what would you consider coming really close to commiting suicide?

bonsor · 08-07-2003, 11:40 PM

and what would you say is the closest you've ever come?

you first.

Oblivious · 08-07-2003, 11:47 PM

This recipe begins 7 days before the final konclusion.

It comes in 3 basic parts:

1 - diet

2 - medication

3 - the big x-it

Ingredients:

Lithium carbonate everything I've got

Restoril (sleeping pills) 10 ea

Mobicox (pain pills) 15 ea

Vodka 26 oz

Cannabis 1/8 oz

Plastic bag (from supermarket) 1

Small bungee cord (neck size) 1

CD (relaxing music) 1

Diet:
First, I begin a diet where I ingest the least amount of salt as possible.
With the absence of salt in my system, this will elevate the toxicity of the
Lithium and provide a better opportunity to reach dangerous toxic levels.

(If I ran or exercised, that would have been an added benefit as I would
sweat out the salt in my body.)

Second, I eat a lot of fruit or other foods that will cause me to have
diarrhea. In doing so, this will cause my body to purge itself of water in
my system.

An amazing effect - I might even try forcing myself to vomit at least once a
day and this will also have the desired result.

Finally, I will cut my diet in half. This is frustrating for me, but by
doing so, I weaken my system as well as making it susceptible to craving
whatever I put in my mouth.

Medication:
Lithium - I will continue taking my regular dosage of lithium as prescribed
by my pdoc. This is important so I have a suitable level of the drug in my
body. Approximately 7 days before the x-it, I start to increase my intake. I
do this for about 3 days. I don't want to do too much at one time because I
may have to abort my plans because I went toxic too soon and this is not
good. I want to avoid having to go to the hospital because they WILL find
excess in my system and see that I was making another attempt. I will then
be scrutinized forever making it difficult to go this route again.

On the fourth day, I increase by another (maybe during the 12 hours I are
not scheduled). I do this for two days and then increase by another at the
same time period.

By following these instructions for lithium, I should be adequately prepared
for the blastoff on the 7th day.

Restoril - I won't take these pills until the big day. I don't want to
dilute the effect on my system if I am taking these already because I am
manic or whatever. (I put on an Academy performance to get the sleeping
pills today. I wish someone was there to see me.)

Mobicox - Ditto for these. I want a big punch to put me over. I will deal
with the body pain for a few days, besides, it will only be for a few more
days of pain and I will be free forever.

The Big X-It:

After I take care of personal logistics, I will get ready for the fun.
(Note: since this has never been done like this before, I am just providing
a plan and hope my calculations will be successful.)

I will set aside about 12 hours so I can complete my objective. This is just
being on the safe side. I will make sure I have all of my ingredients ready.

The key (I think) is to not take everything all together at the same time.
This will probably just make me vomit and render my plan useless. I'll just
be slow and enjoy the process.

It's probably best that I have a very small snack in my belly so I don't get
any pain in my gut from the drugs.

Using my own judgment, it should take about 3 to 5 hours to ingest
everything. (** I won't be lying down at any time during this process
because I may pass out too soon.**)

So according to my quantities, I would take, say 2 sleeping pills, 3 pain
pills, and 3 lithium every half hour to an hour. It is important I wash it
down with a double shot of vodka (more if I was a regular drinker). I will
smoke a nice fatty each time and then get my nice quiet relaxing CD playing.
For convenience and added effect, I'll switch it to continuous play so I don
't have to bother with always turning it on.

This is the tricky part. When to put on the bag? Playing it by ear, I would
guess to wait as long as I possibly can before I decide this act. If I am
still doing quite well after finishing the meds, I'll just keep smoking and
drinking until I feel I can literally no longer stand up. At this point, I
will climb into bed and get comfortable.

I am going to practice this next part in advance so that I do it right the
first time.

At this point, I'll put the plastic bag over my head and clip the bungee
cord around my neck. Now the idea is not to suffocate myself as the primary
goal, so I won't stop yet. Somewhere along the cord, I will place a few
fingers under the plastic so that I have a little space for a little air to
get in so I can continue breathing. I will ensure my arms and hands are
positioned in such as way so that as I float off into never-never land, my
fingers will slowly let go and the cord will tighten around my neck. I will
now have guaranteed my x-it into another world far, far away from this sick
planet.

Lie · 08-07-2003, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oblivious
This recipe begins 7 days before the final konclusion.

