
bonsor is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 06:12 PM   #19
Kumar Littlejeans
Demi-God
 
Kumar Littlejeans's Avatar
 
Posts: 351
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by Ugly
You should have a Zombie Jonathan Melvoin crash the concert then Jimmy whips out a shotgun from inside his kicker and says “YOU GUYS GET OUTSIDE, I’LL HOLD THIS FUCKER OFF!!” and which point he starts pumping Zombie Melvoin with lead yelling “I KILLED YOU BEFORE AND THIS TIME YOU’RE GOING TO STAY THAT WAY YOU UNDEAD SON OF A BITCH!!”
I'm crying. Or I would be, if I did that. Of joy, I mean.

 
Kumar Littlejeans is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 06:13 PM   #20
Kumar Littlejeans
Demi-God
 
Kumar Littlejeans's Avatar
 
Posts: 351
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by ******
i was waiting for someone to get that.
Thanks for coming up with that tonight, ******.

*awkward silence*

 
Kumar Littlejeans is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 06:38 PM   #21
Boycott Graceland
Socialphobic
 
Boycott Graceland's Avatar
 
Location: leprechaun julius
Posts: 10,326
Lightbulb

Quote:
Originally posted by Ugly


Are you kidding me? This screams SEQUEL or even TRILOGY. They’ll be plenty of time to work in rats in cages, or even super-gamma-irradiated rats in cages, let me tell you!
episode 3 needs to have billy's dad sacrificing himself for his son's life...of course, after they rock together, one last time.


Episode 3: THE ROCKONING

 
Boycott Graceland is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 07:36 PM   #22
alisonmonster
Minion of Satan
 
alisonmonster's Avatar
 
Location: gasoline alley
Posts: 9,019
Default

Oh MY GOD! I would pay to see this.What a great movie.Can there be a Iha cover of XYU? That would be priceless

 
alisonmonster is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 07:39 PM   #23
ernstdaydreamer
Demi-God
 
ernstdaydreamer's Avatar
 
Posts: 252
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by alisonmonster
Oh MY GOD! I would pay to see this.What a great movie.Can there be a Iha cover of XYU? That would be priceless
Which script are you talking about?

 
ernstdaydreamer is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 08:16 PM   #24
Injektilo
twenty some years....
 
Injektilo's Avatar
 
Location: the isle of the cheetah
Posts: 5,066
Thumbs up Re: whoa. long.

Quote:
Originally posted by Ugly
Ok, so right now, here’s how the movie goes:
holy shit, i don't think i've ever laughed so hard at something on the SP board.

 
Injektilo is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 08:21 PM   #25
Mariner
OB-GYN Kenobi
 
Location: the sea
Posts: 17,020
Default Re: Re: whoa. long.

Quote:
Originally posted by Injektilo


holy shit, i don't think i've ever laughed so hard at something on the SP board.
Ditto. Good work, kids.

 
Mariner is offline
Old 06-19-2003, 11:09 PM   #26
Esty
Netphorian of the Decade
 
Location: Waiting in line for his geranium kiss
Posts: 15,495
Talking

Jesus, that's some funny shit. Here I am thinking about how boring netphoria is and then I find this thread. Thanks!!!!

 
Esty is offline
Old 06-21-2003, 06:04 PM   #27
alisonmonster
Minion of Satan
 
alisonmonster's Avatar
 
Location: gasoline alley
Posts: 9,019
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by ernstdaydreamer


Which script are you talking about?

The Ugly one- that is so hilarious!

 
alisonmonster is offline
Old 06-22-2003, 09:26 AM   #28
ernstdaydreamer
Demi-God
 
ernstdaydreamer's Avatar
 
Posts: 252
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by alisonmonster



The Ugly one- that is so hilarious!
I think the movie would be a blockbuter!
We neen do send the script to warner bros. looney toons devision

 
ernstdaydreamer is offline
Old 06-22-2003, 01:49 PM   #29
The Pantsmaster
Heroic Fist-flinging Tornado
 
The Pantsmaster's Avatar
 
Location: queens
Posts: 738
Talking Re: whoa. long.

Quote:
Originally posted by Ugly
Ok, so right now, here’s how the movie goes:
wow. just wow.

 
The Pantsmaster is offline
Old 06-23-2003, 06:13 PM   #30
Ugly
Immortal
 
Ugly's Avatar
 
Location: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed
Posts: 21,257
Lightbulb ACT 4: The Echo Rings Forever On and So Forth. . .

