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Old 12-23-2017, 11:55 PM   #601
teh b0lly!!1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redbreegull View Post
I really really feel this. I don't know necessarily that this helps at all, but for me something that has really helped over the last year or so is the serious recognition that this is not "normal," and although a lot of people experience swings in affect like this, it is ultimately the result of a brain illness. The sudden feelings of intense despair and almost manic negativity and emptiness have been one of the worst aspects of depression and anxiety for me, but I have been able to build better coping skills to a certain degree. Depression is obviously sometimes the result of a serotonin problem in your brain, but parts of your brain actually shrink when you experience depression for long periods of time. It's an illness just like having something wrong with your heart or your lungs or any other organ, and I think recognizing this and separating the depression from my identity has been really useful. I still have a long way to go, but even the small amount of progress I have made at reshaping the way I think and approach things and react to things would have seemed utterly impossible just a few years ago. I truly believed things could never actually get any better but that's not the case. Anyway rant over, I guess my point is I can really relate but I don't think you should give into hopelessness. The world sucks but I believe it is possible to achieve a higher degree of personal contentment, resiliency, and dare I say it even happiness
yeah man. i feel this - i just worded myself carefully because it's still shaky and elusive to me. sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, you know.

this reminds me of this time i watched a really enlightening video about mindfulness, and one of the things Jon Kabat Zinn says in it was that (i'm paraphrasing) after we fall into negative thought patterns and worry and drag our knuckles for many years, we essentially become "better at worrying". like an acquired skill, or a muscle. i thought that was a beautifully concise and effective way of putting it.

so like you say, a considerable source of (relative) tranquility for me, has been to recognize that i really am mentally unhealthy and that whenever i get these genuinely catastrophic thought loops, it's not something that defines me, but rather something that's obstructing me.

not that i currently share your ideas about achieving happiness or giving up hopelessness. i'm trying, but i'm still generally disheartened about life, and hold some ideas that others would consider nihilistic or unhealthy or "backwards", but that's okay because i realized a long time ago my aim in this life is not to play it safe and work the same 9 to 5 until i get thrown out when i'm old and ill. i'm just doing my best to be content in the very present, and perhaps the next couple of years. but i don't think it terms of "Life Trajectory" anymore like i used to. i don't have a "goal" to be wealthy by the time i'm 50, or to own a house or a swimming pool or a car. i'd kind of retired myself from civilized mankind in many ways, mentally, much like a homeless person does, or a vagabond.

when it comes to bettering yourself, most people mostly seem invested in accumulating "socially accepted proof" - degrees, workplaces, promotions, possessions, status. it's like they make sure each and every new step they make, is validated by the people around them. as for me, my natural inclination has always been to learn things for my betterment without necessarily having proof to show for it. like, will the fact i'm reading about astronomy and black holes make anyone i meet think more of me? very unlikely.

anyway the point to all this is that to a large extent, i live in my own head and judge myself by my own standards/definitions. so when i have an anxiety attack that's trying to stain my perspective about everything, it takes a struggle to not let it run too deep.

shit what a goddamn rant. i'd written up a few essay posts in the last few weeks and ended up not hitting submit, fuck this i'm pressing submit now see you in the next life brother

 
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Old 12-23-2017, 11:58 PM   #602
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Hi Mama,

I still haven't smoked though I had a couple of close calls this afternoon. That's the truth.

I've been going faithfully to NA three times a day, praising Jesus. That's a lie.

Your firstborn,
Jonny

 
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Old 12-24-2017, 12:02 AM   #603
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when it comes to bettering yourself, most people mostly seem invested in accumulating "socially accepted proof" - degrees, wor promotions, possessions, status. it's like they make sure each and every new step they make, is validated by the people around for me, my natural inclination has always been to learn things for my betterment without necessarily having proof to show for it will the fact i'm reading about astronomy and black holes make anyone i meet think more of me? very unlikely.

anyway the point to all this is that to a largeextent, i livein my own head and judge myself by my own standards/definitions. so have an anxiety attack that's trying to stain my perspective about everything, it takes a struggle to not let it run too deep.



To quote the words your father moaned last night, "Fuck yes!"