It comes in 3 basic parts:

1 - diet

2 - medication

3 - the big x-it

Ingredients:

Lithium carbonate everything I've got

Restoril (sleeping pills) 10 ea

Mobicox (pain pills) 15 ea

Vodka 26 oz

Cannabis 1/8 oz

Plastic bag (from supermarket) 1

Small bungee cord (neck size) 1

CD (relaxing music) 1

Diet:
First, I begin a diet where I ingest the least amount of salt as possible.
With the absence of salt in my system, this will elevate the toxicity of the
Lithium and provide a better opportunity to reach dangerous toxic levels.

(If I ran or exercised, that would have been an added benefit as I would
sweat out the salt in my body.)

Second, I eat a lot of fruit or other foods that will cause me to have
diarrhea. In doing so, this will cause my body to purge itself of water in
my system.

An amazing effect - I might even try forcing myself to vomit at least once a
day and this will also have the desired result.

Finally, I will cut my diet in half. This is frustrating for me, but by
doing so, I weaken my system as well as making it susceptible to craving
whatever I put in my mouth.

Medication:
Lithium - I will continue taking my regular dosage of lithium as prescribed
by my pdoc. This is important so I have a suitable level of the drug in my
body. Approximately 7 days before the x-it, I start to increase my intake. I
do this for about 3 days. I don't want to do too much at one time because I
may have to abort my plans because I went toxic too soon and this is not
good. I want to avoid having to go to the hospital because they WILL find
excess in my system and see that I was making another attempt. I will then
be scrutinized forever making it difficult to go this route again.

On the fourth day, I increase by another (maybe during the 12 hours I are
not scheduled). I do this for two days and then increase by another at the
same time period.

By following these instructions for lithium, I should be adequately prepared
for the blastoff on the 7th day.

Restoril - I won't take these pills until the big day. I don't want to
dilute the effect on my system if I am taking these already because I am
manic or whatever. (I put on an Academy performance to get the sleeping
pills today. I wish someone was there to see me.)

Mobicox - Ditto for these. I want a big punch to put me over. I will deal
with the body pain for a few days, besides, it will only be for a few more
days of pain and I will be free forever.

The Big X-It:

After I take care of personal logistics, I will get ready for the fun.
(Note: since this has never been done like this before, I am just providing
a plan and hope my calculations will be successful.)

I will set aside about 12 hours so I can complete my objective. This is just
being on the safe side. I will make sure I have all of my ingredients ready.

The key (I think) is to not take everything all together at the same time.
This will probably just make me vomit and render my plan useless. I'll just
be slow and enjoy the process.

It's probably best that I have a very small snack in my belly so I don't get
any pain in my gut from the drugs.

Using my own judgment, it should take about 3 to 5 hours to ingest
everything. (** I won't be lying down at any time during this process
because I may pass out too soon.**)

So according to my quantities, I would take, say 2 sleeping pills, 3 pain
pills, and 3 lithium every half hour to an hour. It is important I wash it
down with a double shot of vodka (more if I was a regular drinker). I will
smoke a nice fatty each time and then get my nice quiet relaxing CD playing.
For convenience and added effect, I'll switch it to continuous play so I don
't have to bother with always turning it on.

This is the tricky part. When to put on the bag? Playing it by ear, I would
guess to wait as long as I possibly can before I decide this act. If I am
still doing quite well after finishing the meds, I'll just keep smoking and
drinking until I feel I can literally no longer stand up. At this point, I
will climb into bed and get comfortable.

I am going to practice this next part in advance so that I do it right the
first time.

At this point, I'll put the plastic bag over my head and clip the bungee
cord around my neck. Now the idea is not to suffocate myself as the primary
goal, so I won't stop yet. Somewhere along the cord, I will place a few
fingers under the plastic so that I have a little space for a little air to
get in so I can continue breathing. I will ensure my arms and hands are
positioned in such as way so that as I float off into never-never land, my
fingers will slowly let go and the cord will tighten around my neck. I will
now have guaranteed my x-it into another world far, far away from this sick
planet.

Yes, but what CD?

Oblivious · 08-07-2003, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lie

Yes, but what CD?

i dunno.

it's not my plan.

bonsor · 08-07-2003, 11:51 PM

ok. that's weird.

but not any weirder than scribbling 'if anyone asks, i wasn't miserable, just impatient' on a piece of paper and putting it in my pocket and standing in the walk in freezer with a kitchen knife trying to cut my arms. i wasn't trying too hard, but i should walk around with a razor blade from now on just in case.

