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Old 02-04-2021, 10:37 PM   #1
butthurt
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Default Do you think it's weird for a human to poo in a cat litter box?

Please share your thoughts.

 
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Old 02-04-2021, 10:47 PM   #2
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No, it's perfectly normal behavior, imo.


I'll come by in a couple of days when the turds have hardened. Makes for a tasty mid-afternoon snack!

 
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Old 02-04-2021, 11:21 PM   #3
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I've read like six magazines about this. I am an expert. I'd say its perfectly normal, but only when you don't have access to functioning plumbing.

 
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Old 02-05-2021, 12:08 AM   #4
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It's not odd if you're a furry

 
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Old 02-05-2021, 01:05 AM   #5
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Don't shit where you eat.

 
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Old 02-05-2021, 05:43 AM   #6
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I haven't used the human toilet in years.

 
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Old 02-05-2021, 07:42 AM   #7
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I love using my human toilet, which is my gimp.

 
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Old 02-05-2021, 08:14 AM   #8
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Which is FoolofaTook.

 
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Old 02-05-2021, 09:36 AM   #9
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Change that "g" to a "p" and you got it, b!


 
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Old 02-05-2021, 09:37 AM   #10
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AIN'T NOBODY FUCKIN WID ME MANE

HEY YOU ALREADY KNOW DAT PIMP

 
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Old 02-05-2021, 10:11 AM   #11
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My friend told me a relative was staying in his basement once for a week or so. When the relative left, my friend found a cat litter box hidden behind the couch with a human poo in it.

 
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Old 02-05-2021, 11:50 AM   #12
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Was it yummy?

 
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Old 02-05-2021, 01:06 PM   #13
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tha box is HOT

 
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Old 02-05-2021, 01:11 PM   #14
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it doesn't matter how many dragonfruit pics i post on here i'll never be as "fly" as these two


 
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Old 02-05-2021, 01:27 PM   #15
Joey Goldberg
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wassup took it's our TURN baby


 
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Old 02-05-2021, 01:52 PM   #16
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So, a little background. My local municipalities are renowned for being real douche canoes. I send the check for my water bill via mail, but apparently this month they didn't get it. I didn't realize until they shut my water off on Friday. I hopped online, paid the bill, and called hoping they would just head over and turn it back on. Nope. I get to wait until Monday. Hooray!

So naturally, I can't take a shit in my house for the next few days. I long ago used the last remaining flush in the tank. I'm an amateur bodybuilder and I eat a lot of damn food. Today just happened to be my monthly break day, where I gorge myself on anything and everything I deem suitable for the king. Today it was some Chipotle, four brownies, and a BBQ chicken pizza. Now, I had all ready taken a glorious shit at the mall. I thought I was good for a while, and would just head to the gas station when I need to drop another deuce.

Fast forward to around four hours ago. I'm a bit sleepy, and my crush is going to be meeting up with me later in the evening for dinner. I decide to take a couple hour nap. I lay down and all is well. A few times I groggily recognize I'm going to need to poo soon, but I'm in the midst of sleeping and fall back into my slumber.

Suddenly I'm shocked awake by some pangs in my stomach and bowels that can only mean one thing. The devil shits. There is no time to get to a gas station. Like a prom night mishap, this thing is coming whether I like it or not.

I start to panic. I'm brainstorming where I can feasibly pinch off a loaf without ruining something. I'm pacing around my kitchen (I fell asleep on the couch; my living room and kitchen are joined) and I see my cat's litterbox. No. No. Yes.. no. Yes. It has to be done. There is no other way. I rip a roll of paper towels off of my counter. Just as I'm beginning to assume the position over the poor litterbox, my phone rings. It's on the counter, and I can see it's my crush. Woman.. I'm in a real bad place right now, and I'm sorry, but I can't answer the phone.

So, here's where the real fuckup comes into play. All of my friends, relatives, and my crush know where I stash my house key outside so they can just let themselves in and hang out. I have a pretty relaxed relationship with the people I'm close too and they kind of just come and go as they please, which I'm fine with. I love company.

Turns out my crush has decided to stop by WITH HER MOM TO SEE WHATS UP.

I tear my shorts off, and just let it fucking rip. If I had been on a toiled seat, I would have achieved lift off. I'm spraying cat litter everywhere with a viscous, cheesy, Chipotle-y mix of swamp stew. I'm in the zone and I don't hear the door unlatch. My crush rounds the corner as I'm letting out the final grunts of victory.

I see her and just holler 'FUCK!'

I proceed to lose my balance and fall in my shit stew.

The house reeks.

Her mother screams, and they both run back downstairs.

Radio silence since..

I fucked up.


For all of you lovely people who question me just making this shit up, that's honestly fine. Pretty normal for any TIFU I guess. Please keep pointing out plot holes and maybe I can convince myself this didn't happen.

I also am aware you can flush a toilet by pouring water into the bowl quickly, but I only had two gallons of water on hand. It honestly didn't occur to me to put it in the tank.. I also have an English Mastiff, and he wasn't about to let me use his drinkin' water to poo with. I WAS SLEEPY AND PANICKED AND I HAD TO SHIT, OKAY? IT WASN'T MY PROUDEST MOMENT.

 
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Old 02-06-2021, 03:10 PM   #17
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Should also add that there was a fully functioning bathroom in the basement, so using the cat litter box was not necessary.

 
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Old 02-16-2021, 01:25 PM   #18
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Cat litter is expensive. For what it is. And what it is is clay that your cat shits and pisses in. You also have to lug it around, so there's a thermodynamic cost.