 
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Old 12-24-2017, 12:03 AM   #604
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And you should hit submit more often teh b0llz. you are thoughtful and insightful and totally unfuzzyish.

 
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Old 12-24-2017, 07:38 AM   #605
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Everyone should post more, let's go nuts and drive the lurkers crazeh

 
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Old 12-24-2017, 12:25 PM   #606
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Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post




because i realized a long time ago my aim in this life is not to play it safe and work the same 9 to 5 until i get thrown out when i'm old and ill. i'm just doing my best to be content in the very present, and perhaps the next couple of years. but i don't think it terms of "Life Trajectory" anymore like i used to. i don't have a "goal" to be wealthy by the time i'm 50, or to own a house or a swimming pool or a car. i'd kind of retired myself from civilized mankind in many ways, mentally, much like a homeless person does, or a vagabond.

when it comes to bettering yourself, most people mostly seem invested in accumulating "socially accepted proof" - degrees, workplaces, promotions, possessions, status. it's like they make sure each and every new step they make, is validated by the people around them. as for me, my natural inclination has always been to learn things for my betterment without necessarily having proof to show for it. like, will the fact i'm reading about astronomy and black holes make anyone i meet think more of me? very unlikely.

anyway the point to all this is that to a large extent, i live in my own head and judge myself by my own standards/definitions.
hey look, it's me!!

 
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Old 12-24-2017, 03:18 PM   #607
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I watched a video of someone who had bacterial meningitis and became a quad amputee yesterday.

Privilege checked, HARD.

 
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Old 12-24-2017, 04:23 PM   #608
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That's what they get for using their spa pool during a brownout.

 
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Old 12-24-2017, 10:32 PM   #609
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Old 12-24-2017, 10:35 PM   #610
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Sometimes, one image can change everything. Usually, a combination of timing and world events collide with a great photographer, an auteur of the single still image, shifting the way that we collectively view the world. For me, that change came somewhere around... oh, September of 2008. The photograph depicted Metallica frontman James Hetfield standing outside of what appeared to be an outlet mall, in plaid shorts and flip flops, holding an Armani shopping bag. He was accompanied by the bass player of Metallica (third: not Cliff, not Newsted) whose name, I have found, is Robert Trujillo, and two women.

The first time I saw this image, however, it had already been molested and modified, in the way that the internet gloriously does sometimes. A caption to the right of the main part of the photo, (sing to yourself, to the tune of "One") reads:

"Bargains / Imprisoning me / All that I see / Absolute savings / What a great deal / What a great find / Look at these jeans / Damn I look sexy as helllllllll."
ALL THAT I HEAR IS THE CAPTION TO THE PHOTO, NOT THE ACTUAL LYRICS
I don't remember where I first saw the image. In vain over the past few days I've searched my old emails, because I know that in the days that followed my initial find, I forwarded it onto at least two brothers and three friends. I'm tempted to say I first saw it on Facebook, but I can't be sure.


Fast forward to last weekend, when I heard the tail end — the most kick ass part — of "One" on the radio. It was then that I realized that the "Bargains" image has irreparably damaged my relationship with this song. All that I hear is the caption to the photo, not the actual lyrics. While the song was still playing, I looked up the image on my phone by searching "Metallica bargains" (no quotes) on Google. There were a lot of results, and many of them were the image I was looking for. I loaded it up, and once again, laughing uncontrollably, basked in the warm light of a good joke.

And an apt one, too. At a very basic level, this image is essentially perfect because it's simply always funny to see rockers doing mundane things. Like the image of Glenn Danzig carrying a value-sized box of cat litter, it takes their innate coolness down a notch, sure, but it also serves to remind us that they too, are just some dudes who need to shop.

But the Metallica image endures for another reason, I think. It's that thing I said above about timing and world events. Metallica was, in the 1980's and very early 1990's, one of the best and best-loved heavy metal bands. "One" perhaps typifies this relationship that the band straddled between the niche heavy metal fan and MTV-loving masses (how many times as a child, did I watch that video, sitting on the floor of my basement, mouth gaping open?). But, by 2008, they had seen better days. By the time this photograph — sans caption — was first published online, the band's documentary Some Kind of Monster had peeled back the curtain a little farther than anyone probably wanted. The album the band was making in that film, St. Anger, also left much to be desired. Good songs, for instance. But more importantly, Metallica had made a fatal mistake; one which, if the lack of Metallica in my Rdio collection is any indication, continues to this day. Metallica had misunderstood the internet, and the move to digital music distribution. The band sued Napster in 2000, becoming an outspoken symbol for a new generation of everything that was wrong with the music industry, and they never really recovered from that battle.