Lie · 08-07-2003, 11:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oblivious
i dunno.

it's not my plan.

Poor B0lly.

Oblivious · 08-07-2003, 11:58 PM

i wonder what was on that CD.

bonsor · 08-07-2003, 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oblivious
i wonder what was on that CD.

mogwai. or sigur ros. or cher.

Lie · 08-08-2003, 12:00 AM

I was going to say undoubtably Sigur Ros.

noir cat · 08-08-2003, 12:00 AM

This isn't what I consider coming close to suicide, but I used to write suicide notes every few months at one point in my life.

Nate the Grate · 08-08-2003, 12:06 AM

Lie · 08-08-2003, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ******
ok. that's weird.

but not any weirder than scribbling 'if anyone asks, i wasn't miserable, just impatient' on a piece of paper and putting it in my pocket and standing in the walk in freezer with a kitchen knife trying to cut my arms. i wasn't trying too hard, but i should walk around with a razor blade from now on just in case.

McDonald's not working out so well for you?

yo soy el mejor · 08-08-2003, 12:09 AM

i tried to hang myself once

but that shit didnt work because as soon as my breathing started to sound funny and hollow and my face started to hurt i stopped and just went to bed.

D. · 08-08-2003, 12:48 AM

one time i was getting ready to hang myself in my garage. then i forgot i had to write a suicide note. so, by the time i was done with the note, my dad and brother came home.
so, i had time to think about what a stupid idea it was.

then one day i got REALLY DOWN and made a decision to kill myself. it was perfect, everyone was gone...so, i put on louis armstrong's "what a wonderful world" (for irony) on repeat and then realized i had no place to put the rope in the apartment. so i lived!

then one time i tried taking a bunch of pills with alcohol, but i just got terribly sick the next day. throwing up and whatnot. it was baaad.

now i just realize that suicide is stupid. for me atleast. i like my life. i think i'll keep it.

ammy · 08-08-2003, 12:50 AM

i thought at one point i was suicidal, then I realized that being suicidal involves actually trying...

closest i've gotten is burning and cutting myself.. but never in a way that would kill me..

neopryn · 08-08-2003, 12:52 AM

these are some great stories. i took like 10 motrin once, knowing full well that probably wouldn't do it, but I didn't even get sick.

sppunk · 08-08-2003, 12:57 AM

Suicide, to me, is an easy excuse to a hard existence.

Nimrod's Son · 08-08-2003, 01:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oblivious
This recipe begins 7 days before the final konclusion.

It comes in 3 basic parts:

1 - diet

2 - medication

3 - the big x-it

Ingredients:

Lithium carbonate everything I've got

Restoril (sleeping pills) 10 ea

Mobicox (pain pills) 15 ea

Vodka 26 oz

Cannabis 1/8 oz

Plastic bag (from supermarket) 1

Small bungee cord (neck size) 1

CD (relaxing music) 1

Diet:
First, I begin a diet where I ingest the least amount of salt as possible.
With the absence of salt in my system, this will elevate the toxicity of the
Lithium and provide a better opportunity to reach dangerous toxic levels.

(If I ran or exercised, that would have been an added benefit as I would
sweat out the salt in my body.)

Second, I eat a lot of fruit or other foods that will cause me to have
diarrhea. In doing so, this will cause my body to purge itself of water in
my system.

An amazing effect - I might even try forcing myself to vomit at least once a
day and this will also have the desired result.

Finally, I will cut my diet in half. This is frustrating for me, but by
doing so, I weaken my system as well as making it susceptible to craving
whatever I put in my mouth.

Medication:
Lithium - I will continue taking my regular dosage of lithium as prescribed
by my pdoc. This is important so I have a suitable level of the drug in my
body. Approximately 7 days before the x-it, I start to increase my intake. I
do this for about 3 days. I don't want to do too much at one time because I
may have to abort my plans because I went toxic too soon and this is not
good. I want to avoid having to go to the hospital because they WILL find
excess in my system and see that I was making another attempt. I will then
be scrutinized forever making it difficult to go this route again.

On the fourth day, I increase by another (maybe during the 12 hours I are
not scheduled). I do this for two days and then increase by another at the
same time period.

By following these instructions for lithium, I should be adequately prepared
for the blastoff on the 7th day.