I had a friend who used to piss in another friend's cat's litter box, because he thought it was funny. It was indeed funny. But I guess the problem is that human piss takes up most of the litter in the box in one rip.

And if you're taking a shit in a litter box, you better dig a deep hole and pray to your god that it's solid. You'll probably need to bury it, and there's a chance it just won't fit. If you've never weighed yourself before and after taking a shit, I highly recommend doing so. Kind of scary.

 
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Old 02-16-2021, 01:32 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MyOneAndOnly View Post
So, a little background. My local municipalities are renowned for being real douche canoes. I send the check for my water bill via mail, but apparently this month they didn't get it. I didn't realize until they shut my water off on Friday. I hopped online, paid the bill, and called hoping they would just head over and turn it back on. Nope. I get to wait until Monday. Hooray!

So naturally, I can't take a shit in my house for the next few days. I long ago used the last remaining flush in the tank. I'm an amateur bodybuilder and I eat a lot of damn food. Today just happened to be my monthly break day, where I gorge myself on anything and everything I deem suitable for the king. Today it was some Chipotle, four brownies, and a BBQ chicken pizza. Now, I had all ready taken a glorious shit at the mall. I thought I was good for a while, and would just head to the gas station when I need to drop another deuce.

Fast forward to around four hours ago. I'm a bit sleepy, and my crush is going to be meeting up with me later in the evening for dinner. I decide to take a couple hour nap. I lay down and all is well. A few times I groggily recognize I'm going to need to poo soon, but I'm in the midst of sleeping and fall back into my slumber.

Suddenly I'm shocked awake by some pangs in my stomach and bowels that can only mean one thing. The devil shits. There is no time to get to a gas station. Like a prom night mishap, this thing is coming whether I like it or not.

I start to panic. I'm brainstorming where I can feasibly pinch off a loaf without ruining something. I'm pacing around my kitchen (I fell asleep on the couch; my living room and kitchen are joined) and I see my cat's litterbox. No. No. Yes.. no. Yes. It has to be done. There is no other way. I rip a roll of paper towels off of my counter. Just as I'm beginning to assume the position over the poor litterbox, my phone rings. It's on the counter, and I can see it's my crush. Woman.. I'm in a real bad place right now, and I'm sorry, but I can't answer the phone.

So, here's where the real fuckup comes into play. All of my friends, relatives, and my crush know where I stash my house key outside so they can just let themselves in and hang out. I have a pretty relaxed relationship with the people I'm close too and they kind of just come and go as they please, which I'm fine with. I love company.

Turns out my crush has decided to stop by WITH HER MOM TO SEE WHATS UP.

I tear my shorts off, and just let it fucking rip. If I had been on a toiled seat, I would have achieved lift off. I'm spraying cat litter everywhere with a viscous, cheesy, Chipotle-y mix of swamp stew. I'm in the zone and I don't hear the door unlatch. My crush rounds the corner as I'm letting out the final grunts of victory.

I see her and just holler 'FUCK!'

I proceed to lose my balance and fall in my shit stew.

The house reeks.

Her mother screams, and they both run back downstairs.

Radio silence since..

I fucked up.


For all of you lovely people who question me just making this shit up, that's honestly fine. Pretty normal for any TIFU I guess. Please keep pointing out plot holes and maybe I can convince myself this didn't happen.

I also am aware you can flush a toilet by pouring water into the bowl quickly, but I only had two gallons of water on hand. It honestly didn't occur to me to put it in the tank.. I also have an English Mastiff, and he wasn't about to let me use his drinkin' water to poo with. I WAS SLEEPY AND PANICKED AND I HAD TO SHIT, OKAY? IT WASN'T MY PROUDEST MOMENT.
I though for sure that was a copy /paste job. Googled your entire post in incognito and I'm so sorry this happened to you. You wouldn't lie to me, would you?

 
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Old 02-16-2021, 04:49 PM   #20
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i don't have any good shit stories...i did get drunk one night and shat my jeans while attempting to piss behind a tree in a public park. i also left a concert one night and couldn't make it home in time and i was in a sketchy area with nowhere to go so i shat all over my backseat floor mats... that was a good time.

good thread whos next?

 
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Old 02-16-2021, 09:26 PM   #21
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those are great shit stories

one time i was flirting with this super cute girl but i kept farting, like a lot, but she wasn't saying anything about it so i figured maybe they weren't stinkers, maybe she couldn't smell them, maybe it's fine, i'm getting away with it. then you know what she says to me?

"do you have to poop?"

 
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Old 02-17-2021, 02:09 AM   #22
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then what

you "dropped trou" and laid it all out right there in front of her?

 
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Old 02-17-2021, 02:18 AM   #23
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as a sidenote: of the top 3 threads currently in gen chat, 2 of them are directly about poop

i think we've finally entered a new Netphorian golden age

 
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Old 02-17-2021, 11:04 AM   #24
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Please understand, if I had it to do over again, I would have just kept my words to myself and if I did say them I would have used better wording and been more descriptive,

 
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Old 02-17-2021, 02:03 PM   #25
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i pooped outside in some woods in panama and the next day it was gone

 
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Old 02-17-2021, 09:41 PM   #26
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Probably the fucking dung beetles. They take the poo and roll it around, fuck knows what for.

 
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Old 02-17-2021, 10:54 PM   #27
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if there's anything I've learned from my years of observing insects, you never question the motive of a dung beetle...

humans are the only life form that spends time doing things they shouldn't; all other animals, especially insects, only do exactly what they're supposed to

 
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Old 02-24-2021, 11:29 PM   #28
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Old 02-24-2021, 11:33 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinetree View Post
you never question the motive of a dung beetle
Dung beetles would make great political leaders

 
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