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Old 04-11-2018, 07:10 PM   #1561
FlamingGlobes
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Originally Posted by FoolofaTook View Post
i only had a handful of friends in college myself, ram. five, to be exact
Way to brag, asshole!

 
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Old 04-11-2018, 07:54 PM   #1562
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yeah, those were the days huh

 
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Old 04-17-2018, 05:38 AM   #1563
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Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
out of circumstance or choice?
A little from column A and a little from column B.

 
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Old 04-17-2018, 08:44 AM   #1564
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I fell asleep on my couch last night watching vintage Alice in Chains live footage on YouTube.

This is the closest I believe I will ever get to passing out with a needle in my arm.

 
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Old 04-17-2018, 08:52 AM   #1565
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can we in.clude passing out paralyzed-by-food to the drunk/drugs category?

because I am really slaying it in that department.
this morning I found the remains of the muffin I had apparently not finished eating under my pillow, and a look in the bathroom mirror revealed the traces of chocolate chips in my eyebrows.

10 years ago I wondered if I'd eventually sign out by choking on vomit in my sleep, now I know I will sign out by choking on food.

 
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Old 04-17-2018, 09:33 AM   #1566
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Gagging on a muffin ain't nuffin; call me when you eat a bagel and sneeze cream cheese.

 
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Old 04-17-2018, 12:19 PM   #1567
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my family and i are having a little "cultural" get together in honor of my daughter, and my dad bought this craptastic looking bottle of wine. my mom said it's probably horrible and we shouldn't serve that to people. so, i nobly decided to screen it and wound up pouring the glass and the whole bottle down the sink. so bad. i'll buy something better today.

 
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Old 04-17-2018, 03:33 PM   #1568
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Originally Posted by ilikeplanets View Post
my family and i are having a little "cultural" get together in honor of my daughter, and my dad bought this craptastic looking bottle of wine. my mom said it's probably horrible and we shouldn't serve that to people. so, i nobly decided to screen it and wound up pouring the glass and the whole bottle down the sink. so bad. i'll buy something better today.
was it like a four dollar bottle of wine? was it a box of franzia?

 
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Old 04-17-2018, 05:38 PM   #1569
FlamingGlobes
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Shit, now what's the little one gonna drink?!

 
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Old 04-17-2018, 06:09 PM   #1570
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Originally Posted by redbreegull View Post
was it like a four dollar bottle of wine? was it a box of franzia?
it wasn't franzia, but he very pointedly didn't show me the receipt so i'm guessing it was probably no more than $4, yeah

i don't even remember the brand (it had the word "wine" in it), but i couldn't find any reviews of it online, which means not a lot of people are buying it.

 
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Old 04-17-2018, 06:10 PM   #1571
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Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes View Post
Shit, now what's the little one gonna drink?!
her god damn apple juice if she knows what's good for her!! it doesn't belong on the floor!!!

 
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Old 04-17-2018, 07:06 PM   #1572
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i was eating lunch with a girl at work and she was all like 'you have food on your forehead'. i felt a heatwave of embarrassment, but it went away when i said 'how did it get there? that's not even anywhere near my mouth.'

i have one beer in the fridge

 
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Old 04-17-2018, 09:40 PM   #1573
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Aldi has like $3 wine that's pretty good

 
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Old 04-17-2018, 09:42 PM   #1574
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Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor View Post
i was eating lunch with a girl at work and she was all like 'you have food on your forehead'. i felt a heatwave of embarrassment, but it went away when i said 'how did it get there? that's not even anywhere near my mouth.'

i have one beer in the fridge
I just would have obstinately denied that there was any food on my forehead and continued with the conversation.

Never lose your frame of the situation. Never show weakness.

 
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Old 04-17-2018, 09:50 PM   #1575
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ahh my bandmates are so fucking obnoxious

both guitarists act like they're on coke all the time and give me 9 minute john mayer live tracks to learn for a gig. "no no start the cymbal swell on this particular wanky riff 7:34 into it, not the one 8:00 into it"

just because i've played along to the 35 minute MCIS silverfuck a few times doesn't mean I'd force another person to learn it...goddammit the 'she was a fucking whore' buildup starts after the first grungy tom riff!

i wanna quit but they're great guitarists. hopefully we'll actually write stuff

 
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Old 04-17-2018, 09:51 PM   #1576
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor View Post
i was eating lunch with a girl at work and she was all like 'you have food on your forehead'. i felt a heatwave of embarrassment, but it went away when i said 'how did it get there? that's not even anywhere near my mouth.'

i have one beer in the fridge
h...how did it get there

this would only make sense with spaghetti

 
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Old 04-17-2018, 10:15 PM   #1577
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It's not that weird in certain gravitational environments. I mean, the lap is surely farther from the mouth than the forehead.

