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Old 01-26-2006, 01:25 PM   #1
Ugly
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Arrow A Transcript of Colin Farrell’s Sex Tape

taken from here: http://shrimpjaw.livejournal.com/ (note: no sex tape vid at link)

Nicole: (Giving him the camera) Here, you hold onto that. (She goes to television).
Colin: (Pointing camera at own penis) I am putting this...(camera pans to Nicole's crotch)...right in there. (To Nicole) Come here, come here, pretty.
N: Pretty!
C: God, you're...as I said the other night, man, if a fucking camera could blush it would be fucking red because you are so fucking pretty.
N: Really pretty! (unintelligible) Ok, now I'm putting on a video station. Ok.
C: What are you watching, man? Judge fucking...?
N: No! I'm trying to change the channel.
C: Puttin' on some porn for us?
N: (chipper) You want some porn?
C: (yelling) I FUCKING LIVE ON PORN! What are you talking about? You're so sexy, you are so fucking sexy. Where's the zoom on this fucking piece of shit?
You're fucking gorgeous (laughs). Baby, you're so fucking beautiful, man.
N: Yes, my love.
C: Aw, the battery's dead...so is my fucking cock.
N: (coming towards him) Shut up.
C: There it is.
N: No, it's not.
(The oral commences)
C: Oh my God. Where's your lube?
N: You want lube?
C: Nah, you got me cock in your mouth. My God.
(Nicole stops the oral, she has a pubic hair in her mouth)
C: Don't worry, we'll get rid of 'em.
N: Yeah, you see that there?
C: Yeah, okay, don't worry. We'll fucking lose them. (she continues) Whatever princess wants, princess fucking gets, let me tell you. Holy fuck, you're so fucking beautiful.
N: (halts again, more pubic hair troubles) Damn you!
C: You're just like...it's like you're going fishing for fucking pubes, man. You're just catching every fucking pube I have.
N: I don't want to go fishing.
C: By the end of this morning we won't need to shave me, there'll be none left...(she continues)...fuck...you are the sexiest motherfucker I have ever met...holy shit, I didn't know they made bastards as sexy as you, man. You are so fucking hot, baby...mmmmm.
(She halts yet again, same problem)
N: What the fuck? It's drenched in hair, baby.
C: There's so much fucking...(indecipherable Irishness)
(She continues)
C:...You're beautiful. Wait till you see yourself, how fucking sexy you are.
(Heavy breathing/moaning)
(Camera cut. Different angle, seconds later)
C: (finding her in camera's view) Where is she? Oh my God...hey baby.
N: Hi baby.
(She gives him yet more oral)
C: My God, you're so fucking beautiful, oh...my God.
(moaning/breathing)
(She pauses)
C: Let me get inside of you.
N: Okay.
C: Get over here on the couch.
N: You want me on the couch. (She goes to couch)
C: (indecipherable Irishness followed by his laughter) (Pans camera to own penis) This is for you, my baby.
N: I have to take it in me.
C: My princess.
N: Ah, God.
(Begin La Sex)
C: It's fucking in.
N: Yeah, baby.
C: Aw, fuck.
N: Oh, God.
(Moaning/Heavy breathing)
C: Look at how fucking beautiful...
(Moaning/Breathing gets substantially louder)
N: Oh God, oh my God...oh...God...baby...fuck, oh shit...oh shit, oh fuck, oh God, oh God, oh God.
(Moaning)
N: Oh, my God.
C: Oh, my God, you're so fucking beautiful. (They pause) (unintelligible)...me again, come here this way. (they change positions, go for gold)
N: Oh, my God.
(Moaning/Breathing)
C: Oh, baby.
(Moaning/Breathing)
C: This is some of the shabbiest fucking photography in the history of fucking porn, but you know what? I could give a fuck...oh, baby. (They stop, he gives camera to her) Take this fucking...
N: (finding Bullseye in frame) Mmmm, there he is. Oh, my God. (He goes down on her) Oh, my God. Here you are, oh, my God. Oh, my God. (moaning)
Oh, my God. You're gonna enjoy this. (He pauses)
C: I'm not enjoying this already, baby?
N: You're gonna enjoy...
C: Holy fuck, man. Breakfast, lunch, and fucking dinner, right here. I'm not even fucking joking.
(He continues)
N: Oh, my God.
C: Mmmmmm.
N: You need some angle shots right now...err...what do we gotta do? Oh, my God, you're gonna make me come. Can we film this? Okay, you know what? We should just set this thing down.
C: Give me the fucking thing for a second. (He takes the camera, places it on table). Come here. (He continues his breakfast, lunch, and dinner)
N: (unitelligible)...suck...(unintelligible)
(Moaning)
C: I just want to lick this dry.
N: Oh...my God, Colin....your little wicked tongue. (Laughter)
(He stops)
C: That's the prettiest fucking pussy I've ever seen in my life.
N: I hate it.
C: Aw, man, you can't fucking say that! (incredulous) You hate it? You can't fucking hate that, girl. She's so beautiful, man. She's fucking gorgeous.
N: She's so (unintelligible)
C: What would you do? What would you snip? What would you fucking implant? Shut the fuck up.
N: Nothing.
C: It's beautiful...she's beautiful.
N:...no...
C: She's a beautiful little flower.
N: Awwww. (He continues, she climaxes, they stop) You gotta brush your teeth.
C: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll do that shit.
N: But you're just gonna have cum-mouth.
(John Smith picks up camera, focuses on Nicole's white cat which is lounging on the floor next to porn magazines)
C: I'm telling you, your pussy is just so fucking beautiful. Look at her.
N: Let me see.
C: Look at her. Look at your pussy, man. (Her obligatory laughter, he pans over) Okay, what do we do with this thing? What do we do with this thing, princess?
N: What do you wanna do? You want to watch what we just did?
C: Sure, and we can do it again!
N: Yeah.
C: God, so much fucking fun...alright, stop the...(camera cuts off)
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Old 01-26-2006, 01:28 PM   #2
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i hate colin farrell. i don't understand why girls think he is so hot. also, he blamed this sex tape incident on being addicted to painkillers or some stupid shit like that. yesterday i took three percocets and i did not make a sex tape with a whore, thank you very much.