Barg-300
Danzig-300
Main-met-300
So, in 2008, when an image of Hetfield and Trujillo shopping at Armani appeared online, it was the perfect moment, the right mixture of timing, world events, and the newly-born viral meme, which combined to produce one of my favorite internet things ever. This band was the best available — and maybe most deserving — target for the internet’s nascent and growing ability to cleverly and succinctly make fun of something.

These days, images with captions on them are a reflex, a given part of life on the internet. I make sometimes several a day, and even my parents know how to "read" them. But in 2008, memes weren't exactly mainstream, and many people had never heard of 4chan. So, when I decided to try to find the origins of the captioned image, I figured it had inevitably come from 4chan because that's where most funny pictures with captions tend to originate, but hoped to find something more interesting. Searching around metal forums from 2008 lead me, fairly quickly, to an August 25th, 2008 blog post on the Boston Phoenix, by staff writer Carly Carioli.

COMMENTS FOR THIS THREAD ARE NOW CLOSED
In the article, which has the uncaptioned photo as its lead image, Cariloi makes fun of The New Yorker’s lack of familiarity with Some Kind of Monster (lol), and also takes the opportunity to make up a few captions for the image, including, "The Shorts that Should Not Be," and "Enter Salesman." He also suggests his readers make up their own captions in the comments. So, here it was, a music writer in Boston, who had seemingly suggested the act of creation that would result in the image which still haunts me. I browsed the comments, and even got a few chuckles ("Enter Blandman" and "Kill a Mall" are both pretty good!), before I saw what I was looking for. Comment #35, posted by "Anonymous," 4 years ago:

Bargains-555
I scrolled up, knowing what I needed to do, but wait! Comments for this thread are now closed. How would I ever find this genius if I can’t respond to him!?

Metallica-bargians
HE WAS OBVIOUSLY UNAWARE THAT HE IS ONE OF THE PROGENITORS OF SOMETHING SO NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART
So, here it was, the image, the idea, and the caption, but not yet fused into one perfectly captioned (with Frankfurter?) sentiment, forever to flood Google image searches for the words "Metallica" and "bargains." I decided to keep digging.

I tweeted at the author of the Phoenix article, and thankfully, he emailed me back. When I asked him about it, he said he had a "vague recollection" of writing the article, and I felt a little deflated. I can’t blame him, it was four years ago, but he was obviously unaware that he is one of the progenitors of something so near and dear to my heart.

I decided to keep digging, looking at the places each individual image in Google search results originated from. The 2008 results were the most promising, of course, and finally lead me to a photo agency, Bauer Griffin, where again, I found exactly what I was looking for. In its archives, there it was, with the caption:

Lead singer of Metallica James Hetfield vacations in Milan with his wife Francesca and friends. EXCLUSIVE July 24, 2008. Job: 80725P3 Milan, Italy.


Milan? Well, that changes everything. Wife? For years I’d assumed Hetfield was just buying new threads in LA but had never considered Milan.* Digging deeper into the Bauer Griffin archives, I found that there wasn’t just one photo taken that day, but a series of four images, all incredible. I pored over them to see if the best image had ultimately won, and came to the conclusion that yes, it had. I emailed Bauer Griffin to see if I could ascertain who the photographer was, so that I could ask him if he knew what his creation had become. They haven’t gotten back to me.

Bgmetallica-300
James-300
I'VE GOTTEN SOME ANSWERS, BUT AM LEFT WITH A LOT OF QUESTIONS
So, nearly one week since my quest began in earnest, I've gotten some answers, but am left with a lot of questions. For starters, what's inside the bag? Also, I still don’t know who actually captioned this image, why they chose that particular font, and if, in fact, they were the author of the original, brilliant comment on The Phoenix. In my brightest moments, I imagine that is the case. In my darkest moments, however, I feel like I’ll never know the answer for sure, and sometimes, I even begin to doubt the cultural relevancy of this image to begin with: I asked two of my friends who know all the latest, coolest memes, and they both essentially said the same thing to me on GChat:

"Hahhahhahahah," followed by "I’ve never seen this."