Quote:
Originally posted by Boycott Graceland


episode 3 needs to have billy's dad sacrificing himself for his son's life...of course, after they rock together, one last time.
How's this for a climax?

-------------------

SC. 256- INT – METRO

Billy Corgan and Bill Corgan Sr. are locked in the Metro with an army of bloodthirsty Uruk-Hai. Things look bleak. As usual.

CORGAN SR.
Well, son, it looks as if the Uruk-Hai are going to be released, and soon Chicago will fall under the Shadow of Sauron. Let’s face it: we’re boned.

BILLY
There’s always hope, father!

CORGAN SR.
But it’s an army Uruk-Hai, the deadliest of enemies! What are we going to do?

BILLY
(Billy’s lip sets to a thin line of determination.)
The only thing we can do . . .
(A beat. He picks up a guitar.)
We rock.

With that, Billy launches into the opening riff of “Silverfuck.” The Uruk-Hai growl their approval.

CUT TO: An hour later. Billy is still playing the opening riff of “Silverfuck”. Some of the Uruk-Hai look at their watches, beginning to get annoyed.

CUT TO: Hour three. Billy has just launched into a rant about how much he hates it when his champagne goes flat. Corgan Sr. noodles incessantly between G minor and A Flat bare chords. Uruk-Hai, voicing their disapproval, begin to throw rotten tomatoes, eggs and small children.

CUT TO: Hour five. 50 minutes into Billy’s extended harmonic solo, one of the Uruk-Hai begins to weep, begging for it to stop. Soon all the Uruk-Hai are crying for deliverance: “Buddha! Zeus! God! One of you guys get off your ass and help us!!” The Corgan’s keep on rocking.

CUT TO: Hour twelve. Billy is naming things that rhyme with Corgan. His father strums on a C-chord repeatedly.


BILLY
Uh . . . Corgan. . . was told again . . . everything’s zen . . . like a hen . . .

CORGAN SR.
(howling)
BORN UNDER A BAD SIGN!!!

BILLY
uh . . . Ibuprofen . . . Dorigan . . .

URUK-HAI #1
(screaming in pain)
OH COME ON!!! “DORIGAN?!” ”DORIGAN?!!” THAT ISN’T EVEN A REAL WORD!! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

With that, the Uruk-Hai impales himself on his sword. Several others follow suit. Some try to rip off their own ears.

CUT TO: Hour seventeen. The last Uruk-Hai beats himself to death with a hammer. Billy is pouring sweat and causing his guitar to feedback so much it shatters glass. Corgan Sr. taps him on the shoulder. Billy notices the pile of dead bodies that litters the Metro and smiles. Corgan Sr. smiles back then falls to the stage. The rock was too much for him.


CORGAN SR.
(Dying)
Now. Go . . . my son. Leave me . . .

BILLY
(Choking back tears)
No! You’re coming with me! I’ll not leave you here. I’ve got to save you!

CORGAN SR.
(Still dying.)
You . . . already have, Luke.

BILLY
Billy.

CORGAN SR.
(Suddenly fine)
Oh, right.
(Dying again.)
You were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister you were right . . .

BILLY
Father! I won’t leave you . . . !

With a final shuddering breath, Bill Corgan Sr. dies. All is quiet.

SMASH! The door breaks down: in storms ZOMBIE MEVLOIN!


ZOMBIE MEVLOIN
Braiiinnnnnsssss……!!!

And BLAM! Zombie Mevloin’s head explodes. Out from the gloom holding a shotgun walks J.C. Battered, bloody, beaten but unbowed. He walks up to Billy. J.C. extends his hand to Billy.

J.C.
Partners?

BILLY
More than that. Lovers.

J.C.
Forever.

They shake on it. J.C. smiles.

J.C.
Let’s go kick some ass.

Both Billy and J.C. jump at the camera screaming.

FREZE FRAME.

ROLL CREDITS over FREEZE FRAME and music: “SIMPLE MINDS – (DON’T YOU) FORGET ABOUT ME”

FINAL TITLE CARD:

THE END ?

 
Ugly is offline
 


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is On
Google


Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:01 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Smashing Pumpkins, Alternative Music
& General Discussion Message Board and Forums
www.netphoria.org - Copyright © 1998-2014