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Old 04-05-2019, 10:40 AM   #121
Disco King
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Originally Posted by Run To Me View Post
Lol “mind blowing sex”

Why do dudes say the dumbest shit like this

Dude omg my boner was totally harder than its been in WEEKS just raging in my shorts and then she totally omg she jumped my bones (in other words she was kind enough to let me put it in not only her mouth but also her vagina) and FUCK bro we were just a-pumpin and just a-goin at it if u catch my drift (wink wink wink)!!!!!
Hahaha, why do dudes treat sex like something that they should enjoy? What pigs, amirite, ladies?

But at least you know I'm not like other guys. I'm a good guy who doesn't care about sex (but if you want to give me some, that's okay with me, I won't judge you for it because I respect your sexual empowerment)!

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 10:48 AM   #122
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My girlfriend's favorite band is The Smashing Pumpkins but she completely stopped following the band after Widow Wake My Mind, which is probably what we all should have done. Anyway I still think there are a handful of really great SP tracks since that time and I decided to learn a few of them on guitar and play them for her and tell her that I wrote them-- I wanted to see if she would say they sounded like Smashing Pumpkins before she actually knew they were written by Billy Corgan.

So I played her covers of Pinwheels, Being Beige, Dorian, Silvery Sometimes and With Sympathy and she pretty much jumped my bones. Mind blowing sex. Our relationship was kind of in a dull patch, and suddenly it felt really vibrant again. I decided I couldn't tell her the truth, because I wanted to keep her believing I was a great songwriter because I think that belief would translate into at least two or three more weeks of mind blowing sex.

Anyway that was all about a week ago; everything has been perfect in the meantime and we've just really been on the ups. Tonight, tonight, though, she sat me down and was like "hey LoveIsSuicide42, your songs inspired me and I decided to write a couple for you if you want to hear them." And of course I did! So what does she do but whip out her guitar and play a set consisting of Spangled, My Love is Winter, Drum + Fife, and Knights of Malta. I heaped praises on her, just like she did to me, and we just got done banging vigorously. I don't think we're ever going to talk about what's going on but god it was hard to keep it up after hearing her sing Knights of Malta.
I was walking home the other day, and out of the clear blue sky a pigeon buzzes past my ear, trying to get to some seeds some old lady was chucking around the street. Just barrels past me, all flappy-like. A friggin’ pigeon. Needless to say, I had to assert my dominance, and so chased off the entire flock of pigeons. Then I knocked the seed bag from the old lady’s hand. Victory was mine. Obviously I gloated for several hours upon arriving home safely, and wondered aloud “can any beast from heaven or earth defeat me?” My girlfriend then named several large and medium-sized animals that could obliterate me. “Fine”, I retorted, conceding that I would lose a boxing match to a kangaroo, “but I would crush literally every bird species on Earth today”. “F*** birds!”, I added. My girlfriend’s quizzical/concerned look indicated that she agreed with my sentiment. After moving to a different room for some time, my girlfriend returned to state that she did not believe that I could defeat an ostrich in a fight. A grown ostrich, she clarified, after I said that I could simply smash it in egg form. The ensuing debate ignited a heated argument that lingers to this day. Several, actually, but only one that involves me fighting a bird, and not locked in another battle of the “Nothing You Say Makes Any Sense, You’re Such a Man-Child” war. After several weeks of fighting, I’ve decided to definitively answer once and for all. ’ll be fighting this ostrich face to face. The ostrich will know we are fighting. I’ll be fighting a full-size male ostrich, presumably because his girlfriend told him he couldn’t beat a human male. I won’t use weaponry, because the obvious weapon would be too devastating. I’m a leviathan of a man, standing nearly 6 feet in height. I am muscular and lithe, and weigh 200 lbs, if you round to the nearest hundred. I’m therefore above the average height and average weight of a Canadian man. I am truly an elite specimen. An average male ostrich stands between…7 and 9 feet…and weighs around 250 pounds…with a wingspan of about 7 feet. Holy hell, that’s a big bird. You wouldn’t think a flappy-ass bird could weigh so much, but unlike flying birds, flightless birds (or ratites) have heavy, solid bones, because why fly when you already stand in the sky? The average ostrich can get up to speeds near 70 km/h out in the open, which is faster than Usain Bolt’s 30 km/h, and much faster than the 10-15 km/h that an average man runs. It’s also a hell of a lot faster than me. I was built more for short bursts of pure, raw, masculine power, like when I open a bag of Doritos. I generally tire quickly, and after an entire bag of Zesty Cheese, I’m ready for a nap. The ostrich, on the other hand, can run at top speed for miles, because their joints have over twice the elastic power as humans, meaning they bound along like biological springs, kind of like Tigger. So how about strength? Like honestly, it’s a goddamn bird, what does it matter if it’s bigger, faster, and has better endurance than me? I’ll just grab that bastard’s skinny neck and choke it to death with my extreme upper body strength, fueled by so many Dorito bag openings. I’m stronger than 66% of male “lifters” in my weight category. Which is…pretty good, actually. I’m the best, minus about 34% of other guys. An ostrich has wings instead of arms, so I automatically win the bicep curl. National Geographic tells me ostrich legs are super strong, though, and they can glide up to 16 feet in a single bound. They’re also powerful enough to kill a lion with a single kick…or a human. It actually says that right there in the article. And they kick forward. Which means if an ostrich was intent on killing me, it could probably kick me to death, unless I scrambled behind it and choked it, which I probably couldn’t do because it’s too tall and too fast. I’ll never let my girlfriend see this post.