Restoril - I won't take these pills until the big day. I don't want to
dilute the effect on my system if I am taking these already because I am
manic or whatever. (I put on an Academy performance to get the sleeping
pills today. I wish someone was there to see me.)

Mobicox - Ditto for these. I want a big punch to put me over. I will deal
with the body pain for a few days, besides, it will only be for a few more
days of pain and I will be free forever.

The Big X-It:

After I take care of personal logistics, I will get ready for the fun.
(Note: since this has never been done like this before, I am just providing
a plan and hope my calculations will be successful.)

I will set aside about 12 hours so I can complete my objective. This is just
being on the safe side. I will make sure I have all of my ingredients ready.

The key (I think) is to not take everything all together at the same time.
This will probably just make me vomit and render my plan useless. I'll just
be slow and enjoy the process.

It's probably best that I have a very small snack in my belly so I don't get
any pain in my gut from the drugs.

Using my own judgment, it should take about 3 to 5 hours to ingest
everything. (** I won't be lying down at any time during this process
because I may pass out too soon.**)

So according to my quantities, I would take, say 2 sleeping pills, 3 pain
pills, and 3 lithium every half hour to an hour. It is important I wash it
down with a double shot of vodka (more if I was a regular drinker). I will
smoke a nice fatty each time and then get my nice quiet relaxing CD playing.
For convenience and added effect, I'll switch it to continuous play so I don
't have to bother with always turning it on.

This is the tricky part. When to put on the bag? Playing it by ear, I would
guess to wait as long as I possibly can before I decide this act. If I am
still doing quite well after finishing the meds, I'll just keep smoking and
drinking until I feel I can literally no longer stand up. At this point, I
will climb into bed and get comfortable.

I am going to practice this next part in advance so that I do it right the
first time.

At this point, I'll put the plastic bag over my head and clip the bungee
cord around my neck. Now the idea is not to suffocate myself as the primary
goal, so I won't stop yet. Somewhere along the cord, I will place a few
fingers under the plastic so that I have a little space for a little air to
get in so I can continue breathing. I will ensure my arms and hands are
positioned in such as way so that as I float off into never-never land, my
fingers will slowly let go and the cord will tighten around my neck. I will
now have guaranteed my x-it into another world far, far away from this sick
planet.

Um... sorry. You weren't really trying to kill yourself.

If you were, you would have jumped off of a building or swallowed a shotgun shell. I don't buy it.

People who really want to off themselves, do.

Fattening Ass · 08-08-2003, 01:58 AM

suicide is the ultimate life copout.

Oblivious · 08-08-2003, 02:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nimrod's Son
Um... sorry. You weren't really trying to kill yourself.

If you were, you would have jumped off of a building or swallowed a shotgun shell. I don't buy it.

People who really want to off themselves, do.

since i've already stated that i did not write that, i'll assume that when you're saying "you", you aren't meaning me.

Crippler · 08-08-2003, 02:12 AM

Logging onto Netphoria is about the closest I'll ever come to ending it all.

Oh, shit! 13,000 posts!

*kills self*

Nimrod's Son · 08-08-2003, 02:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oblivious

since i've already stated that i did not write that, i'll assume that when you're saying "you", you aren't meaning me.

No, it was whomever's plan that was.

If I were to try to off myself, which I have never even contemplated, I would jump off of the Empire State Building, or something similar.

neopryn · 08-08-2003, 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nimrod's Son
I would jump off of the Empire State Building, or something similar.

Hell yes.

MstrGhost · 08-08-2003, 02:34 AM

A shitty day, "betrayed" by some closer friends, almost no food, another skin hair cut, more than 20 mexazolam (it's a cns depressive, at that point i was supposed to take half a day since i've got only 55kgs, I belive It wouldn't kill, but could cause coma or anything shitty, anyway, I just needed to disconnect, even if only for a awhile), took some more hours later.
Woke up 17h later in an hospital washing my stomach, oh and yeah, the next few days I was stoned as hell. I remember listening to soma (from the us 2lp, oh yeah stupid details as usual, since I hadn't the uk at that time

, me and my parenthesys bigger than the whole sentences) and crying to it next day, ironic huh?

Nimrod's Son · 08-08-2003, 02:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by neopryn
Hell yes.

Are you supporting that as a means of suicide, or encouraging me to do it?

neopryn · 08-08-2003, 02:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nimrod's Son
Are you supporting that as a means of suicide, or encouraging me to do it?

