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07-09-2007, 12:39 PM | #211 |
ghost
Location: @SactoMacto
Posts: 12,201
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transformers: D+
Garbage movie. Michael Bay is one of the worst directors of all time, with the story telling skills of a 12 year old. Anybody that truly likes this movie is way to easily amused. Once the novelty of the impressive special efx wore off I had trouble staying awake. I think actual episodes of the cartoon had a more coherent and believable storyline than this movie. |
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07-09-2007, 12:40 PM | #212 |
Demi-God
Posts: 290
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That SUCKS.. I wanted to see the movie.. maybe i should wait for DVD? I watched the cartoon when I was a little kid, so I kinda wanted to see what it was like. Weak plot line?
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07-09-2007, 12:46 PM | #213 | |
NO FATS
Location: NO FEMS
Posts: 29,003
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07-09-2007, 12:56 PM | #214 |
Minion of Satan
Location: fine. i must finally admit it: LA, CA
Posts: 8,579
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1408: B
The Bourne Identity: A+ The Bourne Supremacy: A- |
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07-09-2007, 12:58 PM | #215 |
ghost
Location: @SactoMacto
Posts: 12,201
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This review nails on the head the weaknesses of the movie:
http://fienprint.blogspot.com/2007/0...nsformers.html EXCERPTS: As dazzled as I often was by the visual effects in "Transformers," I never cared if the heroes succeeded (and, since they were only facing CGI blobs that never felt real for a second, I never felt that any of them were in danger). What's worse is that I never cared if the Decepticons were defeated. In order to root against a villain, at least so far as I understand it, the villain's opposition to good or moral action has to be clearly understood. If a villain is out to kill humanity, you have to both understand why the villain wants to do away with humanity and feel that the desire is based on an actual hatred. For my money, "Transformers" don't work in large part because the Decepticons don't really care about humans. They don't care about global destruction. They care about an inanimate cube. Humans are collateral damage, but they lack the requisite reason for destroying Earth and its inhabitants. They don't hate us, so we don't fear them. I know that they were going to bring all of our machines to life or enslave us, but the movie gives less than a minute's time to illustrating that potentiality. Oh no! Our Mountain Dew machines would come to life?!?!? That's the last straw. Damn those Decepticons. Damn Megatron! And damn... that other Decepticon. And the other one. And that little nasty one! If I hadn't played with Transformers a bit as a kid, I wouldn't have even remembered any of the names of the miscellaneous Decepticons, but even remembering their names is pointless, because few of them have any noticeable characteristics or individual personalities. The Autobots aren't much better, though it's made clearer which GMC automobiles they're affiliated with and they're given repeated names. When Optimus Prime introduces them, he also explains their individual roles within the Autobot army -- munitions, medic, etc -- and then none of them perform any of those specialized roles within the movie. That's annoying. Despite the Autobots each having jobs and voices, one of them died and I both didn't feel a thing at the time and then didn't remember his death when it was mentioned later. Again, zero impact. [...] Yes, the Transformers are a marvel to behold as realized by the various different effects houses. But when I played with Transformers, there was a connection between form and function -- different Autobots and Decepticons took different finite forms and the form they took impacted the powers they were able to utilize. In Michael Bay's "Transformers," the robots are much more malleable and the ones that don't transform into airplanes and helicopters seem perfectly capable of coming darned close to flying, etc. Also, with the original Transformers toys, it was always cool that that fighting robot fit perfectly into that sporty car, with no extra pieces and no additional size. In the movie, I didn't believe that Bumblebee had once been the size of a Camaro. He suddenly become vastly larger and more complicated when he went from car to fighting robot. That annoyed me. I was also irked by how shiny the Transformers were, even at night when there were no light sources to create that reflection. They also seemed a bit weightless, like I never got a sense of how loud they were or how strong. They were able to wander around chatting on Shia TheBeef's lawn and not only did it take a while before they messed with the grass, but at no point did Shia TheBeef's parents hear them. That also annoyed me. Perhaps the biggest way that the movie could have been fixed for me is if the humans had had any active agency in bringing about the climax of the plot. [I'm going into spoilers here for the last act, so stop reading please if you haven't seen the movie or figure to see it some day.] Our plucky and resourceful humans do, indeed, help bring about the end of the movie, but not through any learned behavior or particularly admirable skills or discoveries. At no point do the humans learn the weaknesses of the Decepticons, allowing them to take advantage of said weaknesses for victory. No, at some point Josh Duhamel's character hops on a motorcycle, rides under one and shoots it in the crotch and it goes down. Ummm... OK. I guess that's fine. It was dumb luck, but whatever. And Shia TheBeef brings about the final climax of the movie by jabbing the cube in Megatron's chest, an action that was never even suggested to him as a possibility (Optimus Prime volunteered his own sacrifice, but never explained anything about why it would work to the kid, much less that a similar course of action would work on a different Transformer... Again, dumb luck). And nearly 1/3rd of the movie's plot was built around Rachael Taylor and Anthony Anderson's techno-savvy characters, but descript their centrality to the narrative, they play no purpose in the plot. The characters meander around for a while, allow for exposition and then call in an air strike which, from what I recall, didn't lead to the demise of a single Decepticon. Then, in minimal aftermath to the excitement, those characters don't even appear. They just vanished. That's bad writing and a waste of time. Why couldn't those characters have been there for a reason? [Spoilers done.] |
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07-09-2007, 01:19 PM | #216 |
NO FATS
Location: NO FEMS
Posts: 29,003
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that fucking anthony anderson thing riled me to no end when i got to the end of the movie and....well you know.
