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Old 02-27-2018, 04:10 PM   #31
FlamingGlobes
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...Happy Birthday vix!

 
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Old 02-27-2018, 04:13 PM   #32
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But it's receding! Read all about it in the Shits Recently Took(!) thread.

 
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Old 02-27-2018, 04:57 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buzzard View Post
Your parents don't answer their phone.
Are you kidding??

 
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Old 02-27-2018, 06:44 PM   #34
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Only about that one thing.

 
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Old 02-27-2018, 06:48 PM   #35
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Your old man picked up within the second ring and barked "Yep" at me.

For a second, there, I thought it was Graham Henry.

 
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Old 02-27-2018, 07:55 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes View Post
Yes, I am. And unfortunately, it wasn't a result of butt-stuff. I think I just pooped too hard or something.
there is nothing worse than getting dressed and going to work and having to act and walk normal when you feel like you have a baseball bat crammed up your ass

sorry 'lobes

 
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Old 02-28-2018, 05:25 AM   #37
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\_(ツ)_/

 
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Old 02-28-2018, 05:25 AM   #38
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It's getting better. Soon I'll be able to cram a finger or two in there again.

 
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Old 02-28-2018, 05:35 AM   #39
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yay

 
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Old 02-28-2018, 06:05 AM   #40
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i mean, it's only natural a vixnix birthday thread will get to having a baseball bat up your ass and cramming fingers in there by page 2

 
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Old 02-28-2018, 06:09 AM   #41
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Old 02-28-2018, 06:10 AM   #42
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Either the thread dies early or lives long enough to become about butt stuff.

 
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Old 02-28-2018, 06:16 AM   #43
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All threads should devolve into butt stuff talk.

 
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Old 02-28-2018, 06:19 AM   #44
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Old 02-28-2018, 04:56 PM   #45
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Yeah man I got a hemmroid too

Tucks pads are good for everyday

When it was real bad, 1st sprouted, I got rx some kinda cracklin foam for cooling/soothing relief, but the applicator sucked, definitely was not designed by anyone who had ever had to put anything in their bottoms befor

I can’t remember what it was called but don’t get it

 
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Old 02-28-2018, 05:12 PM   #46
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Oh yeah it was proctofoam

Avoid

 
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Old 02-28-2018, 07:06 PM   #47
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i had ones that hurt before but more recently i've had internal ones that mercifully don't hurt at all

i remember being prescribed a cream before that was called ANALPRAM, it came in little single tubes all in a box with ANALPRAM in big writing. i was 20 and so embarrassed when i picked it up from the pharmacy. now i wouldn't care at all.

 
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Old 02-28-2018, 08:25 PM   #48
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ANALPRAM is my favorite British black metal band.

 
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Old 02-28-2018, 08:36 PM   #49
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never had a 'roid but a couple of teeny anal fissures yes

felt zesty

 
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Old 02-28-2018, 09:40 PM   #50
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Red face

this is a new type of honesty here in phoria.

i fear this might open a can of worms. imagine what would happen if Disco King saw this and decided to write a four paragraph post about his 'hoid ventures. don't get me wrong, i like hearing about other people's bleeding rectums just as much as the next guy, but this seems a bit much.

 
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Old 02-28-2018, 10:45 PM   #51
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not if you lotion them fissures up copiously

heals em purdy quick like

 
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Old 02-28-2018, 11:43 PM   #52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LaBelle View Post
Either the thread dies early or lives long enough to become about butt stuff.

 
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Old 03-01-2018, 12:02 AM   #53
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The circle is complete

 
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Old 03-01-2018, 05:23 AM   #54
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The circle is complete
Well, not quite. It's still healing. I expect it to be a complete circle again sometime next week.

 
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Old 03-01-2018, 05:28 AM   #55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
this is a new type of honesty here in phoria.

i fear this might open a can of worms. imagine what would happen if Disco King saw this and decided to write a four paragraph post about his 'hoid ventures. don't get me wrong, i like hearing about other people's bleeding rectums just as much as the next guy, but this seems a bit much.

 
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Old 03-01-2018, 06:07 AM   #56
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Old 03-01-2018, 08:06 AM   #57
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Every roes has its fuzz.

 
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Old 03-01-2018, 01:56 PM   #58
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So poetic it's pathetic.

 
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Old 03-02-2018, 02:23 AM   #59
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this post works on too many layers and i'm not sure which was intended

 
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Old 03-02-2018, 04:18 AM   #60
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Yeah, I had that thought, too.

It troubles me that I did.

 
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