As soon as I read what I wrote, I thought it sounded wrong.

Yeah, it just seems like a great way to die. The fall would be awesome. But I agree with what Fattening Ass said. Thank god that teen angst is over with.

Guen · 08-08-2003, 02:50 AM

the day that my parents found out that i was dating a girl (they're southern baptists; my mother wouldn't even touch me for a month, i was forbidden to see my girlfriend, denounced, sent to church counseling, routinely screamed at for being disgusting), i spent three hours in the bathtub trying to convince myself to drown. i was fifteen. i thought that i had experienced the worst, and that i couldn't make it better. i stayed under for about four minutes on the most sincere attempt, and then realized, when the desperation to breathe set in, that i was really only doing it because it was the easiest way to get out of dealing with my family situation. i didn't think the world was a terrible place. and i realized what a stupid way it was to leave people in the lurch. and i just dried off.

i had some trouble with clinical depression, too (it's hereditary in our family), but even though i thought about death occasionally, i never planned suicide. with depression, i didn't care enough about anything to move, much less try to off myself. with me depression wasn't so much about the sadness, but about not even caring about the sadness.

i'd say i haven't come close to suicide at all. i think that more often than not, it's petty.

noir cat · 08-08-2003, 06:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by neopryn
Yeah, it just seems like a great way to die. The fall would be awesome.

I thought about falling off a really tall building, but not before swallowing a whole bunch of pills on the ledge and also bringing a gun so I can shot myself in the head while falling. If one of those things don't kill me, then I"m fucked.

severin · 08-08-2003, 06:23 AM

i was pretty close to jumping in front of a train one day, when school pressure was to much for me and i realized, that i'd have to repeat one year. i was standing on the edge of the platform and waited for the next train to come. fortunatly the next train stopped at the station (which was very small, so more trains went through at 100 mph than actually stopping). and i realized that if i'd jump now, the possibility to live was higher than to die, and i stepped back. i talked to my parents about it that evening. they supported me through the time then

andysong · 08-08-2003, 06:46 AM

the only near-suicides i have heard about in my group of friends revolve around trying to overdose on painkillers, eg. nurofen or even aspirin.

case one: girl takes a lot of aspirin, it causes her a lot of pain (unbearable even), so she calls the hospital and gets her stomach pumped or something, although she is the biggest attention whore I have ever met.

case two: girl takes 20+ nurofen and ends up feeling very sick but doesn't die.

I have not ever personally attempted suicide, although I have considered it many times, I wouldn't do it though - I heart life now.

The closest I have come though is when I took valium and a lot of alcohol one evening, I spent the majority of the night/morning trying to control my breathing.

08-07-2003, 11:40 PM	#1
bonsor Minion of Satan Location: midwest Posts: 8,771	what would you consider coming really close to commiting suicide? and what would you say is the closest you've ever come? you first.

08-08-2003, 12:06 AM	#11
Nate the Grate Minion of Satan Posts: 6,212	:erm

08-08-2003, 12:48 AM	#14
D. Consume my pants. Location: Missouri Posts: 36,063	one time i was getting ready to hang myself in my garage. then i forgot i had to write a suicide note. so, by the time i was done with the note, my dad and brother came home. so, i had time to think about what a stupid idea it was. then one day i got REALLY DOWN and made a decision to kill myself. it was perfect, everyone was gone...so, i put on louis armstrong's "what a wonderful world" (for irony) on repeat and then realized i had no place to put the rope in the apartment. so i lived! then one time i tried taking a bunch of pills with alcohol, but i just got terribly sick the next day. throwing up and whatnot. it was baaad. now i just realize that suicide is stupid. for me atleast. i like my life. i think i'll keep it. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

08-08-2003, 06:23 AM	#29
severin no more than sympathy Location: lying on the floor Posts: 14,826	i was pretty close to jumping in front of a train one day, when school pressure was to much for me and i realized, that i'd have to repeat one year. i was standing on the edge of the platform and waited for the next train to come. fortunatly the next train stopped at the station (which was very small, so more trains went through at 100 mph than actually stopping). and i realized that if i'd jump now, the possibility to live was higher than to die, and i stepped back. i talked to my parents about it that evening. they supported me through the time then __________________ i once told a To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. that nothing really ends