What about you? Have you seen this image? Did you photoshop the caption onto it almost exactly four years ago? Let me know in the comments, and rest assured that my search for the truth will go on.

Thanks to John Herrman for introducing me to the image of Glenn Danzig carrying a giant box of cat litter.

An earlier version of this article stated that Metallica was working on Death Magnetic in the film Some Kind of Monster. They were, in fact, working on an even worse album, St. Anger. The article has been corrected.

*Some have pointed out that I should have immediately recognized this photo was shot in Milan because the bag reads Armani Collezioni. I can confirm that in addition to the freestanding stores in Milan and Paris, the Collezioni is also available at high-end retailers such as Bergdorf Goodman, though whether it doles out the custom bags is unknown. Secondly, readers have pointed out that the image also has a car with an obviously Italian license plate in it. I apologize for my oversight.

 
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Old 12-25-2017, 05:59 AM   #611
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what

 
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Old 12-25-2017, 06:09 AM   #612
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one of my best posts to date

 
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Old 12-25-2017, 06:30 AM   #613
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If you say so

 
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Old 12-25-2017, 12:16 PM   #614
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I liked the earlier one about astronomy and black holes (of the soul)

 
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Old 12-25-2017, 12:16 PM   #615
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Also, does coffee count as a drug? Cuz these days I refer to the amount of pots I drink, not cups. Hello, heart attack!!

 
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Old 12-25-2017, 02:57 PM   #616
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coffee is a vehicle. caffeine is a drug

 
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Old 12-25-2017, 02:57 PM   #617
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caffeine is for fiends

 
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Old 12-25-2017, 03:13 PM   #618
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or parents of infants. same thing i guess...

 
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Old 12-25-2017, 03:13 PM   #619
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had a whole pot today and it isn't even noon!

 
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Old 12-25-2017, 03:19 PM   #620
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I had a tiny, tiny bit of coffee yesterday. Still can't stand caffeine

 
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Old 12-25-2017, 03:41 PM   #621
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I used to drink it black with an occasional artificial sweetener but now I use extravagantly flavored creamer and sugar. I'm not sure which is worse for your insides, tbqh. Coffee is the only way I do caffeine, I don't like soda or weird caffeine products.

 
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Old 12-25-2017, 04:29 PM   #622
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ilikeplanets View Post
or parents of infants. same thing i guess...
I don't have an infant I'm just a fiend

Quote:
Originally Posted by ilikeplanets View Post
I used to drink it black with an occasional artificial sweetener but now I use extravagantly flavored creamer and sugar. I'm not sure which is worse for your insides, tbqh. Coffee is the only way I do caffeine, I don't like soda or weird caffeine products.
I think there are a lot of health benefits from drinking coffee actually

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Old 12-25-2017, 04:37 PM   #623
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Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
this most horrifying, finite, inescapable sense of loneliness washed over me last night.

lately i've been going out more on my own, like, just going to the bar to have a drink and shoot pool with some good players (which has been therapeutic for me recently, a refreshing new activity to be challenged by). it's mostly been good, but last night i just suddenly looked at myself from the outside and felt like i was the sole island in a sea of groups and groups of friends, being that guy who you strike up a conversation with and realize yeah he's just here alone and (insert judgement here). then i started comparing myself to some A-level bar creeps who also usually come on their own as well. then i went home and alternated between very kitschy and very ugly music until 4 am.
Oh man... This is totally me right here

 
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Old 12-25-2017, 04:40 PM   #624
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what, a bar creep?

 
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Old 12-25-2017, 04:41 PM   #625
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redbreegull View Post
I don't have an infant I'm just a fiend



I think there are a lot of health benefits from drinking coffee actually

Mayo Clinic – Covfefe and Health
I fear I exceed the recommended amount. As I do with everything, evar.

 
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Old 12-26-2017, 04:01 AM   #626
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I started drinking coffee recently because of my gf.
Still don't really love the taste... but it does help me feeling more awake.

