leaves etc

Samsa · 11-15-2002, 04:32 PM

walking back from class and it was 65 degrees exactly -- there are all these rustling noises in the woods and i always think i'll see someone but i never do -- it's just squirrels, squirrels amaze me - the ones here are extra non-flighty i sometimes pass them and i get to watch them eat when i walk by and it amazes me, their little hands. also thinking about another silly history class - discussed cortes and pizarro etc, after being informed that up to 90% of the native population died we were asked to get in pairs and discuss whether it was genocide - the girl in front of me turned around and we just sort of shrugged. i'm bad with ethnicities but then i decided that she is probably some form of those people the spaniards killed -- i was just thinking about this and i saw a little finch on the ground jumping about, like sleeping beauty or something because it was just jumping around and didn't think i was going to step on it which i decided is a horrible darwinian tactic. i get mad when little animals run away from me but then i remember that even though i have no desire to hurt them a lot of people do and then i just feel sad. and then -- i look to my left and it's like -- i can't even explain -- the are leaves just floating off of the trees and it seems so natural but it was bizarre and utterly shocking. i had to hold my hand up to shield the sun which is also extremely bright today -- but it amazed me. you go through a whole summer not being able to see anything, and suddenly this wind comes along and blows the leaves away. and i saw the swamp and i saw these -- and i immediately thought of this poem so i have to share it

The leaves are falling, falling as if from far up,
as if orchards were dying high in space.
Each leaf falls as if it were motioning "no."

And tonight the heavy earth is falling
away from all the other stars in the loneliness.

We're all falling. This hand here is falling.
And look at the other one. . . .It's in them all.

And yet there is Someone, whose hands
infinitely calm, hold up all this falling.

i just saw things i'd never seen before and it continued, every step there were more trees and more leaves. i couldn't believe there were so many dead leaves on the ground. i stepped on one just to be mean.

and then finally when i got in sight of my building...more leaves, just more and more and more and i was trying to think of what they were like, were they angels or were they teardrops and i couldn't make up my mind and i just became so appreciative, because i realized how rilke is so right. and it amazed me how there are people out there who can put things, like people think experiences are so individualized and theyh're not, because some guy wrote a poem practically a century ago and it's so true, and i realized this when i came into my room and it was pitch black but i still haven't -- the last stanza isn't there yet but if rilke was so right about the first 3 how could he not be right about the last. and this morning i remember on the way back from breakfast i said 'the leaves are only pretty for a day and then they die!' and they told me that it's because we had such a dry summer but i don't really care anymore.

11-15-2002, 04:32 PM	#1
Samsa Banned Location: A theater near you Posts: 7,929	leaves etc walking back from class and it was 65 degrees exactly -- there are all these rustling noises in the woods and i always think i'll see someone but i never do -- it's just squirrels, squirrels amaze me - the ones here are extra non-flighty i sometimes pass them and i get to watch them eat when i walk by and it amazes me, their little hands. also thinking about another silly history class - discussed cortes and pizarro etc, after being informed that up to 90% of the native population died we were asked to get in pairs and discuss whether it was genocide - the girl in front of me turned around and we just sort of shrugged. i'm bad with ethnicities but then i decided that she is probably some form of those people the spaniards killed -- i was just thinking about this and i saw a little finch on the ground jumping about, like sleeping beauty or something because it was just jumping around and didn't think i was going to step on it which i decided is a horrible darwinian tactic. i get mad when little animals run away from me but then i remember that even though i have no desire to hurt them a lot of people do and then i just feel sad. and then -- i look to my left and it's like -- i can't even explain -- the are leaves just floating off of the trees and it seems so natural but it was bizarre and utterly shocking. i had to hold my hand up to shield the sun which is also extremely bright today -- but it amazed me. you go through a whole summer not being able to see anything, and suddenly this wind comes along and blows the leaves away. and i saw the swamp and i saw these -- and i immediately thought of this poem so i have to share it The leaves are falling, falling as if from far up, as if orchards were dying high in space. Each leaf falls as if it were motioning "no." And tonight the heavy earth is falling away from all the other stars in the loneliness. We're all falling. This hand here is falling. And look at the other one. . . .It's in them all. And yet there is Someone, whose hands infinitely calm, hold up all this falling. i just saw things i'd never seen before and it continued, every step there were more trees and more leaves. i couldn't believe there were so many dead leaves on the ground. i stepped on one just to be mean. and then finally when i got in sight of my building...more leaves, just more and more and more and i was trying to think of what they were like, were they angels or were they teardrops and i couldn't make up my mind and i just became so appreciative, because i realized how rilke is so right. and it amazed me how there are people out there who can put things, like people think experiences are so individualized and theyh're not, because some guy wrote a poem practically a century ago and it's so true, and i realized this when i came into my room and it was pitch black but i still haven't -- the last stanza isn't there yet but if rilke was so right about the first 3 how could he not be right about the last. and this morning i remember on the way back from breakfast i said 'the leaves are only pretty for a day and then they die!' and they told me that it's because we had such a dry summer but i don't really care anymore.