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Old 04-03-2018, 01:03 PM   #1
Run To Me
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Default I just ate a fatass salad from the salad bar

...and now I am covered in little brown dots of flung droplets of balsamic

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 01:04 PM   #2
Run To Me
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I can’t go back to work like this, everyone will KNOW

And I can’t go home sick b/c I’m out of leave

OMG WHAT DO I DO HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWLP MEEEEEEEEEEEWEEEEEEEE

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 01:26 PM   #3
cork_soaker
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embrace it

own it

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 01:27 PM   #4
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~no fear~

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 01:28 PM   #5
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not your fault if they can't deal with an eater of fatass salads from the salad bar

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 01:29 PM   #6
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and it's not like they aren't hiding in their own balsamic splatter shame

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 01:29 PM   #7
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you're providing liberation

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 01:33 PM   #8
Run To Me
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So you’re saying just walk in and say “that’s correct, these are brown dots, yes, they are all over me, yes I’m embarassed, my face is hot, my pits are moist, but I’m here, and my brown dots are here, and no I’m not going to tell you their origin or the reasoning behind their brownish hue, because you haven’t earned the right to my story, and I don’t feel comfortable sharing in this context or scenario, but if you want to call me after work, or invite me to your book club or to help clean your garage or whatever, maybe we could grow together as coequal human adults, with dignity, and become something more than coworkers, and maybe on Christmas Eve, while I’m helping hang your kids’ stockings with care, then I’ll tell you, then you’ll know the secret of the brown dots that covered me, that day, and maybe then the world will be a bit braver, a bit warmer”??

I don’t know if I can memorize all that, ok if I read it from a screen as I say it? Public speaking makes my pits wet, faucets of perspiration even now just imagining this.....

Ok, thanks I think it’s settled I’m just gonna have to look for another job

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 01:46 PM   #9
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now i want salad

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 01:59 PM   #10
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Yeah, I like the fatass kind

It’s like my scam at the salad bar, because the 1 trip is cheaper than all you can trip

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 02:38 PM   #11
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post pic with balsacic

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 03:55 PM   #12
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Next time just eat a fatass burger cause it's more socially acceptable.

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 06:54 PM   #13
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Or wear a bib.

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 07:27 PM   #14
teh b0lly!!1
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all this talk about ass salads and brown dot splatter may throw some ppl off

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 07:41 PM   #15
pinetree
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
all this talk about ass salads and brown dot splatter may throw some ppl off
I thought I was the only one with a raging hard on

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 09:17 PM   #16
Elphenor
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I actually love salad I might switch to an all bagged salad diet sounds easy

not getting enough nutrients from BREAD

 
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Old 04-03-2018, 09:19 PM   #17
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Eating bag of chips rn and microwaved corndogs

But TOMORROW

We start eating salads

 
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Old 04-04-2018, 06:05 AM   #18
yo soy el mejor
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point it out before anyone else can.

 
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Old 04-04-2018, 06:06 AM   #19
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"omg i splattered balsamic all over myself so spare me the jokes yvette from accounting"

 
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Old 04-04-2018, 08:22 AM   #20
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Start bringing different shirts to work.

 
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Old 04-04-2018, 02:12 PM   #21
Run To Me
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Thank you, all of these recommendations are most certainly suggestions, keep em coming. Still at the salad bar, very much hope to pick an appropriate course of action soon

 
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Old 04-04-2018, 02:46 PM   #22
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take it easy, eating too quickly is never healthy

 
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Old 04-04-2018, 03:55 PM   #23
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get a job at the salad bar

 
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Old 04-04-2018, 04:32 PM   #24
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put buffalo sauce on your salads. butter and hot sauce on salads is good for your digestive system.

 
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