 
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Old 12-26-2017, 04:12 AM   #627
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coffee is overrated

 
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Old 12-26-2017, 04:15 AM   #628
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
Sometimes, one image can change everything. Usually, a combination of timing and world events collide with a great photographer, an auteur of the single still image, shifting the way that we collectively view the world. For me, that change came somewhere around... oh, September of 2008. The photograph depicted Metallica frontman James Hetfield standing outside of what appeared to be an outlet mall, in plaid shorts and flip flops, holding an Armani shopping bag. He was accompanied by the bass player of Metallica (third: not Cliff, not Newsted) whose name, I have found, is Robert Trujillo, and two women.

The first time I saw this image, however, it had already been molested and modified, in the way that the internet gloriously does sometimes. A caption to the right of the main part of the photo, (sing to yourself, to the tune of "One") reads:

"Bargains / Imprisoning me / All that I see / Absolute savings / What a great deal / What a great find / Look at these jeans / Damn I look sexy as helllllllll."
ALL THAT I HEAR IS THE CAPTION TO THE PHOTO, NOT THE ACTUAL LYRICS
I don't remember where I first saw the image. In vain over the past few days I've searched my old emails, because I know that in the days that followed my initial find, I forwarded it onto at least two brothers and three friends. I'm tempted to say I first saw it on Facebook, but I can't be sure.


Fast forward to last weekend, when I heard the tail end — the most kick ass part — of "One" on the radio. It was then that I realized that the "Bargains" image has irreparably damaged my relationship with this song. All that I hear is the caption to the photo, not the actual lyrics. While the song was still playing, I looked up the image on my phone by searching "Metallica bargains" (no quotes) on Google. There were a lot of results, and many of them were the image I was looking for. I loaded it up, and once again, laughing uncontrollably, basked in the warm light of a good joke.

And an apt one, too. At a very basic level, this image is essentially perfect because it's simply always funny to see rockers doing mundane things. Like the image of Glenn Danzig carrying a value-sized box of cat litter, it takes their innate coolness down a notch, sure, but it also serves to remind us that they too, are just some dudes who need to shop.

But the Metallica image endures for another reason, I think. It's that thing I said above about timing and world events. Metallica was, in the 1980's and very early 1990's, one of the best and best-loved heavy metal bands. "One" perhaps typifies this relationship that the band straddled between the niche heavy metal fan and MTV-loving masses (how many times as a child, did I watch that video, sitting on the floor of my basement, mouth gaping open?). But, by 2008, they had seen better days. By the time this photograph — sans caption — was first published online, the band's documentary Some Kind of Monster had peeled back the curtain a little farther than anyone probably wanted. The album the band was making in that film, St. Anger, also left much to be desired. Good songs, for instance. But more importantly, Metallica had made a fatal mistake; one which, if the lack of Metallica in my Rdio collection is any indication, continues to this day. Metallica had misunderstood the internet, and the move to digital music distribution. The band sued Napster in 2000, becoming an outspoken symbol for a new generation of everything that was wrong with the music industry, and they never really recovered from that battle.

Barg-300
Danzig-300
Main-met-300
So, in 2008, when an image of Hetfield and Trujillo shopping at Armani appeared online, it was the perfect moment, the right mixture of timing, world events, and the newly-born viral meme, which combined to produce one of my favorite internet things ever. This band was the best available — and maybe most deserving — target for the internet’s nascent and growing ability to cleverly and succinctly make fun of something.

These days, images with captions on them are a reflex, a given part of life on the internet. I make sometimes several a day, and even my parents know how to "read" them. But in 2008, memes weren't exactly mainstream, and many people had never heard of 4chan. So, when I decided to try to find the origins of the captioned image, I figured it had inevitably come from 4chan because that's where most funny pictures with captions tend to originate, but hoped to find something more interesting. Searching around metal forums from 2008 lead me, fairly quickly, to an August 25th, 2008 blog post on the Boston Phoenix, by staff writer Carly Carioli.