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 11:00 AM   #123
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EPICAC
Isn't this what you take to induce vomiting, much like reading the OP

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 11:01 AM   #124
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Originally Posted by Disco King View Post
Hahaha, why do dudes treat sex like something that they should enjoy? What pigs, amirite, ladies?

But at least you know I'm not like other guys. I'm a good guy who doesn't care about sex (but if you want to give me some, that's okay with me, I won't judge you for it because I respect your sexual empowerment)!
Dude u sound like a killer bro who just had some mind blowing sex TELL US ALL ABOUT IT PLEASE!!!!!!!!

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 11:36 AM   #125
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Monte?

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 12:38 PM   #126
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Talking about sex? Never, that sounds like toxic masculinity to me.

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 12:44 PM   #127
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Talking about sex? Never, that sounds like toxic masculinity to me.
Lol ok man let’s get into it, let’s talk about sex and men talking about sex, let’s make this thread happen

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 12:50 PM   #128
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Ok ill go first

Generally, let’s agree that talkin sex is fun and cool, but personally i think it’s cheesy/embarrassing af when dudes throw out “jump my bones” “omg my boner” “mind blowing sex”

Suggest a dude need to grow up, a bit, maybe?

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 01:01 PM   #129
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What is particularly immature about the phrases "to jump ones bones" and "mind-blowing?"

Does this extend to other things people might be enthusiastic about discussing? For example, "I went to Lloyd's and had a mind-blowing pizza?" "I read a mind-blowing book?" "My friend and I had a mind-blowing conversation?"

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 01:05 PM   #130
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Perhaps we should only use clinical terminology. "We engaged in satisfying intercourse after I plagiarized Billy Corgan's more listenable later-life work."

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 01:08 PM   #131
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You got something to say, Run2Pee?

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 01:40 PM   #132
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Yeah “mind blowing” in isolation isn’t so bad. But it’s still annoying, to me

IT WAS SO MIND BLOWING BRO. Ok, you talkin bout that bag of doritos u just slammed or your love u just made with another living person?

Sex is best when it’s about connection, yeah? The various devices of op, taken together, strike me as the language of consumption

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 01:42 PM   #133
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Kinda ignores the "mind-blowing conversation" example, but okay

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 01:44 PM   #134
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But, like, how does that language necessarily preclude intimate connection and all that? What about it implies "consumption?"

And where does the idea that "talking about sex is immature in cases were said discussions about sex aren't about deep connection" leave casual sex? It would seem like slut-shaming to imply that consensual casual, aromatic, NSA sex is "immature."

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 02:00 PM   #135
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I love how despite the content of the first post (mind-blowing content, if you will) the direction this thread has gone is based upon the choice of adjective the op used to describe his ensuing sex w/ girlfriend

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 02:06 PM   #136
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Originally Posted by Disco King View Post
But, like, how does that language necessarily preclude intimate connection and all that? What about it implies "consumption?"