08-07-2003, 11:47 PM	#2
Oblivious Apocalyptic Poster Location: Village Oblivia Posts: 3,481	This recipe begins 7 days before the final konclusion. It comes in 3 basic parts: 1 - diet 2 - medication 3 - the big x-it Ingredients: Lithium carbonate everything I've got Restoril (sleeping pills) 10 ea Mobicox (pain pills) 15 ea Vodka 26 oz Cannabis 1/8 oz Plastic bag (from supermarket) 1 Small bungee cord (neck size) 1 CD (relaxing music) 1 Diet: First, I begin a diet where I ingest the least amount of salt as possible. With the absence of salt in my system, this will elevate the toxicity of the Lithium and provide a better opportunity to reach dangerous toxic levels. (If I ran or exercised, that would have been an added benefit as I would sweat out the salt in my body.) Second, I eat a lot of fruit or other foods that will cause me to have diarrhea. In doing so, this will cause my body to purge itself of water in my system. An amazing effect - I might even try forcing myself to vomit at least once a day and this will also have the desired result. Finally, I will cut my diet in half. This is frustrating for me, but by doing so, I weaken my system as well as making it susceptible to craving whatever I put in my mouth. Medication: Lithium - I will continue taking my regular dosage of lithium as prescribed by my pdoc. This is important so I have a suitable level of the drug in my body. Approximately 7 days before the x-it, I start to increase my intake. I do this for about 3 days. I don't want to do too much at one time because I may have to abort my plans because I went toxic too soon and this is not good. I want to avoid having to go to the hospital because they WILL find excess in my system and see that I was making another attempt. I will then be scrutinized forever making it difficult to go this route again. On the fourth day, I increase by another (maybe during the 12 hours I are not scheduled). I do this for two days and then increase by another at the same time period. By following these instructions for lithium, I should be adequately prepared for the blastoff on the 7th day. Restoril - I won't take these pills until the big day. I don't want to dilute the effect on my system if I am taking these already because I am manic or whatever. (I put on an Academy performance to get the sleeping pills today. I wish someone was there to see me.) Mobicox - Ditto for these. I want a big punch to put me over. I will deal with the body pain for a few days, besides, it will only be for a few more days of pain and I will be free forever. The Big X-It: After I take care of personal logistics, I will get ready for the fun. (Note: since this has never been done like this before, I am just providing a plan and hope my calculations will be successful.) I will set aside about 12 hours so I can complete my objective. This is just being on the safe side. I will make sure I have all of my ingredients ready. The key (I think) is to not take everything all together at the same time. This will probably just make me vomit and render my plan useless. I'll just be slow and enjoy the process. It's probably best that I have a very small snack in my belly so I don't get any pain in my gut from the drugs. Using my own judgment, it should take about 3 to 5 hours to ingest everything. ( I won't be lying down at any time during this process because I may pass out too soon.) So according to my quantities, I would take, say 2 sleeping pills, 3 pain pills, and 3 lithium every half hour to an hour. It is important I wash it down with a double shot of vodka (more if I was a regular drinker). I will smoke a nice fatty each time and then get my nice quiet relaxing CD playing. For convenience and added effect, I'll switch it to continuous play so I don 't have to bother with always turning it on. This is the tricky part. When to put on the bag? Playing it by ear, I would guess to wait as long as I possibly can before I decide this act. If I am still doing quite well after finishing the meds, I'll just keep smoking and drinking until I feel I can literally no longer stand up. At this point, I will climb into bed and get comfortable. I am going to practice this next part in advance so that I do it right the first time. At this point, I'll put the plastic bag over my head and clip the bungee cord around my neck. Now the idea is not to suffocate myself as the primary goal, so I won't stop yet. Somewhere along the cord, I will place a few fingers under the plastic so that I have a little space for a little air to get in so I can continue breathing. I will ensure my arms and hands are positioned in such as way so that as I float off into never-never land, my fingers will slowly let go and the cord will tighten around my neck. I will now have guaranteed my x-it into another world far, far away from this sick planet.

08-07-2003, 11:51 PM	#5
bonsor Minion of Satan Location: midwest Posts: 8,771	ok. that's weird. but not any weirder than scribbling 'if anyone asks, i wasn't miserable, just impatient' on a piece of paper and putting it in my pocket and standing in the walk in freezer with a kitchen knife trying to cut my arms. i wasn't trying too hard, but i should walk around with a razor blade from now on just in case.