COMMENTS FOR THIS THREAD ARE NOW CLOSED
In the article, which has the uncaptioned photo as its lead image, Cariloi makes fun of The New Yorker’s lack of familiarity with Some Kind of Monster (lol), and also takes the opportunity to make up a few captions for the image, including, "The Shorts that Should Not Be," and "Enter Salesman." He also suggests his readers make up their own captions in the comments. So, here it was, a music writer in Boston, who had seemingly suggested the act of creation that would result in the image which still haunts me. I browsed the comments, and even got a few chuckles ("Enter Blandman" and "Kill a Mall" are both pretty good!), before I saw what I was looking for. Comment #35, posted by "Anonymous," 4 years ago:

Bargains-555
I scrolled up, knowing what I needed to do, but wait! Comments for this thread are now closed. How would I ever find this genius if I can’t respond to him!?

Metallica-bargians
HE WAS OBVIOUSLY UNAWARE THAT HE IS ONE OF THE PROGENITORS OF SOMETHING SO NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART
So, here it was, the image, the idea, and the caption, but not yet fused into one perfectly captioned (with Frankfurter?) sentiment, forever to flood Google image searches for the words "Metallica" and "bargains." I decided to keep digging.

I tweeted at the author of the Phoenix article, and thankfully, he emailed me back. When I asked him about it, he said he had a "vague recollection" of writing the article, and I felt a little deflated. I can’t blame him, it was four years ago, but he was obviously unaware that he is one of the progenitors of something so near and dear to my heart.

I decided to keep digging, looking at the places each individual image in Google search results originated from. The 2008 results were the most promising, of course, and finally lead me to a photo agency, Bauer Griffin, where again, I found exactly what I was looking for. In its archives, there it was, with the caption:

Lead singer of Metallica James Hetfield vacations in Milan with his wife Francesca and friends. EXCLUSIVE July 24, 2008. Job: 80725P3 Milan, Italy.


Milan? Well, that changes everything. Wife? For years I’d assumed Hetfield was just buying new threads in LA but had never considered Milan.* Digging deeper into the Bauer Griffin archives, I found that there wasn’t just one photo taken that day, but a series of four images, all incredible. I pored over them to see if the best image had ultimately won, and came to the conclusion that yes, it had. I emailed Bauer Griffin to see if I could ascertain who the photographer was, so that I could ask him if he knew what his creation had become. They haven’t gotten back to me.

Bgmetallica-300
James-300
I'VE GOTTEN SOME ANSWERS, BUT AM LEFT WITH A LOT OF QUESTIONS
So, nearly one week since my quest began in earnest, I've gotten some answers, but am left with a lot of questions. For starters, what's inside the bag? Also, I still don’t know who actually captioned this image, why they chose that particular font, and if, in fact, they were the author of the original, brilliant comment on The Phoenix. In my brightest moments, I imagine that is the case. In my darkest moments, however, I feel like I’ll never know the answer for sure, and sometimes, I even begin to doubt the cultural relevancy of this image to begin with: I asked two of my friends who know all the latest, coolest memes, and they both essentially said the same thing to me on GChat:

"Hahhahhahahah," followed by "I’ve never seen this."

What about you? Have you seen this image? Did you photoshop the caption onto it almost exactly four years ago? Let me know in the comments, and rest assured that my search for the truth will go on.

Thanks to John Herrman for introducing me to the image of Glenn Danzig carrying a giant box of cat litter.

An earlier version of this article stated that Metallica was working on Death Magnetic in the film Some Kind of Monster. They were, in fact, working on an even worse album, St. Anger. The article has been corrected.

*Some have pointed out that I should have immediately recognized this photo was shot in Milan because the bag reads Armani Collezioni. I can confirm that in addition to the freestanding stores in Milan and Paris, the Collezioni is also available at high-end retailers such as Bergdorf Goodman, though whether it doles out the custom bags is unknown. Secondly, readers have pointed out that the image also has a car with an obviously Italian license plate in it. I apologize for my oversight.
this was A+ boxing day reading

did you write it?

 
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Old 12-26-2017, 04:18 AM   #629
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It reminds me of another thought I had, about Star Wars, about how Darth Vader never eats anything.

Like, how 'behind the curtain' would it be to see ol' Darth Skywalker with his mask off, eating a banana because you know, he has to eat something and bananas are actually great for active people like space villains

 
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Old 12-26-2017, 04:20 AM   #630
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boxing

or boxing?

 
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