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Old 04-12-2018, 07:26 PM   #31
Disco King
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I do have social anxiety, but I wouldn't say that I "don't value human connection." In fact, one who doesn't value human connection probably has little reason to feel anxious in social situations. What exactly would they be anxious about?

Part of my decision to get rid of Facebook was that it was a (minor) factor aggravating my negative feelings. You know, that upward social comparison where you log online and see everybody sharing positive shit about their lives that you'll probably never get to experience. And I know how distortions could occur because we're "comparing our back stage to their front stage," but even if I try to compare apples to apples and only think about the absolute best things I've got going on for me right now, my "front stage" is still lacking compared to everybody else's front stages. Not having to see that all the time made me feel better.

I also got rid of it during the time that I started making more of an effort to be social. To make friends, date, etc. I reasoned that everybody feels compelled to "research" everybody else online when they get to know them. Everybody creeps everybody else's Facebook. When I meet somebody and we want to keep in touch, the first thing they ask for is my Facebook still. And Facebook profiles have a way of telegraphing the social status of their users. The number of online "friends" they have, the number of photos they have, the proportion of those photos taken with other people in social situations rather than just being webcam of cellphone selfies, the evidence of having a fun life filled with activities, travel, fulfilling projects (being in a band, volunteering, whatever), etc.

Anyone who saw my Facebook profile would likely come to know that I don't have much going on. And that information would colour their perceptions of me. I wanted our interactions not to be informed by preconceived notions based on my online identity. I also knew that seeing their online presentations of themselves would make me feel insecure when I realized how much more interesting they are than I am. So, not having any social media to trade solves that problem. Our friendships can only be based on our interactions in person, and not biased by any external information.

When I first got rid of Facebook, I was expecting it to be temporary. After making friends and getting involved in more things, I'd have enough material to create a good impression of myself on an online profile. I'd have some photos hanging out with friends. I was even thinking of getting a few professional photos to mix in there (it would look too artificial if they were all professional photos).

But the longer I stayed off of Facebook, the more comfortable I got with that. At first, I found it harder to find out about events like shows and shit. I still do miss invites from friends who create Facebook events and forget to text me about them. But overall, I don't think I'm missing out on too much. I check the websites for pubs and shit to know if they are having any interesting upcoming shows. I check the websites for galleries to know if any exhibitions that might interest me are coming up. I get texts every now and then from friends inviting me to parties. Maybe not as much as I'd get if I were on Facebook, but enough that I don't feel like I never get invited to anything these days.

And then when scandals like the Cambridge-Analytica thing happen, and everybody who uses Facebook seems to use it only grudgingly, complaining about the platform and claiming to only use it out of necessity, I feel justified in my choice to have left it more than a year ago.

 
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Old 04-12-2018, 07:27 PM   #32
FlamingGlobes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TuralyonW3 View Post
controversial take:

people who don't use Facebook simply don't care about staying connection with friends and family around the world

they likely have social anxiety and don't value human connection
p much

 
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Old 04-12-2018, 07:34 PM   #33
FlamingGlobes
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I gave up Facebook because my family are assholes and were using my page to shit at each other.

That and all the Farmville spam and Obama Don't Care About Teh Troops posts were a bit too much to bear.

I disconnected in 2011. Haven't missed it in the slightest bit.

 
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Old 04-12-2018, 09:09 PM   #34
teh b0lly!!1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TuralyonW3 View Post
they likely have social anxiety and don't value human connection
that's a very big leap of logic there between the former and latter parts of the sentence.

 
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Old 04-12-2018, 09:34 PM   #35
fuzzyroes
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lol no kidding, I think the folks with social anxiety are the kind to overcompensate with a site like Facebook.

I very rarely go on, and I've been much happier since. When I was younger I was on it for hours every day, and it was never a positive experience. Sometimes you an kinda feel left out of news that people assume you would've read on facebook, and that's the main part that sucks, but it's not enough of a reason to justify using it.

 
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Old 04-12-2018, 09:41 PM   #36
reprise85
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I have it, I post about 1-3 times per month and comment on someone's stuff maybe once every week or two. But I don't read my feed constantly so if someone wants me to see something they have to send it to me directly. I'd say I spend 1, maybe 2 hours a week on facebook

 
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Old 04-21-2018, 08:03 AM   #37
mxzombie
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all my 40-year-old sister talks about is facebook. it's turned her into a person who is intolerable to be around. i haven't had a facebook account since about 2012, but her begging and shaming me for not being on facebook only solidifies my unwillingness to join again. i wish i'd never joined to begin with, but for a brief time it was actually useful for me.

 
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Old 04-21-2018, 08:06 AM   #38
mxzombie
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it would be really great if people stopped talking about social media all the time.

 
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Old 04-21-2018, 08:09 PM   #39
FoolofaTook
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i've deactivated my fb account 500 bazillion times. mostly due to shaming myself and social anxiety.

 
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Old 04-21-2018, 10:09 PM   #40
srt4b
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Don't use Facebook, voted for Trump.

 
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