Also, what's up with calling older black women bitches for laughs? Once in a movie...ok whatever but when almost the same exact not funny joke is done twice, and all it involves is yelling at an older black woman "yah old bitch!" or whatever the exact quote is, it's a bit weird. Especially when your target audience is so largely 12 year old boys. |
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07-09-2007, 01:41 PM | #217 |
let's see your penis!
Location: i had a few beers, but i'm cool to drive
Posts: 31,847
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Memento - A-
Back to the Future Part II - B- |
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07-09-2007, 02:29 PM | #218 |
mental problems angel
Location: i want u 2 caress me like a tropical priest
Posts: 20,592
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Salute of the Jugger - Better than I remembered. Post apocolyptic violent "sport" nonsense. Good fun. Ends a bit abruptly. I love movies like this, there's something cheesy about them, but they're just so easy to watch. A-
Deja Vu - I wasn't expecting much from this movie but it was pretty watchable as it turned out. At least they explained why it wasn't sattelites/heat signatures. That would have fucking bugged me as much as "computer, hypothesise what's on the other side" in enemy of the state. C+ Heavenly Creatures - Erm this was alright, a kooky weird movie that certainly has it's charms, but the folk over at Empire definitely built it up too much. C+ The Number 23 - I liked this, I didn't have any expectations for it and I didn't know too much about it. Thought Carrey was pretty good in it, liked the dreamy sequences. B+ |
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07-09-2007, 04:01 PM | #219 | |
Socialphobic
Location: intellectual hobo
Posts: 11,794
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memento rules.
Quote:
also maybe ill check out number 23, ive been kinda skeptical about it because it seemed like it might just be a huge waste of time. i liked eternal sunshine, maybe carey can win me over with this performance too. |
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07-09-2007, 04:20 PM | #220 |
Socialphobic
Location: I DO C-C-C-COCAINE
Posts: 11,137
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do check it out shapan, the movie has some weak points, but overall its quite fantastic.
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07-09-2007, 06:36 PM | #221 |
Minion of Satan
Location: i am a reptile
Posts: 7,231
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enemy mine - B
the last starfighter - C running scared - A |
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07-10-2007, 03:10 AM | #222 |
Unrequited.
Location: nashville, tn .
Posts: 156
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1408: d
transformers: b . m |
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07-10-2007, 03:12 AM | #223 |
Consume my pants.
Location: Missouri
Posts: 36,099
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Last edited by D. : 07-06-2009 at 08:52 PM. |
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07-10-2007, 03:17 AM | #224 | |
Socialphobic
Location: I DO C-C-C-COCAINE
Posts: 11,137
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07-10-2007, 03:26 AM | #225 |
huh
Posts: 62,456
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Thirteen - B
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07-10-2007, 05:33 PM | #226 |
Immortal
Location: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed
Posts: 21,248
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Past week-ish, in order of goodness:
Idiocracy>X-Men>Transformers>Rocky 3>>Live Free Or Die Hard>>>>>>>>>>>Bottoms Up (it had Jason Mewes in it, I watched it out of morbid curiosity) Half of The Matrix and Half of Rock 2 as well. |
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07-10-2007, 05:37 PM | #227 |
Minion of Satan
Posts: 7,631
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has anyone seen "day night day night"?