 
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Old 04-18-2018, 02:03 AM   #1578
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor View Post
i have one beer in the fridge
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ram27 View Post
h...how did it get there

this would only make sense with spaghetti
Quote:
Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor View Post
i have one spaghetti in the fridge
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Originally Posted by Ram27 View Post
makes sense
.

 
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Old 04-18-2018, 08:52 AM   #1579
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Old 04-18-2018, 04:41 PM   #1580
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food does not abide by the laws of physics. i speak from experience.

 
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Old 04-26-2018, 12:20 PM   #1581
teh b0lly!!1
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hi saddo thread

i'm sad and angry for no particular reason

 
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Old 04-26-2018, 01:20 PM   #1582
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Hi saddo b0lly,

Have a seat, tell us more.

 
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Old 04-26-2018, 08:28 PM   #1583
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I feel the same way. Well...actually I feel sad and angry because the first two hours of my life, every day, are spent cooking and cleaning for my ungrateful family.

It's depressing thinking about how productive I could be with that time - I'm actually pretty productive, I'm just producing nothing but hot food and clean dishes.

So fucking depressing. I come into this office afterwards with my coffee, to write, and then I just sit here and seethe and look at Facebook for two hours.

 
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Old 04-26-2018, 08:43 PM   #1584
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at least we aren't all subsistence farmers relying on working from sunup to sundown every day so we have some fucking wheat

 
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Old 04-26-2018, 08:45 PM   #1585
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You could always write a fantasy novel about inexplicably surviving a gas leak that frees you of this burdensome lifestyle.

A woman finds redemption in independence after her entire family's put on ice by a dodgy valve in the hot water cylinder. Can she forgive the engineer for his substandard cashie and, in the process, learn to love again?

 
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Old 04-26-2018, 09:17 PM   #1586
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i think that may be about ten times more creative than anything I've written in the last year

eeeeeuuuggghgh so much fuckin bullshit

 
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Old 04-26-2018, 09:19 PM   #1587
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reprise85 View Post
at least we aren't all subsistence farmers relying on working from sunup to sundown every day so we have some fucking wheat
I mean, this would almost be better, because at least we'd all be in the same situation, and we'd be lean and fit enough to enjoy fun pursuits when we weren't working, like capture the flag. All I can capture at the moment is oreos

But I get what you're saying. gratitude is good.

 
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Old 04-26-2018, 09:42 PM   #1588
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Originally Posted by vixnix View Post
I mean, this would almost be better, because at least we'd all be in the same situation, and we'd be lean and fit enough to enjoy fun pursuits when we weren't working, like capture the flag.
Speak for yourself and/or get a job.

 
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Old 04-26-2018, 09:59 PM   #1589
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I mean, I was speaking generally about our species. With the high rates of obesity and depression in the developed world, it kinda seems like many of us would actually be healthier and happier as subsistence farmers in the countryside than we are as modern day city dwellers.

Like, if you measured mood and physical health indicators etc.

 
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Old 04-26-2018, 10:21 PM   #1590
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vixnix View Post
I mean, this would almost be better, because at least we'd all be in the same situation, and we'd be lean and fit enough to enjoy fun pursuits when we weren't working, like capture the flag. All I can capture at the moment is oreos

But I get what you're saying. gratitude is good.
not sure where this free time would come from, especially with enough light to play capture the flag

Quote:
Originally Posted by vixnix View Post
I mean, I was speaking generally about our species. With the high rates of obesity and depression in the developed world, it kinda seems like many of us would actually be healthier and happier as subsistence farmers in the countryside than we are as modern day city dwellers.

Like, if you measured mood and physical health indicators etc.
this is true but we wouldn't have all the cultural productions that are important if you value certain things. you need to be able to not have to literally work for your own food. which are important to our happiness as well, but also our unhappiness so whatever

 
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