And where does the idea that "talking about sex is immature in cases were said discussions about sex aren't about deep connection" leave casual sex? It would seem like slut-shaming to imply that consensual casual, aromatic, NSA sex is "immature."
Omg did dk just admit he’s a slut

Sorry i shamed u man

Get back at that sexin, don’t mind me, ill be over here writing a sonnet about the last wicked handjob i scored

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 02:07 PM   #137
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But seriously casual sex is a kinda connection, too

Nobody said anything about “deep connection” did they

Nah man u brought the deep into this thread

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 02:08 PM   #138
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Old 04-05-2019, 02:10 PM   #139
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Quibbling about the "deep" qualifier seems like pedantry and goalpost moving, but that's fine.

Okay, what about "mind-blowing bone-jumping" is necessarily incompatible with connection, deep or casual?

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 02:11 PM   #140
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True story, I was the girlfriend

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 02:13 PM   #141
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Then WHO WAS PHONE

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 02:21 PM   #142
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Okay, what about "mind-blowing bone-jumping" is necessarily incompatible with connection, deep or casual?
Ok yes it’s not “necessarily incompatible,” gosh!

Sorry Dk you will quickly learn today that my brain is not like a super computer of logic, or even reason

But i know what i like and what i don’t like, and more importantly, what rubs me the wrong way (in my parts). And i just think it’s irritating to get on a messageboard and start crowing to strangers about the 10/10 sex u got off your girlperson

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 02:23 PM   #143
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Ok? Like, and then u come in here with this weird almost i wanna say men’s rights angle that dudes should get to rank their sex they got, then abruptly u shapeshift into some sjw slut shaming angle, and frankly now im dizzy

Can we still be friends?

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 02:47 PM   #144
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Angel, you know it's not the end
We'll always be good friends

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 02:53 PM   #145
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still no sex here

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 02:53 PM   #146
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got gish on repeat, what's the problem

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 03:23 PM   #147
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For the record, I'm not into MRA shit at all. I guess I think men should have the right to "rank the sex they got," but I also think that women should have the right to evaluate and assess their sexual experiences according to their personal criteria. I've had female friends complain to me about bad sex they've had wherein they were not very satisfied, and I didn't chastise them for daring to be the adjudicators of their own sexual experiences.

I'd understand the qualms if OP made objectifying and degrading statements, like "I totally railed that bitch and used her like a rag," but the way he spoke about the experience he's depicting seemed quite normal of even intimate, monogamous couples who happen to find sex fun.

I understand the vague sentiments some people have toward most male expressions of sexuality being deviant and suspect, even when they can't put their finger on why. But I don't think that fighting male entitled or objectification of women necessitates this knee-jerk reaction toward all make sexual interest.

I think that people tend to pick their constellations of sentiments and ideologies whole cloth, rather than logically evaluating each independent belief, and so a position that is logically compatible with their core beliefs but isn't part of the network of implicit attitudes they've adopted feels like it's contrary to their core beliefs. So, a guy who isn't an MRA saying "uh, guys can be sex-positive and talk about enjoying sex without necessarily being exploitative" comes off as an MRA to them. The position simply resembles what they associate with MRAs, even if it doesn't necessitates MRA beliefs nor contradict basic progressive values. Probably a form of the representation bias.

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 03:29 PM   #148
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A couple of years ago, I probably would have had the exact same reaction. But as I get older, my positions become more nuanced, whereas before, my evaluation of myself as being one of the "good guys" relied upon unquestioningly accepting the positions, explicit and explicit, of what appears to be the "correct side." Hell, over the past year, I went from thinking NATO is an evil instrument of US imperialism, to thinking it's a good idea because it's the European states who are the ones begging for US assistance in their security matters (this is definitely not a common view amongst other leftists). Being a bit more investigative can definitely make people on "your side" look at you as if you've "defected." But I'm not an MRA or neocon or anything like that, I'm still the same old socialist pro-feminist leftie scum.

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 03:30 PM   #149
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got gish on repeat, what's the problem
gotta blast those Teargarden jams if you want the mbs

 
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Old 04-05-2019, 03:30 PM   #150
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(mind-blowing sexx)

 
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