08-07-2003, 11:58 PM	#7
Oblivious Apocalyptic Poster Location: Village Oblivia Posts: 3,481	i wonder what was on that CD.

08-08-2003, 12:00 AM	#9
Lie Socialphobic Location: Goin' out West where they'll appreciate me Posts: 10,001	I was going to say undoubtably Sigur Ros.

08-08-2003, 12:00 AM	#10
noir cat Socialphobic Location: Hicksville, NY Posts: 11,699	This isn't what I consider coming close to suicide, but I used to write suicide notes every few months at one point in my life.

08-08-2003, 12:09 AM	#13
yo soy el mejor Banned Location: all over the Internet Posts: 43,693	i tried to hang myself once but that shit didnt work because as soon as my breathing started to sound funny and hollow and my face started to hurt i stopped and just went to bed.

08-08-2003, 12:50 AM	#15
ammy yer mom Posts: 23,180	i thought at one point i was suicidal, then I realized that being suicidal involves actually trying... closest i've gotten is burning and cutting myself.. but never in a way that would kill me..

08-08-2003, 12:52 AM	#16
neopryn let's see your penis! Location: i had a few beers, but i'm cool to drive Posts: 31,862	these are some great stories. i took like 10 motrin once, knowing full well that probably wouldn't do it, but I didn't even get sick.

08-08-2003, 12:57 AM	#17
sppunk Netphoria's George Will Location: Fenway Park Posts: 37,125	Suicide, to me, is an easy excuse to a hard existence.

08-08-2003, 01:58 AM	#19
Fattening Ass Just Hook it to My Veins! Location: Planet Nintendu 64 Posts: 30,825	suicide is the ultimate life copout.

08-08-2003, 02:12 AM	#21
Crippler Apocalyptic Poster Location: Up in this bitch Posts: 4,446	Logging onto Netphoria is about the closest I'll ever come to ending it all. Oh, shit! 13,000 posts! kills self

08-08-2003, 02:34 AM	#24
MstrGhost Apocalyptic Poster Location: Portugal Posts: 2,805	A shitty day, "betrayed" by some closer friends, almost no food, another skin hair cut, more than 20 mexazolam (it's a cns depressive, at that point i was supposed to take half a day since i've got only 55kgs, I belive It wouldn't kill, but could cause coma or anything shitty, anyway, I just needed to disconnect, even if only for a awhile), took some more hours later. Woke up 17h later in an hospital washing my stomach, oh and yeah, the next few days I was stoned as hell. I remember listening to soma (from the us 2lp, oh yeah stupid details as usual, since I hadn't the uk at that time , me and my parenthesys bigger than the whole sentences) and crying to it next day, ironic huh?

08-08-2003, 02:50 AM	#27
Guen Demi-God Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 255	the day that my parents found out that i was dating a girl (they're southern baptists; my mother wouldn't even touch me for a month, i was forbidden to see my girlfriend, denounced, sent to church counseling, routinely screamed at for being disgusting), i spent three hours in the bathtub trying to convince myself to drown. i was fifteen. i thought that i had experienced the worst, and that i couldn't make it better. i stayed under for about four minutes on the most sincere attempt, and then realized, when the desperation to breathe set in, that i was really only doing it because it was the easiest way to get out of dealing with my family situation. i didn't think the world was a terrible place. and i realized what a stupid way it was to leave people in the lurch. and i just dried off. i had some trouble with clinical depression, too (it's hereditary in our family), but even though i thought about death occasionally, i never planned suicide. with depression, i didn't care enough about anything to move, much less try to off myself. with me depression wasn't so much about the sadness, but about not even caring about the sadness. i'd say i haven't come close to suicide at all. i think that more often than not, it's petty.

08-08-2003, 06:46 AM	#30
andysong Apocalyptic Poster Location: you had me at hello Posts: 1,023	the only near-suicides i have heard about in my group of friends revolve around trying to overdose on painkillers, eg. nurofen or even aspirin. case one: girl takes a lot of aspirin, it causes her a lot of pain (unbearable even), so she calls the hospital and gets her stomach pumped or something, although she is the biggest attention whore I have ever met. case two: girl takes 20+ nurofen and ends up feeling very sick but doesn't die. I have not ever personally attempted suicide, although I have considered it many times, I wouldn't do it though - I heart life now. The closest I have come though is when I took valium and a lot of alcohol one evening, I spent the majority of the night/morning trying to control my breathing.