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07-10-2007, 07:09 PM | #228 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Location: London
Posts: 1,597
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The Parole Officer: i only saw it for the first time a few days ago (even though its gotta be about 5 years old now). Quality film, B+.
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07-11-2007, 03:06 AM | #229 |
mental problems angel
Location: i want u 2 caress me like a tropical priest
Posts: 20,592
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Dexter is seriously affecting my ability to watch movies right now, just finished ep 8 last night.
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07-11-2007, 07:51 AM | #230 |
Minion of Satan
Location: i am a reptile
Posts: 7,231
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dexter is so awesome... do you know when the second season starts?
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07-11-2007, 07:54 AM | #231 |
mental problems angel
Location: i want u 2 caress me like a tropical priest
Posts: 20,592
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I have no idea :/ it only just started in the uk on sunday night, first episode. Someone had already told me about it though so i just downloaded all the avis. It's really good.
I loved the nod to american psycho (when he got a hold of the sedative under the pseudonym Patrick Bateman) ... I can tell I'm going to wish there were some more episodes to watch soon! |
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07-21-2007, 01:47 PM | #232 |
mental problems angel
Location: i want u 2 caress me like a tropical priest
Posts: 20,592
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dexter apparently starts up again late september
i watched transformers last weekend, as mentioned in some other thread, i was drunk at the time. I also never really watched the cartoons often when i was younger, so I had little to no expectations for it. I thought it was brainless fun, had some funny bits in it as well. I just finished watching 1408. I was expecting to really like it.. erm.. It was pretty decent, but it didn't blow me away. At one point just after the hour mark my interest was really taking a dive, but it picked up a bit, albeit in a kinda predictable way. I wouldn't go out of my way to recommend it to folk. |
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07-21-2007, 01:52 PM | #233 |
mental problems angel
Location: i want u 2 caress me like a tropical priest
Posts: 20,592
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Oh yeah, i also watched that evan almighty last night, it's a very feel good family movie as it goes on, my nephews probably would have liked it. There were very few (if any) funny bits in it though, and I seem to remember bruce almighty had a good few laughs in it. Not really that watchable. The funniest bit was the credits. But it's hard not to smile when morgan freeman laughs.
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07-21-2007, 03:19 PM | #234 | |
die 'til it doesn't hurt
Posts: 7,475
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07-21-2007, 03:41 PM | #235 |
Immortal
Posts: 20,964
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Stranger Than Ficiton - B+. Definately the best Will Ferrell movie so far.
The Lives of Others - B. Pretty good, though in no way worth the Oscar. Die Hard - B. Always a good one. |
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07-21-2007, 09:15 PM | #236 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Location: Iceland
Posts: 4,667
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Transformers - D [LEFT CHEEK! LEFT CHEEK!)
Prisonder of Azkaban - B- Harold And Kumar Go to White Castle - A Bill Hicks Live - A+ |
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08-13-2007, 04:32 PM | #237 |
Socialphobic
Location: intellectual hobo
Posts: 11,794
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saw a bunch of movies on a plane to london and back
the usual suspects - B (i liked the ending but it was getting more and more obvious, i preferred spacey in seven even though he had much less air time) monsters inc - A- (pixar never lets me down) hot fuzz - A shrek 3 - B- (eh) blades of glory - B |
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08-13-2007, 04:37 PM | #238 |
Braindead
Posts: 15,482
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i <3 huckabees - B+ lily tomlin and dustin hoffman are fucking HI-larious together.
the dark crystal (for the first time since i was about 8) - A the simpsons movie - B the big lebowski (for the nth time) - A |
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08-13-2007, 05:02 PM | #239 |
Minion of Satan
Location: i'm a horrible human being
Posts: 9,141
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just rented the first Poltergeist film this past weekend. I forgot it was a pg movie; i watched this when it came out and it scared the shit out of me, especially the part where the tree grabs the little boy through his window. I was about the same age as the little girl in the movie, way too young to be watching that scary shit. Of course, a few years later I was subscribing to fangoria...
anyway, it was a little cheesy, but surprisingly still entertaining. Watched Zodiac after that, which was decent, but not as good as other david fincher movies. I'd give it a B. |
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08-13-2007, 05:06 PM | #240 |
Minion of Satan
Location: fine. i must finally admit it: LA, CA
Posts: 8,579
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Peter Pan (live action) - B
Hairspray (sing a long) - A- Bourne Ultimatum - A The Simpsons - B- |
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