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 01:29 PM   #3
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This is hilarious.

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 01:31 PM   #4
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This is sad

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 01:32 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ugly
C: It's fucking in.

C: Holy fuck, man. Breakfast, lunch, and fucking dinner, right here. I'm not even fucking joking.
my god what overplayed crap. do people really talk that much? can you learn some more creative words at least?


quote one: when people say that it's just.. wtf? like.. duh, you think the other person didn't know? you need to state the damn obvious? just fuck.

quote two: holy hell what are you saying? she's full of cheese?

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 01:39 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ammy


quote two: holy hell what are you saying? she's full of cheese?
Holy shit...



This just made my day.

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 01:53 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ammy
quote two: holy hell what are you saying? she's full of cheese?
yeah. i thought that was a pretty grim thing to say, too!

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 02:03 PM   #8
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He's not hot. Every guy here looks like him and they're not the type of guys you wanna go near because they're SCUMBAGS who wear tracksuits and have no jobs

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 02:43 PM   #9
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Oh man I found this really entertaining but when she said "What the fuck? It's drenched in hair, baby." I just exploded in laughter.

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 02:45 PM   #10
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It's weird they way he switches from 1st person to 3rd.Strange boy. Did anyone ever see Ballykissangel? The show that 'broke' him into the..uh scene?He played a knacker (gypsy type)..basically played himself.

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 03:15 PM   #11
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I don't like Colin Farrell either and don't know why some women find him so special...and this script doesn't sound any sexy to me...Who is John Smith anyway?...

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 03:17 PM   #12
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He ain't special. As I said before most guys here look like him, ie crap. Maybe thats why american women love irish men...no taste? ..cept you obviously of course lol

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 03:17 PM   #13
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http://x1.putfile.com/10/27511363291.gif

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 03:18 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elvis The Fat Years
Is that Eva Longoria??????

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 03:22 PM   #15
Dead
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Holy shit that's cool.

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 03:32 PM   #16
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did anyone else see a home at the end of the world? god that movie is sooo awful. colin farrell is just so gross.

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 03:42 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elvis The Fat Years
http://www.underground-animations.co...20animated.gif

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 04:34 PM   #18
Ugly
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parody animated gif, I don't know who this Nicole chick is, but from the gif I'd assume she's a black chick. Good for Colin, mixin' it up a bit. Feel the love.



I love the Bullseye pic they used for him, that's genius.

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 04:37 PM   #19
ms. X
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laradelocke
He ain't special. As I said before most guys here look like him, ie crap. Maybe thats why american women love irish men...no taste? ..cept you obviously of course lol

Well, I just must say I am not from U.S. I live in Canada and I am originally from South America....But speaking of Irish men, I find Larry Mullen Jr. very attractive and he is like forty-five already. He seems very humble and is a great drummer too.



By the way, ugly, that gif animation is hilarious, great!!!!!

Last edited by ms. X : 01-26-2006 at 04:42 PM.

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 04:41 PM   #20
Dead
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ugly
parody animated gif, I don't know who this Nicole chick is, but from the gif I'd assume she's a black chick. Good for Colin, mixin' it up a bit. Feel the love.



I love the Bullseye pic they used for him, that's genius.
This is awesome.

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 04:45 PM   #21
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good to see Mcmurderson putting his talent to good use
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Old 01-26-2006, 04:45 PM   #22
mpp
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who is nicole?

sorry

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 05:01 PM   #23
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Nicole Richie perhaps?!!! No..thatd be weird.....

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 05:02 PM   #24
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Haha.

There should never, ever be a sex transcript. Humans say the fucking stupidest things when we're in the middle of copulating. It's amazing that most of the babies in this world are concieved during completely profane moments, "jesusfuckingchrist your pussy is fucking going to eat my cock ohmyfucking god"...

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 05:03 PM   #25
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I don't find porn amusing normally.

However, watching it on mute and making up dialogue is amusing.

But not as amusing as a transcript.

I'm so glad no one ever wrote down some of the garbage that has come out of my mouth...

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 05:18 PM   #26
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I have it on my computer...it's weird. He's annoying.

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 06:39 PM   #27
Ugly
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mpp
who is nicole?

sorry
No need to apologize, I have no idea either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by peabody
I have it on my computer...it's weird. He's annoying.
www.yousendit.com Just upload & walk away from the computer, it'll be up soon. Go, go, go.

Last edited by Ugly : 01-26-2006 at 06:39 PM. Reason: clarity

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 06:47 PM   #28
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i think he's awesome. and what's up with girls saying they h8 their puss. even the ones that like it say they don't like it. most of the stuff he said was a little lame, but he told her to shut the fuck up when she said that, that was pretty good

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 06:51 PM   #29
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THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!
 
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woah sweet .gif

 
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Old 01-26-2006, 06:55 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by peabody
I have it on my computer...it's weird. He's annoying.
i'd like to see it

 
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